Drumsticks and Penalty Kicks
by les16
Summary: He still watches her. She still plays the drums. They just do it together. Drummer Girl and Creeper learn to love, trust, and grow together. Sequel/Continuation to "Watching Her". AH.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own the plot. **

**Hello, everyone! Long time no see, huh? It hasn't been that long, has it? Did you miss our Drummer Girl and Creeper? I'm really excited to get to the continuation of **_**Watching Her,**_** so welcome to **_**Drumsticks and Penalty Kicks**_**! I have lots of things to cover in this part - some you'll expect, some that will surprise you. Thank you so much for coming back. I've missed you all! **

**And special thanks to Laurel, J'me, Bornonhalloween, Jen, Becky, and Caren for all their help. You girls rock my world and help in more ways than I can tell you. **

**Alrighty then, we're jumping right back into things … if you need a refresher, glance back at Chapter 49 of **_**Watching Her**_**, we're starting right where that one ended! (Just to let you know, if you haven't read **_**Watching Her**_**, this story won't make sense!) **

**Onward we go … **

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**Chapter 1 - Quarter Notes on the Bass Drum**

**BPOV**

Oh.

Oh my God.

He kissed me.

He loves me.

He kissed me and he loves me.

_Wow._

_Brilliant, Bella. Really eloquent, aren't you? That's all you can come up with for the best kiss of your life … 'wow'?_

I try to lift my fingers to my lips, which are still tingling from his kiss, but I can't; Edward's hanging onto my hand.

I don't want him to let go because if he does, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep myself upright. My legs certainly don't seem as if they're in any condition to support me considering they feel like cooked spaghetti noodles.

"That was totally worth waiting three months for." He chuckles and then leans forward to brush his lips over mine.

I sigh. My whole body still trembles, not to mention the flood of emotions from simply being right here, right now, with him. I look into his eyes; I can't stop staring at them. They are so green. So, so green. I didn't even know eyes could be that color green, like the color of a green apple Jolly Rancher. Clear and bright and so pretty.

I'm vaguely aware of the sound of retreating footsteps and fading voices. I glance around. My heart races and my fingers twitch and not in that good 'I want to touch Edward' kind of way either. The large entryway is almost empty and that makes my stomach drop. _How many people witnessed our little ... well, actually it was epically huge ... moment just now? _Maybe I should care that others saw it, but unsurprisingly, I don't. We could have been standing in the middle of Rockefeller Center at Christmas and it wouldn't have mattered to me. The second I saw Edward, there was no one else but him - his friends, other students, teachers be damned. Now that our little Creeper/Drummer Girl bubble has burst, at least for the time being, the reality of where I am and what's about to happen makes me want to turn around and run right back out the door.

"Hey," Edward says softly, and his voice instantly makes me feel better. There's a dip between his eyebrows as he stares at me; I want to reach up and rub it away.

"You can do this." He's so sure, so confident that I can't help but smile. He gives me one back, and it's enough to make me take a deep breath.

"Come on, the last bell's about to ring and we can't have you getting detention already," he urges as he squeezes our joined fingers and leads me toward my first class. He smirks as he leans in close. "Besides, I think we've probably given everyone enough to talk about."

There are a few students lingering in the hallway lamenting the end of summer vacation. The bang of a locker door. The squeak of sneakers on the shiny floors.

"Okay, you have World History, right?" Edward asks as we walk down a hall to the left. We went over our schedules last night, so I know he's just making sure I know where I'm supposed to be; I have no doubt he already has mine memorized. I nod, nerves making my whole body break out in goosebumps, or maybe it's just the fact that for the first time, Edward is with me, out in public no less.

Holy shit. Talk about jumping from the frying pan straight into the fire.

I gasp, my chest is tight and I feel lightheaded. So many things are on the tip of my tongue, but he's babbling, and I can't follow what he's saying. I try to pay attention to which direction the classroom is, but realize it's pretty much an effort in futility … he just keeps talking a mile a minute. He's so excited - his eyes bright and his cheeks pink. He's adorable and everything I hoped he'd be and about a hundred things more. I stumble as he pulls me along behind him. When he stops and turns to look at me, I bump into him.

The look on my face obviously makes him worry. I suppose my wide eyes, the fact that I'm gnawing on my bottom lip like a dog with a bone, and that I can't quite seem to catch my breath are enough to make anyone wonder if I'm okay. I'm kind of wondering that myself.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

He's so concerned; it's written all over his otherwise perfect face. Furrowed forehead, lips turned down, and eyes pinched. His thumb is tracing endless circles on the back of my hand and I'm almost positive he doesn't even realize he's doing it.

I huff then words just tumble out, like an overloaded apple display at the grocery store.

"It's all of this," I practically shriek and wave my free hand as if shooing away an imaginary swarm of flies around my head. "Saying goodbye to Mom this morning, then Phil and he was so nice, and then there was your note, and then I was here and you were here, and you kissed me and you love me, and now I have to walk in that classroom without you and everyone's going to look at me, like they don't already do it enough, but now you kissed me and everyone will know and I just … ugh … I don't even know."

I have to close my eyes because even though I seriously could look at him all day, every day and never get tired of it, there's so much stuff swirling around in my brain that I can't see, let alone think straight.

"Oh, shit. You're freaking out. This is all too much. Damn it, I was worried this would happen. I should have met you outside or something, or picked you up this morning instead of making you walk inside all by yourself. Do you want me to take you home? I'm supposed to go meet with Mr. Banner after first period, but I can skip; he won't be too mad. Fuck, I must be the worst boyfriend ever …"

And with that word, that one beautiful, scary, so big word, nothing else matters but him. I grab the center of his shirt and tug … hard. He catches himself, just barely, but we still wind up in an Edward, Bella, wall sandwich. I like it. A lot. Every inch of his body that can be is pressed against mine, and I don't want to move, don't want him to move. I want him to stay right where he is, always.

His nostrils flare and his eyes blaze, for just a moment, the blink of an eye really, then they soften. He lifts a hand and runs his fingers through my hair then lays his palm along my now very warm, and I'm sure very pink cheek. Our eyes are locked together, and I know every second we stand here is one more we shouldn't, but I can't make myself move, not now, not after waiting so long to finally have him this close.

"Bella," he whispers.

"You said boyfriend," I blurt at the same time, but I don't think he minds the abrupt interruption. He doesn't mind at all.

"Damn straight I did." He grins. "You're mine and I'm yours, Bella, and everyone will know it soon enough."

I blow a strand of wayward hair out of my face and Edward's smiling at me. Cat that swallowed the canary smiling, dimples, gleaming eyes and tongue in the corner of his mouth smiling. If I didn't love him and think he was about the most amazing thing ever, I might be tempted to be really pissed off at him. When the left side of his mouth lifts into a smirk, I realize I'm in trouble. Big, big trouble because that smirk, holy hell, it's going to be the death of me. I just know it.

I glance around and notice that the hall is almost empty. My heart starts pounding again just thinking about the fact that I have to walk into my classroom by myself.

"Hey, stop," he pleads, covering my hands that are still holding onto his shirt with his own. "You can do this, baby. Remember what I told you? You don't ever have to do anything by yourself again."

I lean my head forward and rest it against his chest and just breathe him in.

"I can't believe you're really here, that I can touch you and look at you and Christ, kiss you." He breathes out and all my hysterical thoughts are gone … poof … like Dumbledore just waved his wand and made everything but Edward disappear.

He tips my chin up and kisses me really quick and then steps backward. "We still have so much to talk about, but you need to go," he urges. "Shit, you really need to go," he says glancing at his watch and then he practically pushes me through the door to my history class. "I'll meet you after class. You've got this, baby, trust me."

He winks then rushes down the hallway.

I take a deep breath as I watch him then turn toward the door. I can do this.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**So, it begins. Next up we'll see Bella meet the rest of the group and see how Edward handles all the new changes. **

**In case you didn't know, there's a group on FB where I'll post teasers and maybe a picture or two. I'm not planning on doing pic teases like I did for WH, but I'm a visual person, so when it fits, I'm sure there will be a few posted as we go along. Come join and chat. I'd love to have you. **

**www(.)facebook(.)com / groups / 137144056381565 /**

**Posting days will be Monday and Thursday, so I'll see you in a few days. Hope everyone has a Happy Memorial Day!**

**Erin~**


	2. Give and Go

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own this plot. **

**Oh my! I'm totally overwhelmed and very grateful to everyone that read, reviewed, alerted, and faved the first chapter! WOW … as Bella would say. Not exactly eloquent, but it does get the point across. Thank you … just really, thank you! **

**This part of the story is going to be different from the first one, but I think, I hope, you'll enjoy it just the same. Different mindset in this one, different obstacles, different issues to face so the POVs will be different, what's covered will be different, too. I'm flying by the seat of my pants y'all, since this wasn't planned, but I promise, I won't let you down. There are lots of topics that need to be addressed, lots of directions to go. **

**So, let's check on our boy and see how he's doing, shall we?**

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**Chapter 2 - Give and Go**

**EPOV**

"Shit, shit, shit," I mutter harshly as I skid to a stop in front of my Econ class.

"Nice of you to join us, Mr. Cullen," Mr. Knight says pointedly as he stares at me over the top of his glasses. He's holding a stack of brightly-colored paper and watches as I move toward my chair.

I drop into my seat in front of Emmett and give Mr. Knight what I hope is an innocent look. "Sorry, sir, just showing a student to class."

"Hmph." He grunts and goes back to handing out the syllabus.

"Do all new students get a private escort by Vice-President Edward Cullen, or is that just for Bella?" Emmett asks as he jabs me with a pen.

"Shut the fuck up, asshole," I whisper-hiss back at him, though the corners of my mouth lift because holy fucking shit … Bella Day has started out even better than I ever dreamed.

Mr. Knight begins to drone on about what to expect from his class, when we'll have quizzes and exams, and what topics we're going to cover the first six weeks. I try to pay attention, but after about three minutes, I don't even fight the urge to let my mind drift. I'm still having a hard time believing Bella's really here. Well, she's not technically right here, right now, but we're in the same building at least. That means as soon as this class is over, I'll be able to touch her and see her smile up close and personal-like … not to mention getting another hit of that fuckawesome peppermint sugar cookie smell that's all Bella, only Bella.

I groan a little and cough into my hand to cover it up when my mind moves to the way she felt pressed up against me and how it felt to have her mouth on mine. Like fucking heaven, that's for damned sure, and something I plan on enjoying a whole lot. All of it … the kissing, the touching, and everything else if I have anything to say about it. .

I shift and ignore Emmett when he snorts behind me. Asshole. My fingers start drumming on my desk and my knee's bouncing so fast I should probably worry about ligament damage. I wonder how her class is going and if anyone's said anything to her. Fuck, no one better say anything to her. I know everyone's going to though; it's just the way things work when someone new comes to town. My chest gets tight and my fingers take up residence in my hair so often that Emmett reaches up and clamps his hand down on my shoulder.

"Dude."

I turn my head and slide my eyes toward him. I growl. Not intentionally of course, but shit, I'm going out of my damn mind and it's only been … hell, thirty minutes, I notice when I glance down at my watch.

"Chill, Edward. She's fine. I'm pretty sure she's a big girl and can handle going to class by herself," he says quietly.

Mr. Knight is writing some shit down on the board that I'm sure I should pay attention to, but instead I turn sideways in my seat so I can look at Emmett.

"I know, man, but still. She was freaking out before she went into her class. You know how everyone is here; they'll be all over her like flies on shit, asking her questions, about her mom and probably Phil, too. If Jessica or Lauren or hell, fucking Newton is in class with her, I just …"

He chuckles and I swear I want to punch him straight in the throat. "What the fuck are you laughing at?"

"My friend, the only thing that anyone will be asking her is why the hell your tongue was down her throat."

Well now.

Guess I don't mind that so much, but I bet Bella will be embarrassed about our little PDA. I hope not too much though, because damn, it was fucking perfect if you ask me. As soon as I felt her presence and we saw each other, nothing else in the whole world mattered but her.

"You saw?" It's just now managed to infiltrate my Bella-filled mind that while I was consumed with all things Bella, there were still an awful lot of people in that hallway, like the idiot behind me, who witnessed our rather huge moment.

Is it wrong that I kind of want to run around and give everyone high-fives like I just scored the winning touchdown of the Super Bowl?

He smiles so big all his teeth are showing and nods his head. "Me and every other person in that hallway. It was like something out of a movie, man. The girls were all oohing and ahhing and every guy, well besides me and Jas, had their tongues hanging down to the floor."

I'm speechless, at least until he pokes me in the arm with his index finger. "By the way, she's fucking gorgeous. I have no idea how you managed that feat of miraculousness, but good job."

"Shut up, fucker." I can't help but smirk, because well, she _is_ fucking gorgeous.

And mine.

A fact of which I'll be reminding all the other dipshits, like Newton, specifically, as soon as this class is over.

Thankfully, by the time Mr. Knight finishes writing some stuff on the board telling us what to read for class tomorrow, it's time for first period to be over. I shove all my papers in my backpack and push my way out the door, ignoring Emmett's voice behind me as he tells me to wait for him. Yeah … no. Does he not realize that I've had to spend almost sixty minutes away from Bella?

The halls are packed, which really only happens the first few days until everyone gets into the swing of things. I hear people call my name, but I keep going. The only thing I'm focused on is getting to Bella. My whole body feels like it's pumped full of adrenaline; I can feel it thrumming everywhere.

I slip between a group of underclassmen who look like fish out of water and then freeze. People keep bumping into me. I hear a few grunts and growls, but they just float away when I see Bella standing there.

Mike, Eric, and Garrett are all smiling at her. Alice and Rose are on either side of her. Jasper's approaching from the left and out of the corner of my eye I can see Ben and Angela as well. I'm sure if I tried to listen, I'd more than likely hear Jessica's whiny voice or Heidi's nasally one, but honestly, the only thing I can focus on is my girl.

_My girl, damn it._

Garrett takes a step forward and I hear, "So, Bella, where've you been hiding your pretty little self all summer, hmmm?"

Oh, hell no.

I stalk toward Bella and my heart stutter steps when she notices me and gives me _my_ smile. Garrett, the asshat, thinks it's for him because he leans closer to her, but before he can say anything, I'm next to Bella with my arm firmly, possessively around her waist.

Caveman behavior much? Perhaps. But I've waited three damn months for her and no one is getting in the way of that … teammate or not.

"Hey, baby, how was your first class?" I ask while I brush my lips across her cheek.

"It was fine, about what I expected." Her voice is a little shaky and she's so tense as she stands beside me. Her eyes are darting in every direction, skipping from one person to the next as everyone starts talking at once.

"Cullen, what the hell?"

"How do you two know each other?"

"Fast work there, Edward."

"Bella, is Edward your boyfriend?"

"Didn't I hear your dad is some sort of famous dude?"

"Where'd you come from?"

Comments are flying fast and furious. These are my friends, and I know they're excited about meeting someone new, some more than others given the way Garrett and Mike keep looking at Bella's ass, but Christ they're like a bunch of damn locusts. Jessica, Heidi, and Lauren are just yapping away, the guys keep throwing stupid ass questions out, and no one can get a word in at all. Bella turns her head toward my chest, and when I hear her take a gulp of air, I know she's had enough. I curl my fingers around her waist and try to ignore the fact that my index finger has slid beneath her shirt and is touching actual skin. Warm, silky soft, probably sugar cookie-scented skin.

Alice is on the other side of her, standing close and ready to pounce if anyone says one wrong thing to Bella. I can tell because she keeps looking from person to person as if she's trying to decide who she might have to take out first. Emmett's joined the group and has his arm draped over Rose's shoulders and he looks all happy-go-lucky, but he's ready jump in if need be and Jasper … I give him a look and tip my chin. Before anyone really knows what's happening, he's steered most of the crowd away.

Thank fuck.

"Phew, they're kind of um … overwhelming," Bella says once it's just Em, Rose, Alice, Ben, and Angela.

"They're idiots," Emmett quips before he takes two steps forward and grabs Bella by the waist and picks her up, way up, so that her head's above his and her feet are dangling in the air. "Bella, girl, it's nice to fucking finally meet you. If anyone gives you trouble, you just tell little old me and I'll take care of any of these yahoos for you … that includes Eddie, too, just so you know."

"Ahhhh, you must be Emmett." Bella giggles as she looks down at him. Her smile is genuine and though I know she's still apprehensive about today, no one else but me would be able to notice.

Because, well, I'm pretty sure I'd notice if she got a papercut on the tip of her finger.

"So, he's told you all about me, huh?" He winks at her as he sets her down on the ground. "I _am_ a legend in these here parts, so I'm not surprised."

"Stop being such a jackass, jackass," Rose says as she jabs him with her elbow and rolls her eyes simultaneously. When she turns to look at Bella, her eyes are glassy and her smile is warm and welcoming.

Just like I knew she would be.

I'm sure Bella will get along with most of the girls, maybe not Lauren and Heidi so much, but I have a feeling it's going to be Rose she'll become the closest to. I love Alice to death, Angela, too, but ever since I told Rose about Bella, I've known that she's going to be just what Bella needs.

"Bella, oh my gosh, I'm so glad you're here! I've been waiting for this for months!" Rose squeals in the most un-Rose like way. She wraps her arms around a stunned Bella who gently pats her on the back while staring at me with her big, gorgeous brown eyes over Rose's shoulder.

I can't help but chuckle, nor can I help the way my insides feel like they're lit up brighter than a Christmas tree as I watch Bella being passed around. Apparently Alice and Ben were in Bella's first class with her and Angela has Pre-Calc with her next. I don't get to see Bella until third period when we have Spanish together, then again at lunch. We have English together in the afternoon, too, so all in all it's not too bad. Hopefully she'll have someone she knows in every class.

I glance down at my watch and realize there are only a few minutes until the next bell. I want some alone time with her, just long enough to touch her and look at her, and not have everyone staring at us.

I pull my arm from around her waist but slide my fingers between hers. She sighs, soft and dreamy-like when I squeeze and not gonna lie, I could eat that shit up with a spoon twenty-four-seven. I love, fucking love, knowing that it's me, only me, that has that effect on her, that can make her calm and feel safe and secure, even in the midst of all the chaos.

I tug on her hand to lead her away, but she gets passed around between the girls. Alice waves goodbye before she goes to catch up to Jasper saying she'll see us at lunch. Angela lets Bella know she'll save her a seat in Pre-Calc, and Emmett and Ben both tell her they'll see her later and walk off, leaving us alone.

Finally.

"That was …" she starts then blows out a gust of breath, looking as adorable as all get-out.

"How are you? Is this too much? No one said anything to you during first period did they? Were Garrett and Mike in your class? If they said anything to make you uncomfortable, I'll kick their asses, I swear I will. Or I'll make them run laps at practice. I'm the captain; I can do that. Fuck, Bella, they did say something …" and then my words are muffled because her hand is over my mouth.

"You are going to give yourself a heart attack if you don't calm down, Edward. I'm fine, I promise," she tells me. Her eyes are sparkly and the end of her nose is squished because she's giggling and I realize in that instant that there are hundreds, thousands, of little things that I'm going to learn about her every day now that I can see her and touch her anytime I want.

Like the fact that she has more freckles on the right side of her nose than the left. And the way she tucks her hair behind her left ear but bites the thumbnail on her right hand. Or that there's a scar on the right side of her face, right where her jaw meets her ear. Each new discovery makes me fall just a tiny bit more in love with her. The way I feel about her is scary and confusing but so damned exciting, too, that all I really want to do is lock ourselves away someplace and stay there for a very long time.

And to be completely, one hundred percent honest, it'd give me plenty of time to do all the bad things I want to do to her. The good bad things that make my jeans too tight, and make my palms sweat just thinking about them, but that I want to do really fucking badly.

"Hey," she says as she jiggles our hands.

I shake my head and concentrate on her. "So you're good?" I question again, because I can't help myself.

She rolls her eyes and huffs … a combination move I have a feeling she will become an expert at executing.

"Okay, okay, I won't ask anymore." We're almost to her classroom and I'm about  
to have to leave her again. I lift our hands and kiss the back of hers, and I sigh. "Fuck, Bella, it's almost unbelievable that I can kiss you whenever I want now."

"I wouldn't say whenever," she says sassily and I smirk.

_Oh, baby … just no._

_Poor girl, so deluded._

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, princess." I jump back when she playfully, or  
at least I hope it's playfully, tries to smack my chest.

"Watch it, mister." She growls but the corners of her mouth lift so I know she's trying like hell not to smile at me.

"Do you really think," I begin and lower my voice as I force her backward against the wall, "that after all this time, I'm going to let one opportunity to kiss you go by? I think not, Bella."

I nudge her cheek with my nose and I hear her suck in a quick breath. She smells so fucking good … so, so good. I let my lips brush along her jaw and then I flick my tongue out at a spot behind her ear. When she squeezes my hand so tightly I'm not sure it'll get feeling back in it before I have to use it again, I make sure to add kissing her behind her ear to the never-ending list of things I need to be sure to do to her repeatedly.

"See you next period, baby," I whisper and then peck her on the lips real quick, silently giving myself a big old pat on the back for the dazed look in her eyes.

I watch her walk into the classroom. Actually, I stare at her ass as she walks inside. Mmmm, my girl.

It's going to be a good year … a very, very good year.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**So far, so good, wouldn't you say? Next chapter we'll see how the rest of the goes. **

**Do you want to see the gorgeous banner the incredibly talented Jaime Arkin made for **_**Drumsticks and Penalty Kicks**_**? I know you do, so be sure to check out the blog. I'll be posting other things there as we go, too. **

**les-16 . blogspot . com**

**Fun stuff happens in the group on FB, too, so check it out. **

**www(.)facebook(.)com / groups / 137144056381565 /**

**Thanks for sticking with me! This ride is going to be fun and sweet and hot. There will be some hard parts, but the good will far outweigh them, promise. **

**Thanks as ever and always for the love … I can't tell you how much it means! **

**See you Monday! **


	3. Ghost Beat

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own the plot. **

**Thanks to all of you who have continued to follow these two on the next part of their journey! We've got lots of ground to cover so I hope you're ready. **

**Let's see how our girl's handling it all, shall we?**

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**Chapter 3 - Ghost Beat**

**BPOV**

"Bella, are you okay?" Angela whispers as she leans toward my desk.

_Am I okay?_

I can feel everyone's eyes on me and I know, _I know_, my face is beet red thanks to Edward.

Damn sexy, smirky, swoony, stupid boy.

Damn voice that's all warm and melty, luscious and decadent like the gooey center of a chocolate lava cake.

Damn kisses that make me weak in the knees and make every part of my body tingle as if I'm a neon sign that's just been plugged into an electrical outlet, buzzing and sparking.

Damn boyfriend that makes me happier than I ever thought I could be.

I breathe in and out a few times and will my heart to slow down. As I pull my notebook out of my backpack, my hands still shake and when I glance at Angela, she gives me a worried look.

"Angela, I'm fine," I insist, trying to convince myself at the same time.

She nods, a soft smile on her face. By the time Mrs. Schafer starts handing out the class information sheets, I've calmed down … somewhat. Not a lot mind you, because about every four seconds I can hear Edward's voice or feel his lips, see his eyes, his smile, and the whole 'light me up and set me on fire' thing starts all over again.

Ugh.

I take the stapled papers and glance at the list of topics we'll be covering. Thankfully, it's not too bad, and most of it I've already done back in Phoenix. Math is definitely not my strongest subject so it feels good that for the first few weeks everything will be pretty much a review.

When Mom got hurt, I missed so much school that I had to be homeschooled. Granted, it didn't help that I refused to leave her side, so Phil didn't really have much choice but to let me stay home and do my work from there and the hospital. I was taking mostly AP classes anyway, so it was just a matter of keeping up and turning in my assignments via email and meeting with teachers over Skype.

Needless to say, being back in school is just a tad overwhelming and something I'm going to have to work at getting used to again.

Not to mention being around so many people at one time. Mom's accident was huge news in Phoenix when it happened, mostly because Phil was so popular and well-loved. It was hard, really hard, dealing with all the cameras and the reporters asking questions every time we'd arrive and leave the hospital, so much so that over time I spent most days never leaving Mom's room. It was just easier that way. Harder in some ways, too, of course, seeing as how I'd hardly ever leave her side and watched, praying every day, that she'd wake up.

I sigh and glance around the room as our teacher starts on today's material. I feel the stares and I hear whispers, and as much as I try not to let it bother me, I can't quite help it. Not only am I the new girl, I'm the new girl with a juicy story, at least in most people's minds. On top of that, to anyone with a brain and a pair eyes, there's definitely something going on between Edward and me. So yeah, there's plenty to start tongues wagging.

The class passes quickly and I try not to get nervous about the fact that the next period will be spent with Edward.

As much as the thought makes me feel warm and tingly all over, it also scares the bejesus out of me, too. Not him per se, but just being with him. I have no idea what his expectations are, how we should act … or _not_ act in front of other people. There's so damn much we need to talk about, and probably should have talked about before today.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Angela asks sweetly as we both start walking toward the door. "I don't know about you, but math is not my favorite subject … I actually I hate it."

"Yeah, me, too," I answer as we wait with the crowd trying to exit. "It's so confusing sometimes."

"Well, you can always get Edward to help you with your homework." She giggles and nudges me with her shoulder. "He's always been good at anything with numbers, ever since we were little."

There's another one of those things I learn about him that I file away to think about later. My stomach sort of anxiously twists at the thought, though it's not really in the best kind of way. It's in more of an 'I wonder if I know him as well as I think I do' kind of way.

"Hey," she lowers her voice and tugs on my elbow to make me stop walking.

I don't know exactly what she sees in my eyes to make her frown, but whatever it is, she sure has a worried look on her face. "Bella, I know I just met you, and I don't really know the circumstances about how you and Edward know each other, but it's as plain as day how much he likes you. I've known Edward most of my life, and I've never seen him smile as much as he has just in the first two hours of school … the first day of school, mind you, when we're all supposed to be bitching about wanting to still be at home sleeping. You should have seen him this morning, all fidgety and nervous, but so damn happy. I couldn't figure out why, but seeing you two in the hall before class tells me all I need to know. You're going to fit in just fine here, and if you need a friend to hang out with or talk to, or study math, call me, okay?"

I'm so overwhelmed that I can't speak for a few seconds. She's so sincere, so open and honest and so sweet. I feel the corners of my eyes burn but I smile at her and say softly, "Thanks, Angela, that means a lot. As for the studying, you have a date. I'll need all the help I can get."

We make it out into the hallway and my eyes immediately search for Edward. I follow the flow, looking from left to right. I hear a few people murmur as I go past them and a few others wave and say hi. For the most part, everyone's been really nice. I mean, it's only been two hours, so it's kind of hard to tell at this point how things really will be. I start to freak a little when I still can't find Edward, but then, I smile.

His close physical presence isn't quite the same sense of him that I felt all summer when he watched me; however, the tingles and the jumbled mass of nerves is exactly the same. I'd be lying if I said I don't miss our nightly encounters. I miss them a lot, actually. I miss the feel of his eyes on me, of knowing that he watched my every move, and that I could talk to him through music, or dance, or by simply wearing a t-shirt.

"Hey, you," he says as he steps behind me, his breath warm and soft in my ear.

I can't help but sigh. My whole body feels lit up from the inside being this close to him. I've never felt this way before about anyone, ever, and sometimes it scares me how much he makes me feel. Excited and scared and nervous and needy and turned-on and a whole bunch of other stuff all at once. It's confusing and wild, but at the same time, just thinking about him makes everything else fade away into the background.

I don't know how he does it. I don't know how I'll ever be able to tell him how much he's changed my life … changed me, even before I set eyes on him, just by being the amazing person he is.

"What's wrong?" he asks as he pulls me to a stop outside of our Spanish class.

I shake my head and look down at my now very interesting feet. "It's nothing," I mumble. I don't have any idea how he hears me over the noise in the hallway, but he does.

I watch as his finger moves toward my chin. He gently lifts my head and leans forward, so close our noses almost touch. "Bella, tell me. Please?"

"I miss my mom," I blurt. It's so totally not what I meant to say, but as soon as the words are out, I know they're absolutely true.

His arms are around me in an instant and I press my forehead against his chest. God, he smells so good. I inhale the familiar scent and imagine being in my building. I have no idea where the sudden rush of emotion is coming from; one minute we're walking down the hall, and the next, I feel like I'm about to fall completely apart.

He turns us so that my back faces the wall, shielding me from prying eyes and I press myself tighter against him. "It's okay, baby," he says quietly as he nuzzles closer to my ear and the side of my neck.

The urge to go home to my mom is strong, so strong, but leaving the warmth and comfort of Edward's arms is not an option. He makes me feel secure and so very safe. I wonder if I'll ever be able to explain to him how much. He can't possibly know.

"Are you all right?" he asks when I pick my head up.

I try to turn away from him, embarrassed by my moment of weakness, but he won't let me. His hands cup my face and he holds me still as he looks at me, green eyes so bright and full of nothing but concern and I think - I hope - love for me.

"Bella, don't you dare. Remember what we said over the summer? We promised to always be honest and not hold back, so stop it. You're allowed to be sad and nervous and overwhelmed. Fuck, it's like you've been thrown out of a plane without a parachute. This, being here, is a lot. I know it is, and I guess we should have talked about what today would be like for you and I'm sorry that things have been so crazy that it seems like I don't understand. I probably don't, but please, please don't ever think you have to hide from me.

"I've watched you a long time now, you know." He grins and I can't help but smile at that very blatant understatement. "I know when you're sad or upset or happy or angry … I know you, Bella, so don't even try that shit with me. It won't work, trust me. I'm pretty tenacious when I want to be, when something's important, and you," he lowers his voice and moves closer, "are the most important thing to me, so no shutting me out, okay?"

I nod, wishing I could find the words that seem to come so easily to him, but my throat feels like it's coated in peanut butter and my tongue feels like it's at least doubled in size.

He kisses the tip of my nose and then says, "Come on, we're gonna be late."

We walk into class together, and though almost every pair of eyes is on the two of us as we find the way to our seats, I kind of don't mind so much. Still not crazy about the whispers behind hands from a some of the girls and a few murmurs from the guys, most of which I'm sure I'm better off not hearing. Edward walks toward the back of the room and points to a seat in front of him. After we sit and the same introduction and passing out of paper commences, Edward leans forward and says, "Mmmm, I could get used to this. Having you with me in class, sitting in front of me so I can whisper in your ear. My day just keeps getting better and better."

Oh holy hell.

Now there's a big puddle of Bella goo in the middle of Spanish class.

Jesus.

Throughout class, I feel Edward twist my hair around his fingers and rub my shoulder. It's very distracting. But there's not a chance in hell I'll tell him to stop. I mean, come on, could he be anymore adorable and tempting? I might be new to all this boyfriend/girlfriend business, but I'm not stupid.

The period seems to fly and by the end I can honestly say I didn't hear one word. Zilch. Zero. _Nada_. God help me if we have a pop quiz tomorrow.

Edward and I part ways again with an agreement to meet in the hall outside of the cafeteria before lunch. There are more looks, more whispers as he holds my hand. He has a free senior period and needs to go see Mr. Banner in the office while I sit through AP Biology.

Joy.

Not.

Emmett and Rose are in my class which makes me happier than I can describe. I mean, I am fully capable of being on my own and making it through, but it's nice to know I don't have to. Same introductions, same handouts … it's like the movie _Groundhog Day_.

"How are things going so far, Bella?" Emmett asks once class is done and we all stand to put our things away.

I shrug my shoulders and say, "Not too bad. I hear the whispers and I can tell everyone's staring at me, but I expected it. I'm sure it'll take a few days for the newness to wear off, then, hopefully, I can just be me and not the new girl, you know?" I smile at them when I see Emmett take Rose's hand and pull her close to his side.

They look so good together - Emmett with his dark hair, muscles and a smile that's as genuine as it is huge, and Rose with her long blonde hair, ice blue eyes and perfectly proportioned body. I know from talking to Edward that she's very fierce, loyal, and especially protective of those close to her and the fact that she welcomed me so warmly, so fully, right from the get-go makes me believe that the two of us will be very good friends. I hope so; Edward adores her and talks about her all the time.

Rose chuckles a little bit and we stop, stepping to the side to avoid the rush to the cafeteria. Apparently lunchtime at Forks High is quite the event … or maybe the food's just that good. Doubtful, but I suppose I'll find out soon enough.

"Bella, I'm sorry to tell you, sweetie, but you'll never be just you." I open my mouth to ask her what in the world she means, but she reaches out and clasps my hand in hers. "Not only have you managed to snag the most sought-after guy in our class, well, the unclaimed one anyway," she rolls her eyes when Emmett huffs beside her, "but you're gorgeous, talented, have a Major League ball player for a step-father, a mom at home that's so loved you can't bear to let go of her, and you happen to live in one of the best houses in all of Forks, second only to the Cullens'. No, babe, just you, you'll never be."

I can only stare at her wide-eyed and slack-jawed. First, at the fact that she's so blunt, but so caring at the same time, and second, that she knows so much about me.

"Edward talks about you a lot, Bella. Like a lot, a lot. It'd be sickening really if it wasn't so damned cute." She grins at me and I still haven't managed to say anything back to her.

"Fuck that, it _is_ sickening," Emmett scoffs. "You should have heard him when we went to Seattle before camp. It was a constant stream of "Bella said this," and "Bella would like that," and "I wonder what Bella would say if she saw this." I love the guy, I do, but even I wanted to kick him in the balls a few times, just to make him shut up." His eyes twinkle when he looks at me so I know he's kidding … at least for the most part.

Not gonna lie, knowing that Edward talked about me so much while he was away makes that flame of want and need ignite and spread throughout every part of my body.

"Hey, there you are," comes my favorite voice in the whole wide world. I whip around and throw my arms around him, not caring that Emmett and Rose are standing right there, not caring if anyone else sees, not caring about anything but Edward.

"Should I expect hugs like this after every class, because I think I could get very used to this." He chuckles in my ear as he lifts me off the ground and I feel his lips give me a sweet kiss on my cheek.

"Best first day of school, ever," he says when he sets me down on the ground.

I nod. "It sure is, and to think, it's only half over."

We hold hands as we walk into the cafeteria and I can't help but think that this might just be the best year ever.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**So our little couple is settling in wouldn't you say? It won't always be easy, as you can see from Bella's little freak out. Next time, how about some sweaty soccer playing boys? Bella should enjoy that don't you think? **

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	4. Hard Tackle

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own the plot. **

**Thanks so much to each and every one of you that reads, reviews, and rec's this little story. I appreciate the love and support so much and you all mean the world to me, truly you do. **

**Okay, it's boy time, who's with me? **

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**Chapter 4 - Hard Tackle**

**EPOV**

"Cullen, you ready for today?" Coach Meeks asks as I walk into the locker room.

"Heck yes." I grin, already pumped and in game mode.

He nods and crosses his arms. "Good to hear. I know this is only a scrimmage, but I want you treating this like it was a match, got me? And keep your eye out for who you want on the starting line-up and what positions you want them in. As captain, you have a lot of input, so pay attention - especially to the underclassmen. We need to make sure we give them some playing time on Varsity, so next year when you all leave me, I'm not left with my ass hanging in the wind."

I ignore the instant, and very pronounced clench of my stomach at the mention of next year. Christ, there's still so much I have to think about and decide on … but it's not going to be now. Nope, because _now_, it's game time.

"I'll see you on the field," I tell him and head toward my locker to change.

Most of the other guys are already dressed, so I hurry to catch up. When I sit on the bench to put my cleats on, Jasper jabs my side with his elbow. "So, you ready?"

I raise my eyebrows. "What the hell? Why wouldn't I be? It's just a scrimmage, Jas … no biggie."

I bend over to tie my cleats and look up at him when he snorts. "That's not what I meant, dude. Bella's coming, isn't she?"

Ah …

Yep, now cue the twisty turny thing that only happens when I think about Bella.

Fuck.

"Thanks for reminding me, dipshit." I growl.

It's not like I'd forget anyway because it's pretty much all I've thought about all day. All week really, since Coach mentioned the scrimmage on Monday after practice and Bella and I talked about it that night on the phone. This entire first week at school has been nothing short of incredible. Even with all the comments and stares, getting to see Bella everyday, being able to touch her and kiss her and hold her hand, has been everything I thought it would be and more.

She's been amazing. I know it hasn't been easy for her. Not at all. No matter how much she smiles and tries to make everyone else think otherwise, I know better. Oh, she's enjoying meeting everyone and dare I say, she really likes being with me as much as I do her, but that doesn't mean that everything is hunky-dory. I see it. I can tell when she sort of curls in on herself and shuts down. There's a look that passes over her face; it's sort of blank with her eyes pinched and a dip between her eyebrows, and usually it's accompanied by her bottom lip firmly in place between her teeth. Sometimes it only lasts a few seconds, sometimes it's an entire class period, but then it's gone again.

I feel the bench shake and look to my right. "Seriously, man, what the hell is the deal between you and the very fine Miss Swan? One minute you're single and fighting off Heidi at your birthday, and the next you're attached at the lips to the hottest girl, besides Rosalie Hale, to ever grace the halls of Forks High. What gives?" Garrett asks with a shit-eating grin on his face.

The locker room suddenly gets very quiet and feels incredibly stuffy. Sweaty shin guards, at least four different kinds of Axe, and the lingering scent of bleach mixes with the dank, musty smell of the showers, making it hard to breathe. It may also be the fact that everyone is staring at me.

Motherfucker.

Bella and I talked about this after the first day of school … which I still think she handled like a champ. She disagrees, of course, because she's stubborn and is way too hard on herself - a trait of hers I'm going to change if it kills me. But when we talked on the phone that night, we agreed to keep the details as vague as possible, but still get the point across. Jasper, Emmett, Alice, and Rose knowing exactly what went down is one thing, sharing the particulars with anyone else kind of makes me sick to my stomach. There is no way I'm listening to anyone cheapen what Bella and I shared this summer. I'll kill the first fucker that starts talking shit.

In a heartbeat.

"We met, we clicked, we talked, and got to know each other; now we're together. What's so hard to figure out?" I ask nonchalantly as I stand up.

"How did you meet?"

"Where did you meet?"

"Where was she when we partied for your birthday?"

"Why haven't you said anything?"

"Why didn't we meet her before school started?"

"Did you tap that?"

"Is she any good?"

The questions come flying from all sides, not just from Garrett. Alec, Mike, Eric, and Tyler all chime in and I can't help but feel cornered like a girl in a dark alleyway being stalked by a gang of drunken thugs.

I clench my fingers, making tight fists, so tight that I can feel my fingernails gouging the skin of my palms. Breathing deeply, I try to calm the churning in my stomach and the overwhelming, irrational need to lash out. These are my friends - assholes some of them - but friends nonetheless. I've known them most of my life and frankly, honestly, I'd be worried if they weren't giving me shit … but this is Bella they're talking about.

_My Bella._

Drummer Girl.

Alec chuckles before he throws an arm around Tyler's shoulders. He lifts his chin as he glances at me and says, "Looks like there's already trouble in paradise. Maybe I'll see if the delectable Bella wants to kick it tonight … go to First Beach and take a walk, just the two of us, with nothing but the moon and the stars to keep us company. Or hell, maybe I'll drop by her house. From what I hear, she's all alone except for some nanny kind of person and a mom that's knocking on death's door. I'm sure she could use the company …"

Before he can utter one more disgusting word, we're nose to nose and I'm breathing fire.

"Stay the fuck away from Bella," I say through teeth clenched so hard that my head throbs. My entire body is vibrating, like a powder keg just waiting for the tiniest spark so that it can explode.

Jasper and Emmett close in beside me, probably to keep me from trying to kill the motherfucking asshat. I want to, fuck do I want to, but I force myself to relax my shoulders infinitesimally. It's enough for the red that blurred my vision just a moment ago to fade away.

"Whoa, man." Alec smirks, looking half afraid and half pissed at the same time. "I was just kidding. Jesus, Cullen." He looks at me like I've lost my damn mind, and for second there, I did.

Fuck.

"What the hell's going on in here? Are you boys having a tea party I didn't get invited to, or do you think you can move your butts out to the field so we can play some soccer?" Coach barks as he storms into the locker room.

"Sorry, Coach, guess your invitation got lost in the mail," Emmett quips and the tension that's filled the air dissipates instantly when everyone laughs.

"Funny, McCarty, real funny. Now move it, all of you, before I decide to make you run bleachers."

We grab our bags and follow Emmett and Coach out of the locker room and toward the field.

"My friend, you are so fucked." Jasper chuckles under his breath as he falls in step beside me.

I glower at him, but when he wiggles his eyebrows, I can't help but let the corners of my mouth lift in the semblance of a smile. "Christ, Jas, I've never experienced anything like that. What the fuck's the matter with me?"

"Ahhh, young grasshopper." He laughs. "You two have been in your little Edward and Bella bubble for three months, and now, you're both out in the big, bad world where douchebags like Alec reside. Get used to it. Bella's the shiny new toy and everyone wants to play with her. It's only natural. I mean shit, when's the last time someone new moved to Forks? When Brandon Jenkins came to town when we were freshmen? And he's not half as mysterious or special as Bella." He laughs even louder when I growl at him.

"Don't let Ali hear you call another girl special, Jasper, or you'll be in trouble." I huff, annoyed that he can be so rational while I feel like I'm going crazy.

"Shut the fuck up," he says as he shakes his head at me, totally unfazed by my trying to turn the tables on him. "You know Alec didn't mean anything; he's harmless. A fuckwit, but harmless. No one's ever seen you all ga-ga over a girl before, so it's big news. Top it off with a girl, a beautiful one no less, that's pretty much popped up out of nowhere as far as most of them are concerned, and you've got yourself the juiciest bit of news since Mrs. Stanley was caught with the lawn guy last summer."

"Damn," I mutter, knowing he's right, as I drop my bag down on the ground. I start to stretch a bit, feeling the pull and the burn as I move my body.

I bend over and reach toward the ground, letting my muscles loosen. When I stand back up, the most intense, delicious, and frankly dick-stirring sensation fills me.

Bella.

I twist and look up. Sure enough, there she is. Sitting about halfway up the bleachers looking as gorgeous and hot as can be. God, she's something else. The day's been warm and bright and I can see the sunlight bounce off her hair. Streaks of crimson mix with mahogany and my fingers twitch. I want to feel it. I know how soft and silky those strands are, seeing as they're constantly wound around the tips of my fingers every day in Spanish.

It's a wonder I squeaked by to pass my first test. I don't think I've heard one word Señora Guzman has spoken all week. Thank goodness a few of the guys on our Premier League team are Hispanic and speak Spanish. Of course most of the words they've taught us are the curse words, but they've managed to teach us all a few other things as well.

I can't take my eyes off her and when I see her laugh at something Alice says, the twisty turny thing comes out in full force.

Christ, I love her.

Like hard core, no holds barred, I'll take a motherfucker out if they get in my way, love her.

Sometimes what I feel for her is intense and overpowering, but it's also gentle and soothing, like flannel sheets in the middle of winter. I want her, always, but I want to comfort her, help her, be there for her … love her even more. She's been so fucking amazing this week. Joking around with Emmett, most of the time at my expense. Getting to know Angela. Spending time talking cars with Rose, or history with Jasper at lunch. Chatting about dance with Alice as we walk from class to class … she's blown me away by how strong she is.

Every damn day, there's always something she does or says that takes my breath away. Whether it's seeing her smile, or hearing her laugh … or especially when she sighs all breathless and sexy-like when I kiss her, it makes me realize how crazy I am about her and how much was missing in my life before I stumbled across her in the woods.

She must feel my eyes on her because she turns from Alice with the most incredible smile and gives me a little wave.

If I didn't think I'd make a total pussy out of myself I'd blow her a kiss, but settle for a wink and manly chin lift.

I'm such a fool for her, it's not even funny.

"You are one lucky bastard, Cullen. If you fuck things up with her, I'll kick your ass then swoop in and take your place before she even has time to miss you," Alec says as he walks up beside me.

Bella laughs at Alice again and then looks my direction one more time. I can see her eyes sparkle, even from here, and I shake my head and face Alec. "Keep dreaming, Walker. There's no way in hell you'll ever get the chance."

"Like I said, Cullen," he grins as we head toward the middle of the field to listen to Coach, "you're a lucky bastard."

I look over my shoulder at Bella one last time and think about what I want to ask her after practice.

"Don't I know it," I murmur before sliding my captain's band on my arm and taking my place in the center beside Emmett.

I can't wait to see Bella when we're done. Tonight could be a very good night.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**I know, I know, no sweaty boys, but you'll see that through Bella's eyes next time, but holy cow, how about our boy getting all up in Alec's face? I think our Creeper is in need of some TLC from his Drummer Girl wouldn't you say? Especially after getting all hot and sweaty playing soccer … hmmm … wonder what that question is that Edward wants to ask Bella? **

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	5. Finding A Groove

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own the plot. **

**HUGE thank you to my team: Laurel, J'me, bornonhalloween, and robsmyyummycabanaboy … this one was a mess and very last minute. They were a huge help in getting this to you all on time! **

**Thanks for all the love and support, I can't begin to tell you how much it means. I'm not able to do review replies like I wish I could, but please know I read and appreciate each one. **

**Now, it's time for some soccer, you ready? **

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**Chapter 5 - Finding a Groove**

**BPOV**

Oh thank you to all things holy.

Whew.

I think I need a cold shower or at the very least a towel to wipe up the drool as I stare, unabashedly and practically panting, at Edward while he walks toward the bench on the sideline of the field. All legs, arms, and a back that even beneath his gray Forks High t-shirt ripples every time he moves. What I wouldn't give to have this be a shirts versus skins game. I wonder if I can suggest that to his coach, because really, I could guarantee that the support for the boys soccer team would fly through the roof if he agreed.

But then again, I don't think I'd much like everyone ogling my guy. Actually, there's no think about it - I'd hate it with the fire of a thousand suns.

Hmmm … seems like I'm a tad possessive about Creeper.

I'm pretty sure he won't mind so much.

"Tongue back in your mouth, Bella. You might not like what lands on it if you leave it sticking out." Alice giggles as she drops down beside me.

"I'm just … that's … wow," are the only words that I'm able to articulate … and not very coherently at that.

She giggles again and wiggles her eyebrows, looking ridiculous and cute at the same time. "Tell me about it. And the football players wonder why at their games the stands are only half full, and the soccer games are standing room only." Her hands lift, palms up, moving slightly up and down. "No contest, guys in shorts, sweaty hair, and shirts stuck to their chests, or guys covered up in pads and a helmet?" She lowers the football hand as if invisibly weighing one against the other. Like her, I agree there's no contest. At all.

Not even close.

I keep staring. I can't take my eyes off Edward and my gaze is so heated he must feel it. My breath leaves in one huge whoosh when he turns and looks in my direction. He's so beautiful, handsome, sexy - hot as hell - take your pick. He's all that and so much more. Perfect and talented and athletic - a veritable walking, talking, breathing, jumble of every adjective imaginable.

The most important one being … _mine_.

Because he so is.

So, so much mine.

"Nice, Bella," Alice says under her breath and I laugh at the proud tone of her voice.

Not that I'm doing anything but gawking at my very hot boyfriend and appreciating the surrounding scenery. Edward winks and gives me the same kind of chin lift that guys forever think is cool. Can't lie, on him it totally is, but then again, the boy could very probably start singing Celine Dion songs at the top of his lungs and no one would bat an eye. Well, Emmett would, and then he'd join in the singing.

I watch as he and Alec say a few words back and forth. From Edward's body language, I get the feeling that whatever they're talking about has to do with me, mostly because Edward keeps glancing in my direction. He's not mad, that I can tell. He looks focused, sure, but relaxed and totally in his element. His eyes though, I can feel them all the way from where he's standing. Scorching and penetrating … familiar … and my body reacts immediately.

Warm and tingly, the fine hairs on my arms stand on end. My hands flutter about like they've all of a sudden ceased functioning properly and my brain fizzles and sputters as it tries to make sense of anything, which is next to impossible when Edward looks at me the way he does. Like he can see every part of me, even the parts I try to hide from him.

"I've never seen Edward act the way he does when he's around you," Alice says while we watch the guys move toward the center of the field.

I turn toward her, anxious all of a sudden. Alice has known Edward forever. What if she doesn't like what she sees now? What if she doesn't like me for Edward? So far this week, she's been nothing short of a constant ball of energy, full of smiles and encouraging words. I don't think she means anything bad by what she's said, but I still stammer when I ask, "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

She snorts; it's dainty and cute, and totally Alice. Her gray eyes dance and her smile is honest and genuine.

"It's a good thing, you big goof." She laughs. "It's an excellent thing. Edward's always been so controlled, so careful. Sure, we've seen him," she waves her hand around and I know she means herself, Rose, Em, Jasper, and more than likely Ben and Angela, too, "act silly and crazy, but at school he's always kept a wall up. Now, the boy glides through the halls like he's walking on water, practically skipping and jumping. I'm surprised he doesn't cartwheel from class to class. No, it's definitely a good thing to see him so happy. And he's that way because of you."

Wow.

I didn't realize how much I needed to hear all that until she says it and I'm so happy to know she feels that way. Edward's very close to his parents, but his friends mean the world to him. I've always known that, from the very first time he mentioned them; it's easy to see how tight-knit they all are. To know, to really, truly _know_ that his friends are okay with me being in his life, well, it's good to hear.

Really, really good.

A whistle sounds and the guys start moving around the field. I'm mesmerized and I can't take my eyes off Edward as he morphs into Soccerward. Gone is the Edward with the slight smirk on his face, relaxed posture, and playful tilt of his head. In his place is one who stands tall, demands attention, and radiates confidence, if not outright cockiness.

He's almost too much to look at. His shorts hang low on his hips, but as he moves, they cling to his thighs. His very defined, very muscular thighs. Calf muscles pop and flex, and when he jumps up and down in place, releasing that last bit of pent-up energy so he can focus, it does funny things to my girly parts.

_Nice_ funny things, mind you.

Tingly, fluttery things, as a matter of fact.

Alice is talking to me, but honestly, I can't concentrate on a word she says. My eyes are glued to Edward. The whistle blows and I feel every muscle in my body tighten in nervous anticipation. A few minutes into the game, it's obvious that he's the best player on the field. By far. His command of the players on his team, the way he's always finding a weak spot to exploit, how he moves instinctually, it's something to see.

"Jas, behind you. Garrett, watch for the through ball," he hollers as the other team sets up for a throw-in.

Even from the stands, I can hear the grunts as bodies crash into bodies. Anyone who says soccer's not a physical sport must have never watched a game. Elbows jabbing into sides, heels clipped, shins crashing against shins, a cleat to a thigh, heads bumping against another, it's never ending. He runs. He passes. He and Jasper work in perfect sync, each knowing where the ball's going to go without even having to look at it. Edward directs the offense with the precision of a general on the battlefield. With a point of a finger or a tip of his head, his team moves as one. It's a beautiful thing to watch … and this is just a scrimmage - practice for God's sake! I can't even imagine what it'll be like to watch him in a real game setting. It feels like only minutes have passed, but then before I know it, the coach has blown his whistle indicating halftime.

"Holy mother," I say as I exhale.

"Yep, you said it," Alice says, then giggles.

The 'I can't feel my ass' tingles are out in full force and I wiggle back and forth, from one half asleep buttcheek to the other. Apparently I was so spellbound for the last forty minutes that I forgot to move. I lift my arms over my head to try to get some feeling back into my extremities. From my fingers to my toes, my entire body feels like thousands of tiny needles are pricking me over and over as blood begins to flow again. I close my eyes and let my head fall forward, thoroughly enjoying the way the sun feels beating down on me. A few beads of sweat slither down my back and it makes me shiver. I lift my head and my eyes immediately find Edward.

He looks up and smiles. He, Jasper, and the coach are talking, animatedly from the way Edward's hands are waving in the air. It's impressive to see him in his element, and there's no doubt the boy was made to play soccer. His joy is evident in every move he makes while on the field and I love the way his eyes light up with passion and fire.

"Gah, would you look at him? He's so freakin' hot," comes a squeaky, grating voice from behind us.

"I know it. Those legs and that hair, it's so sexy. I can't wait to see him at the party tonight. You know things always get out of control at Mike's. Edward hasn't been to a party since the one at his house for his birthday, remember? He was so trashed, and girl, you were all over him." The pathetic wench beside her laughs.

Ugh, Heidi and Bree. They've been making comments all week in that annoying 'let's whisper just loud enough so that someone - me - will hear' kind of way, rolling their eyes and giving each other those kinds of looks whenever I'm around. I know they've been hoping for some sort of, I don't know, breakdown or cat fight … _something_, but if they think I'm some shrinking violet who's going to cower in the corner, they've got another damn thing coming. I know how Edward feels about me. The way he talks to me, looks at me, and touches me - I _know_.

I didn't know about Mike's party, though. Well, I heard people talking about it at lunch, but Edward never mentioned going. I was actually kind of hoping … really hoping, that we could have some time alone tonight. I want to play. I want him to watch me play, and I just want to be with him, away from everyone and everything else.

"Well, only a few hours and I'm sure you'll be able to get your freak on … again."

I snort, loudly, totally not caring that I sound like some sort of overgrown bullfrog. Alice huffs and whips her head around, eyes blazing and ready to rip the two to shreds, but I shake my head, just enough, so she keeps her mouth closed. I appreciate her wanting to jump to my defense, but I'm more than capable of fighting my own battles, thanks very much.

"Something to say Alice? Bella?" Heidi asks in a sing-song voice that's as fake as a porn star's boobs.

I plaster my own fake smile on my face and slowly turn around. Inside I'm boiling mad, but I'll be damned if I let them know it.

"I know all about Edward's birthday and the fact that he turned you down, flat," I bite sharply when I stare at Heidi. "You may not have known about me, but I heard _all_ about you, so don't try insinuating shit just to start trouble because it's not going to work."

Both of them look like they've sucked on a lemon, sputtering and staring at me with huge eyes. Heidi composes herself quickly though, and says icily as she stands up, "Yeah, well we'll see what's what when he's at the party tonight and you're sitting at home, alone, babysitting your mom." Her eyes flash at Bree and then the two of the scamper off to God knows where, twittering about what to wear tonight.

That. Bitch. I breathe in and out a few times, more angry than I've been in a long damn time. Going after me to make me doubt Edward is one thing, but to be so heartless as to bring up my mom is another thing altogether.

"You know Edward's not going, right? At least not without you," Alice says quietly beside me.

I nod, not really sure how I feel about it. On one hand, honestly, I don't want him to go, I want him to spend time with me, and then on the other, I feel horribly guilty for feeling that way. He knows I can't go out, or more that I don't want to leave Mom when I don't have to, but that doesn't mean he has to stay home just because I'm going to. This has been such a long week, full of stress and worry as well as excitement and happiness, and frankly, I need some time to decompress from it all.

I love being able to see him every day. To be able to watch his eyes dance when he and Emmett joke around between classes, or to hear him and Alice nag at each other, and to feel his fingers running through my hair during Spanish class. It's been an amazing week, and at the end of every day I spend a few hours sitting with Mom telling her about all that's happening as well as to just be quiet and think about everything.

There's a lot to think about.

I felt like I knew Edward before school started. We shared so much, talked about things that we haven't told anyone else - became best friends as well as boyfriend and girlfriend - just through our words; but seeing him, hearing him … watching him be the person he is, is about the best thing ever. But every day there's something new I learn about him, tiny things really, but they're the things that make him my Creeper. He chews on the end of his pen. In Spanish he hums the Beatles, but in English it's the Foo Fighters. At lunch he sits on my left side, but when we walk in the hallway, he's on my right. He has the horrible habit of cracking his knuckles. When he talks about his parents he smiles a lot, but when he talks about soccer his whole face lights up. At night, when we're on the phone and it's time to say goodbye, the very last thing he says, right before he hangs up is, "I love you." He never waits to hear it back, if I want to tell him, I'd best be sure to do it before then, because without fail, he's disconnecting the call before the 'you' barely has time to make it out of his mouth. When I asked him why after the first time he did it, he shrugged and said, simply, that he wanted those words to be the last thing I heard before going to sleep.

Not gonna lie, hearing that made me want to push him to the ground and do lots of the tingly, fluttery things that keep me company in my dreams most nights.

All of which leads me to really, really, wanting him to come over tonight. I miss our nights - secret and ours alone. I miss his words in our notebooks … I miss him. Creeper. I see Edward every day and it's great and wonderful, but I miss our strange yet intimate late night encounters.

"You okay?" Alice asks when I've been silent for a while.

"Yeah," I tell her, because I am.

How could I not be?

I focus again on the game and even though it's only a practice and they aren't really keeping score or anything, Edward's intensity is palpable. I've played, I've watched matches on TV and have seen a few games in person with Phil and my mom, so I know the final minutes of the game are the nail biters. There's pushing and shoving, grunting and yelling. Edward's eyes don't stop tracking the ball. Goosebumps cover my skin because watching him as he and Jasper run and pivot and pass and dribble, working together, is like the most intricate ballet. I hold my breath when Edward steals the ball from Alec and begins running up the field, eyes fixed on the goal … his target. The defense moves with him, covering, blocking, so his only choice is to pass the ball to Jasper on the wing. He plants his foot, then swivels right, avoiding Tyler and his elbow, and lays off the perfect pass to Jasper. He jockeys around Tyler, arms and elbows flailing about, but he's finally able to find a free spot. Almost as if it were scripted, Jasper chips the ball from the side to the front of the goal where Edward deftly, fluidly, bounces the ball off his chest, to his feet, where he uses one smooth motion to kick the ball into the corner of the net.

His teammates surround him, giving high-fives and slaps on the back … and me, I'm just in awe.

He's so talented, so good. It's almost heartbreaking the amount of skill he possesses. He's at home on a soccer field; it's obvious to anyone who watches him. It's what he was born to do.

My eyes are glued to him, especially when he lifts the bottom of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face, leaving his very toned stomach exposed to drool over. And drool I do. I lick my lips as he turns just a bit to the side, giving me the perfect view of his hips and abs. Jesus, is he ever something to look at.

The coach brings all the boys together once the game is over. After a few words, the guys disperse, some head straight for the locker rooms, some sit on the bench, and the rest sort of mingle and talk. I see Edward pull out his phone and about thirty seconds later my phone beeps with a text.

_"Wait for me," _is all it says, but the three words are enough to make my heart beat a little faster and for me to hurry the hell up and walk to my truck. I tell Alice goodbye and promise to at least text over the weekend once I have an idea of what my plans might be … besides some writing, playing, baking, visiting with Mom and spending as much quality time with Edward as I can.

An entire weekend's worth sounds like a mighty fine idea if you ask me.

I rush to my truck, pressing the key fob to unlock the door. My backpack gets slung inside, a bit too hard due to the butterflies about seeing Edward in a few minutes, and falls onto the floor in front of the passenger seat. I climb inside the Escalade and lean over to pick it up then gasp when two hands grab me by the waist and pull me almost out the door. Edward.

My eyes widen, but before I can do anything other than squeak, he's turned me sideways. One hand stays on my hip and the other slides into my hair as he cups the back of my head. His lips press against mine, hard, almost desperate, and it feels so good. So, so good. There's a tongue in my mouth, and it's warm, possessive. I like it. My fingers plunge in his damp hair and I don't even mind that he's covered in sweat. He smells fucking incredible - salty and spicy and all things Edward.

His breathing is erratic, heavy, like he ran all the way from the field to the parking lot at a dead sprint. He scoots closer, as close as he can get, but it's perfect because my chest is pressed against his and I can feel how hard and fast his heart's beating. Just like mine.

God, I want him.

I want him to kiss me and touch me and make me feel things that set my body on fire and like I'm falling apart right before his eyes.

"So fucking good." He groans as his lips slide from my mouth to the side of my neck. "I've been thinking about kissing you all damn day, Bella."

"Oh, aah." I moan when his tongue flicks my earlobe. I feel his teeth scrape the sensitive skin and all it does is make me roll my hips against him and press myself even closer to him.

He swirls his tongue around that spot, _the_ spot … the little dip where my shoulder meets my neck, and I groan. Loudly. "Jesus, Edward." I pant.

Everything … thinking about him, watching him play, hearing those girls talk about him … all of it and so much more has me going completely out of my mind. I open my mouth to say something, which is pretty damn hard considering all the things he's doing with his tongue, but he starts talking first.

"Bella," he says in a rough voice. He's breathing hard, chest heaving and when I pick my head up to look at him, his eyes are so damn bright. "Can I come over tonight? Please? I miss you … I need you."

"What about the party?"

He growls and wedges himself even more between my legs. "Fuck the party, baby. I've had to share you all week. I don't need or want to spend time with anyone but you."

His words are perfect. He's perfect. "Yes, God, yes," I answer. I pull myself up and wrap my arms around his neck. His hands splay across my back, holding me to him and it feels so good.

"Same time as before, okay? Sooner if my parents go to bed early. I'll text when I'm on my way."

I nod, clinging to him for a few, very short minutes. Not long enough at all.

He kisses my lips one more time, then my cheeks, then the tip of my nose. "I'll see you afterwhile. I can't wait to have you all to myself."

Saying goodbye takes a few more minutes because neither of us want to let the other go, even if we'll be back together in a few hours. When he finally pulls away, closing my door and giving me a sexy wink, all I can think about is tonight.

I smile to myself as I watch him walk away - a very nice sight to behold.

Tonight he won't have to watch from the trees.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**So, Bella likes to watch Edward as much he likes to watch her. Did you expect it to be any different? Finally, some alone time for our couple next time. I think they need it, don't you? **

**Sorry I didn't get to any pic teases, but hopefully that will change soon. Keep checking the blog and the FB page; you'll see them there if we can get them up. **

**Thanks again for reading. I love hearing from you guys. Your words fuel my words, they really do. **

**See you Thursday! **


	6. Extra Time

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own the plot. **

**You know what I know? I have, without a doubt, the best readers … EVER! You guys … you guys … just thank you so much for all the love and support every chapter, every week, every day. It's truly humbling and your words mean more than I can tell you. I hope I say it often enough, but in case I don't, just thank you. **

**Okay, lovelies, we're getting back to Creeper and his Drummer Girl this time … *sigh* I've missed them. **

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**Chapter 6 - Extra Time**

**EPOV**

_Hey, Baby, _

_It's been way too long since I've done this. I'm so sorry. Ever since the night before the first day of school, things feel like they've been on warp speed, even before that, if you want to know the truth. It seems like from the time I left for camp, the days have just flown by. _

_I've missed this, talking to you this way … our way. It's part of what makes us - __us__. I can't even begin to tell you what this week's been like with you. From the moment we first saw each other, and God damn those few seconds are always playing on a continuous loop in the back of my mind, to kissing you this afternoon in the parking lot after the scrimmage, the entire week's been full of moments I don't ever want to forget. _

_We talk every night on the phone. We talk before school, during school, and after school, and I love it. I love being able to see you roll your eyes when I annoy you, or the way the end of your nose scrunches up when you laugh. I really love the way you blush when I whisper in your ear, but writing to you, in our notebooks, makes me feel so close to you. It's not like I'd ever tell you something here I wouldn't tell you face to face. That's not it at all. You're my girlfriend, my best friend, and I want to share everything with you, but __this__ is just different, you know? _

_I ask you every night, and more times than I can count during the day, though I have a feeling from the way you huff at me you know exactly how many times it is, but how are you? Really? You amaze me, every single day, with how strong you are. You do. I know it hasn't been easy. I can tell when you feel overwhelmed and you just want to run home and sit with your mom, but you've done so fucking well. You know that, right? I'm so proud of you. Is that stupid to say? I don't think so. I hope not. But I am. _

_Seeing you with my friends does something to me, Bella. I don't even know if I can explain it. I've always been close to them, and never once felt out of place or anything like that, but having you, with me at school, just feels better. Perfect. Like something was missing and now it's not anymore because you're there. God, I sound like one those dudes in the books you like to read, don't I? Shit. But, I do mean it, even if it makes me sound like a pussy to say it. _

_I can't wait to see you tonight - just a few more hours now. I had a dream one time, right after I left you the drumsticks, about what it would be like to be with you, inside our building. Not be with you, be with you, though it was a really hot dream, but mostly I dreamed about how it would feel to sit close to you and watch you play, and spend time in the space that means so much to you. I know technically it's yours, but I can't help but feel that it's kinda mine now, too. You'll share with me, won't you, baby? _

_I love you, Bella. I could tell you a million and one times and I'd never get tired of saying it and I hope you won't ever get tired of hearing it … because I plan on saying it for a really long fucking time. _

_I'll see you soon. You are going to wear a shirt just for me, aren't you? God, I can't fucking wait to see what it is! _

_Edward _

I smile as I close the notebook and glance at the clock. Shit. Still more than two hours to go. I can't wait to see her, hear her play. That reminds me and I flip the notebook open again.

_P.S. - btw … you haven't forgotten about my song, have you, because I damn sure haven't. I want it, baby. I want it badly. God, that sounded dirty didn't it? Well, just so you know, I want that, too. _

Another look at the clock and I have to laugh at my idiotic self.

_P.P.S. - why the hell are we waiting until God-awful 2 fucking A.M. for me to come over? As soon as my parents are asleep, I'm outta here. _

I fling the notebook beside me and flop down on my bed, listening intently for any noises to come from my parents. It's almost midnight for fuck's sake; shouldn't they be in bed already? And what the hell was I thinking telling Bella we'd wait 'til our 'normal' time? I could have so easily told my parents I was going to the party and gone over to her house instead, come home, and then gone back out again … double the time with her. Total win. However, I knew I wanted to write her a letter, and I know my girl - she needed some time with her mom.

"Edward," Mom says as she knocks and then pushes the door open. "We're going to bed. Don't forget, Dad and I have to run to Port Angeles in the morning, so we'll be home after lunch. Do you have anything going on tomorrow?"

I look at her from my bed, hoping she can't see that I'm wide awake and not ready to go to sleep in the least. "Nah, not really. I'll probably go run, then maybe do some practicing with Em and Jas in the afternoon. Not sure what the plan is for tomorrow night yet."

"Well, call me if you need anything while we're out and I'll see you when we get home tomorrow. Night, sweetie."

"Night, Mom. Love you."

The door's not even closed and I'm off the bed like my ass is on fire. I showered when I got home from practice because I was a gross sweaty mess, so all I have to do now is brush my teeth, run my fingers through my hair, and spray on some cologne. Yeah, this time, it's most definitely a date. Not my idea of a first 'real' date, but for us, it's perfect. I'm not sure when Bella will be ready for me to take her out, but I'll wait as long as it takes. Introducing her to my parents as my girlfriend probably needs to happen first though. The sooner the better. I want them to meet her and see how important she is to me.

I pace for a few minutes, thinking about what the night will be like … and what I want, and hope, to happen. I'd be a fool to try to deny that I'm wishing for some contact, of the up close and personal variety. All week she's been driving me crazy. Tight jeans that show her perfect ass. Tiny shirts that mold to her tits, and holy mother of God, a short skirt yesterday that made her legs look a mile long and kept me hard all fucking day because all I could think about was having them wrapped around my waist as I threw her down on her loveseat. So yeah, some hand to silky soft sugar cookie-scented skin is definitely on my agenda tonight; I can only hope it's on hers.

Our short, but highly enjoyable, make-out session in her SUV after the scrimmage did nothing but make me want her even more. I didn't think it was possible. I look down, yep, hard as a fucking rock, so apparently it's possible as all get-out.

Thirty minutes have gone by without a sound from my parents' room and I can't wait any longer. I'm down the stairs and out the sliding glass door in no time flat and as soon as I enter the woods and my feet find the familiar trail, I pull out my phone.

_On my way, be there in 20_

Her response is immediate.

_I'll be waiting_

Fuck, does that ever sound good, and my mind immediately conjures all the ways she could be waiting for me. Standing sweetly with her hands behind her back right inside the door. Sitting on her stool, fingers already spinning her drumsticks, poised to play for me … laid out on her loveseat, hair fanned beneath her head, ready and waiting for me. Okay, that last one's not likely … but hey, I can dream.

I shake my head at my idiotic thoughts, and force my legs to move faster. I've traveled this path so many times my feet know exactly where to step, where the ground is flat, and where the terrain is a bit rougher and I need to pay attention. It would suck monkey balls to trip, mess up my knee or ankle … and miss a chance to be alone with Bella.

My phone vibrates again.

_Hurry_

My girl asks, my girl gets.

I push my legs to move faster, ignoring the few twinges and aches lingering from the game. Alec gave me a good knee to my thigh, most likely retaliation for getting in his face like I did. I'm good with that; I'd expect no less. He did apologize for the comment about Bella's mom, though, just like I knew he would. Guys may be clueless dicks sometimes, but saying something like that was low, even for a jackass like Alec. He's lucky I didn't lay his ass out. Like I told Jasper, the way I reacted, what I felt when it seemed like Bella was being threatened, or at least my relationship with her was being challenged, was like nothing I've ever experienced before. My only thought was _over my dead fucking body_.

Honestly, the way I went from calm to more pissed-off than I can ever remember being in the blink of an eye freaked me out a little bit. I'm normally pretty cool and collected, even on the soccer field. Sure, I lose my temper from time to time, and yes, I get pissed-off and want to hit someone or something, but I've never just wanted to beat the ever-living shit out of a person like that. And the worst thing was, I knew Alec was kidding ... well mostly. Bella's hot as hell, so I have no doubt there was some truth buried beneath the crass and pretty lame attempt to get a rise out of me. If I'd been thinking clearly, I would have just given him a smart ass smirk and told him even on his best day he couldn't take Bella away from me.

I know how she feels about me, and me about her, so I know there's no chance, at all, of us not being together, but the thought of being without her makes my blood run cold. I can't, I won't, be without her now. Just - no.

Thankfully, the glow from Bella's building focuses me on the here and now … and the fact that she's waiting for me.

Holy shit.

I pause beside the tree that I spent so much time watching her from and my index finger finds the groove I rubbed into it. The ground around the tree is trampled down, though because it's been so long since I've been here, new growth mixes with the old. My heart's beating about a hundred miles an hour and the twisty turny thing is having an all out party in my stomach, complete with noisemakers and confetti.

Jesus.

So many memories rush through my mind and I have to lean my head against the tree to calm myself down. The first time I saw her. The way I hurt for her when she danced and was obviously in pain. The first letter, the first smile, the first swivel of her sexy ass to tease me. Creeper. Drummer Girl. A pen. Heartbreak and grief. Sugar cookies. Her words, her touch … her voice after dreaming about it for so long.

Image after image, a kaleidoscope I can barely keep up with. But I feel, God do I feel. All of it, everything. The excitement and frustration. The pull, the want. The need and the happiness. The fear and the hope. Warmth and twists and turns.

Love.

And with that, I'm running. To Bella. _My Bella_. I don't even worry about being seen; all I care about is getting to her.

My feet skid to a stop the second I see her. I try to catch my breath, the familiar, mouthwatering scent of peppermint and sugar cookies hangs sweet and heavy in the air. Bella. Here. Waiting for me. Standing with her back to me facing the bench behind her drum set. Long mahogany hair loose around her shoulders. My fingers immediately twitch with the need to feel the strands wrapped around them. White t-shirt, tight and showing her curves. Tiny black shorts that cup her ass. So round and perfect. Long legs that are toned and make my dick stand at attention and want to salute for being so fucking hot.

And fuck me … bare feet.

Christ, she's trying to kill me.

"Took you long enough." She turns around and grins, sexy and slow.

Yep. She's definitely going to kill me.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**I know, I know, I'm a big meanie, but really, they needed this, to get back to what makes them … them. Sexy times are next, promise, promise, so don't be too mad at me, okay? **

**Things are going to be moving ahead for our Edward and Bella, and not just **_**that**_** way, either. I'm excited to get them there, hope you'll stick with me. **

**Keep checking the blog and the FB page. I'll be posting some information for y'all soon. **

**Okay, I'm out 'til Monday. Thanks for reading, for loving, and for being all around amazing! **

**Erin~**


	7. Encroachment

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own the plot. **

**I know you want to get to it, so I won't keep you but to say thank you, as ever and always for all the love and support. Without you all, there'd be no Creeper or his Drummer Girl. **

**Let's get to it … this baby's 5000 words - I hope you enjoy every one of them! **

_And fuck me ... bare feet._

_Christ she's trying to kill me._

_"Took you long enough." She turns around and grins, sexy and slow._

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**Chapter 7 - Encroachment**

**EPOV**

"Bella."

I hear myself say her name, but I _feel _the way it sounds more than anything.

My heart flies. My legs go weak, like they do when Coach makes us run bleachers … after practice. The smile on my face must rival The Joker's - the Jack Nicholson one, not the Heath Ledger version - because my face actually hurts from smiling so big.

But mostly, I feel her … sizzling, crackling; the air around us is positively alive with energy. Our energy, whatever weird, 'can't be normal' thing that happens when we're together. I feel it at school and when I walk her to her car, but it's nothing, fucking nothing, like it feels here … in our place.

I toss her notebook on the loveseat and walk past it. I hear the pages flutter as it flies through the air, but I don't stop until I'm close enough that my hands can reach out and touch her. One hand slides into her hair, the other flat across her ass, and I pull, hard, toward me.

"Oh, Jesus Christ." I groan when she rubs against my straining cock.

I wanted the first time we spent together inside our building to be special, but holy hell, the only thing I can think of is skin and touching, and tongues and kissing, and touching some more … lots and lots of touching.

My lips fuse to hers and I plunge my tongue into her mouth. Somehow she squeaks and whimpers at the same time and it's the hottest thing I've ever heard. We've kissed enough this week so that I know she tilts to my right and she knows I'll lean to the left. Her fingers twist my t-shirt into a wrinkled mess. I don't give a damn. She can rip the thing off me for all I care.

She uses my shirt as leverage to get closer, but it's not close enough. I want her on me, over me, hell, if could figure out a way, I'd want her inside of me, if only so she can see how crazy she makes me. I walk backward, and when I feel the back of my knees hit the edge of the loveseat, I sit, taking her with me.

And there she is, all around me.

Her hair falls in a soft, brown curtain around us. The smell of her shampoo fills my lungs when I take a deep breath. If I could invent one, I'd live inside a peppermint, sugar cookie-scented bubble in a fucking heartbeat.

"Oh God." I groan when she rolls her hips just so.

I can't decide what to do first. I want to slide my hand up her shirt, just to feel her skin beneath my fingers, but I want to kiss her until my jaw hurts and I can't feel my tongue. I want her naked beneath me, but love the way she feels on top of me, grinding against the hardest erection known to man. It has to be. I'm so hard it hurts.

"Lips. I want them. Come here and kiss me." I pant, deciding to go with that because it leaves my hands free to roam. Best of both worlds and all.

She smirks and fuck is it ever a turn on.

"These lips?" she teases as she lowers her head and barely brushes said lips against mine. Her hips slide forward again and my eyes roll back into my head.

"Bella," I try to say with some authority, but I'm pretty sure it just comes out as more of a whine than anything. And because I have absolutely no shame whatsoever when it comes to her, when she does it again, looking pleased as can be mind you, I beg.

"Please, Bella. I've been thinking about this all night." I shift, lifting my hips so that she has to lean forward.

She moves just like I want her to. Her weight, what there is of it, welcome and needed against my chest. Her t-shirt's so thin that I can feel her nipples brush against me, already hard and just begging for me to touch them. Her mouth molds to mine and finally, I kiss her, or she kisses me, or we kiss each other. Her hands slide through my hair and I wrap her silky soft strands around my fingers. There's a lot of moaning and a lot of heavy breathing. It's fucking heaven.

"Edward, gah, you taste so good." Bella breathes against my mouth, and then the vixen licks my bottom lip right before taking it between her teeth. She giggles when I try to glare at her.

"I think I want another taste," she whispers, her brown eyes blazing and heavily lidded as she leans forward again.

I loosen my fingers in her hair. There are bare legs calling my name, and I damn sure don't want to ignore any part of her that wants attention. I watch my hands move up her thighs - watch the way my fingers press into her warm, soft skin. I love her legs, especially when they're straddling my own. Muscular, but not overly so. Her skin is the perfect color - peaches and cream - with a hint of a tan. Perfect … just like her.

My hands drift higher, higher, squeezing and caressing until my thumbs cover her hip bones and my fingers curl around to her ass. I've never been so thankful for long piano fingers … ever, especially when Bella groans and adjusts on my lap, settling her center exactly where we both want it the most.

"You're so hot, the way you look right now," I rasp as I gaze up at her. Her eyes are shining, her cheeks flushed pink. A few strands of hair stick to the side of her face and when she bites her bottom lip, I clench my fingers and hold her still.

"So fucking hot." I lift up again and slide her along my hard cock, moaning because it feels so damn good.

Her eyes widen and then flutter close. Her breath hitches in her throat and her fingers twist in my hair. _Oh fuck_, there's her tongue, sweeping across her bottom lip, from left to right, back and forth like she's licking something sticky and sweet.

_I'll give her sticky and sweet._

She moves up and down and the bottom of her t-shirt gets pushed higher. Skin. Lots of skin. Toned, warm skin. Her stomach, the edges of her hip bones - my eyes are riveted to every inch and I have to touch. My hands skim from her hips up her side. She leans back, and for the first time, because honestly before now the only thing I could think about was my tongue in her mouth, I see her shirt. A shit-eating grin spreads across my face.

"Excellent choice, baby," I praise. I still my hands but my eyes are glued to her tits and the hard nipples that are at perfect eye level.

Bella lets out a shaky breath as my hands begin to stroke from her hip up to under her arm, then down and up again and again.

"I thought you'd like it," she says as she tries not to moan. I'll be honest, hearing her sound like that because I'm touching her is such a turn-on. I stop at her waist and stretch my thumbs, ghosting over the bottom of her breasts.

"I do like it; in fact, I fucking love it. Megara … she was hot, just like you." Corny, yes, but nothing but the truth.

She rolls her eyes at my cheesiness, but the pink tinge to her cheeks tells me she doesn't mind. In fact, apparently she likes it so much she scratches her nails across my scalp, leaving the most amazing tingling sensation in their wake.

"I'm surprised you know who that is." She smiles at me and it's sweet and flirty, but the way she's grinding against my dick is anything but innocent.

"I … ahh," My voice breaks when she licks up the side of my neck.

"You were saying?" she asks, like she hasn't just practically rubbed a hole in my cargo shorts from all her grinding and wriggling.

Her soft lips are back on my neck and I can feel the heat of her blush against my cheek. Seeing her this way is totally unexpected, but Jesus, if it's not sexy as hell. I know she hasn't been with anyone like _that_. I know her experience with fooling around is a little less than mine, but the fact that number one, she seems to want me as much as I want her, and number two, she trusts me enough to show me this side of her, makes me love her even more than I did when I stepped inside here just a short while ago.

On the flip side, it's also making it really fucking difficult not to throw her down on the loveseat, climb between her thighs, yank her tiny ass shorts down her legs, and then ram myself inside of her.

I realize I'm done talking when my thumbs reach higher and rub across her nipples. She hangs her head and begins to move faster, harder against me. The friction feels fucking fantastic and it's making me so damned hard.

"Yes, fuck yes." I groan when I slouch down a bit so she's more fully around my hips.

My index fingers have joined my thumbs and now I'm rolling, pinching her nipples and Bella's heavy breathing matches my own.

"That … oh God, that feels so good," she says roughly.

I trail my right hand down her side, over her hip and then beneath her tiny, fantasy-inducing shorts. My entire hand covers the right side of her ass and I let my fingers squeeze, loving how tight and firm it is. I press and knead, holding her close as we continue to grind against each other.

She lowers her head and plunges her tongue in my mouth. It's wet and sloppy and fucking incredible. Her taste, her smell, the way she's wrapped almost completely around me. All of it. The squeaks and whimpers and the way her muscles feel as they clench and twitch against my thighs and beneath my hand. How hard her nipple is between my fingers. Dry humping has never felt like this.

"Touch me, Edward," she whispers and I almost come right then. Her voice shoots straight to my dick and I swear I get harder, throbbing almost painfully beneath my boxers.

I drag my hand from back to front, still beneath her shorts but over what have to be the skimpiest panties ever made. They feel as thin as tissue paper because I can feel the warmth of her skin against my fingers, almost as if they're evaporating every place I touch her.

"Here, baby? Like this?" I ask as my index finger runs up and down between her legs. She's so hot, and I can feel how damp her underwear is.

Jesus.

I want to touch her, really touch her, finger against slick, slippery skin, but I know she's not ready for that yet. Hell, I don't think I am either, as much as I want it. I've dreamt about touching her … tasting her … being with her for months now, but right this minute, feeling her all around me, just like my first dream of her, is enough.

For now.

Circling and pressing, my finger works her over. Short, choppy breaths mix with moans and whimpers. She's gorgeous like this. Free and totally letting go so she can just feel … and she's all mine.

When I think she can't turn me on further, she shocks the hell out of me when I feel the tips of her fingers graze the edge of my boxers. I about lose my shit, right then and there, but my mind is fucking gone when her hand slips beneath my shorts and her fingers are on me for the first time. Even through the thin cotton of my boxers, it feels like nothing I've ever felt before.

"Oh, ohhhhh," she whispers, her voice scratchy and breathless. I don't know if it's because of my fingers on her or hers on me … I don't really care.

Her fingers dance along my length, a little hesitant but she learns quick as she curls them around me and begins to stroke with the perfect, eyes rolling to the back of my head, pressure.

"Fuck, Bella, holy shit. That feels so good." I groan, and throw my head backward on the loveseat behind me.

Our eyes lock and I suddenly I feel so much. I love her. I want her. I need her more than anything. She's all I see, all I want, and the word forever rattles around in my foggy mind.

We move in concert. My finger, her hand, and we rock, up and down and in circles. Tongues and lips and words hissed between clenched teeth as we get closer to where we need, want, to be.

"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck. Harder, baby. Please," I urge. My hips thrust toward her as I pull my mouth from hers and look up at her. The muscles in my thighs burn, my t-shirt damp with sweat and sticking to my chest, twisted almost uncomfortably, but all I can feel is her begin to move faster, harder.

She spreads her legs wider across mine and my entire hand is down the front of her shorts, cupping her pussy. The heel of my hand presses against her pubic bone, my thumb on her clit, and my fingers glide up and down.

"Oh God, yes. Shit. Ah … just like that, Edward. Close, oh God, I'm going to …" She pants, and her eyes meet mine and they sear straight into my heart … and my cock.

"Kiss me. Fucking kiss me while you come. I'm going to make you come so fucking hard, Bella," I rasp between shaky breaths.

Her mouth crashes against mine. Our tongues twist and tangle around the other's. She's moving against me; my hips keep thrusting into her tight hand. My hand squeezes her ass, her nipple and she's tugging on my hair so hard my scalp stings, but fuck if it doesn't feel good.

"That's it, almost there," I breathe against her lips.

"Please, oh please," she whines, needy and aching.

She squeezes me harder, I press firmer, and then we lose it, coming and writhing against each other. She trembles above me, her legs shake, a rush of heat and wet beneath my fingers. My cock pulses in her hand as I explode and I don't even care about the mess inside my boxers.

"Jesus fucking Christ," I pant.

I feel like all of my bones have melted inside of my body. I'm so spent I can't even pull my hand out of her shorts … not that I really want to.

"Wow. Um … I've never felt like that before," she whispers, her voice a mixture of shock and what I sure as hell hope is happiness as she leans her forehead on mine.

I lift my hand from her ass, not ready for my other hand to leave the heat from between her legs just yet. I lay my palm along her cheek and my thumb gently pulls her bottom lip from the grip of her teeth.

"Me either. That was fucking incredible, baby. I've never … I mean … yeah, what you said, wow," I stammer, tongue-tied and still in a foggy 'Bella has just come on my fingers' haze.

"Was that? I didn't know if you wanted more … I wasn't sure what," she mumbles, her voice now timid and soft.

_Oh, hell to the fuck no_.

"Isabella Marie Swan," I say as I struggle to sit up, paying no attention to the fact that my shorts are twisted around my waist and my hair probably looks like I just stuck my finger in a light socket.

Her eyes widen; I've never used her whole name before. But if there was a time to use it, it's right fucking now.

"If you even think about finishing that sentence, I'm …" I can't even finish my thought because I want to tell her I'm going to swat her ass, but that would only be hot and not really what I'm going for right now.

"I don't know what I'll do," I huff, "but it'll piss me off if you say anything that even remotely sounds like you're worried about what just happened."

She sighs and tries to hang her head. My fingers lift her chin so she's looking at me. I lean forward and kiss her, this time slow and deep and full of everything, I hope, I feel for her.

"I love you. I've dreamed about, been thinking about touching you and being with you, for months now. Believe me, that," I sigh, and need to shift because there's drying jizz on my boxers and it feels gross, "that was fucking amazing."

"So you don't care that we didn't, you know, really touch and stuff?" She blows out a puff of air and it makes her hair float around her face and for a second I forget her question.

But then I remember once I shake my head to clear it from 'touch and stuff' thoughts.

I open my arms and scoot up, flush against the back of the loveseat and then pull her beside me.

"Come here." I chuckle while running my fingers through her damp hair and let out the girliest sigh ever when she snuggles against my side. "Bella, I kid you not. If all you want to do for now is what we just did … I'm totally, one hundred percent okay with that. I promise," I hurry to say before she can argue with me, like I know she wants to. "Being with you, in any way, any place, but especially here, is plenty, okay? We have lots of time to do more _stuff_."

I can't help but pinch her side for even thinking I wouldn't be satisfied with what just happened between us. When she giggles and whispers a quiet, but very content, "Okay," I know she's just fine.

I turn and nuzzle my nose in her delicious peppermint-scented hair and say quietly, "That doesn't mean I'm not really looking forward to more, just so you know."

She gasps beside me and I can feel the heat from her cheek seep through my t-shirt as she presses it tightly to me. "I love you so much. I just want to be with you, in every way you'll let me. I won't push you, I promise, but I need you to know how much I want you, always."

"I love you, too. Thank you for not pushing me," she says as she lifts her head from where she was hiding in the crook of my shoulder. She stretches, brushing her lips against mine, smiling so sweetly it nearly makes my heart fly out my chest. "And just so _you_ know," she sort of growls in a voice laced with the promise of lots more stuff that races straight to my dick, "I want to be with you, too."

We kiss and cuddle for a few minutes, until the mess in my shorts takes precedence over her tongue in my mouth.

When I shiver and look down at my crotch with a disgusted look, she giggles then crawls over my lap, rubbing right against me in the worst, best, way. Her ass is right there, so of course I have to run my hand over it, but before I can do anything but grope her a few times, she's sitting back up and shoving a handful of wet wipes at me along with a bottle of water.

Ahh, nothing like a girl that's prepared.

It sort of takes me by surprise how easy and comfortable it feels doing something as unappealing as cleaning up after a round of messy making out. Hot as hell making out, but cleaning jizz off of your boxers is in no way hot.

Ever.

_Unless it's Bella_, I amend and feel my chest rumble when I see her wipe off her hands, knowing they were just wrapped around my dick. The thought makes my now clean cock start to harden. I want them on me again … soon.

We each take a few sips of water, watching each other as we do so.

"I love being with you like this, just the two of us," I tell her quietly reaching for her free hand because I may have just gotten her off, but I still need to touch her.

Our fingers twine together and I take a moment to look around. It's almost like seeing the inside for the first time. Her books are still on her shelf, her drumsticks still rest across her stool, the fluffy carpet is still just as brightly-colored as it's always been, but it's different now.

"Did you think we'd be here, like this, the first time you saw me?" Bella's voice startles me because she's been quiet so long. It's soft and gentle and just like always, when I go for even a few minutes without hearing it, it makes my heart start beating faster and the twisty turny thing in my stomach to start, well, doing its thing. I'm so ridiculously gone over her that I can't find any part of me that minds being such a damned sap.

She's resting her chin on her knees and her thumbnail is in her mouth as she chews nervously on it, like I'm going to give her an answer she doesn't want to hear. Silly girl.

"Of course," I answer immediately as I turn my head, leaving it against the back of the loveseat. "The second I saw you, I knew. I wasn't sure how it would all work out," and we both laugh as the same thought runs through our minds … _how indeed_, "but I knew it would."

I remember her notebook, the one I dropped over the side of the loveseat before we got busy, so I lean over the side and pick it up from where it landed beside her backpack.

"Here," I say, feeling a little vulnerable and a lot nervous, as I hand her notebook to her.

I'm not sure where the feelings are coming from; it's not like she shouldn't expect me to have written. In fact, I've written to her every night, just like when I was at camp, even if we haven't really talked about it all week because of everything else that's been going on.

"Yes!" she squeals, bouncing all around. Christ, she's so fucking adorable. She hugs it to her chest, just like every time over the summer when it was waiting for her on her stool. I'm not as jealous this time, though I have to say, it's a hell of a lot better to be able to give it her in person.

I give her a funny look when she giggles and then she's over my lap again, wiggling that perfect ass right where she shouldn't be. We are seriously going to have to talk about this if she doesn't knock it off. Her smile rivals any I've ever seen from her when she pops back up and brings her backpack with her.

"I have yours, too." She sighs as she passes me my notebook.

"I've missed these," she says as she traces a circle over and over again on the cover.

My eyes close and I have to take a few deep breaths before I can look up at her.

"Me, too. It makes me feel really close to you when I write. I know we tell each other everything, all the time, or I hope we do anyway, but writing just feels different, you know?" I shrug my shoulders, unsure if she understands what I'm saying or not.

Well, that is until she throws herself at me and wraps her arm around my neck. "I do. I feel the same way. You know me better than anyone. I don't want that to ever change and I don't want there to ever be anything you don't know about me, even the embarrassing stuff."

I chuckle and kiss her cheek. "You mean like the time you had too many lemonades at your school picnic when you were in the 7th grade and had to pee so bad, that you tripped and fell right in a mud puddle trying to get inside to the bathroom, and wound up splattering mud all over the principal?"

She huffs and crosses her arms, scooting back into the corner of the loveseat. "Jerk! I can't believe you're laughing at me. I was mortified, Edward! I couldn't look Mr. Banner in the eyes again until the end of my 8th grade year, and that's only because I wasn't going to have to see him again."

"God, you're cute when you're being all feisty and shit." I grin as I pounce on her. "I bet you looked adorable all covered in mud."

She huffs again, but I push my luck and kiss her because being with her, like this, in our space, is better than I ever imagined.

"You love me; you can't be mad at me," I whisper.

"Hmph, you're lucky I do." She tries to fight the smile that's just begging to come out, and loses miserably when she gives in after only a few seconds.

"I am lucky. So lucky."

We kiss some more until she moves and we sit up. I glance at her drums. "Will you play for me?"

She smiles and her eyes get bright.

"Yes, of course, but not your song," she says knowing those words were the next things out of my mouth.

I kick off my shoes and lay down. The loveseat's not long enough for me, so my legs hang off the end. The fact that I've dreamed about this exact moment isn't lost on me. I have to take a few deep breaths to keep from making a fool out of myself, and when I look at Bella, her head's tilted to the side as she watches me. I smile, fold my arms behind my head, and close my eyes. "Stop staring and play for me, baby. I've been waiting for this for a long time you know."

I know my girl, so I know she's nervous about having me so close. That's one reason I close my eyes. The other, of course, is she's so fucking hot when she plays that there's every possibility I'll break my promise to not push her. I wouldn't ever, not really, but I figure it's better not to tempt myself any more than necessary.

I hear the stool scrape across the cement floor. There's rustling as Bella fiddles with the iPod to find something to play along with. When I hear her get situated behind her drum set, my heart starts hammering in my chest. The hairs on my arms stand on end, just in anticipation of sharing this with her. The music starts, and I hold my breath, letting it out slowly when the first beats of _Sunday Bloody Sunday _by U2 start. From there she moves flawlessly into some Beatles, just for me, and then _Fell in Love With a Girl_ by the White Stripes. Ahh, my girl's a huge Meg White fan. Then there's some Led Zeppelin for her dad followed by some Nirvana. The music should be loud in such a small space, and maybe it is, but I don't notice. Eyes open now and I all I can pay attention to is Bella. Seeing her like this, hair flying, arms pumping, eyes closed as she counts out the beats … she's fucking magnificent.

When she reaches the end of _Smells Like Teen Spirit_, she finally looks at me. Her face is covered by a slight sheen of sweat, her cheeks are flushed pink from all the exertion, and her chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath.

She has never, fucking ever, been more beautiful.

"Bella." It's the only word I can say.

The next ones though, I mean with all my heart, with all I am. "I want you to meet my parents on Sunday. Please have dinner with us so I can finally introduce you as my girlfriend."

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**So … worth the wait? I sure hope so! These two, I swear, I could live inside their heads all day, every day and I'd be one happy girl. **

**Bella's going to meet the parents; about time I'd say, huh? We'll hear from her next time. **

**Keep checking the blog and th FB page. I posted a few pics over the weekend just to get y'all in the mood for today! **

**I've been waiting just as long as you to get them to this point, so I hope you'll let me know if it was worth it! **

***Megara (from **_**Hercules**_**) - Quick-witted, flirtatious, intelligent, brave, bold **

**See you Thursday! **


	8. Two Splash, Four Crash

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own the plot. **

**EEEP! I can't tell you how happy I am about y'all's response to the last chapter! I know you guys are ready for more for our two lovebirds, and they'll get there, when the time's right! **

**Okay, let's check in with our girl, me thinks she's got a lot going on in that head of hers … **

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**Chapter 8 - Two Splash, Four Crash, Two Chinas and a Ride**

**BPOV **

"Crap!" I yell, dropping the knife on the island. It clatters and bounces, flinging bits of vanilla icing everywhere.

Great.

Wonderful.

Just what I need.

As if anything else could go wrong today. I huff and blow out an exasperated breath, then swat at the stubborn piece of hair that keeps falling in my face … just to piss me off. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, counting to ten before I let it out. It doesn't help. I don't have anything to lose, so I do it again. This time, a tiny bit of tension goes away, so I do it once more, clenching then unclenching my fingers in time with my counting. It helps a little more. At least now I don't feel like I'm going to start screaming and throwing a temper tantrum like a little kid at the grocery store that gets told "no" when they ask for a treat.

It sure might help though.

"Bella, what in the world?" Maggie asks as she saunters in from the living room.

I watch her eyes sweep over the tornado that's blown through her kitchen.

"I know. I'll clean it up, promise," I say slowly, shaking my head. At the mess or at my overly dramatic self, I have no idea. Probably a bit of both if I'm honest.

She opens her mouth, then closes it, but not before letting a low "humph" out to let me know I'd better do what I said I would. As if I wouldn't, but I have to say, I've never had a mess quite like this to clean up. It looks like the Abominable Snowman from _Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer_ threw up flour in here. There's white … everywhere, mixed with bits of tinted vanilla icing. I think I've used every mixing bowl we have, not to mention if there is even a granule of sugar anywhere to be found, except on the floor or in my hair, I'll let Emmett drive my Escalade.

Or not.

I glance around the kitchen and try to decide where to start first. Do I clean up my mess and try something else, or do I make the best out of what I've done so far? Ugh. Maybe I'll just call Edward and tell him I'm sick or something and I can't make it to dinner. And, well, now there's the queasy, nervous feeling in my stomach that I've been trying to ignore since I woke up at the crack of dawn this morning … after only being asleep a few hours in the first place.

"Bella?" Maggie questions, her voice concerned as she lays her hand on my hand to still the incessant drumming of my fingers.

"I was trying to make some cookies to take to Edward's for dessert. He, ah … um … asked if I'd go have dinner with him and his parents tonight so he can introduce me as his girlfriend," I say barely louder than a whisper.

Just saying the words makes my skin break out in goosebumps.

"And you're destroying my kitchen because … ?" she presses.

I didn't really have time to talk to Maggie yesterday … well, I did, I just didn't. It's not that I'm trying to hide anything, but between not falling asleep until nearly six A.M. and waking up shortly after noon when Edward sent a text, and then spending time with Mom, the day sort of got away from me. Top that off with lots of hours in my head daydreaming about the amazing time Edward and I spent together and talking to him while he was at Jasper's with Alice, Rose, and Emmett, it was a busy day and night. I crawled into bed, exhausted, but couldn't sleep because I was worrying about today's dinner, so I tossed and turned until the wee hours of the morning. I didn't even have the energy to go outside and play, even though it's probably what I needed more than anything.

Except for Edward.

There's nothing I need more than him.

Not counting my mom waking up, because well, if I had that, everything would be perfect.

Maggie scoots around me and bumps me with her hip so she can get to the mess on the island.

"Mag, no! I'll do it, once I figure out what the heck I'm going to do for dessert." I try to reach over her and grab the mixing bowls, but she's having none of it.

"Sit and start talking. If you can't manage to make your cookies without burning …" she stops and does a quick once-over before she looks at me, "three batches, then you obviously have too much on your mind to be using the oven. Now, why are you so nervous about meeting Edward's parents? You've already met Dr. Cullen, more than once, and that went fine."

She moves around, not looking at me and obviously giving me time to get my thoughts in order. Of course I don't really need the time, so off I go, talking so fast I trip over my words. "Mags, what if they hate me? Edward and his parents are really close; you should see how he acts when he talks about them. His mom sounds like a cross between Carol Brady and the mom from _The Incredibles_. The way Edward goes on about her, I wouldn't be surprised if she were a superhero. And Dr. Cullen, gah, what if he gets mad because I didn't tell him I knew Edward when he first visited my mom? If they find out how Edward and I met, they're going to think I'm crazy, and then ground him for … like the rest of the year. And then Edward's soccer - what if they tell him he shouldn't have a girlfriend right now when he's got all this other stuff going on, Regional Team matches and getting ready for the season to start here? They're going to know that it was my fault Edward almost didn't make it to be held over."

I hop off the stool I am sitting on and pace, waving my arms around like I'm trying to take flight. "He's had this amazing life, with all these good friends he's known forever, and they don't know me from Adam. When they find out I'm his girlfriend, they're going to tell him he's better off without getting involved with me. I just know it. What if they don't like me?"

I flop back down on the stool, and throw my arms across the now clean island. My head lands in the crook of my elbow and I close my eyes, waiting for Maggie to tell me that everything will be just fine.

I wait some more.

Just when I can't take it any longer and I'm ready to scream at her to start talking to me, Maggie laughs. And laughs … until there are tears streaming down her very red face.

"Isabella Marie Swan," she says, hiccuping as she tries to catch her breath, "if that is not the most convoluted, borderline insane string of nonsense I have ever heard in my life, I don't know what is."

_Ummm … come again? _

I stand up and glare at her, ready to march right into my bedroom and bury myself beneath the blankets. I don't even make it a step before Maggie's voice rings out.

"Oh, don't go giving me that look, missy, and sit yourself right back down." She points and gives me a look that lets me know I best listen. "Now, what on God's green Earth would ever make you think that Dr. and Mrs. Cullen would act anything like you've just described?"

"Well, I don't know," I whine, knowing I must sound utterly pathetic.

I'm a mess, is what I am. I have been ever since Edward kissed me goodbye as the sun was beginning to rise yesterday morning. Why oh why did I agree to this? Oh, I know, because my boyfriend happens to be able to turn me into a dazzled jumble of tingles and breathless sighs when he looks at me in that perfect way he has: head tilted just a bit to the right, left side of his mouth lifted into that sexy, sinful smirk, bright green eyes that tell me almost as much as his words do - then add to it, his voice when he says "please" … yeah, like there's a snowball's chance in hell I'd say no to anything he asks me.

"I want them to like me, Mag. Edward's really important to me, and their opinion means a lot to him. I'm just scared they won't think I'm good enough for him," I say quietly. Admitting it makes me feel a little better, but my stomach is still churning away.

Maggie sighs and walks around the island so she can sit beside me.

"Bella," she begins and takes my hand in hers. "Let me ask you a question, and think about this before you answer, okay?" When I nod, she says, "What would your mom do if the situations were somehow reversed? Do you think she'd be so shallow as to listen to a bunch of gossip, or do you think she'd keep an open mind and wait to meet the boy that was so important to you that you wanted to bring him home to dinner so he could be introduced as your boyfriend?"

Of course I know the answer and I have to smile, though it's a sad one. There's nothing I want more than to be able to introduce Edward to my mom and watch her face light up and get that mischievous sparkle in her eye as she asks him off-the-wall questions just to see what he'll do. She'd laugh when he'd blush at some of the more innuendo-laced ones, and then kiss his cheeks and tell him as long as he made me happy, all was good because it was the only thing that mattered. He'd grin and lay on the charm he's so capable of wielding, and that would be all she wrote.

"She'd love him just because I do," I whisper, my heart hurting, but at the same time the thought of knowing how true it is makes the the pain lessen just a little.

"Exactly," Maggie agrees as she clasps one of my hands in hers. She pushes a strand of hair behind my ear and then lays her hand along my cheek. I can feel warm tears beneath my eyes and she wipes them off with the tip of her finger. "Bella, be happy. It's all your mom would want for you. Phil, too. This whole week you should've seen yourself when you came home from school, listened to the tone of your voice when you sat with your mom and told her about your day. You've been lighter than air and you shine from the inside out whenever you talk about Edward and your new friends."

I start to cry a little harder, wishing with all I am that Mom was able to see and hear what Maggie does. I want it more than anything, would give up anything, besides Edward, to be able to make it happen.

"I want her back, Maggie. I want her to see how amazing Edward is and see how happy he makes me. Why can't she just wake up and be with me?" I sob and then collapse against her when she wraps her arms around me and pulls me close.

I cry for a while until some of the pain goes away. It never will, but there are times it feels like it will completely take over and bury me alive.

"Honey, if I could give you what you want, I'd do it in a heartbeat. All we can do is hope and pray for a miracle. But in the meantime, you have to keep living. For the past year, you've shut yourself away from the world and lived and breathed nothing but spending every moment with your mom. It's time to step out on your own a bit, and if Edward can keep that beautiful smile on your face, then he's pretty close to perfect in my book … even if he possesses stalkerish tendencies."

We both chuckle at that. I know she still doesn't quite understand how Edward and I managed to go from watcher and watchee to boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm not sure anyone can really get it besides the two of us, but truthfully, as long as the two of us do, that's all that matters.

"Better?" she asks after she lets me process and compartmentalize for a few minutes.

She's so amazing that way, knowing when to push and when to wait, ready to offer a hug and a pat on the back when I need it. I suppose what Edward's told me time and again is really true - you really can learn a lot about a person by simply watching and observing. Sometimes I wonder what it is about me that makes me such an open book to the two of them, but most of the time, I'm just glad I mean enough for them to pay attention.

"How about we get some cookies in the oven and then you can go sit with your mom for a little bit before you need to get ready to go to dinner?" she asks as she stands up.

We spend the next thirty minutes mixing, rolling, and pressing, talking the whole time about everything but dinner and my mom. I tell her all about watching Edward play soccer on Friday, how sweet Rose, Angela, and Alice are, how funny Emmett is, and how nice Jasper's been. I tell her about my classes and which ones have teachers that I like. I tell her about some of the other kids, the ones I've met but haven't gotten to know well yet. I don't mention the looks and the nasty comments I've heard a few people make in the cafeteria or when I walk down the hall at school with Edward, and I damn sure don't tell her what Heidi said on Friday. In the long run, things like that don't really matter. It hurts, sure, but catty comments from shallow girls do nothing but make me appreciate how genuine Rose and the rest really are.

"It seems like you've found yourself a really great group of kids to hang out with, sweetie," Maggie says as she turns to look at me.

"Well, I didn't really find them, Mags, seeing as how they belonged to Edward already, but they've all been really nice."

With one last swipe across the island, I dust off the crumbs and shake them into the sink. The delicious smell of sugar cookies fills the air and I feel about a hundred times better. I'm still nervous as can be about meeting Edward's parents, but I don't feel like I'm going to turn into a stuttering, sniveling mess at dinner at least.

I can feel Maggie staring at me so I turn around, surprised when I see a serious look on her face. "Bella, they may have been Edward's friends first, but I've heard you giggle on the phone at night with Rose and Angela. I've listened as you and Edward have talked about them. They're your friends, too, and not just because you're Edward's girlfriend, but because they like you … for you. Don't sell yourself short. You're a brilliant, sweet, pretty girl with or without Edward. Try to remember that, okay?"

Touched beyond words, all I can do is nod.

Then as usual, Maggie knows exactly what I need. "Go, talk to your mom. You can frost the cookies when they cool."

I rush forward and give her a big hug, hanging on to her much longer than normal. Kissing her cheek, I whisper, "Love you, Mag. Thank you for being so wonderful."

She pats me on the back, and I can feel her try to catch her breath because I've managed to catch her completely off-guard with my hug … but mostly with my words. As I leave the kitchen, I hear her say, "I love you, too."

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**So, truth time. I totally did not plan for this chapter. The beginning yes, but the interaction with Maggie, not at all. Seems our Bella really did need to get some things off her chest. Suffice it to say, NEXT chapter I promise dinner at the Cullens'. **

**Just because I can't help myself, I'll say again, thank you for all the love and support you all give me and this story week in and week out. It's not my normal type of story. There's not a lot of drama, and there's not a lot of lemony goodness (yet), but you all love these two as much as I do and I still, after all this time, don't have the words to adequately thank each of you! **

**See you Monday! Dinner will be worth the wait, you'll see! **


	9. A Conversation With Mom

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own the plot. **

**Big thanks to my everything Laurel for helping whip this into shape so last minute! And to my love J'me … girl, you are the wind beneath my wings … and all that other jazz. Love you both more than I can say! **

**Okay, all, this is just a little something that I wanted to include but didn't feel like it belonged in the last chapter. Tissues? Maybe. **

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**Outtake #1 - A Conversation with Mom**

**BPOV **

_As I leave the kitchen, I hear her say, "I love you, too."_

I grab my glass of Coke off the counter and hurry from the kitchen, smiling like a loon because of Maggie's words as I make my way toward Mom's room. The smile stays, even when I open the door and the _pfft whoosh pfft whoosh _fills the air as it always does. It's still there as I glance at the bed and see my mom's completely still body. Today is a good day for her. I don't know how it's possible, and Maggie, Kate, and Phil argue with me and tell me I'm wrong, but I swear there are days she looks better than others. Some days she's so pale, her skin so translucent, it's almost as if she's a ghost, barely tethered to this world by the machines that feed her and keep a constant record of her vitals. But then there are days like today, when her hair has a slight shine to it instead of the limp, dull, brownish gray I see most of the time. Her cheeks have the tiniest tinge of pink to them instead of the pasty white that reminds me of slushy snow - the pristine white marred by dirt and grime, so that it's a dingy, ashen mixture of white and gray.

No, today is a good day for her, almost as if she's trying to comfort me, and tell me that it will be a good day for me, too.

Instead of my normal spot in the chair, I sit beside her on the bed. I need to be close to her. No matter how close Maggie and I have gotten over the past few months, she's still not Mom. She still doesn't know that my favorite after-school snack, not counting sugar cookies, was a plate of pretzels, celery, apples, and bowl of peanut butter. She doesn't know that I had the biggest crush on Cade Seymore when I was in the seventh grade, and cried myself to sleep every night for a week when he asked Amber Newton to be his girlfriend. Or that my dad and I would spend Sunday afternoons playing with Legos, taking hours and hours to build and create our own designs. And she'll never know that after my dad died, the only way I could fall asleep was to lay in bed with my mom, wearing one of my dad's flannel shirts while we watched episodes of _Boy Meets World_. She was an Eric girl, I loved Shawn, but we both loved Mr. Feeny.

I could tell Maggie of course, and Phil and Edward, too, but it's not the same as Mom knowing, because she lived it all with me. She was there, ready with a smile or a hug and a kiss and at times, when needed, a swift kick in the ass to tell me to pull myself together, pick my chin up, and face whatever it was that was making me afraid.

She sure could be scary when she wanted to be. She was also full of fire and passion mixed with a heart that was as big as the Grand Canyon and loved me, my dad, and then Phil with an intensity that rivaled the sun.

"Mom, I'm so nervous about today," I tell her, taking her frail hand in mine.

I carefully trace the veins beneath her paper-thin skin with my finger, wishing for the billionth time that somehow, someway, my touch could make her all better. That she'll just open her eyes, sit up, and then freak out because she's late for her belly dancing class. I sigh … _if only_.

"Edward keeps telling me not to worry, Maggie thinks I'm acting like an idiot, but I can't help it. What if they don't like me? What if they take one look at me and go, "Nuh uh, no way," and tell Edward to turn around and take me home, forbid him to see me, then homeschool him just to keep us apart?" I ask, laughing at my ridiculous self. Even in my over-dramatic and strange mind I know the chances of that happening are less than zero.

"I know, I know," I tell her with a smile, "I'm being silly, but you know how I get when I'm nervous. I start thinking all these weird things and work myself up so much I need medication or a straight jacket to calm down."

I can hear her.

_Bella, what in the world is the matter with you?_

She'd stand there, hands on her hips, hair tied back with her favorite faded blue bandana, wearing well-worn jeans with holes in both knees, and an old t-shirt of my dad's, probably with a picture of a beer can and some tacky, off-color saying plastered across the front in rainbow letters.

_You're being totally absurd right now; you do know that, right?_

I'd shake my head, open my mouth to argue with her, but before I could get a word in edgewise, she'd walk to me, grab one of my hands, and push my hair back behind my ear with her other.

_Isabella Marie_, she'd say and I'd roll my eyes because she knows how much I hate it when she uses my middle name and Isabella at the same time; one or the other is bad enough. _You will walk into that dinner, you will hold your head up high, look Dr. and Mrs. Cullen in the eye, and be the Bella that Edward fell in love with. You will be your charming, sweet self. You will more than likely ramble and say something totally random and off-the-wall, but you will make them laugh and in that moment they will fall in love you every bit as much as Edward has. Be yourself, baby girl, _she'd smile,_ because who you are is pretty damn special._

Then she'd ruffle my hair just to annoy me, and quip as she skipped out of the room, _Just be careful if they're having spaghetti; you know you always wind up wearing more than you eat! _

I feel a drop on my hand and I reach up to swipe at the tears I don't even know I am crying. My heart's so heavy as I focus on her again. Her voice, crystal clear and in surround sound in my mind. The image of her, in full 3-D High-definition.

I want it.

God, I want her here, with me, so damn bad.

My stomach lurches and that familiar feeling of wanting to scream and cry at the same time washes over me.

My phone vibrates, and the oppressive, somber thoughts from just moments ago float away like wisps of fluffy white clouds on a hot summer day.

_Two more hours. I miss you! XOXO E~ _

"Okay, Mom," I say as I slide off the bed and stand up. "I guess I better go and get ready. I love you," I whisper against her cheek and then press my lips to the soft, much too wrinkled and loose skin.

I'm not sure how the night will go, but whatever happens, I know she'll be with me … just like always.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**So, this was just a little peek at some Bella/Renée interaction. Hope you enjoyed it! **

**There will be a chapter tomorrow as usual. Um … when you get to the end, remember I gave you this little bit of love, okay? Okay. **

**Let me know if you liked this will you? I'd love to know … **

**See you in the A.M.!**


	10. Paradiddle

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own the plot. **

**Huge hugs and lots of kisses to my girls: Laurel, J'me, Bornonhalloween, and Robsmyyummycabanaboy (she's the one behind most of the titles, btw)! They have been such a huge help to me and this story would not be what it is without them. I love you all so much. Lots of love as well to Becky, Kassiah and Caren. You three are my little bits of sunshiney goodness and there aren't enough words for any of you. Who else do I love? Each and every one of who reads, reviews, rec's, and re-tweets! Honestly, my heart's so full, all the time, and it's all due to you guys! **

**Okay, we have a dinner to get to, yes? **

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**Chapter 9 - Paradiddle **

**BPOV **

_On my way. Be there in a few_

I sigh, curling my fingers around my phone, as I nervously tap it against my leg.

"If you don't stop, you're going to wear a hole in the floor." Maggie chuckles from her seat on the sofa.

I don't stop pacing, but I do whip my head around and glare at her. "How long does it take to get from his house to mine? It's not like there's rush hour traffic to get through!"

I turn and walk to the window, looking out for probably the twenty-third time since his text saying he was on his way.

"Bella," Maggie calls calmly and waits for me to face her again. "They will love you. Stop worrying."

I humph, and run my hands down my legs, smoothing imaginary wrinkles as I go. There better not be any ... I only ironed my clothes four times.

Finally, the sound of a car door floats through the window, and I rush to the door, flinging it open before Edward even has a chance to knock.

"Someone's happy to see me." He grins then starts to lean forward for a kiss.

My hands go up and land on his chest. "Nope. Make-up," I tell him with a wave around my face.

"Oh, hell no. I've been thinking about kissing you the whole way here," he answers, rolling his eyes. Before I know it, he's left a very soft, but very needed kiss on my lips.

I take a step closer to him and manage to let my forehead rest against his chest for all of two seconds before his fingers are beneath my chin, tipping my head up so he can look at me. His eyes are full of love and happiness; they're shining and so Jolly Rancher green, my mouth starts watering for a piece of candy. Or a piece of him ... both are as sweet as can be. "Please try not to be so nervous. My parents are the two most easy-going people you'll ever meet, and not only that, they'll love you because I do. So, for me, try not drive yourself any more crazy than you already have been."

"Okay," I whisper then grin at him. "Come on, Maggie's been dying to meet you."

I lace our fingers together and pull him through the entryway and into the living room.

"Wow!" I hear him exclaim behind me and I stop so abruptly, he bumps into me. His eyes aren't on me though, they're bouncing all around the room. "I haven't been in here in years, though I have to say it looks better like this than when the Abbotts lived here. Mrs. Abbott had an … interesting way of decorating. Everything in here was pink and frilly and there were pictures of cats everywhere. She was allergic so she couldn't have any, but she more than made up for it with the pictures."

"I always seem to forget how much you know about this house," I tell him, smiling at the look of wonder on his face. "We don't have time today, but sometime soon I'll give you a tour since you've never seen the whole thing."

"Sounds great, baby. I can't wait." The wink he gives me when he lifts our hands and kisses the back of mine leaves me with a swarm of butterflies in my stomach and makes me want to fan my face because suddenly it's way too hot in here.

A light giggle from behind me causes even more warmth, but it's not the same kind.

"Are you going to stand there all day, or do you think you might introduce me to your young man?" Maggie asks as she stands up. Her eyes dance as she looks from me to Edward and then back again. She gives me a wink then takes a step forward.

"Edward, this is the wonderful Maggie O'Neil that you've heard me talk so much about. Maggie, this is my boyfriend, Edward Cullen."

Edward sticks his free hand out and then lets out a cute yelp when Maggie pulls him in for a huge hug and smacks her lips on his cheek.

"It's nice to meet you, Ms. O'Neil. Bella's told me a lot about you," Edward stammers, the tips of his ears glowing as red as my cheeks do when I get embarrassed.

It's nice to see that I'm not the only one with the awful affliction. Though, on him it's as adorable as hell; on me, I look like a boiled lobster.

"Well, aren't you just the sweetest, cutest thing ever; just as precious as Bella's said," Maggie says gleefully as she pinches his cheeks. She's enjoying teasing me far too much. When her eyes get a wicked gleam in them, I give her my most heated glare, which she just waves off like she's shooing away an annoying fly.

"Though, I have to say …" she begins and I can tell Edward's scared of what she's about to say by the way he's squeezing my hand hoping he's not about to be thrown overboard without a life jacket.

Maggie smiles and it's full of mischief, not that I really expect anything else. I see I'm not wrong when she continues, "I'm not sure how cute I'd have found you at oh say, two in the morning or some such hour."

"Oh, ah ... well, you see ... I um ..." Edward splutters and then snaps his head around, eyes wide and begging me to save him.

"Mags, hush." I giggle and point my finger at her. "Stop trying to scare him."

She throws her head back and laughs and the sound is exactly what I need. Well, that, and the feel of Edward's hand still tightly wrapped around mine. "Not trying to, dear, just stating a fact." She smiles again, and this time it's tender and sweet. "Edward, she's been a nervous wreck all day, so try to get her to relax on the way to your house. She's liable to work herself into quite the tizzy. For future reference, she tends to do that from time to time."

Edward chuckles and nods. "Yes, well, good to know."

I can tell he's not quite sure where he stands with Maggie. I can't help but enjoy him being a little flustered; it's nice to see he's not always so calm, cool, and collected.

"Okay, well you don't want to keep your parents waiting. It's been such a pleasure meeting you," Maggie says as she grabs his free hand. Her voice is laced with meaning far deeper than her words when she says, "I hope you come back before too long. We need a man around here once in a while."

"Thank you. I'd like that, Ms. O'Neil."

"Oh, no you don't. None of that Ms. stuff, makes me sound all old and uncool. Call me Maggie." She laughs. "Bella, don't forget your cookies and have fun, you two." She waves as she leaves the living room.

**EPOV**

I jerk my head back toward Bella. "Cookies? Did she just say cookies? I swear I just heard Maggie say you have cookies."

She smirks then turns to walk toward the kitchen, that perfect ass wiggling just to tease me. "Well, you can't expect me to show up to dinner empty-handed, can you? I want to make a good impression."

I reach out and slip my index finger beneath the waistband of her cute black pants and tug, holding on until she stops.

"Hey," I say softly as I take a step so that my chest is pressed to her back and rest my chin on her shoulder and my cheek against hers. "While I will never, ever, tell you not to make cookies, you really didn't have to do anything just to try to impress my parents. They will like you just because you're you, not because you happen to make the best damn sugar cookies since, well, ever."

"I think you might be biased," she whispers, though I can feel her cheeks lift in a smile.

"I love you," I tell her, because it's true and because I need her to know that no matter what she thinks will happen today, nothing can change the way I feel about her.

She sags against me. I wrap my right arm around her and lay my hand flat on her stomach, taking just a moment, because I can't help myself, to let my fingers slide beneath the bottom of her thin, white shirt. Her skin is warm and soft, just like I knew it would be. "Baby, please stop. I want you to have fun. I want to show off my gorgeous, amazing girlfriend to my parents and let them meet the person that makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. I know this isn't all that easy for you, but honestly, you're making this a much bigger deal than it needs to be. You don't have to dress up, you don't have to try to be something you're not - just be you, okay? Because you," I smile when she squeaks as I spin her around and slap both my hands on her ass and hold her to me, "are perfect, and mine, and you love me. Got it?"

"Got it." Her entire face lights up, eyes sparkling, and a smile so big it makes the twisty turny thing inside of me roar to life … not that it's not always ready to make its presence known whenever she's around.

"Now, can we get this show on the road? I'm starving and Mom's making her famous fried chicken for dinner."

She throws her arms around my neck and gives me the sweetest, but much too quick, kiss. "I'm sorry I've been so freaked out. I've never done this before and I really want your parents to like me is all."

I hold onto her. She feels too good against me and she's also forgotten one very important thing. I stick out my bottom lip, working the pout for all it's worth. "Um, isn't there something you need to say?"

She scrunches her nose and twists her mouth. I can tell the moment she realizes because her eyes widen and her cheeks get all pink.

"Ahhh! I love you, too!" She giggles as she gives me another kiss, then another, then one more, moving from lips to cheek to the end of my nose.

"There, much better," I say as I squeeze her ass one more time then swat it, before I push her away. "Now, grab those fuckawesome cookies and let's go."

She picks up a glass plate covered in cookies and wrapped in plastic. My mouth waters and immediately I try to figure out how to keep most of them for myself. Sharing is good and all, but these are Bella's cookies we're talking about … sharing can go take a flying leap when it comes to them.

"You can stop that train right now, Edward Cullen." She chuckles as she rolls her eyes at me, knowing me way too well. "These are for dessert and for your parents."

"But, Bella … you know how I feel about your cookies," I whine shamelessly.

"Oh, you big baby!" She turns and grabs a square container off the island. "That's why these are for you."

I cradle it against my chest. "You do love me." I sigh.

"Yep, even when you act like a goofball."

I open the front door for her and follow her to my car, opening that door for her as well. I help her inside, making sure that both she and the cookies are situated in the front seat.

"By the way, you look really pretty," I tell her, leaning down to kiss her again.

And she does.

She's wearing a pair of black pants that are short, stopping about mid-shin. I can't ever remember the name of them, but my mom likes to wear the same kind. Her shirt is white, short-sleeved and my favorite … tight. Her hair's up in a ponytail, showing off her sexy neck, just like I like it. The only make-up she's wearing is the lipgloss I've just about managed to kiss off and a little bit of eyeliner, and on her cute feet there's a pair of black flip-flops.

She looks fucking hot, not that I really expect anything else.

I slide into the front seat beside her and wink when she looks at me. "Love the hot pink toenail polish. Very nice."

She blushes, but the smile on her face I see as she looks out of her window when we take off lets me know she likes what I said.

The trip to my house flies by. I tell her about hanging with everyone last night. She teases me about the fact that she almost beat me yesterday when we went for a run together. I listen to a long-winded, convoluted ramble about Phil and the playoffs and her birthday.

My ears prick at that part.

"Wait, you're going to be gone for your birthday?" I question as my stomach drops at the thought.

I turn off the car because we're in front of my house, but I grab her hand before she can get out. "Bella?"

"No, I'll be here," she says and my heart starts beating again.

"Thank God," I mumble, thinking about all the plans I now don't have to try to rearrange.

She narrows her eyes at me. "And just what does that mean?"

Shit.

She really wasn't supposed to hear that.

"Nothing except that I don't want to miss spending your birthday with you. It's the first one we can spend together, you know."

"Hmmm." I know she doesn't believe me, but luckily she doesn't have time to question me any further.

"You ready?" I ask after a few moments of silence.

She swallows and takes a deep breath, before she nods. "As I'll ever be."

I hurry to open the door for her and take both the plate and the container of cookies out of her hands so I can help her out. So fast that not more than a few seconds pass and she's up, out, and now holding the plate while I clutch the container. The way we move together, being able to anticipate the next step, even for something as simple as this, tells me more about us than words ever could. She's such a part of me; I don't know if she even appreciates just how much.

I keep a hold of her hand and slide my fingers between hers, squeezing just a little bit as we walk up the front steps. My heart's beating about a million beats a minute, I can feel sweat drip down my back, and literally feel like if I wanted to, I could fly.

Not until right this second, standing on the welcome mat in front of my front door, do I really realize how much I've wanted this. Introducing Bella to my friends was important, but it doesn't hold a candle to her meeting my parents. That word forever whispers in the back of my mind again. I push it away for the time being, but not before I silently tell it to come back again soon, just not when I'm about to bring my girl home for the first time.

"Thank you for coming tonight, Bella. You have no idea how much this means to me," I whisper and then kiss her special spot right behind her ear. "You're the first girl I've ever introduced to my parents. Just thought you should know that."

She squeaks and I grin as I open the door, shouting, "Mom, Dad, we're here."

Footsteps come from two different directions; Mom's from the kitchen and Dad's from the living room.

Bella's grip on my hand is so tight I worry for a second I won't be able to play the piano for a few days.

Dad's eyes widen in surprise. One of Mom's hands grabs my dad's arm, the other covers her heart.

Yeah … I totally didn't tell them Bella's name for just this reason.

"Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend, Bella Swan. Bella, these are my parents, Carlisle and Esme Cullen."

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**Ahhhh! Yes, I totally left it there, and yes I'm mean, and I'm so not sorry. (Okay, I am, a little bit!) I did need to stop here though so I could spend the time on the dinner the way I want to. It'll be worth it, you'll see! **

**I'm so glad you all enjoyed the little outtake I posted yesterday! Guess what, after dinner's over, there'll be another surprise guest appearance, wonder who it'll be? **

**Honestly, you guys, just thank you for embracing this story the way you have! It just leaves me speechless … or as speechless as I can get!**

**See you Thursday! Still love me? Let me know …**


	11. Shielding

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters but the plot's all mine. **

**A huge thank you to all of you for being so patient with me. I haven't managed to get ahead yet with this story seeing as how it's the story that wasn't supposed to be, so I greatly appreciate the time to take a tiny breather. I'll try to stay on track as best I can, okay? **

**Now, we have a dinner to get to, so let's get to it! **

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~~**

**Chapter 10 - Shielding**

**EPOV**

I'm in trouble.

Lots and lots of trouble.

The quirk of Dad's left eyebrow, and the slight tilt of Mom's head, coupled with her narrowed eyes, leave little room for doubt. And even bigger signs of my impending doom - Bella's fingernails are digging into the palm of my hand and the fact that she hasn't taken a breath since we walked through the door.

It's like a moment in a movie, when everything freezes for a few frames, music plays in the background, the beat ramping up the tension until it's so thick you can feel it. Goosebumps break out, covering your skin. The hair on the back of your neck and on your arms stands on end. Your heart pounds, blood echoes in your ears, and chills walk up and down your spine. You have no idea what's coming next, but whatever it is, it's going to be huge.

Huge, as in bringing your girlfriend home for the first time.

I give my dad a look, silently screaming for help. The flash of a smirk lets me know he's going to enjoy my imminent ass kicking from my two favorite girls far too much. I shiver at the thought. The only other thing that can cause my balls to shrivel to the size of marbles is when Rose is pissed at me ... which thank fuck doesn't really happen too often.

Dad throws me a lifeline - one which I'm sure I'll have to repay. Probably by cleaning out the garage.

"Bella, it's so nice to see you again," he says warmly and with a very genuine smile on his face as he steps forward.

"You, too, Dr. Cullen." Bella smiles back. Her voice shakes, and I squeeze her hand to try to get her to relax. Or I think I squeeze; I still can't feel my fingers.

"Bella, it's so nice to meet you. I've heard so many wonderful things about you ... from my husband," Mom gushes as she takes her place next to my dad, then gives me a pointed look, letting me know that yes, I most definitely am in for it when dinner is over. "You're just as lovely as he said."

"Thank you. It's good to meet you, too. Edward's talked about you both so much." Bella turns to smile at me. Her cheeks are pink and her eyes are bright and I can't help but chuckle a little bit when she puffs her cheeks then exhales.

She takes my breath away.

"Mmmm, what do you have there?" Mom asks.

Bella squeaks adorably and hands the plate to Mom. "Ahhh, sorry! These are for dessert. I hope it was okay to bring something?"

"Oh, they're simply delightful! Carlisle, come see!" Mom grabs Dad's elbow and tugs so hard he stumbles over his feet. "Don't they look delicious? Come, Bella, let's take these to the kitchen where they'll be safe from those two." She grins at Dad and me while Bella looks like a scared kitten. "You can tell me your recipe." Mom hooks her hand in Bella's elbow and starts to lead her away, but reaches out with her other hand and places her fingers beneath my dad's chin. His mouth is hanging open and seriously, there's a bit of drool in the corner.

"Close your mouth, honey, it looks like Bella's made plenty."

We all laugh at Dad. I want so badly to reach out and grab Bella's hand and pull her back to me, but I don't.

Mom and Bella take a few more steps before Mom turns around and looks at me over her shoulder. "By the way, Edward, you might want to put that container in your room. That way when you give it back to Bella, you can give her the other one, too. You know, the one you brought with you to camp?"

Ah shit. I'm so busted.

Bella's eyes go wide; they're almost frantic when she looks at me. I try to give her a smile to reassure her, but I've swallowed my tongue and I can't breathe.

Mom giggles and then wraps an arm around Bella's rigid shoulders. I watch, entranced, as she leans in and whispers something in Bella's ear. Her soft laugh causes my heart to start beating again and then of course it flies away when she nods at my mom and they both laugh over whatever secret they've just shared. I can't take my eyes off Bella, even as she disappears with my mom.

I love her so much it's ridiculous.

Dad clears his throat beside me. "So, son, you got your own cookies I see."

"Yep." I smirk and waggle my eyebrows. "And they're all mine, too, old man, so hands off. Bella made more than enough for you guys."

He claps a hand on my shoulder. "Now, I know that your mother and I taught you to respect your elders, so hand one over and I'll forget to mention to her that there seems to be a section of her flower garden missing."

Oh no he didn't.

He holds his hand out and waits. Huffing and giving him the most annoyed glare I can, I open the lid. The aroma of vanilla and butter and sugar escapes and Dad and I both inhale, moaning appreciatively. I stare at the frosted bits of decadence. My mouth waters and I stick my tongue out, sampling the sugar cookie-scented air.

My girl is a fucking genius in the kitchen. Granted, I've never eaten anything of hers besides cookies, but still. I know she is. She has to be.

Dad wiggles his fingers and I take my sweet ass time deliberating which cookie to give him. Today she's made flowers, I'm guessing in honor of my mom. Most are covered with light pink frosting and some have multicolored sprinkles while others are decorated with squiggly lines of lime green, pale yellow, lavender, or sky blue. I give him one with the squiggly lines … no way I'm sharing my sprinkles, not even with him.

"Give me two and you don't have to take the trash out tonight."

I pick another one out and start to hand it to him.

"One with sprinkles." He smirks.

I snatch my hand back, shaking my head. "Uh uh, no way. Bella knows how much I love the ones with the sprinkles - they're my favorite."

"Fine." He huffs, sounding inordinately put out, like he's doing me a huge favor by giving in.

As if.

I'll take the trash out every night if I have to in order to keep all the sprinkles for myself.

"Don't spoil your dinner or Mom'll be upset," I quip as I head toward the stairs.

"Oh my God." Dad moans as he takes his first bite. I can't help but laugh. It seems I'm not the only one slightly obsessed with Bella's cookies. Okay, I might be more than slightly obsessed. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I get almost to the top of the stairs when I hear Dad's shocked voice, "Holy shit, these are the same as the kind left at the hospital all summer."

I chuckle. He'll figure it all out before too long.

I walk into my room and set the container on my desk, resisting the urge to eat a few myself.

My phone vibrates; it's a text from Jasper: _Does B have Dr and Mama C wrapped around her finger yet?_

He knows my parents so well.

I tap the button to call him back seeing as how I have a few minutes. Only a few though. I already miss Bella.

"Yo, dude, didn't anyone ever tell you it's not cool to talk on the phone at the dinner table?"

"You are such an idiot." I laugh. "You know Mom would have my ass if we were eating and I was on the phone."

"So, what'd they think of her? Where is she? What did Esme make for dinner?" he fires at me. I swear, he's such a chick about this kind of stuff.

"I'm pretty sure they both love her already, but I can't tell for sure yet. Mom already stole her and dragged her to the kitchen. Dad is inhaling the cookies that he bribed me for, so she's golden with him."

He moans. "Bella made cookies? When is she going to make some more for the rest of us?"

Oh yeah. Bella has left all kinds of cookie monsters in her wake. As long as she remembers that I'm the most important one, then we're all good.

"You can ask her tomorrow. Just make sure you don't let Emmett hear you say the word 'cookie.'" We both laugh at that because Emmett's almost as bad as I am, though he's a hell of a lot more shameless about it than me. By a long shot.

He snorts and I can almost see him rolling his eyes. "Are you kidding me? Bella's got that boy so turned inside out it's ridiculous. Besides Rose, I've never seen Emmett act like an idiot over a girl before ... well, except for Annie McGregor when we were in the seventh grade."

He's not kidding either. Between Rose and Emmett, it's a wonder any of us have managed to spend any time at all with Bella at school. One or both of them is always talking her ear off, dragging her through the hallway or perched beside her at lunch … basically trying to cut into my time with her. If I didn't know how much Bella needed to feel welcomed and like she belonged, I'd be pissed. But I do know. I also know it's important for Bella to develop her own friendships with people other than me, even if they happen to be with people I've known almost my whole life.

As much as I want to keep her to myself, I know I have to share. Doesn't mean I have to like it, but I'll do it for her. Honestly, it makes me damn happy to see her get closer to Emmett and Rose. They're good for her. Emmett makes her laugh, which she does far too little of in my opinion, and Rose, well she just gets Bella. I'm not exactly sure why that is, but she does, just like I knew she would.

My girl, she's dealt with so much. It's incredible to watch her find her way and let go, even if it's only a little bit at a time. Eventually she'll find her wings and be ready to fly.

As long as she takes me with her …

I've stopped talking long enough for Jasper to ask, "Hey, everything okay?"

Intuitive bastard. I swear, next year when we're not at the same school, I'll probably get phone calls in the middle of the night making sure I don't need to talk about my feelings or some shit.

"Yeah." I sigh and lean against the window in my room.

"That doesn't sound like a 'holy shit, my hot girlfriend's in my house' kind of sigh, Edward. What is it?"

"I just worry sometimes that this is all too much for her. You guys, school, everyone else at school, meeting my parents, dealing with her mom, having Phil so far away all the time. It's so fucking much, Jas. She's trying so hard, but I know it's overwhelming. How could it not be? She's pulled in different directions, all the time. By me, by her responsibilities. She wants to act like a normal teenager, but the whole fucked-up situation with her mom makes her so scared. Like last night, she wanted to go over to your house and hang out with us, but she couldn't make herself leave her mom. Then she was worried I was mad and you guys were disappointed, and then felt guilty because she wanted to stay home. How is she supposed to deal with all that shit?" I bang my head against the glass … a lot more frustrated than I let myself believe I was.

He laughs a little bit and says in his very annoying pain in the ass way, "You just wanted her there so the two of you could make-out with her like the rest of us were. Not that I blame you."

"Shut up, fucker." I huff, but laugh back.

He's not wrong though. Not about the making-out part. Just remembering Friday night makes my shorts way too fucking tight and I reach down and adjust before it gets painful. Touching her, her touching me, kissing her … feeling her, it was better than I ever imagined it would be. I want more of it, lots more of it. More of her, more of being with her.

"It makes me feel like such an asshole sometimes, because I want to be with her all the time, and then get mad because I can't."

As much as it makes me sound like a prick to say it out loud, it feels fucking good to finally get that off my chest.

"She's your girlfriend, you're crazy about her, so of course you want to be with her all the time. That doesn't make you an asshole, it makes you a horny eighteen-year-old, just like all of us other eighteen-year-olds," he says calmly, though I can tell he wants to roll his eyes at me. I bet he is anyway.

Jackass.

"I don't just want sex with Bella. I mean I _do_ want it; I'm a guy so of course I do, but not only that. Fuck, I can't even explain what I want." I rub my chest with my hand because it's tight and it feels like I can't get enough air into my lungs.

"Edward." He sighs. "It's okay to be frustrated. All of this is new for Bella, but it's hard for you, too. You've spent all summer watching her and getting to know her, training for camp, worrying about tryouts, college, and her. School this week's been crazy, we had a scrimmage on Friday, you were with Bella Friday night, us last night, and today she's meeting your parents. Cut yourself a fucking break, man. You don't have to always have everything under control, you know. No matter how much you want to, it's not gonna happen. So, try to chill the hell out and get ready to grub on some of your mom's awesome cooking. What did she make anyway? You didn't answer me." He changes the subject so smoothly that it takes me a moment to realize what he's done, but when I do, I take a deep breath then let it go.

He's always doing shit like that. Saying what needs to be said, then dropping it just as fast. He made his point, now he'll let me think about it.

It's what he does … and he's damn good at it, too.

I laugh, knowing I'm about to drive him crazy. "Fried chicken, homemade mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese, salad and biscuits. Oh, and not only do we get cookies, but Mom made apple pie, too."

He curses, growling louder with each one. "Sorry, Jasper. Mom wanted to go all out today … and that was before she knew it was Bella that was coming for dinner."

He snorts. "Holy shit, you didn't tell them who she was? You, my friend, are either incredibly stupid or fucking brilliant. Call me later and tell me how it goes - that is if you're not in a coma from all that food. Oh, and don't forget we have to run tomorrow, so keep that in mind when Mama C tries to get you to eat just one more scoop of mac and cheese."

I hang up on his laughing ass, feeling a lot better.

I knew I was getting frustrated. Not at Bella, never her, but at everything else. Jasper wasn't wrong about the past week - it _was_ fucking nuts. Intense and exciting and nerve-wracking and the best week ever all rolled into one. Now that Mom and Dad know about Bella, and once I get through the third degree that there is no getting out of, I hope things can settle down some.

I'm more than ready to be just Edward and Bella.

Deciding my mom has monopolized my girlfriend long enough, I head back downstairs. My phone vibrates again. Rose this time.

_Thinking about you and Bella, call me later!_

My friends fucking rock.

I drop my phone back into my pocket as I step into the kitchen, ready to collect my girl because I've been without her for far too long, but the sight in front of me freezes me in place.

One of Mom's hands rests on Bella's cheek, the other brushes a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. The action is so motherly, so tender, that I lose my breath. My chest tightens and the corners of my eyes sting with the onslaught of unexpected tears. I've never, ever, loved my mother more than right this minute as I watch her with Bella.

Bella needs this, needs the comfort and security of a mother so much.

"She's a very special girl," Dad says quietly as he stands beside me watching the poignant moment.

"She's everything."

It's the only thing I can say, but it says it all.

Dad gasps then looks at me, searching, probing. "You love her."

Not a question but a statement.

"With my whole heart and all that I am."

There's no hesitation, not even the tiniest waver in my voice. It's as easy to admit as breathing.

"You know her mother …" he says after a heavy pause.

I nod. "I know. But Bella's strong, so much stronger than she thinks she is."

"And her step-dad, he's …"

I turn and look at my dad. Confusion and worry as plain as day on his face. "I know, Dad. I know it all."

His eyes widen then narrow and I know his mind's going a mile a minute putting things together.

"I don't want to know how it's possible you are close enough to already have those feelings for her and know so much about her, do I?"

I scoff and then grin, shaking my head. "No, probably not."

I'm not lying. He really doesn't want to know and it goes without saying how much I don't want to tell him. Ever.

It's not so much that I'm worried about what he and my mom will say. They love me and trust me and I don't think I've done anything they would be too upset about. The watching her, maybe, but it's not like I used a telescope and watched Bella undress or take a shower. Watching her like I did is a little out there, even I can admit that, but it all turned out okay in the end.

Right?

That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

"Son," Dad says and his voice is laced with emotion. He lifts a hand and rests it on my shoulder and I can feel his concern flowing through his fingers. "Do you really know what you're getting yourself into? Bella is a lovely young woman, don't get me wrong, and I'm thrilled, ecstatic even, to see you so happy. But things with her mom and dealing with the guilt and the heartache she's sure to suffer from when Renée's body finally gives up … it's going to be hard. Are you ready for that?"

"I'll do whatever she needs me to do for her. Anything. I know what I'm doing, Dad, I promise. I love her."

I know there's more he wants to say. He wouldn't be Dad if he didn't, but it's not the time or the place for it.

"Trust me," I tell him before stepping into the kitchen, unable to stay away from Bella any longer.

"What are my two favorite girls up to in here?" I grin as I walk forward.

Mom rubs Bella's arm in a gesture meant to reinforce whatever she's just said to her and Bella's answering smile makes me smile. She looks so happy. And beautiful. And perfect.

And at home.

I can't even think about what that means right now - it's too much.

"Mom's not telling you lies about me, is she? She exaggerates. You can't believe a word that comes out of her mouth, I swear," I say as I wrap my arm around Bella's shoulder.

Having her next to me settles the explosion of nerves that have just erupted; they're gone as fast as they came. Not that they won't be back, because holy hell, between words like forever and home and everything, my mind's spinning way out of control.

"So if your mom was just telling me that you were the best son in the whole wide world, she's exaggerating about that?" Bella teases with a soft jab of her elbow in my side.

"Well, if she said that, then absolutely not. You should believe every word the brilliant woman says."

The smile on Mom's face when she sees Bella slide her arm around my waist and press herself closer to me makes me feel almost as good as Bella does being near enough for me to smell the intoxicating blend of peppermint and sugar cookies that never fails to turn me on.

Not the best thing to have happen standing less than two feet from your mom, but whatever. It's not like I can do anything about it. By this point, I can't stop it even if I wanted to.

"Carlisle," Mom calls to my dad as he walks in to join us. "Come help me carry everything to the table. Edward, you and Bella grab the lemonade and the iced tea, please, then we can all sit down to eat."

She and my dad walk out, loaded with platters and dishes, leaving us alone for a few precious moments. I turn Bella so that she's facing me and lean against the island, pulling her between my legs. I reach for her hands, taking one in each of mine and link our fingers together. So good. Jesus, the way it feels when I touch her. Warm and tingly and just so fucking incredible. I can't get enough, not ever. Not of her. Not of the way she smells or tastes or sounds when I kiss her, or when she laughs. Not of the way her voice shakes and gets all breathless and sexy when I press myself against her, or suck on the skin behind her ear.

I want her.

Always.

With me.

Forever.

"You okay?" I ask, forcing myself to focus on her, on the here and now.

She nods and the sweet smile on her face lets me know she really is. "Your parents are wonderful, Edward. Your dad is even nicer than he was before and your mom …" She sighs and I squeeze her hands to let her know I know what she's feeling … even if I don't, not totally. "Your mom is amazing."

"Eh, she's all right I suppose." I grin and shrug my shoulders when she scowls at me.

I know this is a touchy subject for her and I never know quite how to handle it. I love my mom. I've never been afraid to admit it or embarrassed to show it. And I know how much Bella wants to be able to do the same thing, to have her mom with her, even though she can't. I hate it, knowing that I have something she wants so badly and I can't give it to her.

Bella retreats like I expected. Her eyes stare off into the distance, her bottom lip immediately caught between her teeth and her mouth turns down in the tiniest bit of a frown. It doesn't last long, a few seconds at most, just long enough for her to pull herself together. When her eyes find mine, they're glassy and they break my heart.

"I love you," I tell her. I won't tell her it's okay when we both know it's not.

"Love you, too," she whispers.

I lean forward and kiss her. It's not anywhere near as long as I want or need it to be, but it's long enough that I hear her breathing change and feel the heat of her blush.

"Edward," Mom calls from the dining room, bringing our little moment to a close.

For now.

"Come on, we better get in there before they start without us. Dad!" I holler, pulling the pitchers out of the fridge and kicking the door closed with my foot as I turn around. "Save me the drumsticks."

I set the pitchers down on the table and then pull out Bella's chair before I take my seat beside her. Mom is on one end, Dad on the other. The table is covered with food and my mouth waters. Seriously, my mom makes the best fried chicken.

"Bella, dear, I hope there's plenty here you like to eat. Edward didn't mention anything specific when he told me we were having a guest for dinner." Ah, it's nice to see she's going to make me suffer for a bit.

"No, it looks great, Mrs. Cullen," Bella answers as she lays her napkin in her lap.

"Esme, sweetheart. Now, let's dig in before it gets cold."

Plates are passed and food is piled on. My dad keeps watching me, I'm watching Bella, and Mom watches the two of us. It's weird, but whatever. There's food to eat and my girl is next to me, so it's all good as far as I'm concerned. Small talk commences as the drinks are poured.

Dad hands me the bowl of salad and I serve some to Bella, making sure to pick out the tomatoes.

"What?" I question when both my dad and Mom are staring at me slack-jawed and wide-eyed.

"She doesn't like tomatoes. Ketchup yes, but tomatoes, no. I know it's strange but it's not like Dad and his buttermilk."

Bella giggles as she takes her plate from me. "Don't knock it, Edward, it's good."

"Thank you, Bella. I've been trying to get him to try it for years but he's too chicken." Dad laughs and then smirks at me. "See, I told you. Listen to her, you might like it."

I whip my head around and look at Bella, incredulous and honestly a tiny bit grossed-out. "And you want me to kiss you after that? No way, baby. That's just … yuck. I love you, but no." I shiver and shake my head; just thinking about it gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Dad chokes on the iced tea he unfortunately just took a drink of and Mom, well she looks like she wants to cry and laugh and probably kiss me all over my face.

Sometimes my parents are so odd.

I grin at Bella and then take a bite of my mac and cheese. Everyone else digs in and before long Dad has Bella talking about Phoenix.

This … having her here with me and my parents, laughing and sharing, is about the most perfect thing ever.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**EEEEE! This was sooooo much fun to write! You have no idea! So, did it go the way you thought it would? We're not quite done with it yet, so there will be a little more insight into the dynamics from dinner with the extra POV chapter I have planned for you all. It should be up on Wednesday. I know it's a holiday and all, but I think you'll enjoy it. **

**Be sure to check out the FB page and sign up for the blog. Lots of info goes there as the need arises. I always like to try to keep you guys informed as best I can. **

**les-16 . blogspot . com**

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**I hope you enjoyed this one. I tried to give you guys a little bit of everything. I've missed Jasper. Let me know what you thought, I love hearing from you! **

**See you Wednesday then again on Thursday! **


	12. Through His Mother's Eyes

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, the plot's all mine. **

**Happy 4th of July, everyone! This didn't exactly turn out like I imagined it would, but I hope you like it just the same. **

**Mama Esme has a few things to say, so let's get to it, shall we? **

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**Outtake #2 - Through His Mother's Eyes**

**Esme POV **

_And you want me to kiss you after that? No way, baby. That's just … yuck. I love you, but no._

Did Edward just …?

I glance at Carlisle, who's turning a bright shade of red. He gasps, trying to catch his breath after choking on his iced tea, and I realize that, yes, yes he did.

_Oh, my_.

Another quick glance at Carlisle and it doesn't take but a second to realize that he's not so much shocked by the words themselves, but that Edward's said them out loud … in front of me.

I file that away to ponder later, adding it to the list of other things like cookies, containers, Edward's sudden love for texting all the time, and a son that was way too eager to go back to school.

I look at Edward. My eyes water and my heart, well, it fills as I watch him grin at Bella and hear her sweet giggle in return.

His eyes shine and his smile … I'm not sure I've ever seen him smile so big or be so happy. Not ever.

My son is in love.

Can't say I saw this coming, especially since the little sneak didn't bother to inform me of exactly who our mystery guest was going to be. It makes sense now, I suppose, but that sure doesn't mean I'm not going to make him suffer just a little bit for keeping something as big as this from me. He has a girlfriend, and not just any girl … _the_ girl from the looks of things.

Bella Swan.

Wow … just wow.

"So, Bella, I imagine it's taken a little while to get used to all the rain up here as compared to Phoenix. Did you ever spend much time in the desert? I hear it can get quite cold at night, even in the summer. I've always wanted to see a Saguaro cactus," Carlisle, ever the inquisitor, asks after a few minutes have passed.

Bella nods her head and smiles at Carlisle before answering him. "Oh, yeah, the rain's been a little hard to deal with, but it's not bad. It's the cold and the damp more than anything that are the hardest. In Phoenix, everything was always so dry, dusty. Mom was always complaining about it. She'd say as soon as she dusted, she'd need to do it again, because all it did was come right back." Her smile falls and her bright eyes dim with the mention of her mother.

Edward leans over and whispers something in her ear and gives her a quick kiss on her cheek before he starts talking again, deftly changing the subject. It takes her a moment to rejoin the conversation. She hangs her head for a few seconds, eyes closed and a wrinkle in her forehead. She bites her bottom lip, as if she's trying to hold something in, then she slowly takes a deep breath before raising her head. Edward's eyes immediately find hers and the love and concern that pour out of them makes my heart stutter in my chest.

My sweet, amazing boy.

Carlisle asks Bella about school and she and Edward begin telling him about the first book they have to read for English class.

After all I've heard about her, both from my husband and the rather nosy and opinionated women in town, I have to say Bella's not at all like I imagined. She's beautiful, not that it's important, though I'm quite sure my son doesn't mind. She was obviously nervous when she walked through the door a little while ago, but looking at her now, laughing at my husband and teasing Edward, you'd never know it. She's charming and sweet, and judging from the moans I heard from Carlisle earlier when he thought he was being stealthy, a very talented baker. She's polite and respectful. She very clearly cares about my son a great deal. I didn't expect that either, to be honest, considering I assumed I'd be dining with someone I've known since they were in elementary school.

I'm definitely not on my game because I really should have known that he wasn't bringing home just anyone. He's never brought a girl home before. Ever. Not that he's been a hermit or anything, but Edward has always been on the fringes, watching, a part of things, but he's always held himself back. Between his love of music and his dedication to soccer, it's not surprising, even though it has caused me more than a few sleepless nights, wondering, worrying as moms are prone to do.

_Is he happy?_

_Should I be concerned he's never had a serious girlfriend?_

_What is he going to do when high school is done and he has to go out on his own?_

_Will he be ready?_

_Will I?_

_Is he going to destroy my pool while we're gone? _

On and on and on sometimes.

I worry. It's a mother's right and part of the job description before your child is even born.

To prove my point about my sorely lacking instincts even further, I realize as my eyes continue to slide to Edward and Bella, that he's been different all week. Thinking farther back, he's been different since we got back from Alaska. Lighter … freer even, definitely more focused. I know he enjoyed his freedom while we were away and was looking forward to going to camp so that could explain part of it. But more than anything he was …

Happy.

Truly, supremely happy.

Again - _oh, my_.

Pieces continue falling into place, the picture becoming clearer.

Conversation flows and though I nod and smile when I'm supposed to, even interject and add a few comments here and there, mostly I watch.

I watch the way Edward leans toward Bella, even as he talks to Carlisle. I notice how when Carlisle brings up what Edward thinks might be a sensitive subject, his eyes are immediately on Bella, making sure she's okay. The way he touches her, looks at her, smiles at her … it's plain to see that their relationship is more than a few days old. A lot more than a few days. It's not just Edward either - it's Bella as well. Her cheeks flush when Edward looks at her, her eyes brighten, her smile is only for him. She draws strength from him. It's in the way she leans toward him and breathes him in, as if sharing the same air and holding it inside her body somehow makes it easier to breathe.

It's so much, so soon … _too soon_?

More things to mull over later.

"Bella, I see Phil's Mariners are headed for the playoffs. Are you planning on attending any of the games?" Carlisle asks and tries to unobtrusively add another scoop of macaroni and cheese to his plate.

I quirk my eyebrow at him. He knows better, but he smirks and shovels a forkful in his mouth anyway. And he wonders where Edward gets his penchant for pushing things to the limit, just because he thinks he can get away with it.

The fact they both get away with far too much, frequently, probably doesn't help matters a whole lot.

Bella sort of shrugs at Carlisle's question and Edward's arm stops midway to his mouth as he turns his head to watch at her, looking half-afraid of her answer. "I don't think so. It's hard to be away from …" She lets her voice taper off.

We all know what she means; it's the elephant in the room after all.

I open my mouth to say something to ease the abrupt tension, but of course my words aren't needed. Edward drops his fork, completely ignoring the angry clatter it makes as it bounces on his mostly empty plate.

He twists in his chair so that he faces her. His hands lift and he gently, as if he was cradling the most precious of things, places them on her cheeks.

"Baby," he whispers, totally oblivious to his father and me. The only thing he sees, the only person who matters, is Bella. He tenderly brushes the tears off her splotchy cheeks and then leans forward and kisses her forehead, once, then again.

My heart squeezes and my own eyes fill with tears. Tears for this beautiful young woman who possesses such incredible inner strength. Whose whole being lights up when she looks at my son. Who has been nothing but gracious and grateful, even in the midst of all she's lost. Tears for my son who has suddenly, and right before my eyes, turned from boy to man. Who has taken everything his father and I have taught and modeled by example, and shared it with someone who is more than worthy of his exceptional heart.

"Esme, are you okay, sweetheart?" Carlisle asks from across the table, as I splutter and gasp while I choke on the sudden rush of emotion bubbling its way up my throat. I wave him off, but he holds my gaze for a few moments, long enough for us to have a silent, meaningful conversation.

_Our boy's in love_, his eyes tell me.

_Our boy's finally found his way,_ mine tell him back.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**So … this was a little heavier than I anticipated it being, but necessary I think. There will be some more mentions of dinner and don't think Esme or Carlisle have let Edward off the hook just yet, it just wasn't time, here. **

**Next chapter we'll be back to Bella and some much needed girl time with Rose. **

**Speaking of next time, um … so sorry to say this, but there won't be an update on Thursday. I won't bore you with reasons or excuses, but yeah, I am not happy about it. I miss my schedule as I'm sure you all do, too. Give me a little more time, I'll get back on it. **

**So, **_**Drumsticks and Penalty Kicks**_** is up for Fic of the Week over at the Lemonade Stand along with some other fantastic authors (my soul sister prettykittyartist) and some great stories. So check them out and vote for your faves, okay? **

**www . tehlemonadestand . net**

**Hope everyone has a wonderful and safe holiday!**

**Leave me some love, won't you? This one was harder than I thought it would be! **

**See you Monday … **


	13. Too Many Cymbals

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, the plot's mine. **

**Hope everyone has had good week! I don't know about y'all but that holiday smack dab in the middle got me all out of whack. But the good news … I seem to be back on track (for the time being anyway!) **

**Thanks again for all the love and support you always show me and our Creeper and Drummer Girl! It means the world to me. **

**So, let's see what's up with Bella. She's got a lot on her mind! **

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**Chapter 11 - Too Many Cymbals**

**BPOV**

"Rose."

A roll of summer sky blue eyes. "No."

I pout. "Please?"

"No, Bella." She adds a huff and a glare.

"Come on, one hint. Edward let it slip you were helping him. Just a little tiny hint. You know you want to." She's going to cave, I know it.

She puts down the socket wrench and wipes her greasy hands on her stained, chambray-colored coveralls. "Will you drop it? Jeesh, you're as bad as Alice when Jasper's trying to keep a secret. You'll find out when it's your birthday and not before, so stop trying to make me break my promise to Edward."

"I'll ask Emmett; he loves me. He'll tell me." I grin at her, thinking I've found my ace in the hole.

"Go ahead and ask, but he doesn't know, so you're pretty much shit out of luck with that one, sweetcheeks." She laughs when I stomp my foot and growl at her.

I'm not really mad … at least not very much. Knowing that Edward's planning something for my birthday is killing me though.

"Fine," I concede, grudgingly. Honestly, I don't want to upset Edward by finding out beforehand, even if I really, really want to know what he's going to do.

"It's only another week, you big baby. You can wait."

I scoff and tighten the bolt on the engine, jerking my arm with a lot more force than completely necessary.

I have no doubt I'll love it … whatever the hell it is.

"You're going to love it though," she singsongs at the same time.

"Bitch." I laugh and nudge her with my hip as we lean over the piece of crap 1995 Chevy Caprice in auto shop. Or rather, it was a piece of crap until Rose and I got our hands on it. It gets closer to a working piece of art every day.

Rose scoots back and then pops her head up, looking over the raised hood. "Hey, Mr. Garcia, Bella and I are going to replace the carburetor and put in some new shocks, okay?"

He grunts, snorts, and shakes his head all in one continuous movement, just like he always does when it comes to the two of us, before he waves us off with a nod, mumbling, "Girls."

It's pretty much his standard reply when it comes to me and Rose, as if the single word explains everything. The first day of class when Rose and I walked in together, the man looked positively apoplectic, like he'd never seen a girl in his life. Who knows, maybe he hasn't, but really? Hasn't he ever seen Marisa Tomei kick ass in _My Cousin Vinny_? Ever since we both proved, quite soundly and rather impressively if I do say so myself, our automotive knowledge by reciting the mechanics of the standard internal combustion engine he pretty much leaves us to our own devices … as do the rest of the guys in class. Rose likes to tease them. Actually, what she really likes is making them look like idiots for not knowing as much as she does, whereas I just like to lose myself for an hour … and maybe get rid of some pent-up frustration by twisting and turning and sometimes banging away on a motor. Most of the time the frustration is of the Heidi and Bree variety, but sometimes it's Edward's fault. When he's to blame, it's usually of the sexual persuasion.

Oh yeah, the boy has undoubtedly had me so flustered since our "date" two weeks ago, I hardly know which way is up these days. Between sweet kisses every chance he gets at school, the not-so-sweet but totally hot things he whispers daily in Spanish class … in both languages … on top of a few extremely intense make out sessions after school in his car or mine, it's a miracle I manage to get up and dress in clothes that match every day.

And let's not forget the last few letters he's left in our notebooks. Damn. It's enough to keep me in a constant state of arousal. Jesus, the letters are so steamy they make me blush just thinking about them.

_Bella, I can't wait to be inside of you_

_I want to taste you, all of you, every inch and everywhere_

_When you moan my name, I can feel it_

_Your hands, your mouth, yours are the only ones I'll ever want_

_I will love you forever _

_Please always be mine _

I swear, the boy is going to melt my panties right off my body one of these days.

"Earth to Bella." Rose smirks and arches a perfectly-sculpted eyebrow at me. I'm hot all over, and I know my face is scarlet. "That must have been some daydream. Do you need a moment to ah … you know …" She snickers and wiggles her eyebrows. She knows exactly what I was thinking about. Well, I hope not exactly, but close enough for me to want to sink into a hole and never come out again.

"Oh, God, Rose …" I groan, mortified, and vow to kill Edward the moment I see his sexy ass. This is all his fault for being … well, so damn irresistible.

She giggles and straightens up. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I love Emmett more than my car, but that doesn't mean I'm blind. Edward's hot, always has been and he's even more so now that he smiles all the damn time. He can't seem to keep his hands off you for more than two minutes whenever you two are together. The boy is one hundred percent, without a doubt, crazy in love with you, and not the least bit shy about letting anyone know it. That's always sexy and irresistible, you know, wanting what you can't have, but he's completely off the market as much as Heidi and Bree wish it weren't so."

I snarl … _snarl … _at the mention of their names, which only makes Rose laugh harder.

"You can't blame them for trying, but Edward doesn't even see them. The only person he wants is you."

I sigh.

I smile.

Because it's true.

So, very, very true.

"I love him so much," I whisper, not at all worried about admitting such a thing to Rose.

She sets her wrench down and leans against the side of the car. The rest of the class is occupied doing whatever and Mr. Garcia has his nose buried in the newest issue of _Automotive Weekly_, so no one is paying any attention to the two of us. Not that they do much of that anyway, except for the times we catch one or more of the perverts staring at our butts as we bend over the engine. My stomach is rumbling, all knotted and twisted. Not in a bad way, but in a nervous 'I really need to talk to someone who's not supposed to be a mother figure' type of way.

Like a best girl friend kind of way.

I've needed this ever since dinner at Edward's house. Needed to talk to someone about all the feelings and worries and confusing thoughts I have. The thought of talking to Maggie makes me want to throw up. And Phil, um … not just no, but hell no. I'm not confused about Edward, but it's everything else. I guess it's kind of Edward, too, because most things these days are about him, even if it's in some roundabout way.

I feel like I'm going out of my mind sometimes.

"Spill it, sister. What's got you all frazzled?"

I stare at her for a moment. Her blue eyes could so easily be cold and calculating, but instead they're as warm as the Caribbean Sea. "I don't know what I'm doing half the time. Edward's totally amazing and I know he loves me, probably just as much as I love him. I get scared that he's going to get tired of waiting for me and decide I'm not worth all the hassle."

"Bella," she says softly and without even a hint of the condescending attitude I've seen her put off more than a few times. "Why do you think he's going to give up on you … which will never - fucking ever - happen, just so you know."

"It could," I argue stubbornly.

Not that I want it to happen. Just thinking about it makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry, but I'm not stupid. A whole lot frustrated and scared sometimes, though. She huffs, sounding a bit more annoyed, but mostly just confused.

_Join the club._

"He tries so hard," I begin and stare at the ground. "He thinks I don't see or can't tell, but I know he gets disappointed with me when I feel like I need to be at home instead of out with him or hanging out with you all. It's not that I don't want to, you know?" The question is meant to be rhetorical, but she answers anyway.

"No, Bella. I don't know."

When I look up at her, her eyes are shimmering with tears. So very un-Roselike.

She shrugs her shoulders and purses her mouth before she starts. "None of us has ever been in your shoes so how can any of us know what you're feeling? And Edward doesn't get disappointed with you. He just hates feeling helpless. He would do anything for you, give you anything, and the one thing you want more than anything else is your mom back. All he wants is for you to be happy. It's hard for him to see you sad, and he's a guy so he probably doesn't always handle that like he should, but he tries."

Rose. She's such a softie. She only lets a few people see this side of her. Thank goodness I'm one of the lucky few that do.

"I know, Rose." I sniff and look up at her again.

"I do know," I say a bit more emphatically, though I think that's more for my benefit than for hers. "It's everything else, too."

She chuckles a little bit and tilts her head to the side, motioning me to the two battered, mismatched plastic chairs in the corner by the workbench. Once she unzips her coveralls and lets them hang from her waist, she sits, faces me, and says, "Go."

So I do.

"Dinner at his house was so incredible … his parents, especially his mom, seeing them together, just being in that environment … it was everything I thought it would be and more. I was so nervous I'd make a fool out of myself, but they were nothing but welcoming." I ignore the snort she lets loose at the very obvious understatement and keep going. "Ever since then, it's like some sort of switch has been flipped, and not just for Edward, but for me, too. He's flirtier than ever, always touching me or whispering all kinds of sweet and not-so-sweet things in my ear and when he kisses me …" I have to take a deep breath and press my fingers to my cheeks in a pitiful attempt to cool the rush of heat that I know has turned my face into the color of a stoplight.

"When he kisses me," I breathe out, "it's like I can feel it … everywhere. My toes, the tips of my fingers, hell, I think even my ears and my elbows tingle. I've never felt like this before, about anyone, ever. This all-consuming, mind-blowing, totally terrifying feeling of being completely out of control. I'll walk through my house sometimes and forget where I'm going. I'll sit at my drums and start thinking about him and the next thing I know, thirty minutes have passed. In Spanish class, I sometimes think about what would happen if I just turned around, climbed over the desk and kissed him senseless. When we're in English and Mrs. Peterman is lecturing and we're supposed to be taking notes, I miss half of what she says because I can't stop staring at his fingers and remembering what they feel like when he touches me." I'm spewing so fast, words bubbling out of my mouth, I'm not even sure I'm making sense at this point.

"I want to be with him … all the time. Not just a few frantic minutes between classes or rushed kisses in the parking lot before he has to go to practice. I want to sit on the couch and watch TV with him, even if it's that ridiculous _Full Metal Jousting_ show he loves so much. I want to hang out with you guys at Jasper's house. I want to go to a football game on Friday night and then to a party, where we'll find a corner and make out; or spend a few hours doing totally teenager things like beer pong or where me, you, Ali, and Ang laugh at our boyfriends for acting like idiots. I want to go with you and Alice to Seattle to watch the guys play soccer. I want to go out on a date with my boyfriend. Dinner, a movie, a walk to get ice cream, and then end with making out until our lips hurt." I sigh and choke on my words as I try to finish because I'm about four seconds from completely losing it. "I just want to be normal and do normal things like any other eighteen-year-old girl with a hot, sexy boyfriend … and I can't."

Rose doesn't speak for a few uncomfortable minutes. I can tell by the way she keeps huffing and the way her eyes are furtively bouncing from object to object that she's working her way up to saying something - obviously something I most likely don't want to hear. She'll say it anyway. She's Rose, it's who she is … honest to a fault.

"It's not that you can't, Bella; it's that you won't."

Her words steal my breath and without thinking I'm on my feet, ready to tell her to go to hell, birthday secrets and carburetors be damned.

She holds her hands up and her eyes glisten, unshed tears and a dip between her eyebrows, too.

Seeing her upset takes the fight right out of me and I fall back into my seat. My heart still clenches and my stomach knots because I'm not sure I'm ready to hear what she's about to tell me. "When Edward first told me about how he found you, stalked you, then fell for you, my first instinct was to roll my eyes and want to slap him upside his head."

Unable to stop myself, I snort and flash her a quick smile. "That's your first instinct to everything everyone says!"

"Shut it, Swan." She grins, but it falls as fast as it appears. "But listening to him talk about you, about your mom and what you've been through, and about your dad, too - he was literally in pain."

A sob escapes and I clap my hands over my mouth.

My Creeper.

Always so ready to take on the world for me.

Rose sighs, but it's not in annoyance or anger, not at all. Instead, it's full of empathy … not pity, thank you very much … and friendship. She squats down so that she can look me in the eyes and in a sisterly gesture that brings even more tears, she pushes a strand of wayward hair behind my ear. "He loves you, Bella. You're his whole world and I've never seen him happier than he's been over the last few months, since he found you. And all he wants is for you to be happy. I think …" She falters and then takes a deep breath, then another before she starts again. "I think your mom would want the same, too. I might not understand what it's like for you, but I can imagine how afraid you must be to try to carry on without her."

She softens her voice until it's barely above a whisper and looks at me. A few tears fall from her eyes and I can't help but watch as they slowly slide down her cheeks. She finishes, saying, "But I think you need to keep trying, even if it's hard and even if it scares the shit out of you. Spending every day too scared to be happy isn't living at all … it's just existing."

"But, Rose … I don't … I can't … I just …" I stutter between shaky breaths.

She squeezes my hands and stands up. Looking down at me she says softly, "Just think about it. We just got you, we'd like to play with you, too, even though Edward's never been very good at sharing." I chuckle a little, feeling lighter and like the tight knot that had settled in my chest has loosened just a bit. She grins and her eyes sparkle. "Mrs. C always used to pack extra cookies in his lunch when we were younger and that jackass never shared one damn time!"

"Why doesn't that surprise me? He sure does love his cookies," I tell her and then brace myself when I see Rose's mouth twist in a knowing grin.

"Well, he sure loves _your_ cookies, Swan."

"Shut it, Hale."

The final bell rings just as Rose and I remove our coveralls. I follow her out of school and into the parking lot, lost in my own head as I think about what she said. I hear Emmett holler for Rose and she waves goodbye before hurrying toward him. As I watch Em wrap her up in a big hug that lifts her off her feet and hear her giggle float through the air, I can't help the surge of wistfulness that spreads through me. She and Alice are leaving in the morning to watch the guys play their first match of the season in Seattle. They asked me to go, but I told them I couldn't.

I think back on what Rose said and amend my thought; I could go, I just won't.

Then I think of my mom, lying in her bed day after day after day. Can she hear me when I talk, sense me next to her or feel when I hold her hand? I hope so. I want to believe it so badly, but as more days turn into more weeks, my faith that she'll come back to me fades. I still cling to the belief that she will, but it's getting so hard.

But what if she opened her eyes, even for a split second, long enough to look at me, and I wasn't there? If she was all alone? Just the thought is enough to stop me dead in my tracks and for my chest to heave and tears to spring into my eyes.

Just when I feel like I'm about to fall completely apart, there are two arms around my waist.

"Hey, baby." Edward's voice washes over me and fills every part of me.

He spins me around and the smile on his face falls the second he sees me. "Bella, oh God, what is it?"

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**So, I know this was a little heavy, but Bella's got lots of heavy things on her mind these days. She wants to do one thing but her heart pulls her in the other direction. Don't worry, Edward, Rose, and the rest will help her through. Next chapter picks up right from here (there might be lemony goodness, too) then it's birthday time. **

**Stick with me, okay? We're going to have some ups and downs. **

**Don't forget about signing up for the blog or joining the group on FB. **

**Let me know what you thought would you, this one was hard for me to write for some reason! **

**See you Thursday … **


	14. The Drag

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own the plot. **

**Hello, hello! I'm so happy to be back! Thanks for the patience and understanding - you guys have been so supportive and I appreciate it so much. **

**To my girls: Laurel, J'me, Bornonhalloween, and Robsmyyummycabanaboy … Thank you doesn't even come close to what I need to say to you all. You're my rocks and I couldn't do this without you! To Becky, Caren, and Kassiah … I love you girls, simple as that. **

**Now, let's see what our boy and his girl are up to!**

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**Chapter 12 - The Drag**

**BPOV **

His eyes sweep up and down and side to side, taking inventory to make sure there's nothing physically wrong with me. His hands flutter as if he's not sure if it's okay to touch me and I wonder what in the hell he sees that's making him freak out so much. Immediately, I reach for his hands to still them because he's making me feel worse with each passing second. I hate seeing him upset, especially when it's about me.

"Edward, stop," I implore as I hold his hands down beside his legs. "I'm fine."

He shakes his head. "You're not fine. Your eyes are glassy, the tip of your nose is red, and your bottom lip was just between your teeth. You only bite your lip when you're upset or when you're trying to drive me crazy, and since I wasn't here, that leaves upset. Now, what's wrong? Did someone say something? Did you and Rose get in an argument?"

I huff and roll my eyes, a lot stunned that he recognizes so much and a little scared because he does. I don't say anything as I try to decide what to tell him because it's not like there's any one big thing, there's just a bunch of little things.

"And don't even think about telling me nothing or that you're fine; you know I hate that." He pouts a little bit which makes me smile, but I know he's serious.

He really does dislike it when I tell him nothing's wrong and that I'm fine when he can plainly see I'm not.

"Bella, come on, you're killing me here."

"I'm going to tell you; I just don't know what to say or where to start. It's just Rose and I were talking in Auto Shop …" I start and that causes him to grin.

"You were trying to get her to spill about your birthday, weren't you?" He looks much too proud of himself, all smug and smirking with his eyes bright and shiny. It's so annoying even though he's totally right.

Damn him.

"Well, yeah, and she wouldn't tell me anything just so you know, but that's not what it is. It's, I don't know, just all kinds of things." I let go of one of his hands and take a few steps away because suddenly I'm feeling the need for some space, which in and of itself makes me even more upset because I never want or need space from Edward.

"Hey, come here." His voice softens and he tugs on the hand that's still engulfed in his.

I go willingly, not even caring that he's hot and sweaty from soccer practice. It's Friday which means no staying after school, and right now I'm very grateful for that fact, even more so when his arms wrap around me and pull me close.

The parking lot is still full and I hear people all around. Doors slam, shouts of plans for the weekend, horns honk, tires squeal and I burrow my nose into his chest. His gray t-shirt is dark with sweat but he smells so good.

There are a few catcalls and whistles. The moment's pretty much ruined when Edward groans at Alec's dumbass comment about us needing a room. Not that the idea doesn't have merit mind you, but I'd rather not hear Alec mention it. Especially right now.

He leans down and kisses the top of my head before he shifts us so that he can see me.

"Do you have to go home right away?" he asks.

I stifle the immediate instinct to yes, which only serves to tell me how much I don't need to go home and how much I do need to talk to him. Everything Rose and I talked about just an hour before is swirling in my head like a hurricane, churning and gaining strength with each passing second. I need to talk to him. I need him to help me.

I need him.

I can't even talk right now, so I just shake my head.

Tears gather in the corners of my eyes and my nose burns - a sign that my breakdown is only seconds away.

Shit.

"Bella? Fuck," he hisses and pulls me toward him. He kisses the top of my head absently while he has a silent argument with himself.

I step back and lift my hand to lay it on his cheek. "I'm fine, promise. Where did you want to go? Your house?"

He shakes his head. "No."

His eyes bore into mine and my heart skips a beat. Those Jolly Rancher green eyes always see far more than should be possible. "We need some time alone together, just us. No interruptions, no one watching us, only you and me. Will you follow me?"

"Of course," I answer with no hesitation. "I'll always go where you go."

"Bella." He sighs then kisses me quickly on the lips. "You have no idea what you do to me," he whispers.

I smile, breathing easier the instant he slides his fingers between mine and leads me to my car.

He wiggles his fingers, waiting for me to give him my keys, which is really awkward considering I have to dig in my backpack with one hand. I finally manage to pull off some sort of pretzel move with my arms while I balance my backpack on my leg and slap my keys in his palm with a huff.

"You could have helped, you know," I grump and then scowl at him when he chuckles.

"And miss you twisting around so that the vee of your shirt gives me the perfect glimpse of your spectacular boobs. I think not, Drummer Girl." His eyes blaze and change from green apple to the color of the pine trees I can see over his shoulder. I'm mesmerized and I feel my nipples harden as he takes a step forward, trapping me against the side of my car. He leans in and rubs his nose along my cheek and my heart thunders in my chest. He's hard and hot all over and having him this close to me makes it difficult to breathe. His fingers lightly skim the inside of my arms that hang limply on either side of me. I shiver; my skin's covered in a field of goosebumps.

"We're going to talk. You will tell me what's been on your mind the past few days, and close your mouth because of course I noticed." He grins all proud-like and kisses the tip of my nose. He leans in closer, his warm breath fanning the skin behind my ear, and my breath catches in my throat. "Then we're going to climb into the backseat of your car because it's bigger than mine and I need the room." He lowers his voice until it's nothing but grit, rough but at the same time smooth, like satin over gravel and it makes my insides so topsy-turvy I sway. _Christ Almighty_. "So I can kiss you until you see stars."

My knees threaten to buckle.

My brain's a scrambled mess.

I feel hot all over.

Especially in between my legs.

Oh, my.

Somehow I find myself sitting in the driver's seat and Edward's leaning over me so he can put the key in the ignition. His smell fills the car and I can't help but deeply inhale. I know he hears me because the back of his hand brushes across the front of my shirt, right where my nipples are already hard and sensitive. The Escalade hums to life and I feel the cool draft of the air conditioning, though it really does nothing to cool off the heat that's spread through every part of my body.

I have a feeling I'll be hot all over until I can get home and get into a cold shower … my new favorite place to hang out these days.

"Be careful, okay and stay behind me. We're going a little bit out-of-the-way, but it should only take about fifteen minutes to get there. You're good to drive?" Standing, his eyes hold mine until he's convinced I'm fine.

"See you in a few." One last kiss and he's jogging to his car, not once looking back, but there's no doubt in my mind he knows I'm watching him.

A road fit more for an ATV than an Escalade, a steady stream of curse words that would put Phil's teammates to shame, and a sore neck from bouncing in my seat so much and we arrive at Edward's out-of-the-way destination. I get out of the car, careful to make sure I don't slip and bust my ass, and take in our surroundings. Out-of-the-way? If we were any more out-of-the-way we'd be in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Edward narrows his eyes at me as he approaches, holding his hands out to try to ward off what he knows I'm about to say. "Save it. We need to be alone and this place is perfect. If my car can make it, your beast can. Now, pop the lock on the back and come sit with me, we've got some talking to do."

I really want to be annoyed with him for being such a pain but I can't. I know he's worried. I can tell by the way his eyes bounce around my face as he searches for clues and the way he keeps running one hand in his hair over and over. He doesn't fool me at all with his calm, cool demeanor. I almost wish he could.

He holds his hand out to me and waits while I press the button for the latch on the back doors. Once he gets us situated, and I'm very comfortably and quite securely settled between his legs with his arms wrapped tightly around me, he leans down and presses his lips against my temple. "It's just you, me, and the trees, so talk to me, baby. Please?"

And there is the Edward I know and love with every piece of my heart … and all the rest of me, too.

I trace the outline of his hands as they rest on my stomach with the tip of my finger. "Your fingers are so strong - just perfect," I mutter absently and to my own ears my voice sounds far away and dreamy.

It's not at all what I meant to say, not really what I was even thinking about, but looking down at his hands, seeing them holding me, protecting me, the words are out before I even realize it.

"Strong enough to help you with whatever you need. Tell me, Bella. You know we don't hide things from each other. I've been able to tell all week that something's bothering you. Is it me? Did I do something? I can't fix it or apologize if you don't tell me what I did."

Of course he automatically assumes it's his fault.

My sweet Edward.

I squeeze his hands. "You most definitely don't owe me an apology, you big goof. No one's done anything; it's me. I just have a lot on my mind is all."

"Talk to me, share it with me. Let me help," he whispers.

A soft breeze stirs the trees as I stare at them while I try to put my thoughts in order. I hear a rustle of leaves off to my left, just barely in my line of sight, and I smile at the small squirrel that skitters across the pine straw, its bushy tail twitching as it hops over the ground. It's so peaceful here. There's not a sound save for the occasional snaps and cracks as unseen animals scurry through the forest. The air has just a trace of cool layered between the warm, gentle wind. Edward's arms tighten around me when I shiver as a gust stirs the air and slithers beneath my hair and meets the slightly damp skin on the back of my neck.

I scoot back closer to him and pull his arms tighter around me, not cold in the least, but I need to feel him. All of him, around me, everywhere. I can feel his heartbeat, steady and sure against my back. His breath is even in my ear and his lips find places to kiss every few seconds: my cheek, my neck, the top of my head.

It's heaven and I really could stay here for hours and not mind it for one second.

He waits. I can tell he's anxious for me to begin talking, so I don't put it off any longer. "It's not just one thing, there's lots of stuff. The last few weeks have been kind of crazy, you know. Hell, the past few months."

He chuckles and rests his chin against my head.

"Yeah, but they've been crazy good, right?" His voice is hesitant, like he's unsure.

Silly boy.

"The best," I answer and feel him smile.

"It's been hard, too, sometimes, and I get confused and scared and I worry," I say quietly. I try to keep my voice steady but I know he hears it when it wavers.

"Shhh, I know, baby, but you've done so damn well, and you know I'll always be here," he affirms, his voice sure and strong, completely opposite of mine.

"Maybe not."

Silence. Heavy and suffocating. The air stills but vibrates, crackles, with an intensity that makes my insides take a nose dive then explode in a jumble of nerves.

"I'm going to assume there's a really good fucking reason for what you just said," he rasps and he's not angry, he's hurt.

I'm such a bitch.

"Oh, Edward, no, that's not … ugh … I didn't mean … shit." I can feel hot tears drip down my cheeks. I scramble and twist around until I'm sitting up and facing him. There's a frown on his face and I want to die for putting it there.

"Then, why in the hell would you say something like that? Do you think I'm lying every time I tell you I love you and I'm not going anywhere? That I've just been blowing smoke up your ass all this time? I … I don't understand."

He hangs his head and I'm up on my knees with my arms wrapped around his neck. I kiss him over and over, mournfully apologizing in between silently telling myself I'm due for a hell of an ass kicking later.

"Oh, God, Edward. Of course I know you love me. I love you, too, so, so much!"

"Okay then, talk to me. What's going on that you'd doubt me, even for a second, Bella?" His normally bright eyes are dull and I hate that I've made him question, even for a moment, me … _us_.

Sitting cross-legged in front of him, I reach for his hands and pull them into my lap before I take a deep breath then tell him about mine and Rose's conversation, not leaving out anything. And I do mean anything. I don't miss the arched eyebrow or the very self-satisfied smirk on his face when I repeat what I told her about him. I blush through that whole part, but Edward is right. We don't hide things from each other. We might take a little time before we share what's on our mind, but there's nothing I don't want him to know, even if some things make me want to fall into a black hole and never come out.

When I get to the part about my mom and what I thought about in the parking lot, he pulls my hands into his lap and squeezes them, and I can tell out of all I've said, this is the hardest for him to hear.

"Can I talk now?" he asks as I take a few deep breaths to calm down once I've finished telling him everything.

A few strands of hair stick to the side of my face, and he gently, so, so gently, brushes them back as he caresses my cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"First, because I can't say it enough, I love you," he begins quietly. I start to say it back but he shakes his head quickly so I close my mouth and wait for him to continue. "Finding you, getting to know you, having you here, with me, is the best thing that's ever happened to me, Bella. Sometimes I can't even believe how lucky I am. You're beautiful and funny, sweet and hot, and make the best cookies in the world, and can play the drums like nobody's business. You're everything to me and you're mine, and every morning I wake up and can't wait to start my day because I know you're going to be a part of it. School still sucks, but there's nowhere else I'd rather be than there, but that's only because that's where you are."

He takes a breath and looks over my shoulder for just a few brief seconds, and then straightens his shoulders as if to brace himself for what might happen next. "Sometimes I feel so selfish though, because I know … I know that having you with me means you're not with your mom, and I know that makes you feel sad and guilty and I hate it. I hate it, Bella. Rose was right when she said all I want is for you to be happy. I do. I'd do anything, give you anything, to always make you happy, but I can't make your mom wake up, no matter how much I wish I could." His voice wavers a bit, and when he sees a tear fall he lifts a hand and rests it on my cheek.

"Bella, I …" he starts but then stops, closes his mouth, then swallows as he hangs his head. His eyes find mine when he raises it back up and I gasp from the intensity I see burning in them. I feel it, everywhere. My whole body vibrates and it's almost too much, the way it seems like he can see every single part of me. When he starts talking again his voice is rough and deeper than normal and the tiny hairs on the back of my neck immediately stand on end. "I know you still have Phil and Maggie and I know your mom is," he pauses a beat then says slowly, "like she is, but you will always have me. I will always be with you, no matter what. When I think about college, we're together. When I try to picture my life five years, ten years down the road, you're there. Any time, any place I dream about, you're always with me. You're all I want and I want you forever."

My eyes fill with tears and my heart, well, it feels like a balloon about ready to burst from being so full.

"I want you, too, forever," I whisper.

He smiles and pulls me forward. I go willingly. I always will. He straightens his legs and I straddle his thighs. His arms wrap around me, and mine go around him and we're as close as we can get, but it doesn't feel close enough. I can feel his heart beating against my chest, strong and steady. I bury my nose in the dip between his shoulder and neck and kiss the warm, slightly salty skin that peeks out from beneath his t-shirt. His fingers comb through my hair and we sit that way, not saying a word, for a few minutes until I feel his chest rumble as he starts to talk again.

"You have to know though, as much as I always want you with me, I understand how important it is for you to spend as much time with your mom as you can." His voice is quiet but even, and his fingers don't stop their tracks through my hair. "I might be selfish sometimes, but I'm not an asshole, Bella. Missing a party at Newton's house or a bonfire on the beach is nothing. Who the hell wants to see Alec make an ass out himself anyway? You don't have to worry about feeling bad because you think you're keeping me from anything, because that's never been my thing, even before you came along, okay? And yes, I'd love to be able to take you out and show you off, but only because you're my girl and I'm the luckiest guy around, but I understand why you can't."

"But I want to," I say softly and press myself closer to him.

"I know you do, baby, and we will, whenever you say it's okay. Please, please stop thinking that you're disappointing me, because you're not. You're so fucking strong, and I know, I know, how hard it is for you. I see it, I feel it, and it hurts to watch you struggle, but I'm so damn proud of you, too, just for trying. I think your mom would be, too. She'd want you to be happy, Bella." He squeezes me and I feel his chest rise as he takes a deep breath. His heart thumps beneath my hand, a little faster, and little harder than before. We sit, saying nothing for a few minutes, as his words firmly and surely embed themselves in my mind.

I know what he's said is true, and even though I'm sure I'll still feel bad from time to time, I'm glad I told him what's been bothering me.

I feel his lips on my cheek when he lowers his head and he kisses his way down closer to my ear. His breath is warm and it makes me hot all over, even while it gives me goosebumps. "Can we go back to the part about you wanting to make out with your boyfriend? I kinda liked that part."

I giggle, feeling a million times better. The heaviness from just a moment ago vanishes just like that, even though I know it won't be long until it comes back again.

My Creeper, he always knows just what to say. No wonder I love him with all my heart.

"Yeah?" I ask, sitting up.

His eyes are sparkling, bright and so green. His lopsided smile makes my tummy flip-flop and I want nothing more than to have his lips on mine.

"Yes. Now, get down here and kiss me, Drummer Girl," he says, his voice like warm gooey chocolate.

He doesn't need to ask twice. I lower my mouth to his and the second our lips meet, everything but him fades away. He opens his mouth and my tongue finds his. Breaths and groans and growls and whimpers, they're the only sounds I hear. His. Mine. Ours. We kiss and kiss and kiss and it makes every part of me want more. Of his hands, his mouth, his fingers, his tongue.

All over me.

Everywhere.

"Edward, gah, I want … " I pant.

I roll my hips and tighten my legs around him. I press my chest harder against his, and both of us hiss when I move just right. God, he feels so good. He's hard beneath me, so hard, and my nipples shoot sparks of want straight to between my legs when they rub against him just so.

I don't know what to do. I want to kiss him. I want him to touch me. My hands twist in his hair and then I let go. They move to his face, his shoulders, his arms, then they flutter about because I don't know where I want to touch him next. I think I'm going crazy.

"What? What do you want? Tell me." He grips my hips and holds me still.

Our eyes meet and I feel so exposed, even though not one piece of clothing is gone. It doesn't matter. I could be completely naked standing in the middle of a field of wildflowers with the sun shining down on me and I don't think he could see me anymore fully than he does right now. He sees everything. Always. It's scary and exhilarating and embarrassing and the best feeling in the world all rolled into one.

I want to hide.

I want him to see.

"What do you want, Bella?" he asks as he kisses the side of my neck. His tongue swirls around the spot behind my ear that makes me wild. When I feel his teeth scrape along the hypersensitive skin, I moan.

"Touch me, please?"

"Oh, baby." He lowers his voice then slowly turns us so that he can lay me down.

It's the first time we've been this way and I can't get enough. Normally we're standing, or sitting, but we've never been in this position where I can feel all of him against all of me.

I don't want him to ever move.

But he does, and it's even better than just a few seconds before. His legs are between mine and when he rocks forward, I see stars … and not because I'm squeezing my eyes closed so tightly all I can see is white. He's hard and he feels so good. So good. It's scary how good he feels. I can't help it. I lift my hips against his and the sound that comes out of his mouth as he moves up and down against me makes my heart fly and my blood feel like fire as it races through my veins.

"Shirt. Off. Let me see you, feel you." His mouth is everywhere: my lips, my neck, my face.

I don't even hesitate before I wiggle out of my shirt. The wiggling isn't helping the situation down below either, or maybe it is. I don't know. All I know is how it feels, better than anything before, even better than when we were together in my building.

The second my shirt's over my head, his mouth is on me again, only this time, now, it's on skin that he's never touched before, at least not with his lips. His hands yes, but oh God, they don't feel as good as his mouth.

"You taste so good," he breathes and where he's licked cools and it makes me shiver. And hot. And want him. So, so much.

His fingers and his mouth travel across my shoulder blades, down my chest, around my bellybutton, leaving trails of heat and tingles behind. I tug on his shirt, wanting - needing - it off.

He chuckles as it bunches up around his neck because I growl.

"What's the matter, baby?" I feel his lips curve into a smile against my stomach.

"I want to feel you, too. Take it off." I huff, and blow out a frustrated breath.

He's killing me and he knows it.

Ass.

I lick my lips when he kneels and pulls it over his head. His muscles ripple and flex and he's so gorgeous. Perfect. Not too bulky but smooth lines and hard planes and a trail of dark hair that dips beneath the waistband of his soccer shorts. Shorts which do nothing to hide what lies beneath. God, I can't wait to feel him, all of him, inside of me, but I know we're not ready. Yet. Not long now though. When I look into his eyes, they darken, and I know he's thinking the same thing.

"I can't wait until I can be with you, all the way," he says as he watches his fingers ghost across my body. He circles my bellybutton with the tip of his index finger, then his tongue wets his bottom lip as it moves up, up until he moves it back and forth across my chest, beneath my breasts. His breathing gets choppy and faster as his finger moves from below to around my nipples, first one then the other.

Thank God I wore one of my nicer bras today. It's not Victoria's Secret or anything, but it's dark purple and lacy and I know it looks good on me. From the way Edward can't take his eyes off his finger as it makes smaller and smaller circles, I'm pretty sure he agrees with me.

"So hot," he breathes, then finally lifts his head to stare at me.

"Can I … will you … take this off, too? So I can see you?"

My hands shake as I reach behind me to undo my bra. It's not easy and I want to be embarrassed because I'm fumbling as he watches me, and I am just a little, but it goes away the second I slide it down my arms and drop it beside me.

I move to cover up, because holy hell, I'm topless and we've never done this before. No one's seen me like this, ever, except for other girls in the locker room at school and even then I dress as fast as I can. He grabs my wrists before I can get that far and he shakes his head.

"Don't. You're so beautiful," he whispers as his eyes burn into mine and I want to cry because I can feel his words. Not just between my legs, but in my heart and soul.

He leans down and kisses me, soft and deep and it's like he's pouring every bit of himself into me. I want it, I take it, because I need him more than I've ever needed anyone or anything in my life.

"I love you so fucking much." His mouth moves from mine to my neck. "Always." Down lower to the hollow of my throat. "Forever." Even lower to the top of my breast. "Don't ever doubt it, Bella." Lower until he flattens his tongue and licks my very hard, achy nipple. "Ever." Again. "You're the only one I'll ever want."

His fingers glide down my stomach and he wordlessly undoes the button on my jeans and pulls the zipper down, his tongue never stopping its delicious torture as it moves from left to right across my chest. His hand slides beneath my panties and his fingers touch me there for the first time.

Startbursts and fireworks and thousands, millions, of pinpoints of sparks everywhere. I blindly reach for him, but he stills my hand with his free one. "No, baby. Let me make you come, just you this time."

"But I want to touch you, too." And I do. God, I do.

He rocks his hips and I gasp when I feel how hard he is. "Bella, the second your hot little hand touches my cock I'll explode, so right now, let me feel you come. Next time, you can touch me all you want."

"Promise?"

He nods just before he sucks a nipple into his mouth and I arch my back, shamelessly trying to get him to suck harder because it feels so good. His fingers circle and slide, and my hips move in time with his. I'm so close. Everything feels tight and hot and I'm gasping, saying his name over and over again. A finger dips then enters me and I open my mouth, but no sound comes out.

"Oh, oh," I cry out, a little in shock but it lasts only a second because as soon as his finger starts moving, I don't ever want him to stop.

"Holy … oh fuck you feel so good. So hot and tight. Jesus, just perfect." He lifts his head to look at me. "Are you okay, is this okay?"

He looks down at his hand and then back up at me, though he doesn't stop what he's doing. I nod. "Yes, God yes. I'm gonna, oh God, I'm gonna come!"

"Fuck yes. Let go and come. Come hard."

His finger moves in and out faster, his thumb presses down in a way that makes my entire body light up and he closes his mouth around my nipple again. Lips and teeth and then his tongue and his finger and his thumb, somehow they all work together, at the same time, and I explode.

I try to keep my eyes open but I can't so I close them and just let myself ride the wave.

It goes and goes and when I can finally feel my toes, I open my eyes and find bright green ones full of love … and quite a bit of pride staring at me.

"That was the hottest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. Jesus, Bella." He bends down and gives me a sweet kiss that is totally opposite of what he's just done to me, but somehow totally perfect … just like him.

"I love you. So much," I say softly and run a hand through his damp hair. I feel tears sting the corners of my eyes, but they're happy ones. Very happy ones.

"Mmmm, love you, too," he quips before he gives me a raspberry on my boob.

"Nice." I giggle. It feels so good to be with him like this, happy and free and totally, completely in love with each other.

The grin on his face when he looks up is enough to melt the panties right off me, if they weren't already halfway off in the first place. "What? I told you, they're spectacular and they're about to be covered up again, I was just saying goodbye."

"God, you're such a guy."

He kisses me soundly on the mouth. "Your guy and don't you ever forget it."

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**So some flirting, then some talking, then some hot sexy time … not too shabby I'd say! Hope you all enjoyed that. They sure seemed to, and they needed it, too, don't ya think? **

**Next chapter, it's Bella's birthday so we'll find out what Edward's surprise is (I hope, depends on how wordy our boy gets, he gets a little out of hand at times!) **

**And in case you didn't see on FB or Twitter, I'm only going to update on Monday's for the next little bit. I need to devote more time to these chapters as we work up to some hard stuff coming up and I can't do that by posting 2x a week. Besides, this one was super long, so that's a good thing, right?**

**See you next week. I've missed you guys, let me know what you thought, okay? **


	15. Assist

**Disclaimer: The characters belong to SM, the plot's all mine. **

**Does it feel like it's been longer than a week? It does for me! Anyway, thanks so much for all the super sweet words for the last chapter. They kept me smiling for days! You guys are the best and I truly do appreciate each and every one of you that reads, reviews, and rec's this little story. Thank you just doesn't ever seem like enough to say! **

**Okay, our boy's got plans to make. Let's see what he's up to, shall we? **

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**Chapter 13 - Assist**

**EPOV **

"Say hi to Phil for me and I'll call you later to say good night, okay?" I ignore Jasper's snort and flip him off as I start the car.

"Love you, too. Bye." Emmett coughs "pussy-whipped" into his hand and I slam on the brakes, grinning when his head bounces against the headrest. Fucker's lucky the seat belt kept him from kissing the dashboard. On second thought, the dashboard's probably luckier.

I keep my foot firmly pressed on the brake and look from Em to Jasper. "I'll be happy to go to Port Angeles by myself if you two assholes don't shut the fuck up. You're both ten times worse than I am when it comes to Rose and Ali and I've had to listen to you both for a hell of a long time, so what's it going to be?"

Neither of them is brave enough to speak after my outburst, but they do nod. It takes about two minutes, maybe less, before Emmett starts laughing, which causes Jasper to join in, which of course makes it impossible for me not to as well.

"Dude, you totally sounded like my dad just then with your 'so what's it going to be?'" Jasper says once he stops laughing. "He used to say the exact same shit to me and Peter when we were younger."

"Well …" I huff, and still try to sound pissed off, which is stupid, because I wasn't even pissed off in the first place.

"Man, chill. You know we just like giving you shit. Bella's awesome and it's pretty fucking cool to see the two of you so happy with each other. Granted, if you two could stop sticking your tongues down each other's throats every five seconds when we're all together, I'd really appreciate it," Em says, shivering like he just got a chill, but the smirk on his face lets me know he's not nearly as bothered by mine and Bella's PDA as he says he is.

I raise my eyebrow in challenge and he grins back, shameless and proud. Dude knows there's no contest. He and Rose beat everyone, hands down; it's not even close.

In the five minutes it takes to get to the highway, Emmett tries to change the stations at least three times. "My car, my radio - you know the rules," I say, flicking his hand when he tries to change the station for the fourth time.

"You listen to the weirdest shit, I swear, man." Emmett huffs and slouches in his seat.

I roll my eyes. "The Violent Femmes are not weird, they're classic. You just have no taste."

We bullshit for a little while, talking about the soccer team, which girl Alec's trying to get with this week, and the big test we have in Pre-Calc next week. It feels normal. I love hanging out with Bella, but I miss spending time with Emmett and Jasper, too. The closer we get to Port Angeles, the more nervous I get, which is totally ridiculous considering all I'm doing is picking up Bella's birthday present and checking on the arrangements I've made for Saturday night. I can't help it though; I want everything to be perfect. My fingers drum on the steering wheel and I sigh.

"Edward, she's going to love it," Jasper says from the back. He's not looking at me; in fact, he's playing a game on his phone.

God, I fucking hate it when he does that shit.

He must hear the grunt I make because he lifts his head and catches me looking at him in the rear view mirror. And then that damn eyebrow rises. I swear, one night when he's sleeping, I'm going to sneak into his room and shave that fucker off. I hate that thing. I mean, I don't really, but it's so annoying sometimes how Jasper always knows what's going on with me … even when I don't always know myself.

I sag in my seat and run a hand through my hair. "I sure hope so. Bella's not one for presents and she doesn't wear any jewelry besides earrings. I just wanted to give her something special."

"Trust me, she'll flip."

He sounds so certain, and I want to believe him. I mostly do, but with Bella, you can never quite know for sure.

"So, Mama C's making plenty of food, right? I'm dying to pig out on some Esme's cooking. Fuck, my mouth's watering just thinking about it." Emmett groans and I'd be scared of the sounds coming out of his mouth if he weren't sitting right next to me.

"There will be plenty." I chuckle and shake my head. Food and Rose - they're pretty much all Emmett thinks about.

He rubs his hands together and I figure he's thinking about food, but he's not. "I'm glad you're doing something for Bella, Ed. She deserves to have a day just for her. She needs to have fun and act like a teenager every now and then, and she definitely deserves to be spoiled a little bit. Shit, when I think about her being at home, by herself … it makes you stop and think, you know? I don't know how she does it, I really don't. Sometimes it pisses me off and others, it just makes me fucking sad."

I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. His eyes are narrowed and he's frowning. I know how much he cares about Bella and the feeling is mutual. She and Jasper get along great and it's always amusing to watch them tease each other or debate some obscure musical fact or another, but her relationship with Emmett is very different. Maybe it's Em's size or the way he's so protective of everyone around him. I don't know for sure what it is, but it's very plain to see that he has an exceptionally soft spot for my girlfriend. He adores Alice and Angela, but Bella is special. Of course I already know this, but I'm glad she has Emmett … and Rose. It's good for her to have solid friendships and people she can feel comfortable with besides me. No one can ever know her like I do, but she needs her own friends to talk to and vent to when she can't talk to me. I might not like it at times, but I do understand.

"Yeah, me, too," I answer him quietly.

The car is silent except for the music thumping from the speakers. After a few minutes pass we start talking about soccer and our game next weekend. Things worked out perfectly - we have a weekend off, but things will definitely be picking up after right after. Not only do I have club games, but I also have a mandatory Regional Team practice the weekend after that. My Regional Team schedule was in my email last night. I need to talk to Bella about what's coming up. I'm going to be out of town a lot over the next few months and then with high school soccer starting right after Thanksgiving with tryouts and the season starting after Christmas, things are really going to be picking up. I really need to start making some decisions. Coaches from all over the country have started sending me emails; I get a few every week seems like. I've been putting off thinking about everything, but I can't do it for much longer.

Even if part of me wants to pretend like I can stay in Forks forever.

Pushing those thoughts to the side because I really can't think about them now, I spend the rest of the trip just joking around with my two best friends.

"She's really going to love it," Jasper says as he stands next to me in the jewelry store thirty minutes later. I nod and nervously watch the salesgirl wrap Bella's present.

"I fucking hope so. I know you've done this shit before, but this is a big deal for me," I tell him as I bounce on my feet.

My whole body vibrates. I want her to like her present so much. It's nothing really … I mean, it is, but it's not like I got her diamond ring or anything. Not gonna lie, I did look at them, I couldn't help it. There was even a brief flash where I pictured sliding one on Bella's finger at some point in time in the very distant future, but for now I just want to give her something that will remind her of me and how much I love her. She's not much of a jewelry person, but seeing as how I've never given a girl a birthday present before - not counting gift certificates or bath stuff for Rose and Ali - I want Bella to be the first. The only_,_ if I have my way. So, I spent an entire Sunday afternoon two weeks ago picking out what I hope is the perfect present. I hope she doesn't think it's too cheesy. I don't think she will. I had to special order part of it so that's why we're here on a Thursday night picking it up. That and the fact that if I'd gotten it two weeks ago, I probably would have caved and given it to her already. Her surprise Saturday night is one thing, mostly because that's as much for me as for her, but I'm horrible about giving gifts. I hate to wait.

Finally, I have the perfectly wrapped box in a bag and I feel a hundred times better for some reason. I guess maybe because now all that's left is to see Mr. Molina about the arrangements for Saturday night. Rose is the only one I've talked to about my plans for Bella after we're done with dinner at my house. I needed her advice … and her help. It's not that I don't trust anyone else, though Em and Alice both have a hard fucking time keeping secrets, but much like our notebooks and her building, I want Saturday night to be only for her, for us.

"Hey, why don't you go get us a table at the restaurant and order our food. I'll catch up with you guys in a few minutes," I tell Jasper as we leave the jewelry store.

He quirks that damnable eyebrow at me but I hold his gaze. I know he's trying to figure out what I'm doing, but I also know he'll drop it, too. He'll wait for me to tell him. He always does. Emmett opens his mouth to argue but when Jasper tells him they can get potato skins while they're waiting on me, he's off like a shot. "You owe me," Jasper drawls before he jogs to catch up with Emmett.

I take a deep breath and turn toward the music store. A little bell jingles above me when I open the door and Mr. Molina's head pops up from behind the counter.

"Ahhh, Mr. Cullen, I've been expecting you," he greets me.

I smile and I can feel my stomach bouncing around inside of me. I have no idea why. I'm not doing anything but verifying that everything is set, but it's one step closer to Saturday. One more thing I can cross off my mental list of what I need to do to make Bella's day the best ever.

"We're still good to go on Saturday night?" I ask, drumming my fingers on the glass case.

"Sure, sure. Felix will be expecting you about nine o'clock or so and you'll have two hours before he has to move to a different building. That still works for you, yes?"

I nod, my stomach now turning flip-flops instead of just bouncing. It's like a party in there, or a mosh pit.

_Jesus._

I try to swallow. My throat's dry and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth, but finally I'm able to force the words out.

"Thank you, sir, so much. You have no idea how much I appreciate this and all your help. I never would've been able to do this without you," I tell him sincerely.

Thank God for Rose. When I told her my idea, she suggested contacting Mr. Molina about what I wanted to do. Once I explained, he remembered me buying the drumsticks for Bella way back at the beginning of summer.

"Not too many people come in and stare at the drumstick display … all five options of them." He'd laughed good-naturedly. "Seems like this young lady is a bit more than a friend now, son," he teased and I felt the tips of my ears burn hot, thanking the stars that he couldn't see me through the phone.

I sort of coughed, choking at the same time, and answered back, "She's much more than a friend, sir. She's everything."

The words. Forever true and as always, so easy to say, even to a virtual stranger.

He chuckles and brings me back to the present. "Well, you should be all set, Edward. Just make sure to find Felix when you're done and that's it."

We shake hands and I turn to walk out the door. He calls to me and I look back over my shoulder, my hand on the door handle and the little bell above my head jingling once again. "Next time you come in, bring the girl, okay? I'd love to meet her."

"You got it, Mr. Molina. I'll see you soon."

Leaving the store and walking to the restaurant, I can't help but imagine Saturday night. I hope it's a night neither of us will forget.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

I smile as I set my phone down on my nightstand after sending Bella a text. 12:00 … and a few seconds. It's officially her birthday.

A knock on my door. I'm tired, but sitting in bed, sleep pants and a black wife beater on with Bella's notebook on my lap. I close it, but leave it where it is.

"Come in," I call and smile at Mom when she pokes her head in.

"You busy?"

I yawn and shake my head, which makes her chuckle.

"It's late. I figured you'd crash as soon as you got home from the game." Her eyes dart toward the notebook and then back at me.

"I'm going to bed in a little bit. Too much soda at the diner I guess, so I'm not really all that tired."

She grins and rolls her eyes. "Bet you had some apple pie and ice cream to go with all that soda, didn't you?" I don't even have to answer, she already knows I did. "How did Bella enjoy the game? Did she have fun?"

If I didn't think it'd make me look like a lovesick fool, I'd sigh. Instead, I nod. "Yeah, she really did. It took her about twenty minutes to completely relax, but once she did, she was cheering just as loud as anyone. She even led the cheer for Emmett when he sacked the quarterback."

Mom laughs. "I wish I could have seen that!"

A quick flash and I can still see her standing in the bleachers, clapping and laughing with Rose and Alice, the tip of her nose red, her cheeks flushed and her eyes big and bright and shiny. She was so pretty, so happy, and I'd spent more time watching her than the game … not that I'll tell Emmett. He'd be crushed to know I missed his tackle.

Mom waits a few moments, I think to let me indulge in my thoughts a little longer. "Are you excited about tomorrow?"

This time I do sigh. "I am, nervous, too, a little bit. I hope she likes everything."

"Oh, sweetheart, you know she will. Try not to worry so much. She'll love everything you've planned just because it was you who made it all possible."

"Well … I just wanted to do something nice, special for her, you know? She told me that last year she spent her birthday in the hospital, by herself and that's just … I get it, but I hate it. I hate that she was alone."

I have to swallow a few times because thinking about Bella sitting beside her mom, with no one around, no one to tell her happy birthday, hurts. I know Phil didn't let the day go by without recognizing it, but no one else mentioned it. No family, no friends, no one but Phil. It makes me want to hit something because it's just so wrong.

"She has you now, Edward, and your father and me, and your friends. She's not alone anymore," Mom says quietly and I hang my head and nod.

My hand spreads on top of Bella's notebook and I feel the words written on the pages flow through me.

"She'll always have me." I speak the words without any embarrassment or hesitation. It's the truth, totally and forever. I know it. I feel it. It's scary and big, so big, but it doesn't change the fact that I believe it with all that I am.

"I believe you." I look up at Mom. She's staring at me and her eyes, while not worried per se, are full of emotion and it makes it hard to breathe all of a sudden.

"Is that for Bella?" she asks and points toward the notebook in my lap.

"Yeah … we … ah, we write to each other sometimes. She has one, too, for me, so we trade back and forth. It's kind of our thing." This time I feel the tips of my ears burn, but it's only because anytime I talk about Bella, especially about this, it makes me hot all over. Damn it all. Stupid bodily reactions. I don't mind it most of the time, but sitting with Mom, late on a Friday night, it makes me feel a little silly.

She clears her throat and I brace myself. I know that sound; it means to get ready because she's about to say something that I probably don't want to hear … or that she's nervous about saying.

"Writing letters is a nice way to get to know someone," she begins carefully, as she watches, waiting for my reaction.

This is it, I know it is. The moment I can answer those unasked questions I know have been burning ever since Bella came to the house for dinner. Mom and Dad have both been mostly silent. There have been a few veiled questions and some that haven't been quite so subtle. I've managed to skirt them. It's not that I want to hide anything, well a few facts I do, but really the thing that's kept me from answering what they both want to know is the chance that they might tell me I'm making a mistake.

I know they love Bella, how could they not, but I'm not stupid either. What Bella is dealing with is some heavy shit. It's hard and painful and anyone close to her is bound to get caught up in the tidal wave when it comes. And it will come. I know it and more than that, she knows it. She lives every day in an agonizing holding pattern, clinging to the past but wanting so desperately to move forward. Hopefully with me. God, please with me. And logically, objectively, what parent really wants their child subjected to something like that? Parents want their kids to be happy, mine tell me that all the time, so the fact that I'm purposely, even for someone like Bella, putting myself in a position to possibly get hurt … I know it makes them worry. I honestly don't think they'd ever ask me to turn my back on Bella, they love her too much for that and they know I do, too, but that doesn't mean they don't wish things were easier for her … and for me.

Since Dad's quiet but pointed questions a few weeks ago and the talk Bella and I had after school last week, I've done a lot of thinking, planning … dreaming about the future. I have decisions to make, goals to achieve, places to go, but I want Bella with me. Always. I wasn't lying to her when I told her every vision I have of five years, ten years down the road always has her by my side. Some dreams I have are fantasies, silly nonsense wishes, but others like going to college and graduating, making the World Cup team, playing in the MLS or even better, the English Premiere League, all include Bella.

I want forever with her.

"Sometimes it's easier to write things down than to say them out loud. Writing gives you a sense of freedom because it lets you be yourself," Mom says in that quiet, knowing way she has.

She's not blind and she misses nothing. I know she's seen me carrying around the notebook; she's seen me writing in it plenty. She's never asked, but I've always felt like she's known the whole time I was writing to Bella.

"I tell her things I can't tell anyone else, or I guess things I don't want to tell anyone else. We've talked about a lot the past few months," I say and watch her eyes as recognition dawns.

"Hmmm," she hums. "Do you want to share how that came about? I'm trying not to pry here, but I'd really like to know."

My stomach's a mess, all twisted and knotted, but it's not in a bad way, at least not wholly. I want her and Dad to know and see how much Bella means to me … and has from the very beginning. So I tell her, leaving out things they don't need to know like the time of day when the watching took place or the fact that seeing Bella in those tiny shorts and tight t-shirts made me want to do very, very bad things to her … those good bad things that kept me a crazy mess most of the summer. Yeah, I'm definitely keeping those facts between just Bella and me.

"I don't know, Mom," I say as I stare down at the notebook in my lap, flashes of shared words flickering in my mind like a slide show. "She needed someone … and I wanted, needed it to be me. She was so sad and in so much pain and it just hurt so much to see her that way. I can't even explain it, from the very first time I saw her, I just knew I wanted to help her."

"Oh, Edward," she says and sniffs. "So you started leaving her notes? She must have been quite shocked the first time?" She's fishing but I only smile.

I've shared pretty much all I'm going to share. The specifics? Well, those I might tell her someday … after Bella and I are happily married and she and Dad no longer have the power to ground me until I'm thirty.

But I do say, "It took a little time before she felt like she could trust me, but in the end, I think things turned out pretty damn perfect."

She pats me on the knee in that way only moms can do and I can't help but smile. That went so much better than I thought it would. I mean, I've always pretty much known that by leaving out a few facts while explaining how Bella and I met, even if it wasn't exactly run-of-the-mill, it's not all that shocking either. A little out there, yes, but like I just told her, it all turned out okay.

"Bella's going to introduce me to her mom tomorrow," I blurt after a few moments. I don't know why, but I do.

My words are met with silence. My heart slams against my ribs and my stomach is twisted so tightly, it makes me want to bend over.

I look at Mom and she's as still as a statue … everything but her eyes, which are staring out of my bedroom window. I have no idea what she's looking for or what she hopes to find but I wait, silently, for her to say whatever it is she needs to say. "Are you prepared for that?"

I shrug. "I have no idea. All I know is it means a lot to Bella, so I'm going to do it."

"Son …" Mom begins then coughs a little, though I know this is only because it's hard for her to get words to come out right now. "That's just … wow, I'm not sure what to say."

I laugh, but it's a nervous one and I kind of want to hurl to be honest. When Bella first mentioned it earlier in the week I was fine with it, but now, with the whole thing just around the corner, I don't know what or how I'm supposed to feel. Meeting Phil the next time he's in Forks will be one thing, but this … meeting her mom is huge.

Gargantuan.

"She's going to have quite the weekend, isn't she?" Mom wonders aloud and not for the first time do I ask myself if it's all too much for Bella.

The football game tonight, having me meet her mom, the dinner at my house with everyone, her present, then my special surprise … _holy shit_.

"She's going to freak, isn't she? She is, I know she is. Shit. I knew it was a lot, but it's too much isn't it? Damn, damn, damn …" I mutter and then hop up out of bed and nearly topple Mom over in the process.

I pace. I pull at my hair. I freak out.

_Son of a bitch_.

All my plans, my wish for a perfect day for her … poof … gone, just gone.

"Hey," Mom says and I jump when I feel her hand on my shoulder. "Edward, stop, you silly boy." She smiles and shakes her head and now I kind of want to crawl under my bed and stay there for oh … I don't know … a week maybe.

She laughs softly again and the lifts her hands and places them on my cheeks. "If Bella has asked you to meet her mom, it's because she's ready. She didn't have to say yes to the football game tonight, but she did. She knows we're having a special dinner and she's fine with that and I'm going to assume you've at least let her know you have one other thing planned for her and she's agreed to that, too, so just relax. It's a lot, but I don't think it's too much, not at all. In fact, I think it's all just perfect for her."

I take a deep breath. "Yeah?"

She nods once. "Yes. Trust yourself. You know Bella better than anyone else. You'd know if it was too much."

I want to believe her. I do. When I don't agree with Mom right away she pinches my cheek. "Knock it off and stop overthinking. I swear you're just like your father that way." She rolls her eyes and then grins impishly. "So romantic, but you drive yourself crazy just getting to the big event. Stop. Breathe. And then think about the smile on her face tomorrow. You're going to give Bella a memory she'll be able to keep with her forever. When she has a bad day or she's missing her mom, she can think about being surrounded by all her friends and her family and it will make her smile. Trust yourself, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you and so, so happy for you. I might not fully understand what happened between you two, but watching you at dinner with her, listening to you talk about her and how much she means to you, and seeing all the effort you put into making her day one she'll never forget, it's a beautiful thing to see, Edward."

I swallow my tongue. I can't speak. I have to take a few deep breaths so that my heart doesn't beat right out of my chest and run away.

"Family?" It's the one word that's bigger than all the others.

Mom runs the back of her hand down my cheek. "Of course family. That amazing girl is stuck with us now."

I open my mouth. I close it. I open it again. "Sometimes I feel so guilty, Mom."

The words are barely louder than a whisper but in my head they're as loud as thunder as they roar and rumble. "I have you and Dad and she has no one. I mean, yeah, she has Phil and he loves her and she has Maggie … but they're not her family, you know? She doesn't like to talk about it, and I try not to bring it up, but I get really scared thinking about what might happen if her mom, you know, dies, and we're still in high school."

Suddenly Mom's arms are around me. Ripe peaches and the subtle scent of the coffee I know she and Dad had with dessert a few hours ago fill my nose. Mom's hugs are warm and comforting and so strong. I shake as she holds me. I can't believe I just told her that. I've held those feelings so close to my heart because it hurts so much to admit them. I don't ever, _ever_, want to make Bella feel like I'm pitying her. It's the one thing I know with one hundred percent certainty she loathes more than anything.

I sniff, not quite crying but pretty damn close.

"Oh, sweetheart." She pulls back and her eyes are just as glassy as mine. This is so not how I planned on spending my Friday night. "You have such a big heart and you love her with every bit of it. I see it. I feel it. I know it's hard to watch Bella suffer and be sad, but all you can do is love her and be there for her. We all will. No one knows what will happen; we just have to have faith that whatever, whenever something does, we're all there to love and support her. I know it may not seem like much, but believe me, Bella knowing you're there for her gives her more comfort than she can explain to you. Trust me."

I narrow my eyes and tilt my head and think back to the moment in the kitchen a few weeks ago between Bella and Mom. I don't ask, but I know that Mom is telling me something without telling me everything.

"You're okay?" Mom asks as she takes a step back. I nod. She pats my cheek, kisses my other one and looks at me for just a moment.

"I love you, Edward. Now, get some rest. Tomorrow's a big day."

I gulp and swallow over the lump in my throat. "Love you, too, Mom. Thanks for … well, just thanks," I mumble the last little bit, because that shit's just awkward as hell, but I want her to know I appreciate her talking to me … and for everything else, too. She's a pretty fucking awesome mom.

She turns to look back for just a brief second and then she walks out.

"Holy shit," I breathe out as I flop onto my bed.

Bella's notebook bounces beside me and I hear the pages flutter as it falls back to the bed. Suddenly, just sending her a text isn't enough. I need her and since I can't see her or touch her, I do the next best thing.

Our thing.

_Hey, Baby ..._

_It's after midnight, so I can officially tell you Happy Birthday. I already sent you a text so hopefully mine was the first wish … gotta beat Rose and Em you know. I am the boyfriend, I get dibs. Besides, while they may love you, they sure as hell don't love you like I do._

_It scares me sometimes how much I love you and how much I want you to always be mine. Is it wrong of me to want that? I don't think so, it feels right to want it, so that has to mean something, doesn't it? Does it ever scare you, this thing between us? I'm probably not making sense, but you should be used to that by now. It's just that Mom and I were talking earlier. Don't freak out, okay, but I kind of told Mom about what happened over the summer … I know what you're thinking, so stop right now, Drummer Girl. Everything's fine. I didn't tell her all of it, just the basics, only enough to show her how important you are to me. _

_Because you are … so very important to me - the most important person to me. You know that, right? _

_When I think back to those very first nights watching you, it's almost like you're a whole different person now. Still as gorgeous, still driving me just as crazy, but baby, you've changed so much since then. I know you still hurt, and God that fucking kills me. I know you still get scared and angry and sometimes it probably feels like the world's going to crash down around your feet some days, but I will always, ALWAYS, be right beside you to protect you. Do you remember when we started talking, you know when I was being my totally charming, to-die-for self that you couldn't resist? Well, I was reading back through some of our old letters to each other (damn we're some wordy people, do you realize that?) and I noticed something … something that I need to correct right the fuck now. _

_I told you, a lot, that I wanted to be there for you, and that hasn't changed in the least in case you were wondering, no, that's just gotten stronger, if you can believe it. I also talked a lot about being whatever you needed … that hasn't changed either. But what I didn't say and should have said from the very beginning is how much __I__ need __you__. _

_I need you, Bella. _

_I need your smile. I need the way you look at me. I need the way your nose scrunches up when you get excited and the way you sound when you laugh. I need the way your breath hitches in your throat when I kiss you. I need the way you feel in my arms and the way you move against me, so good and so perfect that I feel like I might go crazy. _

_I need the way you love me and make me feel like I can do anything. _

_I need you to be mine. Always. _

_Forever. _

_Beautiful girl, I hope I can make today the best day ever. Not because I want to make up for anything. Not because I feel bad for you. Not because I want to take the place of anyone else. I want it because, for one day, I want you to feel like the center of the universe, that there is no one, anywhere, as special and amazing as you. I think that about you every day, but today is all about showing you that it's not just me who adores you. Today is about celebrating you._

_I know it's going to be a hard day for you in lots of ways, but I hope that even though you're missing so much, you'll see that you have a family that loves you. _

_I love you, Bella … with all that I am. _

_Edward_

Before I can talk myself out of it, my clothes are changed, my shoes are on, and I'm down the stairs and out the door. The moment I step into the woods, there's this pull, the one that always happens whenever I go to Bella, and my chest expands as my heart fills with her. Always her. My steps are slow, even though I want nothing more than to be in her place, our place, so that I can feel closer to her. It's been too long since I've traveled this familiar path and for some reason I want the walk to last. The night's clear when I look up. I stop and get lost in the glittery stars sprinkled in the inky black sky. I wish on one, feeling a little foolish, but I can't help it.

"I wish for Bella to have the best day ever," I whisper into the night.

I move again, closer, closer to her. Leaves rustle overhead and beneath my feet, twigs snap deep in the darkness, and the sounds of animals, small and smaller, fill the air. The night is cool, traces of the warmth of the day linger, but when the wind blows, I shiver. My feet go faster the closer I get to her house. Slivers of silvery moonlight slip between the branches above me casting shadows on the ground. I move through them, from light to dark and back to light again.

Always closer, always to her.

Light shines in the distance. Her building. Our building.

I pass my tree and I can't help but brush my fingers along the rough bark, finding the worn grooves with ease, even in the dark. I don't stop though. Never again do I have to be that far away from her. Not gonna lie, I miss watching her. I still dream about it from time to time, those first nights that seem like forever ago. The want, the pull, the desire to be near her. That hasn't stopped. God, I hope it never, ever stops. It's just morphed, because now I know she's no further than a phone call away and it's never any longer than a few hours until I can touch her, see her, kiss her again.

And kiss her.

And kiss her some more.

She gives the best damn kisses. Slow and soft but hot and wet all at the same time and when she does that little squeak/moan thing, I die. And then I want to throw her down, rip her clothes off, and slide inside of her and never move again.

I don't slow as I reach the driveway. The doors are closed, of course they are, so I move to the side, find the key beneath the little plant beside the door and go inside. Bella. Peppermint and sugar cookies, my favorite combination in the whole world. There's a little light, it's barely enough to cut through the dark, but it's enough to keep me from tripping and busting my ass as I make my way to her drum set.

My skin tingles and the twisty turny thing in my stomach explodes to life, like one of those magical flowers that goes from nothing to full blooms with the flick of a wand. Warmth spreads, filling every part of me. She was here. Not long ago, maybe just minutes. The air is full of her, all sweet and delicious and electrified.

I smile.

She was just here.

She knew I'd come.

Of course she did.

My notebook is on her stool and fuck me running … a plate of sugar cookies.

My girl's fucking amazing.

I laugh this time, every worry evaporating in an instant.

Today's going to be a _very_ good day.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~ **

**So … I obviously didn't get to the actual birthday this time … ooops. This boy, I swear, he doesn't ever cooperate like he's supposed to. But, I did cover some ground that's been needed for a little bit now, so things are going in the direction they're supposed to. **

**More birthday going's on next time though, so I hope you're ready for that. **

**I think I scared a few of you with my A/N from last time, sorry! **

**Keep checking the FB page and the blog if you wanna see teasers. I've been posting a few of each lately. **

**Oh and I know I haven't done this yet, but I have a rec for you guys. I can't quite believe I'm going to do this because this Edward owns me heart and soul, but since he's being written just for me, I suppose I can share him with the rest of you. If you are not reading **_**Pinky Promises**_**by my soul sister prettykittyartist then you must, MUST, go forth and read the awesomeness that is Promiseward immediately. He's so swoony and deliciously bad it's unreal. Just remember, he is mine, I'm just letting you all borrow him. Really. Go. Read. Now.**

**www ****. ****fanfiction ****. ****net ****/****s****/ 8280925 /1/ ****Pinky****_****Promises**

**Okay, enough rambling. Let me know what you thought, I'm as nervous as Edward about Bella's birthday! See you next week! **


	16. The Drumroll

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own the plot. **

***waves* Remember me? I'm so sorry for the delay. No excuses really, just life and a huge wall I had to write through. But, I finally figured things out so here we are! Thank you so much for your patience, understanding, and support. You guys are the best readers, EVER! **

**A HUGE thanks to my girls this time. Seriously. Y'all have kept my head above water when all it did was feel like I was going to go under at any moment. I did a lot of whining trying to get this done, I needed a lot of handholding, and I sure needed to have my ass kicked into gear more than a few times, and you all were there every step of the way. Bornonhalloween has heard me whine more than she ever wanted to, and never once complained, my SoulSister, prettykittyartist, used her boots more than a few times to nudge gently and not so gently when I needed it, Robsmyyummycabanaboy kept telling me I could do it, and of course Laurel, all she has to do is raise her eyebrow, (believe me, it's a lot like Jasper's) and I know she has my back. You girls rock, you're my rocks, and I love you all madly. A special thanks to Jules for stepping in this week, too. I needed an extra dose of TLC and you were just what I needed! **

**Okay, enough gushing, let's get to it. Tissues … might not be a bad idea. **

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**Chapter 14 - The Drumroll**

**BPOV**

My phone vibrates with an incoming text message and I peek at the clock. 12:00 on the dot. _Edward, Rose, or Emmett?_ My heart skips a beat as I turn my cell over. Edward. Of course it's him. The girliest giggle ever squeaks out as I read his message.

_Midnight on the dot, how's that for timing? Happy Bday baby. It's going to be a most excellent yr, I hope I can make all your dreams come true. ILY! _

Sighing, I hold the phone to my chest and I can feel my cheeks lift from my smile. I kick my feet because there's so much inside of me I feel like I might explode. Sometimes it seems too good to be true - _he_ seems too good to be true. He loves me. So much. Like bigger than Mt. Everest and taller than a California redwood and wider than the Grand Canyon loves me.

It's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

I roll over and look at the clock, the bright red numbers no longer taunting me as they once did. There are days when the restlessness gets bad, and times when I feel like I can't get enough air in my lungs, that I still escape outside, needing the space, and just for a little while, to be free. They are fewer and farther between. It's a good thing and immediately on the heels of that thought … it's the worst thing ever. I gasp and that thought slams into my chest like a wrecking ball. I pull my knees closer to my chest, curling myself into the fetal position. I don't want them to be less because then ... _then_ ... that might mean I've accepted what's happened to Mom, that I'm okay with it.

I'll never be okay with it.

But a little voice whispers in the back of my mind …_ I'm getting there. _

I know I am.

A little bit more every day.

My skin may still feel too tight for my body sometimes, and the need to play to help ease the crushing pain and bitterness still makes my fingers twitch, but I know deep down that things are changing.

I curl a little more and squeeze my eyes a little tighter and take a few deep breaths. Now is not the time for this. Tomorrow, or later today, is going to be hard enough for me and Edward. I shouldn't dwell on things I can't change today. I read his text message again and the knot in my chest loosens enough that it doesn't feel like my lungs are being squeezed in a vice. In and out a few more times, and I stretch and roll onto my back. Staring up at the ceiling, but not really seeing anything, I let my mind wander and smile when it, as always, finds its way to Edward.

Always Edward.

I rub my chest, right above my heart and I swear I can feel it get bigger when I think about today. While introducing him to Mom is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever done, I can't help but look past that to what the rest of the night might bring. He's been a giddy fool all week, worse than Emmett when he has a joke he's just dying to tell. It's adorable.

Thinking about him makes words form in my head, and behind those words, I hear the beat of his song. He can't fool me. He hasn't mentioned it for weeks, hasn't asked one time about it, but there's no way he's forgotten. It's done. I haven't told him so because I'm saving it for the perfect time. It's his after all. I don't know when that will be, but I'll know it when it comes. I grab my iPod and turn on some music, letting my thoughts meander like a clear stream over pebbles. Edward, or some connection to him, is in each one so I do the only thing I can, I reach for his notebook and the silly pen that never fails to put a smile on my face.

Rolling over onto my stomach, feet crossed in the air, I bob my head to the song. As I start to write, I wonder for a brief moment if he's also writing in my notebook. I smile. I know he is; he wouldn't be Edward if he wasn't.

_Hey Creeper, _

_Guess what? It's my birthday! Guess what else? You were the first person to wish me Happy Birthday! You beat Emmett by about thirty seconds and Rose was right behind him. Ha! She'll be so pissed! _

_I'm glad you were the first. _

_I'm glad you're going to be the first for lots of things. OMG I can't believe I just wrote that, but it's the truth. You're the first person I've ever loved like I do, you're going to be the first person I've ever introduced to my mom and well, you're the first guy that's ever seen my boobs. (btw … they say hello and um … they kind of miss you.) And that other first, the one we talk about but don't really talk about? Yeah, I'm super glad you're going to be that first, the only first. _

_I love you so much, Edward. _

_Do I tell you that enough? Idk, sometimes I'm not sure I do. Do I tell you often enough that you're the most amazing person I've ever met? Do I tell you that I'm so very glad you found me in the woods that first night and kept coming back again and again and again, even when I was so scared and unsure? Do I tell you enough that you've changed my whole life and made me happier than I ever dreamed I could be? _

_If I haven't, well, now you know. _

_For the longest time, well, since Mom's accident, I've been dreading this day. It's always seemed like, or I guess I'd built it up in my mind that the moment I turned 18, there would be some instantaneous change, like the flip of a switch … and I'd be all alone. But that's not really the case. Because of you, I've gotten closer to Phil and Maggie. I have amazing friends who I know would do anything for me. I have your mom and dad … and best and most important of all, I have you. I never, ever, imagined there was a "you" out there for me. I was too scared to hope, too bitter to dream, but then one night you found me in the middle of the woods and didn't give up on me. _

_Because of you, I think about things like college and traveling the world and doing things with my life. Because of you, I'm not so afraid of the future … even though I'm still not ready to let my mom go. Because of you, I go to bed at night and wake up in the morning not dreading the day, but instead excited to see what will happen. Because of you, I have someone that makes me happy and loves me, for me. _

_In case I forget to tell you later, thanks for making my birthday one I'll never forget. I don't need to make a wish when I blow out my candles (I do get candles on my cake, don't I?) because I've already got the best gift ever. You. _

_I love you, Edward. With all my heart. _

_Yours always,_

_DG_

Closing the notebook, I roll out of bed and head for the kitchen. I glance at the plate on the center of the island. I can't help the laugh that starts in my belly and bubbles up my throat and bursts out of my mouth. He's going to shit his pants when he sees these cookies. Guess I shouldn't tell him I wasn't planning on sharing with him. Poor thing, he'd be devastated. I wrap up the plate and scoot out of the side door. The second my feet hit the top step, there's such a sense of peace it takes my breath away. All-encompassing, soothing … and most of all, living and breathing. It's because of Edward. He's coming. I can feel him. My body reacts like it always does - lighting up from the inside and every inch of it tingles. If I didn't know better, I'd swear he was already out there watching, waiting, but I do.

I know my Creeper. He loves to watch me, and I certainly enjoy when he does, but there's no way he'd stay hidden while I'm here. First, I have cookies, and second, he loves kissing me, touching me, too much to stay so far away if he doesn't have to. But I do need to hurry if I don't want him to see me. Somehow I think that would spoil things … just a little bit.

Smiling, I leave his notebook and cookies on my stool. I squeal just a little, another momentary indulgence to that giggly girl who seems to want to come out to play more often these days, and my tummy flutters when I think about what he might have written to me tonight. No doubt something guaranteed to make me cry and smile and feel like I want to fly one second, then, tackle him to the ground and make him say "please" the very next.

Oh, my, definitely more tingles now, especially down there.

Hurrying toward the house, I have to stop and look back one more time at the forest. He's in there, somewhere, coming closer. Coming to me. Because he loves and needs me every bit as much as I do him. Presents, dinners, and surprises are sweet and all, but there's nothing on Earth I need more than Edward. I look up to the sky and whisper, "Thank you for sending him to me. I'm going to love him forever," before I slip inside and make my way to my room where I know dreams of him are only minutes away.

The annoying God-awful hum of my phone vibrating beneath my pillow rouses me from a sound sleep. Blindly, I reach for it, thinking it has to be Edward or Rose.

"'Lo," I mumble and swallow a few times so that my words don't stick to my throat like peanut butter.

"Bella. Happy birthday, sweetheart!" Phil's voice floats through the phone.

I can't help but smile though I groan when I crack my eyes open and see what time it is. Ugh, eight is way too early to be up on a Saturday, especially when I didn't go to sleep until late.

"Thanks," I manage to croak, and I wince. My voice still sounds like I've chain-smoked cigarettes for months on end.

He chuckles. "I thought the big to-do was tonight, not last night, or did you start celebrating early?"

I roll over and sit up, scooting backward until my back rests against the headboard. I yawn, and I hear him snicker again.

"Ha ha, no, dinner and stuff is tonight. I uh … went to the football game with Edward, Rose, and everyone else last night. I didn't fall asleep 'til late," I tell him as I pick at imaginary lint on my comforter. "Besides, you know it's only eight in the morning, right?"

"Oh hell, Bella, I'm sorry. I always forget the time difference."

I smile. He's in New York City for a playoff game, so it's no wonder he forgot. "Yeah, it's almost lunch time where you are while for me the sun's barely had time to come up." I'm exaggerating, but I really do want to crawl back under my covers and go back to sleep for an hour or four.

"I wish I could be there to celebrate with you," he says softly and my breath hitches at the emotion I hear in his words.

"Me, too," I answer, meaning it fully. Our relationship is in a totally different place compared to last year. "But, you'll be done soon … though hopefully not too soon."

He laughs a little bit. "Sometime mid-October would be just fine with me. I'm not getting any younger you know. I don't have much time left to win the big one."

There's silence for a few moments and it's a little awkward, but only because there's so much to say but not really enough time. I surprise him quietly with, "Edward's going to meet Mom today."

There's no missing the sharp intake of his breath. I can almost see him, staring at the phone, mouth agape and eyes wide open.

"That's … ah … damn, sweetheart." He struggles for another few beats then says, "You must really care about him a lot."

I chuckle and then lay my hand over my stomach because thoughts of Edward, today of all days, have the butterflies inside swooping and fluttering like crazy. "You could say that. I can't wait for you to meet him; he's so amazing."

Phil doesn't say anything and then I hear him take a deep breath. "I'm so happy for you, Bella. Everytime I talk to you, you sound more and more like the girl that used to sing and dance in the kitchen and beg me to watch scary movies with her on the weekends, even though you spent more time hiding behind your hands than looking at the television. I've missed her, missed you. It's so good to see you so happy. It's all I want for you."

I sniff.

Then the tears come when he says, "Your mom would be so proud of you."

I smile though through the tears. Maggie's told me the same thing, Rose, too, even Edward has, but hearing it from Phil means so much more. He knows Mom in a way no one else does. "I know."

Thankfully we don't dwell and he begins talking about his upcoming game and we make plans for after the season is over. "You tell that boy that I'm looking forward to meeting him soon."

"I will. I think Emmett and Jasper are even more excited to meet you than Edward. I'll warn you now about Emmett, if you don't come bearing gifts like signed jerseys and baseballs, he's liable to cry … and believe me, no one wants to see that." I shake my head just thinking about the big softie.

"You got it. Your friends sound great. I can't wait to come and spend some time with you." I know he means it. My heart clenches just a little bit and I have to take a deep breath. I know when he comes we'll have to make some decisions, ones I'm not sure I'm ready for.

But not today.

"Good luck today. I hope you have a great game. Kick some Yankee butt," I tell him as I sit on the edge of my bed, ready to begin the day.

"Thanks, sweetheart. Have fun, and try to enjoy being the center of attention for a change. You deserve it. I love you, Bella, and I'll be thinking about you. We'll talk soon, okay?"

He's so sincere, so sweet, it's all I can do to keep from completely breaking down. "I love you, Phil. Thanks for calling."

He gasps at my easy and immediate words of love. Guess that surprised him, which is a little sad and something I definitely need to work on in the future. When we hang up, I smile and that fluttery feeling from before comes to life again. I scoot my feet along the floor and find my flip-flops, slide them on, then redo my ponytail. My hair's a wild mess and as I walk to my door and then down the hall toward the kitchen, I start thinking about how I want to fix it for later. Up because Edward loves it that way so much, or down because I want to dress up a little bit. It's dinner at his house, with his parents and our friends, and I want to look pretty.

And then those mysterious plans after dinner … who knows what Edward has up his sleeve?

I sigh at the thought. It doesn't matter what it is, it's going to be wonderful.

"Smells good in here, Mag," I greet her with light, breezy words. I feel good, so good, this morning. Phil's phone call, being with everyone later, seeing Edward soon, whatever it is, I welcome it. Even the what-I'm-sure-will-be-painful introduction of Edward to my mom doesn't feel like it's going to be that bad.

"Since I'm going to miss your dinner, I decided we'd celebrate together over breakfast. Happy birthday, honey."

She's cutting up the most delicious pineapple, my favorite, and adding it to a bowl of fruit. The colors explode inside the glass bowl and my mouth waters just looking at the rainbow. Bright yellows, greens and reds, the sweet smell of melon and banana and berries mix with the tang of pineapple and oranges. There's yogurt and granola to mix with it, along with chilled orange juice in glasses all waiting on the island.

"Maggie," I say on a sigh, feeling very overcome, very lucky, and very loved.

"Hush, girl. Now scoot your little tush outside. I know you're dying to see if that boy of yours left you something to start your day off with a smile, then we can eat some breakfast before you get busy," she says with a sparkle in her eyes as she waves a knife toward the door.

My mouth falls open. "How did you …"

"Oh please." She chuckles. "He might not need to sneak around anymore, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's stopped altogether does it?"

She winks and I'm speechless. Stunned. Holy shit.

"I … well …" I splutter and her grin is a mile wide.

"You can't fool this old lady, sweetstuff. Now, go. I'm hungry and I want to give you your present."

I wait a beat and stare at her in wonder. Today is definitely starting out way better than I ever could've imagined. I smile. I hope it's a good omen for the rest of the day. Hurrying outside, I open the bay doors. No reason to keep them closed during the daytime. I bounce on my feet, nervous anticipation racing through my veins.

He came.

I knew he would.

I love him. I love him so, so much.

Unable to wait even a second, I rush forward and pluck my notebook off the stool. I flip through the pages, my heart in my throat until I find his letter … and then it flies right up to the sky. How he always knows the perfect thing to say I'll never know, but you will never hear me complain about it either. It's just one more reason to add to an already long list of reasons why he's the most perfect boy in the whole wide world.

Maggie laughs, one that shakes her entire body, when I walk back inside. "I won't say I told you so, but I told you so."

"He's just … I … yeah." I sigh. I mean really, what else can I say at this point?

"Let's eat. You have a big day and he'll be here before you know it."

I help her carry the bowls and glasses to the table and once our plates are full she looks at me. "So do you feel any older? This is a big milestone … or I think it was, I don't remember that long ago."

My eyes roll at her. "Pffft, whatever, Mag. You are not old, not even close. And, yeah, I guess I feel a little different. I'm not sure how or why, but I kinda do."

She glances at me and then casually remarks, "This year's much different than last year, huh?"

I blow out a breath and my stomach knots a bit. "You could say that. I can't even believe sometimes that we're here, that things have turned out like they have, that Mom's still like she is. So much good mixed with so much sad. It's hard to figure out how to be happy sometimes, and to not feel guilty about laughing and enjoying myself."

Reaching for my juice, I take a drink. It's bitter, though I'm sure that has more to do with the emotion churning inside of me rather than the juice itself. Freshly squeezed and very sweet, I'm sure it's delicious. I just can't concentrate on that right now.

"Bella," Maggie begins and sets her spoon down. "Your mother would be so proud of you, so happy for you. You've found something here in Forks that's filled an empty space inside of you. Something that was missing even before what happened to your mom. I didn't know you or your mom before we met last year, but I've seen pictures, and they don't lie. You've needed Edward, needed these new friends for a long time and your mother would do nothing but encourage you to embrace it all. The good, the bad, the scary, the new, and everything in between, all of it, and make a new life for yourself."

I sniff. My throat's tight, straining as I try to keep a huge ball of emotion from rushing out of my mouth. Tears burn in the corners of my eyes and it hurts to breathe.

"I miss her. Every minute of every day. I want her here with me. I don't know how to be by myself," I whisper, staring at the table, too afraid to look at Maggie.

"That's so not true, sweetheart."

There's rustling and when I see a bright shiny blue bag overflowing with lime green and hot pink tissue paper and curlicue ribbons of every color under the rainbow spilling down the side I look up with a question in my eyes.

"Happy birthday, Bella."

The abrupt change of topic has me reeling, but there's a present in front of me and as much as I sometimes complain about receiving them, inside I like them every bit as much as the next girl. Sliding my hands through the crinkly paper I close my fingers around something cool, smooth, and hard. Pulling it out, I gasp. My fingers shake as I open the two-sided picture frame and when my brain catches up with my eyes, the images in front of me blur.

"Oh, Maggie," I breathe out, painfully and with effort.

On one side, there's a picture of me and Edward, from the day he came over and met Maggie. She must have taken it as soon as he walked in the door. His hair's a riot on top of his head, his cheeks are pink, either from running up the front porch steps or from smiling so much - probably both. Then there are his eyes. Oh, God his eyes. Vibrant, shining, Jolly Rancher green. My stomach feels like a hot air popcorn popper, bursts of fluttery feelings, one after the other, after the other. He loves me so much, and the way he's looking at me, like I'm his whole world; as if there's only one thing he's ever wanted in his entire life, and finally … finally … he has it, makes me the luckiest girl ever. I stare at myself, and see the exact same look on my face, the exact same shine in my eyes and the same smile.

My Edward.

My heart.

My gaze slides to the picture on the other side, and this time my shoulders shake and hiccups accompany the breaths that are getting harder and harder to take. Somehow Maggie found a picture of me and my mom, one I remember being taken but haven't ever seen.

"This was our last trip together," I say softly and look over at Maggie. "Mom had been going on and on about wanting to go to Hawaii, something about needing authentic lava rocks for some project she wanted to start, and when Phil's season was done, he surprised us both with a trip over Thanksgiving. It was so much fun."

Tears still flow, but the searing pain from just a moment ago is now just the ever-present dull ache. "Mom had wanted to try one of those touristy bicycles-built-for-two and Phil wouldn't do it with her. Mom wasn't known for her balance you know, so I did it. I remember Phil taking this picture of us waving as we rode by him, but I've never seen it."

"He told me that, when I asked him for a picture of you and your mom. He wanted you to have this one because he said it always reminds him of the best things about the two of you, how much fun you had together, and how much you loved each other. He says he has the same one at his apartment in Seattle and it's on his phone, too."

Maggie's words stun me, though looking at the picture again, I suppose they shouldn't. It's a beautiful picture.

I use the tip of my finger to trace over the image of my mom, so alive, so free, and I can feel the happiness she felt that day spread through me. Instead of making me sad it fills my heart with good things, the best things … a memory of a perfect day where all we did was laugh and smile and have fun. "He loved her so much and she was so happy with him."

"Bella," she begins, her voice soft but full of so much emotion. "You're not alone, not anymore. Look at that boy." She grins and points toward the picture of me and Edward. "That smile, that look on his face, is there because he loves you. Not just a little, not just kind of, but loves you with every bit of himself. It's so rare to see someone look at anyone else that way, but trust me, you will never, ever be alone as long as that boy has a breath in his body. You have me and Phil, too, always, no matter what happens, and now you have Edward and his parents and your new friends and you have a life. You have this new, exciting, sometimes overwhelming and, I'm sure, scary life, but there's a whole world out there waiting for you to experience it." She reaches over and lifts my chin so I'm looking into her eyes. "Don't ever let me hear you say you don't know how to be by yourself, because you do. You're strong, so much stronger than you think you are, you hear me? You could do it if you had to, but you don't."

I gulp, trying to suck in a huge breath but Maggie's arms around me squeeze it right back out. She lets me cry, though I don't feel all that sad. It's a strange mixture of relief … and hope. Of course the pain of not having my mom … or my dad … is there, as it always is, but there's so much more now. Things I was afraid to let myself feel or wish for, but are right there, waiting for me.

"Thank you, Mags."

She pats my back, knowing my thanks is for much, much more than a picture frame.

"Anything for you, my girl. I love you." She kisses my cheek and then stands to busy herself by clearing the dishes.

I smile at her. She's trying to be all sneaky, which she might be able to pull off if she didn't keep lifting her shoulder so she can wipe off her cheek … or if she stopped sniffing every few seconds. I go to her and stand on my tiptoes so I can reach her cheek.

"I love you, too, Maggie," I tell her softly before scooting out of the kitchen, a huge smile plastered on my face and feeling happier … lighter … than I think I've ever felt.

The feeling lasts all day.

About five o'clock my phone rings and I'm sure Edward can see my smile from his house. Before I can even say hello …

_You say it's your birthday_

_It's my birthday too-yeah_

_They say it's your birthday_

_We're gonna have a good time_

_I'm glad it's your birthday_

_Happy birthday to you._

I laugh. "Are you going to ask me for my panties now?"

Dead silence. "Holy shit, baby … give a guy a warning would you before you say the p word!"

"You gotta admit, that was pretty good."

He snorts. "Yeah, it was. My girl's up on her 80s movie trivia, who knew? I'm way cuter than the geek though and you are definitely hotter than Molly Ringwald … with or without panties on."

"Nice to know you think so."

I hear him sigh and when he starts talking again, his voice has lost all measure of teasing. "I'm on my way, are you ready for me?"

"Yeah, I am. I can't wait to see you. I've been thinking about you all day."

I'm in my room and Maggie's gift is already on my nightstand. I let my gaze still on the pictures and that same sense of light and happy is as present as it's been all day. "Wait until you see what Maggie gave me, it's just … it's so perfect."

"You sound … you sound lots better than I thought you would. Are you okay?"

I reach out and touch the picture of my mom and I can almost hear the way her laugh sounded that day. "I really am. Hurry, okay? I miss you."

"Be there in less than five. I love you, Bella, so much."

I glance at our picture. I can see how much in bright, vivid color.

"I know. I love you, too."

I end the call and hurry to the bathroom so I can fix my hair and brush my teeth. He's been a busy little bee all day, or so he's told me through the numerous text messages he's sent every few minutes. The tease. He hasn't told me much about tonight, but he's been dropping hints all week, even more so today. I know we're having dinner at his house. I know that everyone will be eating with us. I have no idea what we're having or what the plans are for after dinner. All I know is what Rose told me. "If you don't kiss that boy all over his face at the end of the night, you seriously can't call yourself a girl ever again. He's getting major swoonage points, Bella. His stockpile's going to be so big, he'll be able to use them for a long, long time, like even after your honeymoon. Trust me."

Her sky blue eyes twinkled like I'd never seen them and I swear she even sighed. Rose never sighs. Ever.

My stomach flutters just thinking about it. I place my hands on the edge of the counter and let them support my weight as I stare at myself in the mirror. I look … happy. So, so happy. And content. And so very loved.

How can I ask or want anything more?

A quick inventory - black skirt that makes my legs look pretty damn good, cute shirt just tight enough to drive Edward a little crazy, hair down, straight and shiny, and smelling like peppermint, a few brushes of mascara, then lip gloss, a spray of perfume in all the right places and I'm as ready as I'm going to get.

Perfect timing, too, because just as I turn around to walk back into my bedroom, I hear the doorbell.

"Deep breath, Bella. You can do this," I murmur to myself as I head for the front door.

One more breath, in then slowly out before I turn the doorknob and there he is. Smiling so big, arms already open and waiting for me. I don't make him wait, not even a second.

"Happy birthday, baby," he says as he kisses my cheek then slides his lips until his mouth is on mine. The kiss is deep and not anywhere near long enough. "I've been waiting for that all fucking day." His eyes widen in appreciation when he steps back and looks down then slowly up. "You look fantastic. Wow."

I give myself a silent high-five for changing my mind from the pants I'd put on first to the skirt I have on now. Especially given the way Edward's eyes linger on my legs. When his eyes find mine again, my knees feel a little wobbly from the intensity of his very heated gaze. Like he'd like nothing more than to gobble me up with a spoon right here, right now.

Oh, my.

My cheeks are warm, they have to be, because I'm hot all over. Edward keeps staring which isn't helping at all. His eyes darken and his mouth lifts in a smirk that is anything but sweet. It's naughty and sexy and it makes me want things like his fingers and his tongue on every part of my body.

He reaches for my hand and slides his fingers between mine. And just like that, the mood has shifted. Not that he doesn't want me, not that I don't want him just as much, but when he gently rubs his thumb back and forth on my hand, it's as if without saying a word we tell each other that as fun as flirting is, and it's definitely high up on my list of the most fun things ever, we'll have to come back to it later.

It's okay. I'm ready.

"Thank you for coming early. This is really important to me," I tell him when I look up from our joined hands and into the eyes that are always full of so much love for me.

"I know it is and you don't have to thank me, Bella. I'll always do anything for you." He runs a hand through his hair. "I'm nervous," he answers back with a hesitant chuckle.

His immediate and unabashed honesty melts most of my nerves away. "There's nothing to be nervous about. Come on," I say as I pull him into the house. "Let's do this and then get to your house. I'm dying to see what all the fuss has been about."

He cocks his head to the side like he can't quite believe I'm teasing right now. "I'm fine, promise. Today's been great so far, and tonight's going to be even better."

"I hope so. I just wanted to make today one you won't ever forget."

"Having you in my life makes it the best one ever, everything else is just icing … on my birthday cake … hopefully cream cheese frosting; you know it's my favorite."

He chuckles again. "Bella."

"Edward." I grin right back.

I lead him down the hallway and I'm sure he's looking at everything. We stop outside of Mom's door and he squeezes my hand. I sigh … the things he does for me.

"You don't have to do this if you're not ready," I tell him, staring at the dark wooden door in front of me. I can hear the _whooosh, pffft_ from inside. Never has opening this door felt this way, as if it's the first step toward a future I didn't even know was out there for me.

That sense of peace and light settles again and instead of being afraid of opening the door, like I've thought all along I would be, instead, I can't wait.

"Bella," Edward leans forward and whispers in my ear. "Show me. Share her with me. I'm ready. I want to do this."

He pinches my hip, just enough to make me jump and then my hand's on the door, turning the knob, and letting Edward inside.

Mom looks the same as always. Still, so very still, covered in blankets from her chest to her toes. Eyes closed, arms along her side, her mouth set in a perpetual almost-smile. I swear, sometimes, and I know it's only wishful thinking on my part, but when I tell her something, usually about Edward or Phil, I can almost see the corners lift, ever so slightly. It's a dream, I know it is, but my heart always feels a little better when I let myself believe.

"Hi, Mom," I say softly as I move to stand beside the bed. I reach for her hand. Cold as always. The skin so translucent it shows every blue vein beneath. Soft, still so soft, but these aren't my mom's hands. There's no dirt from her garden or paint from whatever project she's just started. No, they're clean, with perfectly filed brittle nails.

"Edward's here. I told you I'd bring him, even though it's taken me longer than it should have to introduce him to you."

"Hi, Mrs. Dwyer," Edward says in a shaky voice. He steps up beside me and I can't help but watch. His eyes bounce everywhere. Mom's face, her hand in mine, the machines beside the bed, around the room, from one thing to the next.

He holds his breath, then lets it out in a long, drawn-out exhale. The fingers of the hand that's not squeezing mine curl then stretch. He's nervous. Or uncomfortable. Neither is unexpected.

"She looks like she's sleeping," he whispers then clamps his mouth shut, looking at me with wide eyes as if he's said something wrong.

I let go of Mom's hand and push her hair up off her forehead. "She does."

"I asked my dad what I should expect. He tried to explain, but I didn't … I mean," he stammers and I tug on his hand until he faces me.

"Hey. There's no wrong or right way to talk to her, you know. Your dad tells me to keep talking to her, but I think that's for me a lot more than for her. He just doesn't want to say what everyone else keeps telling me; that no matter how much I want it, she's gone."

"Bella," and for the first time, I can really hear how sad Edward is for me, how much this hurts him.

I can't say anything because I know if I open my mouth, I'm liable to start crying. I don't want to cry anymore today. Not about Mom.

"I still think somehow, some tiny part of her can hear me. Maybe it's just her spirit or whatever, but she has to be able to hear me because I can hear her when we talk. All the little things she's always told me. That it's okay to eat chocolate for breakfast because there's never a bad time. She swore if you made a wish on the first star you saw at night, it would come true, no matter what it was. And that I could do anything I wanted to, even if what I wanted was to sell cotton candy at Disney all day or become the first drum playing female President." My chest hurts, it's hard to breathe, and tears begin to fall. I shake my head, a little embarrassed to let Edward see me so nakedly vulnerable. "I'm sure you think I'm just being foolish, but I know what I feel."

Edward's arm is around my shoulder and he pulls me in close. "Baby, no. Your mom sounds amazing and she loved you so much. I've been in this room only a few minutes and I can feel it, Bella. I can."

I wrap my arms around his waist and lay my head over his rapidly beating heart. "I loved both of my parents so much. They were such amazing people. It's not fair that I don't have them, Edward. I want them back."

"I know, baby. It's not fair. And I'd give them back to you if I could," he whispers as he kisses the top of my head.

"I'm going to have to let her go, too," I say, choking back a sob.

"I know."

"I don't know if I can."

He sighs and his arms hold me tighter. "I know that, too."

We stand together for a few minutes, each of us lost in our own thoughts. A wayward memory flits in my mind and I chuckle. I feel him smile. "Care to share?"

"I was just remembering this one time Dad took us all camping, even Mom. She complained the whole time, it was too hot, it was too cold, too many bugs, just on and on and on. Until it got dark and Dad made her her first s'more. She ate so many she got sick, but then begged him to make her one for breakfast."

"I wish I could have met him. Do you think he would have liked me? Oh shit, he had guns, didn't he? And probably knew all the best places to hide a body. He'd have probably taken me camping and dumped my ass in the middle of the desert with the rattlesnakes and scorpions and mountain lions." He gulps loudly and I can't help it, I laugh until there are happy tears sliding down my cheeks.

And just like that, all the heaviness is gone.

He huffs and narrows his eyes at me. "Why are you laughing? Rattlesnakes, Bella."

"Well, considering we're not in Phoenix, my dad's been gone for a long time, and as far as I know, Phil's terrified of anything that slithers on the ground, I think you're safe."

I smile at him and his answering one lights up the entire room.

We spend the next few minutes talking quietly. He asks questions, I answer as best I'm able. I think seeing her has helped him understand me and this whole situation a lot better. I'm glad for that.

"You look so much like her," he says after a few minutes of silence.

"I've always thought so. Growing up everyone always told me I looked just like my dad. I think it was the hair, but once it was just me and Mom, I didn't see much of my dad in me anymore."

Edward finds the picture hanging on the wall beside Mom's bed of my parents and me on our last trip to Disney. "It's the eyes. You have his, but your smile, that's all your mom."

My heart fills so much I swear it might just fly away.

"I love that you said that, thank you."

"Thank you for sharing this with me. I know it's not easy."

Silly boy, doesn't he know that with him, everything is easy?

"Are you ready to go? I don't want to keep everyone waiting," I turn toward him and ask.

"They can wait. We'll stay however long you need."

And again, I wonder how it's possible to love him any more.

I turn back around and kiss Mom's cheek. "We're going to go now, Mom. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, okay? I love you."

When Edward steps around me and leans over, my heart stops. Gently, so, so gently, he kisses her forehead. "I'm going to take such good care of her, Mrs. Dwyer. You don't have to worry about her ever again. I promise."

My voice has disappeared, but as soon as we walk out the front door, without saying goodbye to Maggie, I fling myself at him. Arms around his neck, legs around his waist, as close as I can possibly get and I kiss him so long and so hard, showing him everything I only wish I could say.

_Thank you _

_I love you _

_Because of you, I'll never be alone again. _

When we come up for air, Edward's eyes are a little wild. "Um … not that I'll ever complain about you using me as your personal tree and by all means, you can kiss me like that whenever the urge strikes you, but what the hell was that?"

I shrug my shoulders and grin. "Just felt like kissing you is all."

His eyes burn into mine and I have no doubt he knows exactly what that was … and why I kissed him. He knows every part of me.

"Well, like I said, feel free to do it again." He kisses me quickly on the cheek. "And again." He slides his lips to my neck, scraping his teeth along my skin until he bites down on my earlobe. "And again." And this time it's his tongue in my mouth leaving me breathless and dizzy.

"Come on." He laughs as he pulls me down the stairs and toward his car. "We gotta get the hell out of here before all my hard work is ruined … or Emmett starts eating without us."

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**So, there we go. I didn't make it to the dinner, but after almost 8k words I had to pick a stopping place! Next time is all the fun stuff, and it's already started so no extra waiting this time! **

**Our girl's taken some huge steps forward, yes? She's getting there. And our boy, he's something else, isn't he? I love them both. **

**Be sure to sign up for the blog and join the group on FB. When things come up, like skipping a week for updating, I post that info in both places. It's the best way for me to keep you guys in the loop! I also get in the mood to post teasers and pictures, besides I like to be able to chat with y'all, too! So sign up! **

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**Thanks again for being so patient with me. I hope you know how much you and this story mean to me! Let me know what you thought of the chapter, I've missed hearing from you! **

**See you next week! **


	17. The Rhythm of the Night

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own the plot.**

***sigh* I so didn't mean for there to be another delay, honest, but things just got away from me again. I'm trying, y'all, I am. Keep hanging in there with me, I'll do better, promise. Thank you so much for your patience, understanding, and support. You guys are the best readers, EVER!**

**A HUGE thanks, again, to my girls. Seriously. They have all gone so far above and beyond, they've been to the moon and back. I love you all, so, so much and your help and love and unwavering friendships mean the world to me. **

**Okay, I've made you all wait long enough, let's see what our guy has planned for his girl! **

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**Chapter 15 - The Rhythm of the Night**

**BPOV **

"You ready?" he asks with as crooked a grin as I've ever seen on his face.

He's so excited about this.

Wild horses couldn't stop me from smiling back at him even if my stomach's turning more than a gymnast performing a floor routine. Flips, roundoffs, and handsprings … over and over and over again.

I nod and he threads our fingers together. He pushes open the front door, hollering, "Mom! We're here!"

"Bella!" I hear and before I can even look to see where the voice came from, I'm surrounded. Arms wrap around me, lips kiss my cheek, hands pat on my back, and through it all, Edward never lets go.

Once everyone steps back I think I might be able to breathe again, but when I gaze into each of their faces, I get so choked up, no breathing is going to happen anytime soon. Choruses of Happy Birthday come fast and furious. I hear Emmett's excited voice, Alice's happy squeal, Angela's calm hello. My friends … they're something else.

Edward grins at me, happy and so proud of himself.

My guy is pretty awesome.

"Bella, dear, it's so good to see you! Happy birthday!" Esme calls sweetly as she wanders into the living room from the kitchen. She immediately pulls me to her and gives me a hug. I can't help but squeeze her back and scoot closer. Esme gives the best hugs. They're warm and make me feel safe, comforted, and so loved.

"Now that Bella's here does that mean it's time to eat?"

Emmett.

Of course.

Everyone steps back and I finally have a chance to look around. The room is decorated. Simple, though not plain and absolutely perfect. So perfect it makes my heart jump into my throat. There are a few vases overflowing with flowers spread throughout the room. The dining room table off to the right is already set, the centerpiece another flower arrangement, this time with my favorite hydrangeas looking like pastel-colored snowballs. A table off to the side has a cake on it and above a simple white banner with deep violet sparkly letters that reads "Happy Birthday Bella" is strung.

Delicious aromas waft through the air. Spicy and familiar. The amount of thought Edward's put into everything is nothing short of incredible.

"He did good, huh?" Rose asks with a grin and a bump of a hip.

I glance at him laughing with Jasper and his dad and my heart swells. "He's the best."

"Just wait, sweetheart, you ain't seen nothing yet."

Her blue eyes twinkle devilishly and mine roll at her. I hate not knowing, but as I look around and see all the people who have become my family, I already know I've been given the best present I could ever possibly have - a place to belong and people who love and want me.

Alice and Angela join Rose and me and we chat for a few minutes about the football game last night. I tell them about Phil's phone call this morning and about Maggie fixing me breakfast.

Rose asks quietly, "And how did the visit with your mom go? Was it hard?"

As if he knows we're talking about him, Edward glances in my direction and his smile warms me all over. His eyebrows raise in question and I roll my eyes playfully at him. He's always so concerned. At times it's a bit over-the-top, but I know it comes from a good place so I don't complain … much. It's hard sometimes to bite my tongue and I don't always manage to keep from snapping at him when he's being particularly overbearing. He may know me better than I know myself sometimes, but we still have a lot to learn about each other. How to be Bella and Edward, both as a couple and as individuals.

An elbow in the side makes me jump.

"Girl, you didn't hear a word I just said, did you?" Alice giggles and pretend scowls at me.

"Sorry, Ali."

She grins. Alice's bubbly personality is like lemon cake. Bright, sugary, with just a hint of tart so that you can't ever forget it's there. She's one of the most genuine people I've ever met and her smile lights up a room brighter than any spotlight. When Alice smiles, you feel it.

"What I said was, next weekend we should totally try to go to Seattle to watch the guys play. The weather's supposed pretty decent and there's no football game so it's a perfect time to get you out of town and let you watch your guy rule the field. We can have a girls' night at the hotel Saturday night and we can have lunch before we head home on Sunday. What do you say? Please come, we'll have so much fun."

And then she pouts … and it's impossible to resist. Not to mention I don't want to. I've been wanting to watch Edward play for the longest time and now I can. The thought of leaving still leaves me cold, but it's not as paralyzing as it once was.

I grin, she squeals, and Rose just shakes her head like she knew it all along.

The next thing I know, I'm in the air and two giant arms wrapped around me.

Emmett booms, "Birthday Bella!" He swings me around in a circle and by the time I'm on my feet, I'm slightly dizzy. How a guy as big as he is can move so quickly is truly a mystery. "It might be your big day and all, and no making fun of us young ones either, but please tell me that I can have the leftover guacamole. Please?"

My mouth waters at the mention of guacamole. I haven't made it into the kitchen so I have no idea what we're having, though my nose certainly recognizes enough to know that Mexican is definitely on the menu.

And oh my God, is Emmett ever working the pout like a champ?

My two favorite arms slide around my waist and Edward rests his chin on my shoulder. "Dude, I made plenty, so chill."

I spin, and look at him in surprise. "You cooked?"

He nods proudly.

"You're damn straight I did. Picked the entire menu from start to finish. We're having all your favorites." He says it so casually, like he hasn't just knocked me over with a feather.

Esme calls him into the kitchen and I watch him go, utterly stupefied. This day just gets more amazing with each passing minute.

A slight pressure on my arm and I look up to find Carlisle, looking as handsome as ever. No matter what Edward says, his dad is hot. No two ways about it.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart," he says warmly as he leans in to kiss my cheek. "I haven't had a chance to tell you yet as you've been surrounded since you walked through the door."

So smooth this man is, so cool and collected.

"Thanks, Dr. C," I tell him with a big smile.

He leads me a few steps away from everyone and I know before he even asks what he's going to say. "How did the visit with your mom go? Edward seemed to think quite well all things considering."

I nod, agreeing with Edward. "It was hard, but I'm really glad we did it. It means a lot to me, you know? I can't pretend Mom's not a part of my life, even if she can't be with me the way I want her to be. I think Edward understands more, now."

He looks at me and I'm so thankful all I see in his eyes is compassion and warmth and not pity. "It's a very difficult situation for you, Phil, and Edward as well. All he wants to do is help you and it's hard sometimes to watch the person you love struggle and know there's not really anything you can do to help but be there for you."

I hear Edward laugh in the kitchen and even though I can't see him, just the sound is enough to make me smile. "He does so much, more than he can ever possibly know. All of you have, really. You, Mrs. Cullen, and our friends. I can't believe how much has changed in only a few months."

It's still so surreal to me sometimes, at the way my life has gone since Edward stumbled across me in the woods. It's actually downright scary to think about. I can't even imagine not having Edward or Rose or Emmett or Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. It makes me sick to my stomach to even consider it … not good when there's Mexican food in my very near future.

Carlisle leans forward and kisses my cheek and squeezes my arm. "We all love you. If you need anything, ever, please don't hesitate to ask, okay? And I won't ever turn down your sugar cookies, in case you were wondering." He winks and boy does my stomach flip-flop at the sight.

No wonder Edward can manage to turn me into a gooey mess all the time. He definitely learned from the best around. Lucky Esme … and lucky me, too as far as that goes.

"Okay, everyone, dinner's ready," Edward calls as he carries a dish of steaming enchiladas to the table.

"About time, a man could starve waiting on you, Eddie!" Emmett cries as he rushes toward the table.

"Dude, trust me. You are not going to die of starvation," Jasper teases as we all take our seats.

"Can I help?" I ask as he sets the dish down in the middle of the table.

He snorts and rolls his eyes then turns around which assuredly gives me my answer when he walks off without answering me.

"Bella, you're the birthday girl. You get to be spoiled. Enjoy it, girl!" Rose laughs as she sits down across from me. "And you," she swats the back of Emmett's hand as he tries to be sneaky, "wait until everyone is sitting down before you dig into the chips. Jeesh."

"But babe," he whines, giving her a pout to rival Alice. "Everything looks so good. Who knew Eddie could make such good grub?"

Looking at the table covered with dishes of delicious food, I have to agree. Bubbling enchiladas, crispy chimichangas, sizzling beef and chicken fajitas, fluffy Spanish rice, refried beans, bowls of salsa and guacamole, baskets of chips - the table is overflowing.

Once everyone is seated, Carlisle clears his throat. "I asked Edward if he minded me making the toast for the birthday girl. Seeing as how his mother and I have instilled in him such fine manners, he said, 'Of course, Dad, but you know that means I get first dibs on the leftovers.' Ah, my boy, always thinking about food … or well, it used to be that way until Bella came into the picture."

Edward laughs beside me and squeezes my hand before he says, "Whatever, Dad. You know you like to hear yourself talk."

Carlisle smirks and his blue eyes twinkle as he looks at me. "This is true, but in all seriousness, I did want to take a few moments to wish Bella a very happy birthday. Sweetheart, I can't even begin to tell you what an absolute pleasure it's been getting to know you. You're such a blessing to all of us and though we all know there are people missing from the table today, we hope you know how deeply you are loved, not just by Edward, but by each of us."

My eyes are watering so it's hard to see him through my tears when he lifts his glass and finishes by saying, "Happy birthday, Bella. May this year be better than the last."

"I love you, baby," Edward leans over and whispers in my ear right before kissing me quickly on my cheek. He smirks. "My dad, the man who can make a toast like no other."

I totally agree.

I have to clear my throat a few times before I can speak, but I can't let another moment go by without saying something. I lean closer to Edward as if attempting to draw strength from him, which might be a little needy on my part, but oh, well. He drapes an arm across my shoulders and I give him a quick look of thanks before turning toward everyone else. "Um … I'm not very good at this but let me just say thank you to you, Dr. Cullen and Mrs. Cullen and all the rest of you for making this day one I'll never forget. I can't even begin to tell you all how much you mean to me and ah … I love you guys, so much." I can feel my face burn but I glance around the table and smile at everyone before looking up at Edward. "And you, Mr. Sneakypants, all of this … I don't even know what to say, but thank you and I love you."

Everyone at the table laughs when I bury my nose in Edward's neck. I stay there, ignoring them all until I get control of myself. Between Carlisle's speech and seeing the table surrounded by all the people that mean the world to me, I'm having the hardest time not bursting into tears. Of course Edward knows this so he just holds me close until I'm ready to sit up.

As soon as I do, Emmett begs, "Can we eat now?"

I don't even get past the 's' in yes before his hands shoot out and he starts spooning food onto his plate. The rest follow his lead and soon the room is filled with talking and laughter and moans as we devour the best tasting Mexican food I've had in ages.

I nudge Edward with my elbow. "This is so good," I tell him as I shovel another bite of dripping, gooey, cheese enchiladas in my mouth. I'm stuffed but I can't stop eating.

He beams. I can tell how much thought he's put into everything and I'm seriously impressed by his cooking abilities. Not even gonna lie.

"I just wanted you to spend some time with all our friends and family." He leans in closer. "Not to mention, I'm hoping you'll be so impressed by my skills in the kitchen you won't be able to keep your hands off me later. It's a win, win, baby. We eat good food, I get your hot little hands all over my body. Pure genius if you ask me."

He winks when my mouth hangs open before he dives into a conversation with Jasper and Ben about some movie coming out soon they all want to see. I look around the table and my heart fills with so much love and happiness I'm not sure how I don't just float away. I'm not sure Edward will ever truly know how much he's given me. Not only do I have the most amazing boyfriend in the history of boyfriends, but I have an entire family full of incredible people and a place where I belong.

Suddenly, I need a few seconds because I really feel like I'm losing it. Thankfully, Esme is supermom and she lays a hand on my arm.

"Help me take a few things to the kitchen," she says so softly no one else can hear her and I nod, grateful for the excuse to escape.

Edward quirks his eyebrow when I move to get up and his eyes narrow when he stares at me. I smile, a bit wobbly, but a smile nonetheless and he gives me one back.

"You okay?" he asks when I lean over and pick up his plate.

"Perfect," I answer back, because I am, really. I just need a few minutes to breathe.

Once we bring the dishes into the kitchen and get them loaded in the dishwasher, she dries her hands on a towel and then gives me an Esme hug, squeezing so tightly it's almost impossible to breathe. I let her hold me, reveling in the way it feels to be comforted by her. We don't say anything; there's no reason to. She knows what I'm feeling without me even having to say it. I miss my mom and dad. I want Phil here. I love my life now and all the people in it, but that doesn't mean I don't wish some things could be different.

She kisses the top of my head and then holds me away from her so she can look at me. "Better now?"

I smile and nod. Esme always makes things better. "Good. Now it's time for cake and presents. We're on a strict timeline here, and goodness knows we need plenty of time for Emmett to eat cake. You should see him on his birthday! Mercy, the boy is positively ridiculous, but I love him like my own, so what can we do but let him do his thing?"

We both laugh as she hands me a stack of dessert plates and then we go back to the dining room.

The next hour passes in a blur. There's way too many presents. Each is simply wonderful, but none as incredible as the necklace Edward gives me.

"Oh, Edward, it's gorgeous," I say softly, too choked up to say anymore.

With trembling hands I lift it from the black velvet box and hold it in front of me. The necklace is sterling silver and has two interlocking hearts with a diamond in the middle dangling from a delicate silver chain. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Edward takes the necklace from me and motions for me to turn so he can put it on. He leans forward and whispers in my ear, "It's your heart and my heart, together … linked forever."

I don't even try to stop the tears that fall and I turn around and kiss him over and over again. "Thank you. Oh my God, Edward. It's the most special thing anyone's ever given me! I'm never going to take it off. I love you, I love you."

He squeezes me and I can tell he was nervous about the gift, but holy smokes, he couldn't have picked out anything more perfect.

Our moment is interrupted by Emmett yet again. "Okay, no smooching when there's cake to be had."

Esme carries my cake into the room, and Jasper, Ben, and Angela lead the most off-key rendition of _Happy Birthday_ I've ever heard. It's fabulous. As is the cake. Apparently, Emmett thinks the same thing since he eats three pieces. Where he fits all that food, I'll never know, but by the time Edward has loaded all my gifts in the car, Emmett looks like he's about to lapse into a food coma.

It takes forever to say thank you and goodbye … and when Edward pulls me toward the car, I go back for one more round of hugs. I can't help it, I have to. I make it through without crying, at least until I get to Rose.

"Details, Bella. Tomorrow, okay? And enjoy the rest of your night. Remember what I said about the swooning? Be prepared to be swept off your feet." She hugs me tightly and kisses my cheek. "Love you, babe. We'll talk in the morning."

"Love you, too," is all I manage to get out before Edward has me in the front seat and shuts the door.

He faces me when he gets in his seat and the smile on his face is infectious. "You ready for the next part?"

I nod, a little worried that my heart can't take much more, and he begins to back out of the driveway.

"Me, too," he says once we're on the road. "I hope you like what I have planned."

I reach for his hand and link our fingers together. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it's going to be great."

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**EPOV**

After the organized chaos at my house, the silence inside the car as we head toward Port Angeles is abrupt, but much welcomed. The asphalt beneath the tires is smooth, the music in the car soft and soothing, and when Bella sighs and settles into her seat, almost melting into the leather, a tension I didn't even realize was there evaporates.

Today's been good.

Today's been really fucking good.

The party? A huge success. Dinner? Fucking amazing if I do say so myself. Every dish was perfection judging from the lack of leftovers and the way Emmett's stomach grew to make room for his food baby. It was pretty damn enjoyable deciding on the menu and then cooking everything with Mom. I can make some kick ass salsa … who knew? And then the gifts? Wow. I knew Mom and Dad were buying Bella a Kindle, but no one else would tell me what they were getting her and I have to say, I'm impressed. I probably shouldn't be. I know how much they all love Bella, but every single gift was given with the utmost thought and was something truly for her and her alone.

Our friends are the shit.

Then there's the whole Renée thing, which I can't even wrap my head around yet. It's going to take me awhile to really appreciate the magnitude of what happened at her house. So many emotions to wade through, so many conflicting feelings. I know Bella and I will need to talk about it all, but not tonight. Soon though. The stark reality of seeing her mom like that, laying there so still, almost like she's already gone, and talking to her like she's not was probably the hardest thing I've ever done. I'd do it again though. A hundred times, a thousand, if that's what Bella needs. I understand more now. I thought I did before, but I wasn't even close to fully comprehending what Bella lives with every day.

She's so damned strong. The strongest person I know.

I peek at her, and my stomach does the twisty turny thing when the moonlight reflects off her necklace. It looks so much better laying against her skin than I even imagined it would. She sighs again but keeps her head turned toward the window. I wonder what she's thinking about. I hope it's me. My eyes stay locked on her as I watch her chest rise then fall, the dangling hearts resting right above the swell of her breasts. _Christ_. A soft, small smile appears out of nowhere as her fingers reach up and trace the pendant. The action is so unconscious, but it steals my breath for a moment. Damn what she does to me, most of the time without even trying. There's a flare of heat that shoots right between my legs. I have to adjust, shifting from one side of my ass to the other when Bella turns toward me and stretches her legs out, showing way too much smooth, pale skin for it to be safe to keep looking at her.

Her eyes get big. Two spots of pink bloom on her cheeks and she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth as she keeps looking at me. She rubs her thighs together which makes her already short skirt lift even higher on her legs. Tease. She's trying to kill me; she has to be. She giggles. Yeah, she definitely knows what she's doing. Thankfully, for my sanity and frankly our safety, she takes pity on me and pulls her skirt down and curls her legs beneath her, which while showing less skin does nothing but make me want to see more.

Again.

Soon.

Needing a distraction, I ask her when she lays her head on the seat behind her, "Are you tired?"

A slight shake of her head. Hair brushing across the top of her shoulders. "Nah, not really. A little maybe. It's been a big day."

I squeeze her hand, the one I haven't let go of since we hit the highway. Hours. It's been hours since one part of me hasn't been touching one part of her. Hands clasped, index fingers hooked together, my leg pressed against hers while we ate dinner, my arm around her shoulder while she opened her gifts … we've been in constant contact.

I lift our hands and kiss the back of hers. "A good one though, right?"

"The best."

Now I sigh. My stomach drops when we pass the sign saying there are only ten miles left until we get to Port Angeles. God, I hope she likes what I have planned for her. The dinner and the party … I was pretty sure those would go off without a hitch and be something she'd really enjoy, but this, what we're about to do? It could go really, really well or really, really badly. Silently, I shake my head at my over-dramatic ass. I know how much Bella's been looking forward to something like this, so I'm almost positive that any tears will be happy ones … but still, you never can tell. Today's been really emotional for her, I just hope this isn't too much.

My eyes flick to the floorboard behind Bella's seat and the leg not attached to the foot pressing on the gas pedal begins to bounce. Quick and jerky, and then the fidgeting starts, growing and growing with each passing mile.

"You know, if you're this wound up over what we're going to be doing in a few minutes, you can always get it over with and tell me now, that way you don't have to worry about it any longer. Plus, you won't bounce your leg right through the bottom of your car." She grins at me, teasing, and it's tempting, oh so fucking tempting to just spit it out.

I've been planning this night for weeks now, trying to picture the look on her face. As much as I'm dying to tell her, I keep my mouth shut. I'm going to savor this as long as I can. "No can do, baby. Nice try, though."

I blow out a nervous breath and clear my throat. It feels like there's peanut butter lodged in the back and I have to swallow a few times just so it feels like I can breathe. Of course my heart's beating like a bass drum, the thump thump making my chest feel like it's going to crack at any second. I slide my hand from hers, immediately missing the feel of her skin against mine and grow some balls as I reach behind the seat and pick up the package I'd hidden there earlier.

Bella's necklace, the task of picking it out a heart attack waiting to happen in and of itself, is nothing compared to the pure panic I feel now as I set the hastily and sloppily wrapped present in her lap.

She jumps, an adorable squeak bursting from her mouth when she looks down. "Edward, what, another gift? You've already done so much."

"I … well …" I stammer and she giggles, thinking I'm embarrassed or something I guess. If she only knew.

Her hands flutter over the package on her lap, the paper crinkles as she moves her legs, and my heart's in my throat. _Jesus, if she hates this …_

"Bella," I say in a strained voice, laying my hand over hers to still it. "I … ah …"

"Hey." She cocks her head to the side and gazes intently at me, which makes it hard to look back at her because I'm driving. Thankfully my timing is really good … or really fucking horrible, because we're almost to the college.

"Just … just wait a sec, okay?" I gulp. I really should have thought things out a little better.

I know she's wondering what the hell is wrong with me, not that I blame her. I drive through campus. The trees make it a little hard to make out the buildings, but luckily I'm a bit of an over-planner and made a trial run one night to make sure I could find where to go. We're on a timeline and I didn't want to waste a minute driving around looking for the right place to go. Bella's quiet, so quiet, and I can almost hear the wheels turning in her pretty head, trying to figure out what in the world I could possibly be doing here.

I park right in front. Everything's dark, just a few security lamps to cut through the inky black. Leaves swish with the gentle breeze casting the odd shadow here and there from the moonlight. It's quiet as the car settles once I turn it off. She fidgets in her seat, her bottom lip firmly between her teeth. She's anxious but excited. I can tell because her eyes shine … they only do that when she's playful and happy … or my favorite, turned on.

Her hands move to the package on her lap and again I cover them with one of my own.

I take a deep breath and hold it until it burns. Seriously, what she's about to open has caused more than a few sleepless nights. Monetarily it's worth hardly anything, but symbolically, it's as close to everything as I can get.

Turning sideways is a trick with the steering wheel and the gearshift between us but I need to see her.

"Okay, wow. This is not how I wanted this to go." I huff and open my mouth, then close it, then open again. "Christ, okay, here's the thing. I got you this and I'm really fucking nervous about giving it to you. I want to, but I don't want to ruin what's been a pretty perfect day so far, and I damn sure don't want to do anything to mess up what's waiting inside. Shit … baby, I just … I wanted to …"

I close my eyes and instantly feel her soft fingertips on my lips. "Shush. I have no idea why you're getting so worked up. Edward, whatever this is, whatever you've done will be wonderful because it came from you. Now, can I open this before you have a stroke and I don't get to see what you and Rose have been mercilessly teasing me about?"

I blow out a gust of breath, and mumble, "Go ahead."

Holy hell. My heart's beating so hard it's seriously about to crack right out of my chest. Seconds is all takes for Bella to rip through the paper. Getting ready to take my driving test to get my license, waiting for word about making the Regional team, even walking into her building that first night is nothing compared to what I feel like right now. My eyes are riveted to her fingers as she pulls at the paper to expose what's beneath.

A sharp gasp. Her fingers freeze mid-brush over the powder blue cotton. My stomach falls.

Fuck.

And then, there are arms squeezing the hell out of me and soft, warm lips all over my face. Sugar cookies and peppermint. Heaven.

"Thank you!" Kiss. "Thank you!" Another one, a smack on the lips this time. She leans back, a huge, brilliant smile on her gorgeous face. "Oh, God, how did you … I can't believe … Edward." At my name, she sighs, deeply. Her shoulders lift, then drop, her head falls forward.

"So it's good, it's okay?" I bite my thumbnail. I never bite my nails, but honestly, giving Bella a Disney t-shirt is a huge deal.

"It's better than okay, it's perfect." Her voice is shaky but her eyes are shining and she hasn't stopped smiling so I smile back.

She sits up straighter in the seat and before my brain can catch up with my eyes, she whips her shirt off and pulls the t-shirt over her head. Damn, she's so fast I don't even get to enjoy seeing her almost topless. But when she flips her hair out from beneath the shirt and her eyes find mine, none of that matters.

"I love it. I love you. This is just … it's so … thank you."

I lean forward, needing to kiss her more than I need to breathe. My hand slides to the back of her neck and I pull her toward me. Her lips are soft and warm beneath mine, sweet from the icing on her birthday cake. I sweep my tongue across hers and want more. I always want more. Kissing Bella … it's my favorite thing to do. Her taste moves through me, opening up every part of me. My heart, my soul, everything. She owns it all.

We break apart when we have to breathe. I don't know about her, but my heart's beating triple time.

The end of her index finger lightly traces the picture of Rapunzel. I swallow thickly as I watch it move closer and closer to her breasts. My fingers twitch in response. I want to touch her in the worst way, but I resist, and sit back in my seat content to just watch her for the moment. The light blue looks so good on her; I knew it would.

"Why this one?" she asks when she lifts her head and sees me watching her.

My cheeks heat and the tips of my ears burn. _Damn it_. But I answer anyway. "I like to play with your hair, you know this. It's soft and always smells so fucking good. Rapunzel's all about the hair. It's probably stupid," I trail off.

I can't even brace myself she's so fast. My head bumps the window as she flings herself at me. "Every single thing about today has been incredible thanks to you. It's been the best day ever," she softly says against my neck. "I love you so much, Edward. So, so much."

I'm bent like a Gumby doll but I sure love feeling so much of her against so much of me. I pull her closer. I spend a few quiet seconds running my fingers through her hair and when she sighs I kiss the top of her head. "I told you, I can't keep my fingers out of your hair. Especially when you're this close." I shift a little though, the door handle is digging into the small of my back and it hurts like hell. "Okay, we need to get moving. We only have a limited amount of time and I want as much of it as I can get with you."

She scoots back to her seat and looks out the front window of the car, finally realizing where we are. She turns to me and raises an eyebrow.

"Come on, the last part of your surprise is right inside."

I get out and walk around to open her door.

"Ready?" I ask as I pull her up.

"This is your show, I'm just along for the ride." The expression on her face is priceless, eager and playful with just enough nervousness for me to want to promise her everything will be okay.

I snort and slide my fingers between hers and lead her up the steps of the building. I knock on the door, nerves blooming and pulse racing.

I want this. I want this for both of us.

The wait after I knock on the locked door seems to take forever. I bounce on the balls of my feet, my fingers twitch against my leg, and I scowl at Bella when she giggles.

"What? It's kind of adorable to see you so nervous and flustered. You're always so confident and sure about everything." She shrugs one shoulder and tips her head to the side. The silvery white light from above shines down on her and for a moment, I can't breathe.

"You're so beautiful," I whisper.

Before she can say anything back, a loud click grabs both of our attention and the door swings open. Felix.

"Edward, right on time," he says as I stick my hand out and shake his.

He laughs and I groan. Apparently I'm trying to shake his arm right off his body. He motions us inside and we follow him until we're in the small entryway. I glance at Bella, her eyes wide and taking in every little detail as she tries to figure out why we're here. My stomach's churning in anticipation. This is going to be so fucking great … I hope.

I introduce Felix to Bella, purposely not giving away anything about who he is or what he does. "Everything's ready for you so I'll leave you and your pretty girl. I'll be back at eleven."

And with that, he disappears down the hallway, the squeak, squeak of the rubber soles of his shoes fading with each step. Each one makes my stomach jump like it's full of Pop Rocks.

I take a steadying breath, straighten my shoulders, and shut out everything but Bella. This is for her, for us, and it's going to fucking rock.

"Edward," she says quietly, pulling me to a stop just in front of the door I'm heading toward. "This whole day …" She pauses to take a breath and lets her eyes skip over my shoulder before they settle on me again. "From the second I woke up this morning, has been like a dream come true and it's all been because of you. I don't know why we're here or what we're going to do, but whatever it is, thank you. No one has ever, ever put as much thought into doing such wonderful things for me."

In that moment, nothing on Earth can compare to her. I want to give her this, this part of both of us that will only bring us closer together.

"I want to make you happy."

It's such a simple thing to say, but it's nothing but the absolute truth.

"Okay, close your eyes," I tell her, unable to wait another second.

She does and she squeezes the feeling out of my hand when I help her walk the few steps inside. My eyes make a quick sweep around the room to make sure everything is the way I want. I knew it would be, Rose promised. She knows how important it is to give this to Bella.

I move her so that she's facing the instruments, her back to my front, and whisper in her ear, "Now, open."

She opens them slowly and then an adorable high pitched squeal fills the room when she spies a drum set beside a grand piano.

"Really? We're going to play together? I get to watch you play?" Her head whips back and forth like she's afraid all of a sudden everything will disappear. "I can't … this is so awesome. So, so awesome. I've wanted this so much. I've dreamed about playing with you so many times." The words get strangled in her throat, and her voice shakes. When her shining eyes lock on mine, it almost brings me to my knees. "You couldn't have given me anything better."

I want to kiss her. I need to kiss her, but I know if I do, I'll never stop and I've been planning this, waiting for this … dreaming about this for too long to miss even a moment. Even for something as great as kissing Bella.

I do squeeze her hands and tug her forward. Her eyes bounce around the room. They widen when she sees her drumsticks on the stool and then the iPod in the docking station on top of the piano. The music room is set up so that there are a few plush chairs lining the wall, two tables with lamps on them are on either side of the chairs and the golden glow makes the room warm … intimate. It's everything I envisioned. I see my guitar case where Rose left it leaning against the side of a chair and instantly my palms begin to sweat when I think about the song I want to play for her before the night's through. My heart is hammering in my chest and my stomach is turning itself inside out, so I take a deep breath, then another to try to calm down.

"So this is okay?" I ask, needing one last affirmation before we get down to business.

She rolls her eyes and then yanks me hard enough so that I half fall, half stumble into her. Luckily she stops me from landing on my ass by wrapping her arms around my neck and hanging on for all she's worth.

"It's more than okay, it's perfect. Just like you." Her breath is warm against my neck and she feels so good pressed so tightly against me.

For just a moment I let my hands cup her ass and hold her close. "Okay, come on. We don't have long and I want to impress you with my mad skills," I tell her, albeit a bit reluctantly, because … _hello? _ My hands were just on her ass and her nipples were rubbing across my chest.

I can tell she's still a little overwhelmed but I hope once she sits down, feels the sticks in her hands, and begins to play she'll let go and enjoy this as much as I want her to. I want her to lose herself. I want to lose myself in her … until there's nothing left but us and our music.

"You ready to do this?" I ask once I get situated on the piano bench.

"So ready you have no idea." Her smile is as big as I've ever seen and happiness is just oozing from every pore of her body.

She's never, ever looked hotter.

Hair up in a high ponytail, her t-shirt fits like a dream and her skirt's hiked up high on her thighs showing me miles of skin that I plan to touch and kiss later. She twirls her sticks in her hands and I get so hard I groan and have to adjust my cock so it doesn't push its way right out of my jeans.

Shoving my shirt up to my elbows, I flex my fingers a few times to get them loose and then lay them on the keys. They're cool against my fingertips and the feeling is as familiar as kicking a soccer ball. I look at her over the piano and waggle my eyebrows.

"Show me what ya got, Drummer Girl. Talk to me."

I reach up and turn on the iPod, knowing that as soon as she hears the first song on the playlist start to play, our relationship is going to go to a whole new level.

I'm not wrong.

As my fingers fly over the keys and Bella's quick hands move from snare to cymbal and back again, working in perfect conjunction with her gorgeous legs, I feel it.

One song moves to the next and I'm completely mesmerized by her. The way she sways back and forth, the way the muscles in her arms flex as she moves them up and down, the way her hair swishes around her face and little fly away strands stick to her cheeks and her forehead, the soft murmur as she hums along with the songs she knows by heart. I smile when a few choruses sneak out now and then, so softly and without thought that I'm sure she doesn't even realize she's singing out loud.

With each chord on my piano that mixes with each beat of her drums, it's as if we're writing new chapters of our story. The way she plays moves me in a way nothing else ever has. Not even when I sit down to play do I feel the way I do when I watch her. And now this, to actually play with her, to watch and hear as the notes I play mesh with the beats of her drums … I've never felt anything like it. My body's vibrating as the music we're making together flows through me. She can feel it, too. I can tell. Like me, when she plays she usually closes her eyes, but neither of us can take our eyes off the other.

It's magnetic and I don't ever want it end.

One more song, then I reach up and turn off the music. We stare at each other for a few silent moments, because really, no words are necessary. The music has already said it all.

"Wow," she whispers breathing deeply.

In the golden glow of the soft lamplight, I can see her skin glisten. It makes me want her in ways that frankly drive me fucking crazy.

"I want to lick every inch of your body," I rasp in a voice gritty and raw with need.

And God help me, I really fucking want to do it. Strip her clothes off, lay her down on top of my piano, and feast on her skin.

"Edward." She does this little half whimper, half groan thing that shoots straight to my rock hard dick.

Her chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath. It might be the drum playing that's caused the shortness of breath … but I hope it's because of my words. Even more than that, I hope she's feeling exactly like I am. Turned on beyond belief, desperate to feel our bodies pressed against the other, aching to kiss and touch and claim. When her eyes find mine, they're hooded, dark, almost black, and my stomach is going balls out, like Jeff Gordon on crack doing donuts in the middle of Daytona Speedway.

"Thirsty?" I ask, swallowing a few times.

The air is heavy, charged, and from the way she keeps blinking, I know Bella feels it, too.

She nods and I toss her a bottle of water from the small cooler I had Rose leave earlier. We spend a few quiet moments doing that sort of awkward peek out of the corner of your eyes thing before she clears her throat.

"How much time do we have left?" she asks and I can't help but be a little pleased and a lot excited when her voice sounds as rough as mine.

A drop of water clings to the corner of her mouth. She licks her lips.

I _really_ want to lick her.

I shift on the piano bench and grimace just a little and let out a slow groan when the zipper of my jeans digs into my straining cock.

Bella squeaks and her eyes get big when she realizes what's going on and then she blushes, which pretty much kills me on the spot. That sound, that look, it's always enough to drive me insane. Every. Single. Time. The girl still has no idea what she does to me, even when she does the simplest things. A glance, a squeak or a whimper, sometimes it's just the way she pushes her hair behind her ear while she's reading or when she pulls the corner of her mouth between her teeth when she's doing homework that sets me off. Basically all she has to do is breathe in my direction and I'm a goner.

We both take a deep breath at the same time and she giggles, which immediately lessens the tension in the air. Thank God. If I got any harder, I'd be in serious trouble.

"What do you want to play next?" I ask as my fingers trip over a few keys.

So far we've stuck to pretty standard stuff. The playlist I made had our favorite songs on it, plus some that I wanted to share with her. We've talked about music so much that I know what she plays when she misses her dad, or when thoughts of her mom make her sad and lonely. I even know the ones she plays that make her think of me, of us. I made sure to include those. How could I not?

Without answering me, she picks up her sticks and begins to play. At first I'm not sure what it is. The cymbals vibrate, jangling. Then the sticks tap on the snare. The beats are soft and mellow, but when the tone changes and they get heavier, the rhythm sharper and more intense, goosebumps break out all over my skin.

Holy hell.

"Play with me, Edward. You wrote it after all. I want to watch you, listen to you … to us. Help me make it ours."

And oh Christ, how her words fill me up and possess every part of me.

My fingers fly over the smooth keys. My notes mesh with the beat of her drums. The timbre of her bass and my chords sound like us … set to music. Passionate yet playful, light but with hints of darkness, a little heavy in parts but there's so much hope and joy and love it makes me feel like I can climb mountains and jump tall buildings in a single bound.

Her eyes meet mine and they sear my heart, my soul. I try to concentrate on the music filling the air, but it's so hard when all I want to do is crawl inside of Bella and never come out. Hearing my composition, which wasn't half bad to start with if I do say so myself, come to life and become something totally unexpected makes me fall in love with her about a hundred times a minute and each time it's more than the last.

When we reach the end, as the bass reverberates and the keys beneath my fingers tremble, I stop breathing for a second. The air in the room stills, the sounds fade and so much emotion is pumping inside of me I swear I might explode.

Finally, I take a deep breath and stare at her, speaking softly. "When we first started talking, or well writing I guess, before I even told you I knew your name, I had a dream about you, about us, doing this, playing together. It was so vivid, I remember waking up and being so pissed because in the dream I was so fucking happy because we were together. It scared the shit out of me because I'd never felt anything like it, but I knew even then that I wanted you."

She gasps, the intake of breath sharp and quick.

"Oh, Edward." She sighs and sniffs.

"Come here and kiss me," I whisper gruffly as way too many thoughts and feelings race through my mind and my heart. "I need you beside me so I can touch you." And I do need it, need her more than I need to breathe.

She stands, setting her drumsticks on her stool, and begins to walk. My eyes devour her, my body hungry to feel hers. I reach for her hands as soon as she's close enough, unable to wait for her to take the final few steps. I pull her down beside me on the bench, our bodies facing opposite directions, but still facing each other, which makes kissing her ever so much easier.

I don't waste a second. My mouth covers hers, my tongue sweeps her bottom lip from left to right, then licks along the seam of her mouth. She opens and invites my tongue inside; I go willingly and with a groan and a deep rumble in my chest. One hand on her hip, my thumb slides beneath the waistband of her skirt, the tips of my fingers slip under her shirt. Warm, smooth skin meets mine and it's not anywhere near enough. I want more. My other hand presses on her back. I need her closer.

"I love you, fuck do I love you," I whisper as my lips trail from her mouth to her neck. "I want to make love to you. I want to feel you all around me, your pussy hot and wet around my cock. I'd stay inside of you for hours."

"Oh God, Edward." She moans.

Her fingers are buried in my hair and she twists and pulls. It feels fucking incredible. She squirms and my hand moves from her hip to her thigh. So much skin. So many places to touch. My fingers squeeze and knead, then massage and skim. Up and down then around, lower, and I can feel how hot she is between her legs. With the very tip of my finger, I stretch and ghost over her, growling when she whimpers.

Fuck it's such a turn-on to know she wants me as much as I want her.

"You want me to touch you, don't you?" I ask, but I don't need her to answer. The way she spreads her legs tells me all I need to know.

She tugs on my hair, hard, and my mouth crashes against hers. This time it's her tongue that forces its way into my mouth. She kisses me deeply, her tongue strokes mine. Her nipples are so hard and every time she moves, they rub across my chest.

"Baby, I'm about thirty seconds from throwing you down on the floor and ripping your clothes off," I tell her none too sweetly when we have to pull apart to do that silly little thing called breathing.

"And that would be a bad thing?" she asks with a quirk of her eyebrow and a grin that is nothing but sin.

I take another much needed breath and will my cock to calm down. I reach for her hands, lift one and kiss the back, then do the same to the other before I look at her. In a deadly serious voice I tell her, "Bella, the first time we make love it's definitely not going to be on a hard as fuck floor and it's definitely not going to be rushed. I told you, hours, baby, and I'm not even kidding. The first time I'll be happy to last ten minutes because I have no doubt being inside you will feel so fucking amazing I won't be able to help it, but after that, I promise to worship your gorgeous body the way it deserves to be."

She giggles again and I can tell my words have affected her because she's doing that cute thing she does when she wrinkles her nose and chews on her bottom lip.

"You're it for me, Bella, and I want our first time to be perfect. I want you, but I can wait until the time is right, though to be really honest here, I hope it's fucking soon. There's only so much I can take."

"Oh, you poor baby," she teases, but the gleam in her eye is nothing short of fifty kinds of sexy and hot. "You're it for me, too, you know? There will never be anyone for me but you. And since you're going to be the only first one, I suppose a bed would be nice." She leans forward and kisses me, no tongue though, damn it. "Oh and the hours, I'm totally for that, too."

I smile. I'm sure I look like a lovesick fool, which is pretty much what I am, and gently cup her cheek with my hand. She turns and tenderly kisses my wrist, melting me on the spot. I do happen to glance at my watch and notice what time it is.

Nerves suddenly bloom and again I take a deep breath. I have one more thing for her before we go.

I lick my dry lips and say, "We don't have much longer, but there's something I want to play for you." I stand and pull her up from the piano bench and lead her toward one of the chairs. I lower her into the chair and then pick up my guitar case.

I sit back down, straddling the bench, and face her. Once I take the guitar out of the case, I scoot it out of the way and I lay the guitar across my lap. I'm so nervous about this, my stomach is tied so tight I'm not sure I can even play, let alone sing, but I've put too much thought into doing this for her to punk out now. I look at her, and she's watching me. I have no idea what she's thinking about; I'm too much of a chicken-shit to ask right this second. She squirms a bit, tugs on the bottom of her skirt then her shirt … she twirls a strand of hair around her finger, never once taking her eyes off of me. From the way she keeps glancing at the guitar, I can tell she's going out of her mind wondering what I'm going to do. I pluck the strings because I'm an idiot and always over-think things as I mentally tell myself to get on with it.

"Okay, I heard this song on the radio a few weeks ago and it made me think of you. I've been practicing so I hope it doesn't suck, and I'm probably the world's worst singer, but you need to hear the words." I take a deep breath and let it out, saying a silent prayer that I don't fuck this all up.

I pull at the strings, adjust a few pegs, and take a deep breath to settle my nerves. With one final inhale and exhale, I start to strum. I lock my eyes on hers and begin to sing.

_Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmm ..._

_When I look into your eyes_

_It's like watching the night sky_

_Or a beautiful sunrise_

_Well, there's so much they hold_

_And just like them old stars_

_I see that you've come so far_

_To be right where you are_

_How old is your soul?_

_Well, I won't give up on us_

_Even if the skies get rough_

_I'm giving you all my love_

_I'm still looking up_

And as I sing I remember what I felt the first time I saw her, how she completely captivated me. How I couldn't stop thinking about her. How sad she was, how she was running, trying to find peace and space and needed just a few hours of freedom.

_And when you're needing your space_

_To do some navigating_

_I'll be here patiently waiting_

_To see what you find_

_'Cause even the stars they burn_

_Some even fall to the earth_

_We've got a lot to learn_

_God knows we're worth it_

_No, I won't give up_

Tears fall down her gorgeous face, making her more beautiful than I've ever seen her. I'm going to spend the rest of my life making sure she never feels alone again.

_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily_

_I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make_

_Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use_

_The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake_

_And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend_

_For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn_

_We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in_

_I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not_

_And who I am_

_I won't give up on us_

_Even if the skies get rough_

_I'm giving you all my love_

_I'm still looking up_

_Still looking up._

By the time I finish the last note, she's sobbing, but I know they're happy tears. Still, my girl should never cry. Setting the guitar back in its case, I kneel in front of her and pull her into my arms.

"Happy birthday, baby," I whisper. "I hope all your dreams come true."

She pulls back and smiles brilliantly. "They already have."

**~~~~OOO~~~~~OOO~~~~~**

Fifteen minutes later and the car is loaded and Bella is buckled in the front seat. Before I close the door I lean down and whisper in her ear, "By the way, all this and I still didn't get to see your panties. But, I did way better than Jake Ryan did for Samantha, don't you think? Pffft, sitting on top of a table with a birthday cake. Dude needs some new moves for sure."

We stare at each other, silent as if in a standoff. Her eyes sparkle and then slowly, so fucking slowly, she spreads her legs apart. I watch as she opens them wider, wider, her skirt moves higher and higher until I catch the tiniest flash of pink bubblegum-colored panties before she crosses her legs, and looks up at me with a perfectly arched eyebrow and a smirk that rivals the Cheshire cat's.

My jaw hits the ground, taking my tongue along for the ride. My eyes, well, I'm surprised they're still in my head, and my dick, _Jesus_, it goes from zero to sixty in the blink of an eye.

Holy hell, she's going to drive me right out of my everloving mind one of these days.

She grabs my shirt and yanks me down to her, kissing me so fast I don't even have time to kiss her back. "Rose was definitely right, Edward. Your swoonage points are off the charts."

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**So they finally play together … and he gave her a t-shirt! Major swoonage points for our boy, yes? I hope this was worth the wait! **

**The song Edward plays for Bella is Jason Mraz's **_**I Won't Give Up**_** … check it out here -**

**youtube watch ? v =TdN5GyTl8K0**

**Don't forget to sign up on the blog or join the FB group. I posted some teasers there this week since I was so fail at updating! **

**You can also find me on Twitter: les_sh_16**

**Next up some time with Daddy C and Edward. They have some important things to talk about! **

**See you next week (fingers crossed!) **

**This chapter took a whole lot out of me, let me know what you thought about it, please? I'd love to hear from you!**


	18. Caution

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own the plot. **

**So here we are, on time, and with an extra long update for you. Thanks, one and all, for all the support and patience. Your love of these characters, and indirectly, me, is humbling and makes my heart so full. Truly, thank you from the bottom of my heart. **

**This one's all about Edward, so let's see what our boy is up to, shall we? **

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**Chapter 16 - Caution**

**EPOV**

"Edward, son, wake up. We're in Seattle," Dad says as he shakes my arm.

Groaning and still bleary-eyed, I stretch my legs and back.

"I'm too tall to sleep in the car," I grouch and scowl when I bump my elbow sitting up.

He chuckles and hands me a bottle of water.

"In about twenty minutes you're going to wish you were back in the car." He nods toward the window.

"Just great," I mutter, already hating the thought of playing in this weather.

It's not storming, but it is raining - that soaking, slow but steady kind that's just light enough to keep the games from being called. Not that I want to miss out on playing, but shit, I'm just not in the mood to slip and slide in the mud all day.

"Good thing your mother reminded you to pack extra cleats, huh?" he chides as he flicks the blinker and we turn toward the fields.

"Dad, I've been packing my own gear for years now. I already had them in my bag, shin guards and socks, too, thank you very much," I say with a roll of my eyes.

I drink the rest of the water. Dad gets in the last word, "You know she worries; it's her right as a mother. And next year you'll be off on your own and she won't be able to fuss over you, so let her enjoy it now."

I sigh.

"Dad," I whine. "Come on. I have two games today, a team meeting tonight, and another game tomorrow. I don't need a guilt trip on top of everything else I have to worry about this weekend. You know ODP showcase games are always intense."

He turns down the road where our first game is. I stare out the window, really wishing I could find one of Doc Brown's DeLoreans he used with Marty and go back to this time, two weeks ago. The sun was shining instead of it being dreary and drizzly and best of all, Bella would be here. As we splash through a puddle, I grimace. Definitely much better than this.

Having Bella in Seattle the last time I was here, watching me play and then getting to hang out with our friends, was fucking awesome. I had two really good games. We played the the number two and three teams in our club division so I knew beforehand they'd be tough games. I scored in both of them, which is always a plus, and on top of that, we won, which was just the cherry on top. It was a fantastic weekend. We went to dinner, hung out in the hotel with some of my teammates, and we even managed to spend some time alone while we took a walk around the block.

Bella had a lot of fun with Rose and Alice, too. They did whatever girly things girls do Saturday night in their hotel room and then they went shopping and had dinner on Sunday after our game before heading back to Forks. I have to admit, it was pretty great to have her in the stands watching and cheering. Jasper said it was the best game I'd had in a really long time, a sentiment echoed by the coach and the rest of my teammates. Of course, once the idiots got one look at Bella in her tight as hell jeans and even tighter t-shirt, I was ready to kick some ass. It didn't help any that her ass looked spectacular as always and she'd worn her hair up, which she knows drives me fucking crazy. It only makes it easier to see how gorgeous she is. After hearing too many junior high comments said with the sole purpose of egging me on, I flipped them all off then proceeded to kiss the shit out of my girl in front of any- and everyone.

It was hot.

Really fucking hot.

And it shut them all up in a hurry, just like I'd intended. A little assholish on my part, I suppose, but honestly, I can't keep my hands off her these days. Ever since her birthday, it's like I can't get enough of her. I mean, of course before I was always touching her or rubbing against her like a damned kitten begging to be petted, but now, holy shit, there's this constant stream of all-out fire and want that races through me whenever she's around. Kissing and making out, even if we've progressed to underneath all of the clothes for both of us, is hot and all, but I'm going out of my mind with how much I want to make love to her.

It's pretty much all I think about lately, but now, very little can push its way through the constant haze of wanting to have sex with her. And now we have a problem, because I have a hard-on and I'm about to have to get out of the car. The day's off to a spectacular start.

As I wiggle in my seat and put on my rain gear, I can only hope it's not an omen of things to come.

By the time Sunday rolls around and I'm changing into yet another dry pair of socks for the ride home, I'm grouchy as hell. I feel like I played like shit every single minute I was in, which was all but a handful, and all I want to do is crawl into my bed and sleep the rest of the day away.

It's obviously just not my weekend when Coach says, "Edward, I need to talk to you for a minute."

My stomach jumps to the middle of my throat and I try to prepare myself to get reamed out, and probably benched for the next game. Twenty long, heart-stopping and really unexpected minutes later, and we're in the car and headed for Forks.

I haven't said a word since we hit the highway, too lost in my own head to even attempt conversation. I tap my phone against my mouth and sigh … for about the twenty-third time since we left Seattle not even an hour ago. I'm so tired and really fucking sore and normally I'd be asleep before we pass the first town outside of Seattle, but right now my brain's going a hundred miles a minute and I feel like I've just had about six Red Bulls. Jesus.

Another glance at my phone. No message … damn it. I sent Bella a text as soon as I got done talking to Coach, just because I needed to, I don't know, feel close to her I guess. Not that I don't always, but there are times, just hearing her voice is all I want. A text isn't the same as her calling, but it's a decent enough substitute until I get home and can actually talk to her.

Closing my eyes, I clench my jaw, fighting back the urge to throw a temper tantrum like a little kid in the store whose mommy tells him he can't have the shiny toy hanging there in the checkout aisle, the one that's put there only to drive mothers crazy. I know I shouldn't be pissed that she hasn't called back, or even sent a text, but fuck, I need her. I kind of hate that it makes me feel a bit like a pussy to need her so much, but damn it, I do. She's my person, my one. The one who's just mine and mine alone. My go-to, my sounding board, my best friend.

I glance at my phone one last time then dump the stupid thing into the cup holder beside me when the screen's still black.

"You wanna tell me what Coach told you that's got you acting like you have ants in your pants … and they're making a meal out of your butt?"

I snort and choke on the "what the fuck?" that's on the tip of my tongue. Dad grins and I can't help but chuckle at him. The man's got a way of defusing any situation, that's for sure.

"Come on," he urges, his voice now in full on Dad-mode, all concerned and soothing, inviting me to spill my guts. "We have a few hours until we'll be home. Talk to your old man; what's going on?"

I turn my head and stare out the window for a few moments. I know Dad will let me have the time without pushing, it's what he does, so I let my mind go where it wants. It's only mid-afternoon but it feels much later, probably due to the fact it's still overcast. The rain's stopped for the time being, but the air is still heavy, thick. The bark of the trees as we drive past them almost black, the school bus yellow of the lane stripes even more stark against dark charcoal of the asphalt, the green of the leaves and grass deeper, richer due to the heavy rain from last night.

Everything's always so wet, and though it's all I've known, and it's home, I want to know what it's like to wear shorts and flip-flops in December, and not worry about freezing my balls off. I want to eat ice cream for dinner and pizza for breakfast. I want to see new things and meet new people. I want to go someplace new, even if the thought makes me want to hurl.

"Enough stewing, spill it," Dad says, interrupting my reverie.

"Ah, hell, Dad," I chuckle, then blurt, "there was a scout from the Seattle Sounders at the games this weekend. Coach told me he didn't want me to freak out so he didn't tell me beforehand."

"I know."

_Ummm … excuse me? _

"What?" I splutter. "What do you mean you know? Why didn't you say anything? Damn, Dad. If I would have known … shit." I groan, replaying every shot, every pass in fast forward. _Fantastic_. "You know I missed that open goal in the morning game yesterday. In the afternoon game I played like shit; my passes were off, I couldn't ever get open, and then today I had that horrible free kick in the second half. I didn't even get the ball on frame. What scout wants to see that? God, I sucked." I slouch down in my seat, sick at the thought of fucking everything up so horribly.

I huff and sigh for about three minutes before Dad's had enough. "Okay, stop. And you wonder why no one told you? Edward, so you made a few mistakes, it's not the end of the world. If I recall correctly, in that game yesterday morning, you followed up the miss with a beautiful shot from about twenty yards away on the very next possession and that so-called horrible free kick wound up off the head of your teammate and in the back of the net. So what exactly do you have to be so upset about?"

Instead of answering, I turn my head, pouting, and watch the scenery go by in a blur, which does nothing but prove his point. Fuck.

Totally wallowing, I mumble, "Maybe I'm not ready for all this."

My stomach twists at the thought, even the slightest chance that I'm right makes me cold all over.

"You are." His words are instant and full of pride and love and they make me sit up taller, straighter. He glances at me for only a second or two, but it's all I need to see how much he believes in me. "Edward, you're only eighteen; you're not expected to have all the answers yet. And contrary to what you believe, you're allowed to make mistakes, too. We all make them, even me." He shoots me the smirk that I know I've inherited from him, the one that's gotten me out of more trouble than I deserve. "You can't honestly be that surprised that there are scouts following you, can you? You're my son, so I'm allowed to be biased, but all that aside, even I know you're the best player your age in the region. Hell, you're in the top five in the country. I follow the rankings just like you do, so come on, you had to know this was going to happen sooner or later."

He waits for me to answer. "Yeah, I did. It's just I try not to think about it."

"Which is why Coach and I didn't tell you about this weekend. You know I love to watch you play, but seriously, spending the weekend in the rain is not my idea of fun. However, there was no chance in hell of me not being here for you, even if you didn't know why." There's a few minutes when the only sound is the slapping of the tires against the road. It's not uncomfortable, though honestly, prolonged silence never is with my dad. "Your mom and I are so proud of you, Edward. I don't think we tell you that often enough."

I swallow past the surge of emotion and rasp a rough, "You do."

"Yeah?" he questions, smiling wider when I nod. "I'm glad to hear it. It's not just because of the soccer either, especially since we both know your skill has to be from some mutated gene or something because God knows you didn't get your athletic ability from anyone on either side of the family. The Cullens and the Platts have to be the most uncoordinated lot in history." The mood is lightened when we both laugh at his very true statement. Dad may be able to wield a scalpel with perfect precision but he's a lost cause when it comes to anything with a ball and a hand or a foot. Mom's no better. She might out-cook Paula Deen in the kitchen and her organizing skills are well-known, but there is definitely a reason why she's always the last one picked when the whole family gets together for the bi-annual Cullen reunion. The time she nearly took off Grandpa Cullen's head with a wiffle bat is legendary.

"I know I've said this before, but it bears repeating. You are a tremendous athlete, but beyond that, you're a genuinely remarkable person. I know sometimes it must feel overwhelming to have such huge decisions looming over your head, but you've handled the pressure better than most would be able to if they were in your shoes. I know it's not always easy to know the right path, but I have all the faith in the world you'll choose the right one for you."

"It's just hard sometimes, you know? I've wanted to play soccer for as long as I can remember, and I know it's what I'm meant to do, but there are other things I want, too."

"Like what?"

With no hesitation, I answer, "I want to be with Bella. I know you and Mom probably think I'm too young or whatever, but I know she's the only person I'll ever want to be with. I want to still be able to play music. It's important to me, and it's just as big a part of me as soccer. I want to travel and see and do things, even if it means leaving you and Mom and my friends and Forks. I don't know, Dad, I just want a lot I guess."

He's silent again but his posture's relaxed with his hand draped over the steering wheel and his other elbow on the console between us. "It's not a lot, son, not at all. And to set the record straight," he says and then clears his throat. Now he looks a little more tense, like what he's about to say might not go over so well. "Your mother and I don't think you're too young to know that Bella is the one for you. Love is love. It doesn't matter how old you are."

I take a deep breath at that. "But," he begins and instantly I'm wary again, "that doesn't mean we don't worry." He holds his hand up when I open my mouth to argue with him, and gives me the dad look that makes me snap it closed. I cross my arms and clench my jaw, and he chuckles. "Good Lord, you're so much like me sometimes it's uncanny. I reacted the same way when my parents said those exact words to me. Ah hell," he groans, "I can't believe I sound just like my dad. I always swore I'd never do that." He waves away the slight move off topic before he glances at me again. "Anyway, as I was saying, we do worry, but it's only because we want what's best for both of you."

"She's what's best for me," I answer stubbornly.

"Yeah, she is," he agrees. "She's a very special girl, Edward, and your mom and I are so happy you've found each other. I'm not surprised to hear you say you want to be with her, I didn't expect anything less, but I just want you to realize that wherever you go, if she follows you like it seems you both want," he pauses and waits for me to nod yes, "that you know she needs her own space and time to find her way as well."

His words strike me in an instant, slamming right into my heart.

"I'm such a selfish asshole." I groan, hating myself just a little bit for assuming that Bella will go wherever I go just because I want her to.

"You're not selfish; you're a guy madly in love with a beautiful girl that you want to be with all the time. It's exciting to think about, isn't it, going off together, finding your way as a couple, learning how to live together? I get it, Edward, believe me I do. When your mom and I first started dating, well … I'm sure you get the picture." He coughs a little uncomfortably and the tips of his ears turn red.

"What I'm trying to say is, talk to Bella. Find out what she wants to do with her life. She's just now starting to think about a future outside of the whole situation with her mom, so she's got options she never took the time to believe she had. I have no doubt that's mostly due to you. You've given her an extraordinary gift, son, by pushing her to see past the here and now and think about herself. I just want you," he emphasizes, "to understand that it's important for both of you to allow her to spread her wings and find her own way apart from just being your girlfriend."

He's right. He's so, so right. But still … "You don't think it's wrong of me to want her to come with me, wherever I go, do you? I don't want to be without her."

"No, it's not wrong and it's not selfish to want to be together, as long as you remember that if she decides to follow you, that she's putting a tremendous amount of faith in you. Always be worthy of it, Edward, because if you lose trust in each other, no amount of love can overcome that."

I swallow thickly, and my stomach falls. "Jesus Christ, Dad, I'd never cheat on Bella!" I'm pissed as hell he'd even think such a thing.

He cringes and looks at me apologetically. "I know and that's not what I mean at all. I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. What I mean is, no matter where you decide to go, you'll be on your own in someplace new. You'll have to travel for soccer and she won't always be able to go with you. Just …" he blows out a breath, "always remember that you love and respect each other. You're both going to meet new people, make new friends, and you might not always get along with them. It's only natural to be a bit … territorial." He smirks. "You're a Cullen; it's inevitable that the green-eyed monster will raise its head more than a few times. Believe me, I know, but try to remember to think before you act, trust me, it'll save your ass from sleeping on the couch."

I groan and bang my head against the seat, already worked up and ready to take some fucker out for something that hasn't even happened yet. "That's just great. Thanks a lot, Dad."

This time his laugh is gleeful. "Edward, son, I know you're not stupid and I do have eyes. Bella is beautiful; you're not the only one that will think so. And I have known you for all your life. You're going to be on the couch more than a few times, I guarantee it."

"Yeah, yeah." I grin at him, because hell yes I will, but as long as it's the couch in our house, I can live with that. "Thanks, Dad," I tell him after a few minutes. "I needed to hear all that. It helped."

"Good, guess I have my uses every now and then."

The rest of the ride home speeds by. I nap a little, stare out the window … listening to Dad gossip about the goings-on at the hospital like he's one of the nurses. I swear sometimes he makes Forks General sound like it's one step away from being home of the next _Grey's Anatomy_, after all Forks is pretty close to Seattle. I just want to be home.

I want to be close to Bella.

Mom hugs and kisses me like she hasn't seen me in months instead of just yesterday morning when we walk in and my mouth waters when I smell dinner. Roast chicken if I'm not mistaken, hopefully with mashed potatoes and green beans, too. Comfort food. I hug Mom back, holding onto her longer than she's used to.

"What's that all about?" she asks as she steps back, eyes narrowed.

"Nothing." I shrug and hitch my bag on my shoulder, a little embarrassed.

She's Mom, so of course it's okay to hug her, but after the talk with Dad and missing Bella, I feel a little out of sorts, and hugs from my mom always make me feel better. I don't tell her that often enough, and now, it feels like time is running out. She'll always be Mom so it's not like once I graduate, she'll never hug me again, but it won't be the same.

Nothing will.

And cue the knots in my stomach and the sour taste in my mouth.

"I'm going to go shower and change. I'll be down for dinner."

Mom gives me the look, the one that says we'll talk soon and Dad slaps me on the back as we go our separate ways. I toss my bag on the floor when I walk in my room, kick off my shoes, then flop on my bed. Staring at the ceiling, I try to push all thoughts about the future to the back of my mind. I'm tired of thinking about it all. I lie there for I don't even know how long, just letting my mind wander, so of course Bella's front and center. I don't think anything specific, just flashes of things. Her laughing, then us together, walking and holding hands. I'm not sure where we are, maybe a college campus someplace. There are lots of people around us, mostly our age, and everyone's in shorts and t-shirts. A flash of a classroom, then a soccer stadium. A house. I know it's ours because I see a piano and a drum set, my soccer cleats, her cookie cutters drying in a rack beside the kitchen sink … an unmade king-sized bed in the center of a bedroom with pictures of the Phoenix desert hanging alongside pictures of our families and friends.

Our clothes are strewn on the floor. They look like they were taken off in a hurry, my shoe's still tangled in the bottom of the leg of my jeans, her panties still inside hers, something that looks tantalizingly skimpy and silky, and the thought makes my cock twitch.

My body stirs, my heart races, and my soul calms.

I might not know what the future holds for me or what the right path is going to wind up being, but seeing our future laid out so vividly fills me with a sense of peace I haven't felt in a really long time. Knowing that no matter what happens after graduation, a year from now, or five years from now, Bella is with me makes the unknown not so fucking terrifying.

I roll over and crawl on top of the bed. Nearly busting my ass, I stretch and grab my backpack off the floor, pulling out her notebook and a pen. Once I get situated, I write her a quick letter. It's time to trade again and though I could send a text or an email, I write the words instead.

_Hey baby,_

_Just got home a few minutes ago and now I'm getting ready to take a shower and eat dinner. I just wanted to tell you … I love you. There are so many things I'm not sure of these days, but the one thing I know with all my fucking heart is well … you are my heart._

_We're always going to be together, Bella, and we're going to be insanely happy._

_Just thought you should know that … gotta go, Mom made biscuits from scratch and I gotta get down there before Dad eats them all._

_Talk to you later,_

_Edward_

_BTW … our house is gonna rock and your underwear looks sexy as fuck laying on the ground right next to my boxers. Just saying_

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

The first few days of the week fly by. I have a huge project due in World History, we're reading _A Tale of Two Cities_ in English - I hate Charles Dickens - and in Pre-Calc we just started learning about limits which are pretty much kicking my ass. School is sucking big donkey balls right now and I'm ready for the weekend and it's only Thursday morning. Fuck. I grab my backpack and scan the parking lot for Bella's car like I do every morning we don't ride together, frowning when I don't see it. A glance at my watch and it's no wonder. It's only 7:45. There's no way Bella is going to be here this early, not even for me. With a shake of my head, because, damn, I really want to see her before school starts, I make my way to the office to meet with Mr. Banner. The student council is going to be heading up a food drive for Thanksgiving and I need to go over some details before the kick-off next week.

Wow.

I'm stunned for a moment when I realize that the holidays are right around the corner. Time is just flying by. I ignore the sudden twist in my stomach and walk into the office.

"All right then, Mr. Cullen. Starting Monday, you and your fellow officers can add the information about the food drive to the morning announcements. Just coordinate with Mrs. Turner who is going to be responsible for which day, and then get on to class. Can't have you being late, can we?"

I chuckle, thinking I wouldn't mind missing some of Mr. Knight's lecture on supply and demand. Having Econ first period is like the worst thing ever, the most ridiculously boring subject taught by the most mind-numbingly dull teacher. Mr. Knight makes that dude in _Ferris Bueller_, the one that says his name over and over in that monotone voice, seem like Will Ferrell.

As we walk out of his office, Mr. Banner pats me on the shoulder. "Soccer going okay for you? Mrs. Harris tells me there have been quite a number of requests for your transcripts from colleges all over the country. I don't know that Forks High has ever had an athlete so heavily recruited before. We're all really proud of you, Edward."

His words stop me in my tracks. My skin prickles and instantly my shirt sticks to my back. It takes all I have to resist lifting my arm to make sure I don't have pit stains I'm sweating so badly. Just fucking great. It seems like I can't go more than a few minutes before something reminds me of everything I want to just forget about. The praise is great and if I didn't have so much on my mind these days it'd make me feel great, too. I know it would. I love playing for Forks High and deep down I'm really proud of what I've been able to do here, for me as well as for the school. It's humbling to be recognized for it though and the recognition makes me a little uncomfortable.

I give him a half-hearted smile and stammer out a mumbled, "Thanks," before hurrying toward Econ.

Emmett lifts his chin as I slip into my seat right as the bell rings. He watches me all through class, which of course isn't helping my mood at all. I don't even know what's bothering me so much. It's not like I haven't always known that I have to decide where to go to college, but I didn't think it would be this hard. So many choices, so many different paths, and I don't have any idea which way to go. The talk with Coach over the weekend has really just put a big huge spotlight on the issue and it's all I've been able to think about since then.

"You okay, man?" Emmett asks once class is over.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair, anxious to find Bella. I nod at him though as we follow the flow and spill out into the hallway. "I'm fine, just a lot on my mind is all. No big deal."

The hall's crowded as we walk toward our next class. All the jostling and bumping, coupled with the steady hum of the chatter around me just seems to amplify the sense of things spinning out of control, causing it to grow and grow and grow, until I feel like my head's about to explode. I need some space. I need some time to think. I need Bella.

"Watch it," I snarl when someone's elbow lands in the center of my back. Emmett places his massive bulk between me and the little shit, chuckling as the kid scampers off like a frightened rabbit.

"Dude." He grins when he turns to look at me. "That poor kid about crapped his pants. What in the hell is going on with you?" he asks, turning serious in an instant. "You look like you're about to lose it. What gives? It's not like you to be so uptight."

As much as I'm dying to see Bella, I can't blow off Emmett, nor do I particularly want to. We've been friends way too long for me to do that to him. "It's a bunch of things, Em. Coach Bradley talked to me on Sunday after the game and told me that the team's going to be travelling over the Christmas holidays, so I'm going to be gone over New Years which really sucks because it's the first one I'd get to spend with Bella, you know? He also said he's gotten some phone calls asking for film of me from a lot of colleges and a scout was there this weekend from the Sounders, which is just weird as hell. I mean it's cool and it's what I've always wanted, but then Mr. Banner mentioned my transcripts getting requested and how the whole school is proud of me and, man, that's awesome and all, but it's scary, too, which I know makes me sound like a fucking pussy, but whatever."

My chest's tight, I try to breathe. It's hard, but I do, and then I say, "I just want to play. I want to be with Bella, and I have no fucking idea what to do or where to go, or even if she's going to come with me. We've talked about her going wherever I go, and she says she wants to leave Forks, no matter what, and no matter what's going on with her mom, but still, what if when the time comes she can't go because her mom's still like she is?" And the words are just spewing and I can't stop them. I don't even try. I know it's almost time for class to start but Emmett doesn't move, doesn't even indicate he gives one shit that we might be late, so I keep going, needing to get this out. "What kind of asshole does that make me that I want Bella with me anyway, even if nothing has changed for her mom? It's going to be weird enough without you and Jas, but going without Bella … man … I can't even … I don't know if I …" By the time I spit out the last word, I swear I'm having a fucking heart attack.

God, it would so suck to die right here in the hallway of Forks High.

"Okay, whoa, Ed. You gotta chill the fuck out." Emmett coughs, clearly freaked out by my outburst.

He's not the only one.

The hall's practically empty, just a few stragglers left hurrying to class but still, neither of us move.

"First of all," Emmett begins, taking an awkward breath as he shifts from foot to foot, before leaning back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest and eyes as honest and genuine as I've ever seen them. "Seriously, take a deep breath and calm down. How the fuck am I supposed to see you on TV or get to watch you from some owner's box while I eat chicken wings and drink beer if you stroke out on me?"

He waggles his eyebrow and it makes me laugh, just like he wanted me to and just like I needed. Damn he's good.

"Second, I get it. You have a lot of shit to think about, but you can't let it make you crazy. You've wanted this for as long as I've known you, Edward, and it's all right there at the tips of your fingers. The soccer, the girl, the life, all of it, just waiting for you to reach out and grab it. So do it. What do you want? Do you want to play right out of high school, or do you want to go to college, make the National Team, travel the world, and then come back to us lowly normal people?"

I open my mouth to contradict the last comment but he holds his hand up, and says, "No."

The tone of his voice makes me snap my mouth shut and wait for him to go on. "Look, you have a gift, Edward, you do. I don't do this with you; this is Jasper's thing, when he goes all Mr. Zen on our asses, but he's not here, I am, so just listen to me. You've worked your whole life to get to this moment, so do your thing, you know? You deserve it. Sure, it might freak you the fuck out, I get that. I mean this is Forks we're talking about, so it's not like any of us are all that used to living on our own. We all know that Newton peed his pants in second grade when Mrs. Oliver wouldn't let him go to the bathroom in the middle of our spelling test and that Lauren Mallory punched Yorkie in the nuts in fifth grade when he tried to look up her skirt during the Christmas program."

"Oh, hell." I can't help but laugh remembering the squeal Eric let loose right in the middle of Principal White's greeting to the crowd before we all started singing _Joy to the World_ wearing cheesy ass Santa hats and dressed in red and green.

"Right?" Emmett laughs along with me and then we both grimace. "He's lucky Lauren didn't ruin him for life. That girl knows how to pack a punch, but Yorkie's dick is so small, it's a wonder she hit it at all."

He pushes off the wall but still doesn't move to go to class. By this point, we're already late, so I wait for him to finish saying the rest of what's on his mind … what's obviously been on his mind for a while. Emmett's right, he and I don't usually talk this way. That's not to say that we haven't had our moments where the conversations get pretty fucking deep, but they don't happen all that often. I've learned over the years, as we've gotten older and somewhat more mature - we are still only eighteen so the maturity only goes so far, especially for him - that when he talks like this, to always listen. Jasper might have the market cornered on knowing things and being able to tell when something's wrong or I need to talk, but Emmett's insight is freakishly right on point and he always manages to impress me with how clearly he can get to the heart of things … like right now.

"It's gotta be scary as shit thinking about going off on your own, but you'll have Bella, and that's really all you need. She's your one, yeah, just like Rosie's mine and Ali is Jasper's. I love you guys, you're my bros and I love Bella and Ali like sisters, but I can live without you guys if I have to. What I can't live without is Rose because with her, I can do whatever the fuck I want to. Just like you can go off and do your thing, make us all proud … and you will." He starts walking and snorts. "Dude, the girl looks at you like you walk on water, so, trust me, she's going wherever you go, no matter what's going on at home. She needs to, she'll suffocate if she doesn't, and I'm damn sure not going to sit around and let that happen anyway, so you just make your plans and everything will fall into place."

"Emmett," I whisper hoarsely around the huge lump in my throat.

He shrugs and waves a hand in the air. "Yeah, yeah, you didn't know I had it in me, did ya? Gotta say, I'm kinda impressed with myself for saying all that. Who needs Jasper, huh?"

We laugh and I feel a million times better. "Really, Em, thanks," I tell him sincerely.

"One last moment then my quota for like the fucking year is done because, man this emotional shit wears me the fuck out. You're my best friend, Edward, so don't thank me. This is what we do. You'd do the same for Jasper and he'd do the same for me. We're like a fucking tripod or whatever other lame metaphor you wanna use, but it's the truth. Wherever you go, whatever you do, Jas and I will always have your back. I love ya, even when you act like a teeny bopper getting all bent out of shape over those One Dimension dudes."

"Direction, you jackass." I snicker then shake my head at the fact I actually know that. What the hell?

"Well, whatever, you know what I mean … and I won't even ask how you know that. But regardless, I meant what I said, though if you repeat it, I'll have to retaliate by telling everyone, especially Bella, that you used to make me take your Superman Underoos home with me after a game so your mom wouldn't wash them when we were little. I still can't believe you talked me into that shit, even if they were your lucky pair and we won every game you wore them in." He slaps my back, hard, when I stare at him with my jaw on the floor. "And don't think I won't do it either. I have a rep to protect and all that jazz."

We're at the end of the hallway. I have to go right to Spanish and he needs to go left to Culinary Skills. With the way he eats, he definitely needs to know how to feed himself.

I ask, "What are you going to say to Ms. Sanderson so you don't get in trouble?" We are almost twenty minutes late after all.

He rolls his eyes. "Edward, my man, all I have to do is flash Ms. S my dimples and she's putty in my hands. She wants me, didn't ya know? Everyone wants a piece of this." How he can say those words with a straight face is totally beyond me. "What are you going to do about Spanish?"

I scoff. "Pffft, it's Señora Guzman, I don't have to do anything but walk in and tell her _lo siento_, maybe throw in a pout, and I'm golden."

"We're so totally awesome, dudes only wish they could bring it like we do. You okay now?" he asks walking backward down the hall.

"Yep, see you at lunch," I answer back before turning and hurrying down the hall.

Getting past Señora Guzman is just as easy as I told Em it would be. I reach out and let my fingers dust over Bella's shoulder as I pass her on my way to my seat, Emmett's words still front and center in my mind. Just seeing her, touching her, settles the uneasy thoughts that are still swirling and churning. In a flash, I drop my backpack on the ground beside my desk, take out my Spanish book and notebook for class, and catch up with the lecture.

I can tell Bella's wondering why I was late. She keeps fidgeting in her seat and every time Señora Guzman turns toward the board, she glances back over her shoulder at me.

Finally, worried she's going to give herself whiplash, I lean forward and whisper in her ear. "Everything's fine. We'll talk about it later, okay?"

She sighs when my warm breath fans over her ear and though I'm sure she's relieved to hear nothing is wrong, I can't help but think she's just a little, or maybe a lot, affected by my lips being so close to her skin. I really fucking hope she is. Deciding to test my theory, I lean in closer and murmur, "Cuando la clase terminó, voy a darte un beso tan largo y tan bueno, verás las estrellas."

She does this little whimper groan thing in the back of her throat and I chuckle low and quite proud of myself … adding a silent fist pump when I see her squirm and her arm break out in goosebumps.

"Edward," she warns, which is really just waving a big red flag in my face, but I have to sit back when Señora Guzman faces the class again.

For the rest of the period I behave, mostly, but as usual, twirl her hair around my fingers as I conjugate the verbs of the day. Touching her, being this close to her, helps to soothe the frazzle from before, but then again, it wakes up the twisty turny thing in my stomach because I know in a few minutes I'll have my mouth on hers and her body against mine. The thought makes concentrating on Spanish pretty damn hard, a lot like a certain body part.

When the bell rings, I slide my things into my backpack, not even bothering to zip it closed, and then pull Bella behind me as I hurry out the door. The five minutes we get between classes isn't long, but I plan on using every second to kiss the shit out of my girl.

"Where were you? What's wrong?" she asks as I drag her toward the alcove off the senior hall.

A quick sweep and it's definitely my lucky day because no one is around. Without missing a step, I stop, push her against the wall, and then attack her mouth. Hands on either side of her head, our bodies lined up just so and it's exactly what I need."Fuck, you taste good. Spicy and cinnamony, my favorite."

My tongue dives into her open mouth, tangling with hers. I step forward and slip my thigh between her legs. She squeaks. I groan. It feels so good. She feels so good. All soft and warm, and smelling like heaven. She moves, arching her back in a way that makes my dick so hard it hurts.

"Oh, yeah, just like that." I groan when she does it again.

Her fingers comb through my hair and she tugs, hard, when I return the favor and swivel my hips against her pussy. We're back to the kissing again. I seriously could kiss her for hours.

"Okay, ahhh," Bella mumbles against my lips, "tell me what … oh, ohhhh." She sighs and lets her head fall backward when I suck on the skin behind her ear.

"Less talking, more kissing, baby. We don't have much longer," I tell her and dive back in for one more toe-curling, heart-stopping kiss. It has to last me through lunch … two long fucking hours from now.

One more shift of my hips, one more dip into her mouth and reluctantly I lift my mouth from hers. She looks a little dazed and confused. Pupils dilated, lips swollen, cheeks flushed pink. It's hot as hell. I love seeing her this way … like a whole lot.

I link our fingers together and rest my forehead against hers.

"I don't know if I should say I'm sorry for attacking you that way or not." I chuckle.

"Um … definitely not. Feel free to kiss me like that anytime the urge strikes. I promise I won't mind." She squeezes my hands and when I lift my forehead from hers I can see she's still wondering what's going on with me.

I open my mouth, fully intending to tell her not to worry, but instead I say, "I'm so glad you're my person."

"I'm glad I am, too," she responds immediately, understanding what I mean with no explanation whatsoever. She always gets me, even when I say ridiculous things totally out of context. It's as scary as it is cool. She twists her mouth and narrows her eyes, studying my face, while I want to rewind the prior thirty seconds and stop the word vomit from coming out in the first place, no matter how true the words are. "Tell me what's wrong?"

A glance at my watch, and I turn us toward the main hall. "We're going to be late if we don't hurry."

She huffs, annoyed. "Bella, we'll talk at lunch, I promise, but it's really not a big deal. I swear. I just got hung up talking to Emmett and that's why I was late."

A tug against my hand and I groan as I face her. I probably shouldn't have spent so much time kissing her, but damn, I needed it … though I really don't need to be late to another class today. Still, I stop like she wants me to. I can talk my way out of trouble with a teacher, not so much with Bella.

"I love you," she says softly and I sigh.

My girl is so fucking awesome.

I kiss the tip of her nose real quick then, "Love you, too. Now let's move it."

With only seconds to spare, I'm in my seat when the next class starts. Lunch is spent talking quietly with Bella, ignoring everyone but her, as I tell her about what Principal Banner said, how that made me feel, and then about my talk with Emmett. She listens to every word, and waits until I'm finished talking before having her turn. Of course she understands, she's Bella, and by the end of lunch, I feel a lot better. I know it won't be the only time I freak out, it's just who I am, but knowing that I have her to talk to and help me makes all the difference in the world.

She's my person … just like I'm hers … and I know that whatever happens, we'll always be together.

**~~~~OOO~~~~~OOO~~~~~**

The end of the next week and I'm rethinking this whole her person, my person thing because I seriously think I'm going to throw up.

Fucking hell.

"Are you ready?" she asks looking calm as can be and really fucking hot, too, in her short black dress. She's trying to kill me. She knows what seeing her legs does to me, and I really don't need a hard-on right now.

I gulp and nod slowly. "I'm so not ready, but it's too late to do anything about it now. Just … don't leave my side, okay? I don't want to fuck this up."

She giggles. "Relax. He's going to love you."

"God, I fucking hope so," I mumble as she drags me into the kitchen where none other than Phil Dwyer is standing, looking every bit as intimidating here as he does on the pitcher's mound.

"Phil, this is Edward." Bella squeezes my hand and I reach out with my other.

"Edward Cullen, sir. It's so nice to finally meet you. Bella's told me so much about you."

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**And … Phil has entered the building, folks! Ahhhh! About time, yes? Our boy *sigh* so much going on in his head these days. He'll be fine though, trust me. He just needs to not worry so much. What am I saying? He's Edward, of course he worries, but really, he'll know what to do when the time comes. **

**So, next, we'll see the rest of Phil's visit and move toward the holidays. Things are progressing, there are some events on the horizon though. Stick with me, we're getting toward some big things. **

**Keep checking the blog and the FB page, there is always info being posted there. **

***what Edward tells Bella in Spanish class: "When class is over, I'm going to kiss you so long and so good, you'll see stars." **

**"****lo siento****"**** - I****'****m sorry**

**See you next week! I hope you enjoyed the Edward-centric chapter, I'd love to know what you thought, so let me hear from you, okay? **

**Til next time …**

**Erin~ **


	19. Butterfiles

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, this plot's all mine. **

**No excuses, just heartfelt thanks for still being here and still caring about what happens to these two. It means more than I can say. **

**It's dinner time; let's see how it goes. **

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~~**

**Chapter 17 - Butterflies**

**BPOV**

_I shouldn't laugh. I shouldn't laugh. I really, really shouldn't laugh._

I chant this over and over and over in my head as I watch Edward and Phil size each other up, hands glued together, neither one willing to be the first to break eye contact. It's funny - I can't really tell who's more intimidated. It's about fifty/fifty at this point. Phil is the adult so you'd think he'd have the advantage, and certainly the fact that he's a world-famous MLB pitcher doesn't hurt, but he's been just as nervous about meeting Edward as Edward has been about meeting him.

Men.

Of course Phil's never really had to do the whole 'meet the boyfriend' thing. The few dates I went on in Phoenix, Mom was the meeter and greeter since Phil was usually on the road or at practice and there weren't that many dates in the first place. There's certainly never been anyone as important as Edward … nor one who knows so much about everything. I guess that's reason enough for Phil to be a little wary, but he really doesn't need to be. Edward wasn't Phil's biggest fan in the beginning, but as the relationship between me and Phil has gotten better, Edward's opinion of him has changed as well.

Phil, on the other hand, has been rather closed-lipped about Edward. Oh, he seems truly happy that Edward and I are together, but he's kept anything more than just casual questions and comments to himself.

This dinner should be very interesting.

At first I couldn't decide if I should ask Dr. and Mrs. Cullen to dinner as well. I know Phil and Dr. C are acquainted with each other already, so it probably wouldn't be all that weird to have them here, but for this first time, I'd rather it just be Edward with Phil and me. Maggie's been conspicuously scarce since she finished making dinner, making some lame excuse about eating in her room so she could paint her nails. Funny thing that, Mag never paints her nails … like never, ever. I know she's giving Phil and Edward some time to get to know each other, but I suspect that will only last so long.

I can't get over how different I feel about this dinner than the one where I met Edward's parents for the first time. I'm not nervous at all. I've been looking forward to this day for a long time, certainly since Phil's visit in the summer. It doesn't amuse Edward in the least that I just roll my eyes and giggle whenever he goes off on a Phil tangent … he's done a lot of that lately. He goes back and forth between acting like a fan and being protective of me. I think it has more to do with all the other things going on with him than Phil specifically, but looking at the way he's standing, straight as a board, shoulders back and staring Phil directly in the eye, maybe I've been wrong.

_Hmmm._ That will definitely be a topic of conversation later.

"Well, now, Edward, it's good to meet you, too. Bella's certainly been singing your praises for a while. It's nice to put a face with the name," Phil says breezily, though I can see the corners of his mouth pinch and his eyes narrow ever so slightly as Edward lets go of my hand and wraps an arm around my waist.

It could be because Edward's hands are so big that when he spreads his fingers like he is now, on purpose, I'm quite sure, they almost reach the bottom of my boob. In fact, when Edward pulls me closer and Phil's eyebrows shoot up almost to his hairline, I figure it's time to deflect.

"Okay, Mags has dinner ready, so let's go ahead and eat before we ruin her famous smothered pork chops by letting them get cold." I look from one frozen statue to the other and flick a quick peek to make sure there's not a puddle of drool on the floor beneath their slack jaws.

Nope, but if I wait much longer to get the two of them to the table there will be.

Laughing, I glance at Phil. "What did you think that smell was? You've had Maggie's cooking plenty of times."

He shrugs, looking every bit as calm and casual as he always does in a well-worn pair of jeans and a loose t-shirt. He's tired though, I can tell; he has circles under his eyes and his skin's the color of the ashy gray rain clouds that move in every afternoon. Fall is definitely the rainy season in the Forks. I don't mind the rain, though you'd think I would, considering I spent so many years in the sunny, dry heat of Phoenix. The dreary weather could easily wreak havoc on my psyche, making it easy to dwell and wallow, but my friends would never let me do that.

Neither would Edward.

"Hey, baby, do you want me to get the plates and the glasses?" Edward asks without waiting for an answer.

He bustles around the kitchen going straight toward the correct cabinets that house the dishes. I ignore Phil's silent question, rolling my eyes as I carry the casserole dish to the table. Edward follows with the plates and silverware, while I turn back to get the iced tea and water pitchers out of the fridge. We move seamlessly, like we've eaten countless meals together instead of just a handful. Ever since my birthday, he comes over here for dinner one or two times a week, which thrills Maggie to no end. She gets almost as excited when Rose, Alice, and Angela come over to study - well it's more like gossip - but still, the house feels a lot more like a home than I ever imagined it could four short months ago.

So much has changed, but as the three of us sit, it hits me that not quite everything has changed when there is a starkly empty chair next to Phil.

"So, Edward, tell me a bit about your soccer. Bella tells me you're going to be traveling over the holidays. Where are you headed?" Phil asks as he pours everyone a drink before sitting down.

Edward flashes me a worried look, swallows, sits up straight, then answers Phil. "California. My ODP team is playing in a tournament in San Diego. It's supposed to be one of the biggest tournaments of the year, so I'm really excited about getting to play some new teams and there will be college coaches there from all over the country, too. It kinda sucks that I'll be gone over New Years, but it's not like I can say no." I wait for it … and then, "Oh, shit, I mean, ah … oh, God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that."

I hold my hand over my mouth. I try not to giggle, which of course only makes me laugh harder. Phil's grin is a mile wide and poor Edward is the color of a tomato.

"Edward, relax." Phil chuckles and surreptitiously wipes the tears from below his eyes. "I play ball and spend time with a bunch of guys more than two hundred days a year. I think I can handle a 'suck' and a 'shit' without freaking out."

Edward blows out an embarrassed breath and then laughs. "Sorry," he says with a shrug. "This is definitely not how I wanted to make my first impression."

"Seriously, forget about it. I'd rather see you relaxed enough to let loose than be all uptight. Besides this one," Phil winks in my direction, "needs someone who can keep up with her. She's a feisty thing."

I grin at Phil, enjoying so much that he's here. I know it's hard for him, that he still has difficulty balancing the love he still has for Mom with the need to let go and move on, but the fact he's trying so hard and doing so much to be a part of my life gives me hope that sometime soon I'll be ready to let go as well.

I feel closer every day. It's sad and it still causes deep-seated guilt, but life isn't always fair and I truly have too much to live for to wither away. Not only Mom, but my dad, too, would definitely not want that to happen.

Before I'm able to really follow what's going on because I've sort of spaced out, Edward's and Phil's laughter yanks me back. They are talking like old friends and it warms my heart. I love seeing Edward interacting with Phil, teasing and comfortable. It's everything I wanted. The rest of the dinner passes with easy conversation. Phil's eyes positively light up when Edward mentions Emmett and Jasper and they talk about going to the batting cages in Port Angeles together.

"I'm serious, Phil, the first time Emmett sees you, I bet you twenty bucks the dude passes out within three minutes." Edward looks at me, eyes shining. "Isn't that right, Bella? Em's been talking about meeting Phil since this summer."

I nod and smile at Phil. "He's right. Em's pretty excited about meeting you. Jasper, too. It's made me quite popular, so thanks for that."

Phil's eyes widen and he coughs, choking on a laugh and his words. "What? Oh, Bella, I'm sorry," he says and I can tell that he's unsure if I'm angry or not.

Edward looks from me to to Phil, his mouth pinched tight and eyes narrowed, upset.

I wave it all away. It wouldn't be the first time that someone has tried to get close to Phil through me. Anything that happened back in Phoenix is old news, not important, and watching Emmett and Jasper try to outdo each other to see who gets to meet Phil first is more amusing than anything. Besides, I know they're true friends and it's all done in good fun.

"Hey, Edward," Phil gets Edward's attention. "How about me, you, Emmett, and Jasper hit up the batting cages in Port Angeles sometime soon? Your dad, too, if he can sneak away from the hospital for a few hours."

Edward gulps, but nods enthusiastically, his Jolly Rancher green eyes bright and shining. He leans over and kisses my cheek as if I have something to do with Phil's offer. I take a second and glance at Phil, feeling closer to him than I ever have before. The complete acceptance of the friends and the life I've begun to live here means more than I realized.

"Wow, Phil. That sounds great." Edward beams. "We should go soon, like this weekend. We don't have to go to Seattle for games and I'm pretty sure Dad's off, too."

I listen as they make plans, smiling at how excited they both sound. Every few seconds there's a hand on my knee, or a twirl of my hair around his fingers. Casual, comfortable actions that speak louder than words ever can and when I see a soft, though a bit sad, smile on Phil's face, I know he sees how important Edward is to me and how much I love him.

God, I love him. So much.

Seeing Edward happy and relaxed after the tension of the past few weeks is so nice. I know he's still worried about the things he needs to decide on, and what the right decision is, but we've talked about it a lot; he's talked to Emmett and Jasper, his parents, and I know he'll figure it all out. I watch with an amused smile as Edward describes his last game to Phil, arms waving around and talking a mile a minute like he always does when he gets passionate about something. He talks with his whole body, hands and eyes and heart - sometimes even his legs depending on the topic. I love watching him.

I giggle a little at the thought … and the irony.

Edward snaps his head in my direction and I roll my eyes at myself and get up to begin clearing the table.

"Do you need any help?" Edward asks, standing to do just that.

Phil waits for me to shake my head no and then asks, "Edward, why don't we go get some air before we have dessert?"

I have to smile. I mean, could the man be any more obvious? And funny, the thought of Phil giving Edward the "what are your intentions with my daughter" speech only makes me love him more.

Edward quickly looks at me, surprise and worry fighting for the dominant emotion.

"It'll be fine," I tell him and walk forward to brush a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Bella," he whines and I have to bite my tongue to stop from laughing. He's worried for nothing; he knows this, I know this, even Phil knows this, but it's one of those things that just has to happen.

"Go." I shoo him. "There will be chocolate cake waiting when you come back inside."

"Fine. But I want an extra scoop of ice cream and a glass of chocolate milk, not plain milk if I have to do this," he bargains, like he's about to be sent off to war or something instead of spending a few minutes alone with a man that obviously likes him enough to make plans to take him to the batting cages for the day.

"Just go, you big baby. It's your turn with the parents now. Not so much fun when the shoe's on the other foot, is it?"

I try to keep a straight face, but fail miserably when he smirks at me. "Yeah, like Mom and Dad are real scary."

I watch him turn and walk out the side door. Maggie pokes her head in, a smug grin spread across her face.

"It's safe to come out now, you big meanie, you," I tell her as I get the milk out of the fridge.

"Well, I have to say I would have loved to watch our boy squirm while Phil gave him the third degree, but I figured Edward would have enough to deal with without me adding to it. How'd it go?" she asks as she cuts the cake and sets the pieces on the plates.

I sigh and give her a warm smile. "It was fine, much better than I thought it would be actually."

She scoffs and shakes her head. "I don't know why you were so worried. Anyone with eyes can see how much Edward loves you and how happy he makes you. That's all Phil wants."

"I know," I say quietly. "Having them both here, and you, the house feels so different, don't you think? Like home."

Maggie's hand covers mine and she squeezes it. "I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see you smile like that, to hear you sound so content. Your mom would be so proud of you."

I nod, choking back tears that burn in the corners of my eyes. "I know," I hoarsely whisper.

Phil and Edward aren't gone long, only about twenty minutes, but when they walk back in the door, both smiling and looking relaxed, I know everything is just fine.

Maggie joins us for dessert, and by the time we're done I'm not sure Edward will ever come back to eat with us again. Poor guy. It's a good thing he can take as good as he dishes out because not many would be able to withstand a Maggie/Phil tag team.

"I better get going," Edward says as he stands up. It's late, almost ten o'clock though it really doesn't feel like he's been here for almost four hours. He kisses Maggie on the cheek, making her blush, and he shakes Phil's hand. There's a look that passes between them, one of respect and a common ground, which I suppose is me. Whatever it is, it makes me warm inside and want to kiss Edward until he can't breathe.

He must have the same idea because as soon as we step outside, he drags me to his car and presses me up against it, his whole body against mine. He's hard, everywhere, and his mouth is on mine, his tongue pushing into my mouth. He tastes sweet, like chocolate and sugar, and I groan as he holds me still and grinds his hips against mine.

"Holy shit, I've been dying to do that for hours." He pants, trying to catch his breath. His twists my hair around his fingers and his teeth scrape up and down the side of my neck. He sucks on the spot below my ear and I turn my head, wanting more.

His tongue circles the spot and when the cool night air reaches the wet trail, I shiver. Edward wraps me in his arms and rubs his hands up and down my arms.

"I like Phil," he whispers into my ear. I squeeze him tighter, trying to get closer, because while I knew that just from watching them, hearing the words is so much better.

"That makes me happy."

He nods against my shoulder, then his mouth is on my neck again. Warm breath, then the sting of his teeth. "He loves you, baby. So much. I know that I didn't understand everything in the beginning, how he could leave you here, but I get it now."

"You guys were outside a long time …" I hint, hoping he'll spill the details.

When his mouth covers mine and his tongue sweeps across my bottom lip, I give up the fight. I'd rather kiss him than talk anyway. We spend a hot ten minutes saying goodbye before he finally kisses the tip of my nose and gets into his car. We do have school in the morning, so I know he needs to leave.

"Love you," he says as before he shuts the door. "I'll call you when I get home."

I laugh and roll my eyes at the two of us … he'll be home in less than fifteen minutes, but I nod because I want him to call no matter how ridiculous it is. "Love you, too. Thanks for coming tonight. It meant a lot."

He winks before he turns the car on. "You ask, I'll come. Always. Now get your hot little ass inside, it's cold out here."

I watch him pull away and stand there in the dark once he's gone. A cold breeze makes me wrap my arms around myself and I squeak, startled when Phil's arm is draped across my shoulder. He pulls me close and I lay my head on his shoulder. A few minutes pass, minutes where no words are spoken, but none need to be said. Finally he kisses the top of my head and whispers, "You're gonna be fine, sweetheart. Just fine."

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~~**

_**A few weeks later …**_

Needing a change of scenery or maybe just a new perspective, I grab my favorite blanket off the end of my bed, my fluffy, silly pen, Edward's notebook, and shuffle toward the living room. Maggie's already turned in for the night, Phil's in Seattle, so the house is as quiet as the inside of a church. The refrigerator hums, the pendulum on the grandfather clock tucked in the corner swishes, chiming every fifteen minutes of the hour. The icy wind rattles through the bare branches outside, the gusts making the trees sway and bend, but inside there's no other sound. I look out the window toward the woods and shiver, pulling the blanket tighter around me. Clouds drift across the silvery white moon and the shadows are almost ominous as they creep along the ground like spindly fingers. Halloween was weeks ago, but all the weather outside needs is spooky music and a haunted house and it'd be the perfect backdrop for a horror movie. I shiver again and move from the window, my thoughts ridiculous, but no less the stuff guaranteed to keep me up all night. I so don't need that tonight.

The hairs on the back of my neck settle as I turn toward the couch. The scent of the pumpkin spice candle that was lit earlier still lingers in the air. There are bowls of fall-scented potpourri - cinnamon, apple, and spices - scattered here and there … Maggie's a big fan of the stuff. A basket of deep red apples sits on the island in the kitchen. Firewood is stacked in a neat bundle beside the fireplace. No matter how frigid it is outside, inside it's warm and safe, comforting, even if it is late at night.

Normally I'd go outside and play my drums, but I'm not in the mood. Not in the mood to dance or read either. I could call Edward, but he's got a big test in Pre-Calc tomorrow and he's been so stressed about it, it's a wonder the guy has any hair left with the way he's been abusing it lately. I glance toward the hallway and Mom's room beyond, but for some reason, one that I don't particularly want to examine at the moment, I don't want to go in there either.

Sighing, I curl up in the corner of the sofa, bringing my knees up below my chin. I glance at my feet - I really need to repaint my toenails, they're looking a little worse for wear. I wrap my arms around my legs and rest my forehead on my knees, feeling just … out of sorts. There's nothing really wrong, nothing that I can put a finger on anyway, but I just can't turn my mind off.

The last few weeks have been chock-full of all kinds of things, but nothing out of the ordinary. Just life. Edward meeting Phil, getting used to having Phil around more, though he still comes and goes pretty regularly due to his post-season MLB obligations now that the season's over. Promotion stuff, meetings with his agent, appearances - the list is enough to make my head swim. I know he's getting close to being done with baseball for good. He's mentioned it in passing a few times and it makes me wonder how exactly things will be when the time comes.

I wrap my arms tighter around my legs at the thought of the future. So much to think about. Edward and I have done a lot of talking about what's going to happen after graduation. It was kind of necessary after his freak out a few weeks before. It was bound to happen sooner or later, and quite honestly, I'm surprised it took that long. I don't blame him for feeling overwhelmed; there's a lot to think about, but every time we talk about it, he seems a little calmer, a little surer of what he wants. I feel better about what might happen after graduation. I know he does, too. Knowing that we'll be together, wherever it will be, makes all the difference in the world.

I'm terrified of leaving Forks … of leaving Mom, but these last few months have taught me that I can't stop living my life just because there has been no change in Mom's condition. Going through life with one foot planted in the past and the other unable to step forward is no way to live. I've learned that.

And, my life is pretty great right now. Good friends who make me laugh and make me feel like I've known them forever instead of just a few months, an amazing boyfriend who I love more than life itself, Maggie and Phil … I have plenty in my life to be be happy about. My necklace dangles and automatically I reach for it, sliding the pendant back and forth along the chain. Butterflies flutter in my stomach as I remember that night and I pick up my notebook to read my letter to Edward.

_Hey, Creeper,_

_I walked by a mirror today, you know the one in the entryway, and the light was shining just so and it caught the reflection off my necklace. I've only had it a few days now and I still can't get used to seeing it on my neck every day. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's so beautiful and I love it so much, but you gave me your heart, Edward. It's just … I can't even put it into words._

_You're so much better at this than me, at using words to express yourself, which is totally unfair I'll have you know. You're a better musician than me and a better athlete, you beat me every time we play Call of Duty, and you never get stuck being partners with Heidi in Spanish so you'd think that the universe would somehow give me just one thing I'm better at than you, but no._

_Not that I don't love your words, because God knows I do. Written or spoken, whispered or even in a text they always make me do this thing where my breath catches in my throat and it's kind of hard to swallow for a few moments or minutes or maybe even hours. My stomach feels like there are a thousand butterflies flapping their wings, trying to get out, and normally when you whisper in my ear, especially in Spanish class, I get hot all over, but get goosebumps at the same time. I know that's no big secret since I hear you laugh at me every day._

_Not even gonna lie, I kinda hate that I can't ever hide what you do to me._

_Ugh, I can't believe I'm telling you this … well I guess I can since I tell you everything, but it's not like you need any more reason to keep me constantly turned on. It's embarrassing really, like really really. You should hear the things the other girls ask me in the locker room and for God's sake do not ever, never, ever, EVER tell me what you guys talk about in your locker room. I swear if you do, I'll never make you another sugar cookie … ever again! Just thinking about it makes me wanna throw up. Mike, Alec, and Eric all talking - God, that's wrong on so many levels!_

_And none of this is what I wanted to say! Why is it that when I sit down to start writing I go off on these ridiculous tangents? I think you put some kind of voodoo spell on our notebooks to make me spill my guts to you. That's it, right? On top of being the most perfect boyfriend ever, now I find out you also possess magical abilities … next thing I know you'll be able to wave your finger around and go 'presto strippo' and my clothes will just simply disappear. You know you'd so do it if you could!_

_What this whole rambling, nonsensical mess is supposed to be telling you is that my birthday was beyond amazing, beyond anything I could have ever planned or thought of, and beyond perfect … (and don't let this go to your head!) just like you. Even days later, and I can still feel what it was like to play with you, to hear you, to share those moments with you. I remember the way you sounded, the way we sounded together, and the way it felt when you played and sang just for me. I wish I could bottle the whole day up and somehow be able to plunge myself right back into the most incredible experience of my whole life._

_I love you, Edward. Today, tomorrow … always!_

_Yours,_

_DG_

I sigh and smile. The night was one I'll never forget. I read through a few more entries, just needing to feel connected to Edward. As I skim over our words to each other it's like I can literally feel us getting closer, learning, growing, becoming better people because of what we give to each other. The future's still uncertain, but I know with all my heart that Edward and I will always be together.

How can I worry too much when I have him?

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

Halloween and Thanksgiving come and go and finally Edward and I have some time to ourselves. Wrapped in a blanket that helps fight the just-above-freezing temperatures outside our building, we cuddle on the loveseat. We could be inside the house, if we were sane, that's no doubt where we should be, but he wanted me to play for him, and of course I can't tell him no. There are a few space heaters cutting the chill of the air, but we still need to wear long sleeves and jeans, socks, too, but it's not too bad. Not that being close to Edward is ever bad.

"I've missed being out here with you," Edward whispers as he tightens his arms around me.

I roll over and hold his face in my hands, covering his mouth with mine. I nibble on his bottom lip, let my tongue sweep across the roof of his mouth before I massage his tongue with mine. I snap my hips toward his and he groans into my mouth. Without breaking apart, I nudge and move until we're sitting up and I'm straddling his thighs.

"Bella?" Edward asks, panting for breath. I don't let him catch it, instead, I plunge my tongue back in his mouth.

His hands are so warm as he slides them up my back, the cold late November air against my exposed skin makes me shiver … though it could be because he's so hard beneath me. I test my theory, rolling my hips forward and smile against his lips when he hisses. God, I love that. Making him crazy, seeing that wild, needy look in his eyes.

Such a turn-on.

Trailing my lips from his mouth to his neck, I press even closer. Arms around his neck, our chests tight against the other, his hand firmly on my ass moving me just like he likes it. It's a complete toss-up whether I like straddling like I am now or when he's on top of me better. Both have their advantages, but since I'm where I am at the moment, I make the best of it.

My hand slips between us and I watch his eyes roll when I grip him firmly in my hand.

"Fuck, oh Christ, that feels good, baby." The words are choppy, clipped and it spurs me on. Rubbing him through the denim I can feel him twitch beneath my fingers. I move to unbutton his jeans but he stills my hand with his.

"Wait, ah hell," he stutters because I don't listen and stretch my fingers so that the very tips graze his hard cock. He clenches his jaw and inhales deeply.

"You really want me to wait?" I question with an arched eyebrow and sexy smirk on my face.

"Fuck. Yes," he tries to say but then my thumb swipes through the bead of liquid seeping from the tip of his cock and he sucks in a breath between his teeth. His nostrils flare and his eyes darken until they're almost black.

"Edward?" I ask again as I curl my fingers around him.

"No, oh Christ, fuck no. Don't stop. Please don't stop."

I latch my mouth to his neck, flicking my tongue over the pulse that's flying beneath his skin. Then down lower, to the top of his shoulder and then to the hollow beneath his throat. I want him naked … want to be naked with him, but it's too cold out here for that. So instead, I shove my hand fully down his boxers, and use the moisture that's leaking to help my fingers move smoothly up and down.

He bucks his hips against me, and oh God, it feels so good. My free hand slips beneath his loose shirt and my fingers walk up his chest, then drag a fingernail across his nipple.

"Oh God." He moans. His head's thrown onto the back of the loveseat. His fingers are digging into my hips, holding me in place, like he never wants me to move. But I have every intention of moving. I slide off his lap, and kneel between his legs.

His jeans flipped open, I order, "Lift."

He snaps his head up, and I can tell the instant he realizes why. "Bella," my name falls from his mouth in a mixture of want and need and probably a little guilt because it's cold and I'm on my knees in front of him.

"Shhh," I tell him and then tug his jeans and his boxers down his legs. It's not the first time I've seen him this way, we've done pretty much everything sexually we can do besides the act itself, but I've only gone down on him a few times. I lick my lips and I hear this half groan half growl rumble deep in his chest.

I wrap my fingers around his shaft and lean forward, flattening my tongue so I can make one long lift from the base of his cock all the way to the tip. My other hand lays on his hip and I have to push to keep him still.

"Jesus Christ," Edward breathes as I take him into my mouth.

He's so hard and so big, and I'm still not used to moving and breathing, but it doesn't take long to find a rhythm that makes him whimper and still allows me to not gag myself. His hands fist in my hair and it feels so good when he pulls on it. His hips circle and my tongue does the same as it moves up and down. I suck harder and swirl my tongue with each movement.

He's panting and grunting and it's so hot. So, so hot to hear him lose control. A stream of naughty words, words that make me wet and tingly and have to rub my legs together, are uttered in between gasping breaths.

"Baby, holy hell, keep doing that," he begs when I hum around him.

"Is this okay?" he asks, his words stuttered and clipped. His hands are on the back of my head and he's thrusting into my mouth and although my jaw's starting to get sore and my lips numb, there's no way in hell I'm telling him no.

I look up at him, and nod, still keeping as much of him in my mouth as I can take. "Oh my fucking God, you look so hot like that. Jesus."

His eyes are wild, his cheeks flushed, and I love seeing him right on the brink of letting go. The muscles of his thighs flex and tighten and his shirt's been pushed up just enough so that I can see the trail of hair beneath his belly button. His entire body's wound tight and I can feel that he's aching to explode. His cock throbs in my mouth and he's so close to coming.

"Fuck, fuck … fuuuuck." He groans and writhes and then he stops moving. With one last hum and swirl of my tongue, he's gone, muttering, "Oh, God," and "yes, yes" over and over again. I keep my mouth on him until he's done. He doesn't move, just lays there breathing in and out, and I grab a tissue and wipe my mouth.

I love everything about Edward, but so not that.

I sit up higher and wipe him off, too, then tuck him back into his jeans. He pulls me up on his lap and he looks so sleepy, but very, very happy.

"God damn, baby, that was incredible," he says after he kisses me to show me just how grateful he is. "I love you so fucking much."

I curl up on his lap and we sit that way for a little while, not really talking much but doing plenty of kissing and touching.

"Hey, I need to ask you something," he tells me, sweeping my hair back from my face. "I started to ask you this earlier, but well, you know." He grins.

"What?"

He moves us so that I'm pressed against the back of the loveseat and he's facing me. Our legs are tangled, and he pulls the blanket tightly around us so that we're in our own little Edward/Bella bubble. I don't ever want to move. He smells so good, spicy, a little sweaty, and just all Edward. I nuzzle into the side of his neck and can't resist flicking my tongue against his skin and having a little taste.

"You are gonna kill me one of these days," he warns.

I smile against his neck.

"Fine, if you really want me to stop." I sigh dramatically.

He pulls back and looks directly into my eyes. "No, but what I really want to do is roll you over, rip your clothes off, and fuck you until the sun comes up, but I'm afraid we'll freeze to death before morning."

"Edward," I say and it sounds way more like an invitation than it's supposed to.

"I want you, Bella. So much. All the fucking time, you know? It drives me crazy." He groans and this time it's him that presses his nose against my shoulder. "Mom and Dad are going out of town in two weeks. They're spending the weekend in Seattle. Spend it with me?" I gasp and immediately my stomach is fluttering because holy hell … two whole days with Edward? He keeps going, like I need convincing. "I wanna know what it's like to have you in my bed, wake up next to you. It'll be just me and you. We can tell everyone we're going with them, whatever, I don't care. I just want you, no interruptions, no one bothering us, just me and you for two days. Please say yes."

I don't even have to think. "Yes."

"No shit? Just like that?" he asks.

I giggle a little bit and pull him closer to me. "Of course just like that. What? You don't think I want you, want to be with you, just as much? I want it, Edward. All of it, all of you."

"Jesus." He sighs, and then his mouth is on mine. We kiss for a few minutes, a promise of what's to come. "I can't wait to make to love to you, but it's not just that. You know that right?" I nod and he smiles, slow and sexy. "Granted, I can't fucking wait for it, but I really can't wait to fall asleep with you next to me and know you're going to be there when I wake up."

"I think about that all the time; what it'll be like after graduation and we can be together all the time."

He squeezes his arms around me and rests his chin on top of my head. "We're going to have the best life, Bella. I promise."

"I know," because there's nothing I've ever been more sure of than that.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~~**

**So, dinner wasn't so bad, huh? There's a Phil/Edward outtake of their talk outside in the works, I'll have done soon. I love Phil, just saying. And our two kids, they seem to be handling things okay, don't ya think? So far, so good. We'll see if that stays true over the next little bit. **

**We're on the downhill slide here people. I'm thinking about 5 more chapters 'til this one's where it needs to be to let them go. I hope you'll stay with me until the end (and yes for your pervs out there, the first time sexing is right around the corner, one issue to deal with before that, though!) **

**Thanks for not giving up on me. I hope the rest of the story gives you all what you want! **

**See you guys soon. Let me know what you thought of this one, okay? I've missed hearing from you. **

**Erin~ **


	20. Broken Up Beats

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own the plot. **

**So, we're here again and this one we've been building up to for quite some time. Tissues might be needed, big girl panties, too. **

**See ya at the bottom. Thanks for reading and for loving these two as much as I do. **

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**Chapter 18 - Broken Up Beats**

**EPOV**

"Yo, dude." I whip my head around, startled, my heart slamming against my chest. Jasper's eyes widen and he takes a step back like I might start swinging at him. "Whoa, what the hell, Edward? I've been calling your name for like five minutes."

I close my eyes and try to ignore the warning bells clanging in the back of my mind. Something's wrong with Bella; I can feel it. I blow out an icy breath, pissed and cold and wanting to be anywhere but standing in the middle of a soccer field three hours away from her, freezing my balls off.

_Think about next weekend. Think about next weekend. Think about next weekend,_ I chant over and over in my head.

It helps, but that foreboding feeling still lingers. I ignore Jasper for a few minutes and stretch, concentrating on getting loose and the game, instead of the fact that I can see my own breath because it's so damn cold. _Ahh, soccer in December. Joy._ I tug on my knit hat and flex my glove-covered fingers. The tip of my nose is probably red, my ears, too, I bet, and we've only been out of the car twenty minutes.

It's going to be a long ass day.

"Spill it. What's going on? You already thinking about next weekend?" Jasper waggles his eyebrows as he pulls his gloves on.

I can't stop the grin that spreads, but it's short-lived. "Nah, man, not really. It's just Bella. I have a feeling something's wrong and I can't shake it."

"You two are fine, right?" I roll my eyes because of course we are.

"It's nothing like that. It's her mom. I didn't get to talk to her much last night and then we had to leave so early this morning so I haven't heard from her yet, but I know she was worried about Renée. She had a fever and Bella wanted to talk to Dad. She was so distracted by the time I got back on the phone with her, she barely said more than a few words."

I lose my train of thought for a minute while my mind wanders and then I focus again on Jasper, who's waiting patiently for me to keep going. Our teammates are warming up around us. Emmett's in the goal with the assistant coach kicking ball after ball after ball at him and normally my blood would be singing, my body primed and ready to play, but right now, the only thing I want to do is go home. "I just don't know how Bella will handle it if anything happens to her mom. I should be there with her, not here."

Frustrated, I hop up and look around for something, anything to help me get rid of some of the tension. Nothing. I clench my fingers, making fists, which isn't anywhere near satisfying enough because I have gloves on; I can't get them to close tight enough. I groan. I take a few deep breaths because really, right this second, I feel like I could scream, and then in the next second, I unclench my fingers and roll my shoulders. I'm acting like an idiot.

"Hey," Jasper says quietly as he stands next to me. "She'll be okay, and if she needs you, she'll call. If anything's going on with her mom, you know your dad will be there with her, too."

I nod. "I just came to the same conclusion."

He slaps me on the back, not that I can really feel it considering I'm wearing three layers of clothing just to keep from freezing to death. Thirty-five degrees might not seem that bad, but it's the asscrack of dawn, it's damp, and it's fucking cold - I don't care what anyone says. The schools in California are looking better and better all the time.

"Your girl's strong. She's not the same girl you told me about over the summer, not even the same one I met a few months ago. Trust her to let you know if she needs you." The look on my face makes him laugh and then he shrugs his shoulders. "What? Just because I'm not as close to Bella as Emmett is, doesn't mean I don't pay attention or care about what happens to her."

"I know," I tell him because I do know. That's just the way he is. "And you're right. She's so much stronger than before. She'll handle whatever it is, and if she can't, well, then I'll just make damned sure I'm there." A deep breath and I focus on what I need to do. "Let's do this shit and kick some ass. I hate playing this fucking team."

He laughs and agrees with me. "Bunch of whiny pussies. Remember last time we played them and the forward tried to do that lame ass bicycle kick and wound up flat on his back? Funniest shit ever, man."

Nerves finally settle and I shake off the worry about Bella and Renée. It's not like it'll go away, but I have two games to play and I can't let my team down by losing focus. Standing up straight, I put my game face on and take a deep breath, hold it until it burns, then let it out, relishing the adrenaline flowing through my veins.

"That's the Edward I know and love." Jasper grins as we walk to the bench for the same pep talk Coach gives us before every game.

Once the whistle blows and my legs start moving, everything fades away but the way it feels to be on the field. Muscles flex and stretch as I run. Pushing, maneuvering, shooting, the game, right here, right now, is all I can think about. Working the ball with Jasper, executing the perfect play, it's everything. The game ebbs and flows in a flurry of shouts and elbows and by the end we win, of course, and I revel in the high.

"Awesome game, my man." Emmett grunts as he plops down beside me on the bench. His jersey's a mess, his face, too, but he's got a smile a mile wide despite looking like he's been rolling around in the mud … which I guess he has.

"Any word?" Jasper asks as he sits on the other side of me and I shake my head. I checked my phone as soon as I walked off the field. "Not even a text," I tell him and sigh. "I wish she'd just let me know everything is okay."

"What? What's going on? Is Bella okay?" Emmett asks and the smile that was just there is gone, just like that.

I shrug. "No idea. I haven't talked to her today. She was worried about Renée last night and spoke to my dad. I just have a really bad feeling is all."

"Well, fuck." Emmett huffs and I nod.

"Exactly," I agree.

"Let me know when you hear from her, okay?"

"Yep." He'll worry every bit as much as me all day until we hear something. I know him. Under all that muscle is a heart of gold and he loves Bella.

We don't have time to dwell though, so after shooting off yet another text to Bella, we meet up with the rest of the team to check into the hotel and change before the next game. I get sad for a minute as I listen to the guys laugh and joke around as we walk toward the parking lot. This has been my life for the past few years, playing on the weekends, spending the night in the same hotel, going to the same few restaurants to eat, hanging out in our rooms at night. I'm going to miss it. The tournament this weekend is one of the last few we'll play together as a team. There will be two or three in the spring, and then, this will all be nothing but memories - good ones; ones I'll never forget.

Even with the nagging suspicion that all is not well at home, the rest of the day goes by quickly. The second game is harder than the first and by the time we're back at the hotel to change for dinner, I'm sore as hell and tired, so tired. I check my phone after a quick shower and finally there's a message from Bella. It doesn't make me feel any better; if anything, it only makes things worse.

_Bad day. I'll talk to you later._

That's it. No I love you, not even an X or an O.

Shit.

I don't even bother to text her back, I call instead. Voicemail. God damn it. I call Dad, thinking if it's Renée, he'll know what's going on. His goes to voicemail, too. Mom doesn't answer hers either and I don't know Phil's number or else I'd call him. I know Rose hasn't heard from Bella because she'd have told Emmett and he'd tell me before they even hung up.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Anxious, I pace, clutching the phone in my hand. The sense that something's wrong is so fucking strong. I can feel it seep into my bones, and it sucks being so far away, reinforcing every reason I have for wanting Bella to come with me after graduation. It's not so much that I don't think she's capable of being on her own or without me, because of course she can; it's more about me than anything. I know this. I want to be there for her, beside her, helping her if she needs me, encouraging when she's scared, and the one who's front and center whenever she does something that merits celebrating. And selfishly, when I play, wherever it is, I want her in the stands, cheering for me. Even though we haven't spent the night together, and holy hell I can't wait for next weekend, I already know it's what I want every single night. She's what I want.

"Ed ..." Jasper says, but then stops when he sees me pacing, still in just my towel. "What happened?"

"I still don't fucking know. Bella finally sent a text but all she said was that she was having a bad day. I've tried getting in touch with Dad and Mom, but they're not answering their phones. I don't know how to get in touch with Phil or Maggie and I know Rose hasn't talked to her or else Em would have said something. She won't answer her phone or my texts and I'm about to go out of my fucking mind. This isn't like her, Jas, not at all."

He runs a hand through his hair, then shoves his hands in his pockets. A beat, then, "No, it's really not." We stare at each other, saying nothing, until he clears his throat. "I know this sucks but there's nothing we can do about it now. Let's just meet everyone in the lobby and go eat. Maybe by the time dinner's done Bella will call back or you'll hear from your parents."

As much as I am not in the mood to be around everyone else, I'm starving and I know that sitting around the room, worrying, isn't going to do anything but give me a headache, so I nod, grab my clothes, then get dressed in the bathroom.

Dinner's decent. It's not where I want to be, or what I want to be doing, but listening to the guys cut up and try to out-gross each other is always entertaining. You'd think Emmett would run out of ways to burp and fart and generally be disgusting, but he really hasn't. Sitting around the table, I watch Emmett, he watches Jasper who in turn watches me in some weird, but strangely normal, merry-go-round of glances. It kinda makes me want to laugh at how ridiculous we must look, but instead, it's comforting to know they have my back … like always.

I check my phone every few minutes, so much so that Marcus quips, "Cullen's either in trouble with his girl or she's sending him dirty pictures because I swear he's checked his phone about fifty times since we sat down."

Everyone at the table laughs and even though I don't much feel like going along with the teasing, I do, because these are my friends and my shit's … well, mine. "Dude, you're just pissed I have a girl, don't even lie." To my ears my voice sounds flat, even though I try not to let it, but everyone laughs, so I guess no one noticed.

Except Coach.

He doesn't say anything out loud, merely raises an eyebrow and I give what I hope is at least a semblance of a smile and nod, before turning my attention to my food.

The walk back to the hotel is boisterous and rowdy, like it always is when a bunch of eighteen-year-olds guys are together and we spill into the hotel, causing everyone in the lobby to look in our direction. We're waiting for the elevators, when finally, fucking finally, a phone call from Dad.

"What's going on? Tell me," I demand without even saying hello but it's the too-long pause, followed by the sigh … the doctor one that turns my blood turn to ice.

"It's bad," I choke, knowing the answer before he can even tell me.

"Son," he says, then he clears his throat. A bad sign - a really fucking bad one.

"Just tell me."

"Renée spiked a fever and was having some complications, but we've gotten it under control," he begins slowly, but it's his voice, the way he's trying to speak calmly that has me about two seconds from pulling my hair right the fuck out of my head.

"Dad," I say through gritted teeth.

Another sigh, and this one makes me fall into the closest chair and close my eyes. "Bella's not handling things very well."

My heart stops and I'm up on my feet, the relief that Renée is okay gone.

"What? What do you mean? What's wrong? Why hasn't she called me?" I fire questions at him one right after the other, each one making my voice raise higher and higher, so much so that Jasper's got one hand one shoulder and Emmett's is on the other, holding me in place.

"Edward, son, calm down. I know this is hard but getting yourself upset and worked up isn't going to help anyone, least of all Bella."

I want to yell at him, but I know he's right so I concentrate on taking a few deep breaths so I can find out what the fuck is going on. "All right, I'm listening."

"Bella called me early this morning, right after you boys left, to say that Renée had a slight fever and was very pale. I went by the house to check on her and discovered that she was correct and there was a slight build-up of fluid in her lungs … the early stages of pneumonia most likely, which I'm sure you know can be quite serious for someone in Renée's condition. Bella was right to be worried, but I started her on an IV and Renée's fever hasn't gotten any higher so I'm fairly confident we've caught this before it can get any worse."

He sounds tired and worried, and I know that's the Dad in him slipping out, not the doctor.

"Well," I begin slowly, and squeeze my eyes closed. "It could have been worse," I cringe, whispering the last part.

God, just saying that out loud makes me feel like a gigantic asshole, but fucking hell. The thought of Bella upset is killing me, especially when she's all alone.

"Yes, it could have, quite easily, too, and it's been quite a wake-up call for Bella I'm afraid. Renée's condition has been so stable that it's been easy to cling to the hope that she could wake up, but this is the first real complication Renée's had and Bella was not prepared."

"Motherfucker," I mutter, not even caring that I just said that to my dad.

There's another pause and my skin prickles and a shiver walks down my back. "Dad, tell me. What else?"

He blows out a breath and I can just see him rolling his eyes and staring at the ceiling like he always does before he's about to say something I don't want to hear. I'd be willing to bet he's twirling a pen around in his fingers, too.

"Just tell me," I implore.

"Phil called," he says then stops for a moment, and simply says, "it didn't go well."

"Define not well," I demand, stomping back and forth in the entry. My mind's already working, planning, trying to figure out how the hell I can get back to Forks.

"There was a lot of yelling and crying on Bella's end. And then she was quiet, and now she's outside, and she's been there for hours with the door locked. Maggie says there's a key, but I don't feel comfortable barging in there when she's upset and clearly wants to be alone." Then quietly he says, "She needs you, son."

I freeze in place as if my feet have been covered in cement. Every ounce of breath leaves my body in one painful gush and my chest feels like it's caving in. Struggling to breathe and fighting wave after wave of pure, unadulterated anguish at the fact that I'm not there, I try to focus on Bella. Like a slideshow, images of her flash in my mind … her crying, needing me, and feeling all alone because I'm not there.

God damn it. I knew it. I felt it. I knew something was wrong, yet I left anyway. Motherfucker.

Throat raw, eyes burning, I force it all down, bury it for the time being. The only thing that is important right now is getting home, getting to Bella.

"Dad, I didn't drive. I guess I can try to find a place to rent a car or something, but it'll take time." Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Mind racing a mile a minute, I am already trying to calculate how long it will take me to get to a rental car place, fill out the paperwork, and get on the road. Hours. Four at the least until I can get to Forks. Shit.

I'm so close, so fucking close to losing it right here in the lobby until I feel keys pressed into my palm.

Emmett.

"Take the truck. I'll have Rose or my mom come get us tomorrow, or we'll have Coach bring us home. Don't worry about me and Jas. Go. Now."

"Dad, I'm on my way. Tell Bella I'm coming. I'll be there in a few hours."

I hang up after promising him I'll be careful and not speed, one he has to know I made while keeping my fingers crossed because, yeah, fuck that.

I look from Emmett to Jasper, a million things I should say, want to, _need_ to say, but all I can manage is, "Thank you."

"As if." Emmett waves my thanks away, but his eyes are glassy and I know he wants to go with me, too. "Go. I'll talk to Coach, but make sure you call him from the road and let him know what's going on and send a text when you get to Forks. We'll drop your gear off when we get home tomorrow." Jasper throws his arms around me, then Emmett does and we stand that way for a few seconds.

"You guys are the best," I whisper hoarsely, tears threatening and feeling closer to them both than I ever have in my life.

"Be careful," Jasper warns, "and give Bella our love. If you guys need anything, call. We'll be home by tomorrow afternoon."

"Tell the team …" I gulp, knowing there is nowhere on Earth I need to be more than with Bella, but still, they're my team and I hate letting them down.

A slap on the back then a slight shove from Emmett. "They'll understand, don't worry about it. Edward, go," he urges when he sees me hesitate again.

And with that, I turn and rush outside without looking back. I try not to think as I maneuver through the traffic toward Forks. There are so many thoughts bouncing around in my head it feels like it might explode. Worry for Bella is at the top, followed by being pissed she didn't call me, then guilt for being mad … and for ditching my teammates, followed by the need to just be home so I can see and hold my girl and make sure she's okay.

Mile after mile passes, no radio, no sound besides the hum of the engine and the drone of the tires as they slap against the asphalt.

My foot presses the gas pedal harder, my fingers tighten on the steering wheel and I swear I can feel Bella.

"I'm coming, baby. Hang on for me," I whisper into the night.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**BPOV**

"Bella, sweetheart," I hear after a soft knock on the door. "Edward's on his way. He'll be here as soon as he can," Carlisle tells me and I pull the wool blanket tighter around me. I open my mouth to say something back, but the words die in my throat. I want him here, I do, and I tell myself to hang on just a little longer until he can put me back together again. It's not fair, I know it's not, to need him in this way.

"Do you need anything?" he tries again and I hold my breath until I hear his footsteps crunch across the ground as he walks away, leaving me alone.

The way I'll be when Mom leaves me.

Tears come again, hot and fast, even though I don't know how it's possible I have anymore left inside of me. It feels like I haven't stopped crying for days.

I close my eyes and rest my chin on my knees, curling my fluffy-sock-covered toes over the edge of the loveseat, and wonder how in the hell everything got so bad so fast. One minute I was waking up early to send Edward a good morning/good luck text before he left for Seattle and the next I was standing beside Carlisle as he injected my mom with antibiotics to try to keep her from slipping any further. The whole morning is pretty much a blur, but the panic, the bone-crushing fear of this being the end still lingers, making it hard to breathe.

I should call Edward, send him a text at least, but my phone's in the house and I have no desire to go back in there. No, here, on the loveseat, wrapped in my dad's blanket suits me just fine. My eyes wander, everything familiar and in its place, but providing none of the comfort it usually does. Not my drums, not the car, not even the worn, somewhat scratchy blanket I huddle under.

Wrapping my arms tighter around my legs, I close my eyes, and press my forehead against my knees. Words from before flit through my mind. Hateful words. Painful words. Words unable to be taken back, even if they're somehow forgiven.

_How could you?_

_You ran away!_

_If you loved her, you'd be here!_

_My _father_ wouldn't have ..._

I curl tighter, squeeze harder, trying to make myself as small as I can like it might change things, but still the words bang around in my head.

Phil must be so angry with me, so hurt, and I wouldn't blame him a bit. God, the things I said to him.

I'm tired, so very tired, and I let myself lean against the arm of the loveseat and try not to think about the ramifications of the words hurled at the man who's done nothing but love me and treat me as his own.

_Gnawing on my bottom lip until I taste blood, I stand in the corner and watch Carlisle as he checks Mom's vitals. He murmurs quietly to both Maggie and Kate who nod every few seconds. The monitors beep intermittently, the whooshing sound of the oxygen being pumped into her body makes her chest rise and fall, rise and fall. She's pale, so pale, ghostly white and the inky blue of her veins beneath her translucent skin looks like some sort of grotesque abstract art, blue lines dripping down white canvas. Lying prone, and so very still, eyes closed like always. _All she's missing is the fancy dress and the coffin_. The thought slams into me and I swallow a sob and some weird sort of cough/choke sound bubbles up my throat._

Oh. God.

_I close my eyes, and push back the image of seeing Mom laid out on her deathbed and try to take a few deep breaths. It hurts. It hurts so much. Every part of me aches and I hate it. Carlisle's only been here a few hours but it feels like days, weeks. Every fear, every worst case scenario I've lived over and over again in my head, a hundred times, a thousand, just since this morning. I thought I was close to being ready to say goodbye, to let Mom go, but I'm not. Not like this, not now._

_"Bella, sweetheart, why don't you go sit down in the living room? I'll come get you when I'm done in here. There's nothing really to do now but wait. Everything's stabilizing so I think we've dodged a bullet. You look like you're about to collapse. Go drink some juice or something and then you can come sit with Renée if you'd like."_

_I blink at Carlisle and I wait so long to reply back to him, he's tipped his head and starts to walk forward, worry written plain as day all over his handsome face._

I want Edward.

_The thought comes unbidden, but as it spreads through me, I know it's nothing but the truth. He'd hold me, whisper in my ear that everything will be okay, and make it all better._

_Even as I stand in my mom's sick room, because let's be honest and call it what it truly is, breaking apart on the inside, I'm still selfish enough to want Edward with me._

_"You should call him," Carlisle says softly, knowing exactly what I'm thinking in that crazy, Carlisle Cullen way where he sees way more than a normal person. Always. _

_I nod, knowing that as much as I want to talk to him, as much as I need to hear his voice … I won't call. _

_Turning, I hide in the kitchen. The warmth of the room, all the hints of red and green and white, Santas and snowmen and angels and reindeer spread throughout the house, and I'm cold. And tired. And God, so damn scared. Angry. It's there, simmering below the surface. I can feel it. _

_I fucking hate it. _

_Carlisle comes out a few minutes later, giving me an update. The words wash over me, in one ear and out the other. There should be relief that as these things go, it was minor. A slight fever, a little bit of fluid, and soon things will be back to normal. Whatever the hell that is. _

_The phone rings but I make no move to answer it. Carlisle raises his eyebrows and I nod. I don't much care who is on the other end anyway and I certainly don't feel like talking to anyone. Not even Edward and that realization makes me wrap my arms tighter around stomach. God, I'm such a bitch sometimes. _

_"Bella, it's Phil. He'd like to talk to you," Carlisle says hesitantly, like he's not sure whether or not I'll snap. _

_I take the phone from him, tentacles of anger and fear wind and slither around inside of me. It's hard to breathe, my skin feels tight, too small for my body and my pulse thunders in my ears. It's been so easy to pretend that Mom will get better if I keep hoping enough, praying hard enough. If I keep talking to her, that somehow, someway she can hear me. _

_Lies … I've only been lying to myself all this time and I feel lost and confused. _

_As if I'm having some sort of out-of-body experience, I watch myself take the phone from Carlisle. I lift it to my ear and wait and then listen as Phil begins to speak. I don't catch much of what he says at first, my mind still too scattered to pay attention, but it's when he says, "Bella, honey, we really need to talk about and have a plan in place for when something like this happens again." _

_Not if … when. _

_He's already given up; he did a long time ago. And suddenly, I just can't take it anymore. All the pressure, all the bitterness, the guilt, the fear … the anger just bubbles up and up and up until it just explodes in a torrent of words I can't stop, even if I try. _

_"When? When? Don't you mean if? Oh, wait," I scoff, bile burning my throat, "that's right, you left her and gave up a long time ago. You left me here to watch her die."_

_I hear him suck in a breath. "Bella … you know I love you both. I know-"_

_I cut him off, ignoring the shards of hurt and loss that feel like I'm being skinned alive. "You don't know anything! You got her a nurse and hid her away and left me here while you went gallivanting all over the country acting like someone you're supposed to love isn't lying in a bed wasting away a little at a time. You haven't been here to watch her get worse. You aren't here, holding her hand, trying to talk to her, and hoping and praying she can still hear you. You say you love her, but you don't love her, otherwise, you never would have left her side!"_

_"Bella, everything I've done has been for you. You asked me for more time, you said you weren't ready to let her go yet." His voice wavers. A prickle of panic, because he's right. I didn't just ask, I begged, pleaded with him. "I've tried to help you prepare yourself for this. I knew you weren't ready to face it, so I've been waiting for you," Phil tries to explain, but I'm beyond listening to reason._

_I can't. Reason means thinking and I can't do that._

_Steeling myself, I go on, using every word to inflict the most amount of pain so I'm not the only one feeling this way. "Do you just pop in every few months so you can see if she's still alive? Is that why you come to Forks? Maybe hoping that she's gone, so you don't have to deal with this anymore – deal with me?" I choke on the hateful words … and with the next, go for the jugular. "My _father_ never would have left me alone to make decisions I would never be ready to make. He loved her and would never have been able to live without her and he surely wouldn't have given up on her like you have._

_"Instead, you've left this all up to me. Me! You've made it be about me not being ready, but you've made me watch her wither away. You didn't want to face it, so you made me do it. It was your job to take care of her and watch over her, but you ran away when it got hard!" I storm on, not giving him a chance to get a word in edgewise._

_"You left me alone, watching over her, watching her DIE. How could you do this to me, Phil? How can you leave me to make these choices? How am I supposed to be able to decide when enough is enough and tell her goodbye? I can't do it; I don't know how. She's my mom, Phil, my mom." Voice gone now, raw and bleeding._

_With tears streaming down my face and unable to catch my breath, I smash the button to cut off the call and throw the phone across the counter. I am so furious, so lost, so confused, I don't even realize I'm not alone._

_"Bella," Maggie calls softly, but I can't stand to be around her right now, or anyone else for that matter. I just need to be alone._

_I dart out of the house and into my building, the only safe refuge I have at the moment._

A jangle of keys, a wiggle of the doorknob, and then Edward fills the doorway. I fly off the sofa, the blanket pooling around my ankles as we stare at each other. My breath catches in my throat as I see him stand there, so strong, my rock, his eyes bouncing from my face to my hands clenched beside me, all the way down to my toes then back up again.

"Baby," he breathes, sagging in relief and then he holds his arms open.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

***sniff* It was bound to happen sooner or later, folks. Don't be too hard on Bella, okay, she's been holding a lot of stuff inside for a long time and it finally just exploded. I know we all love Phil, so does she, and it'll all be okay, promise. **

**And, whoo hooo, next time. Oh yeah, Edward and Bella will finally get their weekend alone. Yay! **

**Thanks for sticking with me this far, we're almost to the end. I'm super sad about that, but there are still a few things to cover before we get there, so hang in there with me! **

**See you next time (I'm trying to get the Phil/Edward outtake done, it'll be soon!) This one was sad, leave me some love …**


	21. Score

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own the plot. **

**It's been a long time, again. I'm sorry for the wait, again. **

**You guys are awesome, every single one of you, for still hanging in there with me. If I could, I'd give each of you a hug and a kiss. **

**Thanks, as always, to my girls - Laurel, Robsmyyummycabanaboy, and Bornonhalloween, and especially to J'me, Jules and Caren who did way more hand-holding than anyone should have to for this chapter. I never would have gotten this finished without you three! Love you all! **

***Oh and a very special shout-out and Happy Birthday wish to my very good friend Aleeab4u. I hope your day is every bit as spectacular and wonderful as you are my friend. I adore you more than I can say and I am truly, truly blessed to have you in my life! Lots of love to you today and every day! XO~  
**

**Now, let's see what our crazy kids are up to, shall we? **

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**Chapter 19 - Score**

**EPOV**

A buzzing sound from far away, then closer, closer until I realize it's my phone. Eyes closed, I fumble past my alarm clock, a half-full bottle of water, and the plate with chocolate chip cookie crumbs from my late night snack to find the source of the noise.

"Bella?" I ask, after I peel my eyelid off my eyeball and see her number lighting up the phone.

A sigh, then a quiet, "Sorry, I know it's late, but I can't sleep."

I blink a few times to get some moisture in my eyes and scoot up in the bed until my back is against the headboard. I fluff the pillows and wiggle to try to get comfortable. Bella giggles when I grunt because I get tangled in the sheet. Bright red numbers on my alarm clock glow one forty-five, but I don't even think about the fact that I have to be up in five hours for school. Sleep can wait, Bella can't.

"What's wrong? Everything's okay with Phil, isn't it?"

He had to leave to go back to Seattle. According to Bella he didn't want to, but he had meetings scheduled he couldn't change. Selfishly, I'm glad. I know they've needed the time to talk and get over what happened, but this weekend is ours. We need it. I need it.

She sighs, but it's not the kind that makes my dick hard. Instead, I curl my fingers around the phone, ready to listen to whatever she has to say. "Talk to me, baby."

I hear her rustle in her bed, and I try to focus on the fact that there's a reason for her call and try not to imagine what she looks like all rumpled and warm, hair tangled, cheeks pink, and dressed in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear. It works ... at least partially. I tell myself I'll see it up close and personal in less than twenty-four hours. It can't come soon enough.

"I had a bad dream," she whispers.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" I ask, wishing more than anything she was next to me so I could kiss it all away.

She waits a few seconds. I can picture her chewing on her bottom lip while she twists the sheet in her hand as she weighs the pros and cons of telling me. It's not that she tries to hide anything - she can't even if she wants to; she knows I can always tell when there's something wrong. Even through the phone.

"It was just the same stuff as always. Something happens to Mom, I'm not here, and then she's gone." Her voice is even, monotone, and that has my mind racing more than if she were crying.

She's been upset far too much lately.

I swallow, fighting the urge to placate her with things I can't promise.

"Bella." I sigh.

She scoffs and I know if she were in front of me, she'd roll her eyes, too ... hell, she probably is anyway, I can feel it. "I know, I know. I can't spend all my time worrying about what if."

I roll over and stare at the ceiling, not really seeing it. Instead, I see the way she looked when I walked into her building Saturday night and found her alone and upset ... and needing me. I know she's worried about leaving her mom for two days; she's been upset about it all week. Between the fight with Phil, spending Sunday with him because he rushed to Forks as soon as he could get away, and then school on top of our plans for this weekend, it's a wonder she even knows which way is up.

She wouldn't be my Bella if she wasn't thinking about every scenario possible.

I settle into my pillow and hold the phone close to my ear. "We don't have to do anything this weekend. You know that right?"

"Don't you want to?"

I snort and groan a little because just mentioning this weekend has me semi-hard. "You don't even have to ask. Of course I do. The chance to see you completely naked has played a starring role in my fantasies ever since I first saw you. I just don't want you to think that this weekend is only about us having sex. You've had a hell of a week, you know? I'm a guy, so I'm never going to turn down getting busy with you, but I'm not a dick either."

She huffs, annoyed, through the phone when she says, "Of course you're not a dick, Edward. I never could have made it through this week without you."

As much as the comment makes me feel like a super stud, I scoff. "Yes you could have, baby. You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for and you're way too fucking hard on yourself, too. You're allowed to be pissed and scared, Bella. The whole situation sucks."

She doesn't say anything for the longest time and I don't force her to talk, I just wait, listening to her breathe. I could listen to her do only that all night. I mean, I am her Creeper after all ... but it's the truth. Just knowing she's there makes me feel things I can't even put into words.

"Can we … ?" she begins then stops abruptly.

"Can we what? Anything. You know I'll give you or do anything you want."

My heart, my body, a head-to-toe massage, as long as we can do it naked. Hell, at this point I'd even be willing to sit through _The Notebook_, twice.

When she hums and then starts talking, barely above a whisper and in that soft, breathy voice that never fails to make my skin break out in goosebumps, I have to close my eyes. Jesus Christ, do I ever love her. "Can we not talk about Mom or Phil or school or soccer or anything else heavy this weekend? I only want to think about us. I want this weekend to be about you and me and nobody and nothing else. Please."

"Of course," I answer back, because really, I want exactly the same thing. "Two days of prime Edward and Bella time sounds pretty fucking awesome if you ask me. Anything else you want?"

"Just you," and holy hell the twisty turny thing in my stomach roars to life.

"You've got me, baby. Forever."

There's no sound for a few minutes, each of us lost in thought, and hopefully thinking about the same thing. I haven't been able to think about much else. Bella's breakdown and the aftermath has been front and center for the past few days as she's struggled to come to terms with the harsh reality of Renée's condition. Barring a miracle, the chances of Renée ever waking up are zero. Deep down I think Bella has known it all along, she'd just convinced herself that by hoping and praying and believing that somehow, someway, Renée would come back. And as awful and as hard as it was to see Bella in so much pain after she lashed out at Phil, some good did come from it. Phil is no longer letting Bella shoulder all the responsibility concerning Renée. No decisions will be made until after the holidays, Phil has promised that, assuming no unforeseen complications medical-wise that is, but after the first of the year, I don't think Renée will be with us much longer. It's not good for Bella or Phil, and as gently as I've been able to, I've told Bella I don't think it's good for Renée either. From everything Bella has told me about her mom, I can't imagine that seeing Bella hurt and struggling every day is anything she would have wanted.

My girl's the strongest person I've ever known, but she can't keep going like she has been.

I won't let her.

The episode with her mom was as big a wake-up call for me as it's been for Bella and Phil. Seeing Bella's reaction to Renée having a fever for only a day, really brought home just how hard it will be on her when the time comes and Renée is gone for good. Bella always tries so hard and so much to keep things to herself, but I hope after what happened last weekend, she'll realize that we're all going to be here for her. Not just me and Phil, but my parents and our friends, too.

"It's gonna be harder than hell keeping my hands off of you tomorrow, you know that, right?" I ask after the silence has lasted too long.

"And that's going to be different from any other day, how?" she teases right back.

We laugh and suddenly everything but just us is gone.

"I can't wait to have you all to myself," I tell her, yawning and trying not to think about the fact I have to be up in a few hours.

"I can't wait either."

She yawns and I ask, "Are you going to be able to sleep now? You need your rest for what I have planned for you, you know."

"You're such a pervy boy, all you think about is getting me naked." She giggles.

"Um, Bella, have you met me? Of course I think about getting you naked. As often as I can as a matter of fact."

We both yawn this time and she says softly, "Thanks for staying up with me. I didn't mean to wake you up."

I snort. "Whatever. You know if you need me, I'm there. Now tell me you love me so I can go to sleep and dream about you naked."

"Love you. See you in the morning."

"Love you, too, baby." There are a few beats of silence and just before she hangs up, I say, "Hey, Bella, just think, this time tomorrow night you'll be here, with me, and I can give you a good night kiss."

"Mmmm, now that's something to give me sweet dreams."

I hang up, knowing my own dreams are going to be anything but sweet.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

"You're sure you'll be okay?" Mom asks as she buttons her wool coat. Dad chuckles behind her and I shake my head. She's only asked me this question, or some variation of it, at least twenty-five times - just since I got home from school.

"Dear, we left him alone for a month over the summer; I'm pretty sure he can handle two nights. Besides," he grins as he drapes an arm over her shoulder, "there's a jacuzzi with our names on it in our very expensive hotel room in Seattle."

I groan. Oh no he didn't.

"Dad," I whine and squeeze my eyes shut to keep that image from even trying to form in my head. Dad smirks at me, like he knows what he just said has me thinking things I most definitely don't want anywhere in my head. _Think of Bella naked_ I urge myself silently and then I have a whole other problem. Fuck. I cough and try to adjust without touching my now-awake dick and when Dad catches my eye and grins, I swear he knows exactly what I just did. Knowing him, he probably does.

"Just part of life, son." He smiles and raises an eyebrow.

Mom giggles - _giggles_ - leaving absolutely no doubt about what they'll be spending some of their alone time doing and it makes me want to rip off the top of my head and dump in a gallon, or five, of bleach. It's cool my parents are so crazy about each other but still, I don't really need to know it and I sure as hell don't need to see it.

Mom steps forward, arms out, and squeezes me while she gives me a kiss on the cheek. "We'll see you Sunday afternoon, okay? There's a pot of chili in the refrigerator and cornbread muffins in a Ziploc bag on the counter. I also made a batch of brownies and there is still some chicken and dumplings leftover from dinner last night."

I resist the urge to lick my lips, because hell yeah, Mom's chili is fucking awesome, so instead I kiss her back. "Thanks, Mom. I'll take your chili over pizza any day."

"There's plenty for Jasper and Emmett, too, because I'm sure they'll be here at some point."

_Not if they want to live._

"Sure, thanks."

Dad chuckles softly and I can't even look at the man. Jesus. If he gives me the birds and bees talk, I swear I'll tell Mom about the extra big slice of chocolate cake and the glass of chocolate milk I saw him carry into his office last night after she went to bed.

"Carlisle, hand me the keys and I'll go warm up the car." She kisses me again and then she's out the door.

For a second neither my dad nor I can say anything until he quirks his mouth and gives me a hug. "I know you'll be careful with her, son. She's had an emotional week."

I gulp. It's not that I didn't think he'd know Bella was coming over, it's just I didn't really think he'd say anything, but I suppose I should have known better. This is Dad we're talking about. "Yes, sir," I answer and try not to cringe when I say it.

We lock eyes for a few moments - words aren't really necessary.

"Be safe," is all the words of advice he leaves me with. "I love you, son. Say hi to Bella for us and we'll see you Sunday, okay?"

I slap his back as he hugs me. "Love you, too, Dad. You and Mom have fun ... but not too much fun." I smirk when I step back.

"You could learn a thing or ten from your old man, kid. We'll call you when we get there."

He gives me one last look, one that says so many different things, and I'm struck silent as I realize just how much he and Mom trust me. It's kind of a shock really, and for just the briefest of seconds I wonder if I should just shelve the whole weekend but as soon as the thought comes, I dismiss it. Nothing is getting in the way of being with Bella for the next two days, and based on what Dad's just told me, he and Mom obviously trust me enough to take care of Bella and not hurt her. Not that I ever would, but knowing they understand even if I'm pretty sure they're not a hundred percent happy about the situation makes me feel better.

There are some things best left unsaid.

He smiles one last time then turns to walk away. He takes a few steps before I call out, "Hey, Dad." When he turns, I rush forward and hug him again, taking us both by surprise. "Drive carefully," I whisper.

He kisses the side of my head then walks to the car without saying another word. I stand on the porch and watch as they drive off, red taillights swallowed up by the dark. Once they're out of sight, I stand there and breathe in and out for a few minutes.

In just a few hours Bella will be here and I can't fucking wait.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

I watch the clock as I stir the chili and go over a mental list in my head.

Clean room, clean sheets, check.

iPod loaded and charged, check.

Condoms, check.

Ready to make love to my girl over and over and over again. Check, check, and triple, hell yes, check.

I have to take a few deep breaths and I wipe a sweaty palm down the front of my jeans. Glance at the clock again, groaning a little when less than two minutes have gone by, and it's still more than an hour before Bella is supposed to be here. I should probably feel bad about her lying to Maggie about where she's going this weekend, but I don't. Rose is the only one who knows - I didn't even tell Emmett or Jasper. I'm not taking the chance of anyone barging in. It would be just my luck for one of them to open their big mouths about my parents being out of town and the next thing I'd know, I'd have a house full of people. No fucking way. Bella belongs with me and I'm not going to feel bad about it either. After graduation, we won't have to worry about sneaking around or lying to anyone and that's just the way it should be.

Again, visions like ones I've had before flash in my mind. Us cooking dinner together, doing homework at the library, watching TV in bed, her wearing my t-shirt and boxers or even better than that, completely naked and wrapped around me. Early morning breakfasts before class, talking late at night after my soccer games, walks on the beach in the moonlight because there's no way I'm going to school in California - which is looking more and more likely every day - and not living by the beach.

I push the thought of college away. I promised Bella no heavy stuff this weekend, though I have to say, imagining Bella in the California sunshine, short shorts and a tight tank top, or a tiny bikini, tanned and smiling is enough to make me want to sign my letter of intent to UCLA right this second. I stir the chili again then turn it off, and wonder if I should set the table. Looking around, I start to second-guess myself. Maybe I should have bought her flowers or ordered something special for dinner? _Shit._ I start to pace, over-thinking every damned thing. I do not want this weekend to feel forced or scripted. Whatever else happens, well besides the making love part because there's no chance in hell it won't, I want to be easy and comfortable.

It's not like I know what goes on in this kind of situation seeing as how I've never been in one, and it's not something I can ask Emmett or Jasper about.

Fuck it, I decide. Bella doesn't need any of that stuff. She's Drummer Girl, I'm her Creeper, and things with us have always been no muss, no fuss, just simple and honest and that's the way this whole weekend should be, too.

And thank Christ for that. I think I used up all my good ideas for her birthday.

Feeling better, I run upstairs to change my clothes. Can't have my girl seeing me in baggy sweats and a ratty t-shirt, though it might make the taking off part a little easier. Sweats are definitely quicker to get out of than jeans, but oh well. By the time I'm dressed, after changing my shirt four times, only to wind up in the first one I put on, it's just about time for Bella to be here.

My heart starts thumping, my stomach rolling and flipping. I'm more nervous than I've ever been in my life, but then I think about being able to wake up with Bella beside me, and all the nerves fade away, leaving only the sense of excitement that I finally get to have her all to myself for two whole days. Even without the sex, this weekend's going to be one I'll never forget.

Of course when I see headlights sweep over the window and then hear a car door slam shut, the nerves are out in full force again.

I don't even wait for her to knock, I hurry to the door and open it. I wait and watch as she pulls her bag out of her car and lifts it onto her shoulder. Too late, I realize I should be carrying it for her, but I can't move. All I can do is keep my eyes glued to her as she walks toward the front steps. She must feel me watching because when she looks up, she's already smiling.

God damn, she looks good.

Tight jeans, snow white sweater that hugs her in all the right places, hair up in a high ponytail, and not one speck of makeup on her gorgeous face.

"Someone is excited to see me, curb-service and everything," she says as I finally take the bag from her. "I must be someone special," she teases with a huge, bright smile.

I wrinkle my nose and shrug. "Eh, you'll do I suppose."

"Jackass." She huffs as she bumps my hip.

"You make it so easy. Any trouble getting away from Maggie?" I ask as we walk through the front door.

She shakes her head then stops and looks around, not saying a word. "It smells good in here," she says once she turns to face me again. She glances at me for only a few seconds before she turns away, nervous and awkward.

"Hey," I say softly as I reach for her hand. "Relax, okay? I'm not gonna jump your bones right here in the entryway. Not that you don't look good enough, because, baby, you look fucking incredible, but I'll at least feed you first."

"Oh God, Edward." She giggles and that sort-of tense, slightly uncomfortable feeling that was just in the air is gone.

Thank goodness.

A few more steps in the house and then we stop again. "Do you want to eat now or wait a little bit? It's ready so whatever you want …." I trail off, and now all of a sudden I'm the one at a loss for words.

Finally we look at each other and both laugh. It's a little forced, but it feels almost natural, almost like us.

I roll my eyes; this is ridiculous. "Come on, let's go take your bag upstairs and then we can eat, maybe watch a movie afterward."

She nods, though we both know what else will be happening tonight. And with that thought, my mind starts racing ahead.

Walking up the stairs - well more accurately _dragging_ Bella - feels surreal. I know she's here and I'm taking her to my room, but Jesus. My heart's slamming inside my chest and my legs feel like rubber.

I grin when I get to my room and then squeeze her hand real quick before I open the door.

I cleaned, not that it was all that messy to begin with, but it's not like I want her seeing my dirty socks. Doesn't make for the most romantic of settings you know.

We take a few steps forward and I feel like an idiot, not knowing what to say. The truth is, I don't really. It's not like any other girl has been in here. The last time she was here, my parents were downstairs and I didn't know that at some point in the very near future, we'd be having sex.

Definitely not the same thing.

Not even close.

She walks toward my desk, looking everywhere but at me. She's nervous. She keeps opening and closing her right hand and with her other, she pushes her hair behind her ear.

"Holy shit." I chuckle nervously and run a hand through my hair. I have no doubt my cheeks are red, the tips of my ears, too, more than likely, and I'm really glad I'm wearing a navy blue t-shirt because I know I'm sweating like a mofo. "You're here, in my room," I say, and even to my own ears I sound like a fool, but I don't care.

She giggles and I drop her bag on the floor at the foot of the bed.

It looks good there, not even gonna lie.

"I've been in your room before you know."

I nod. "You have, but not like this." I swallow. My throat's dry, raw, and my tongue feels like it's grown about three sizes.

We're staring at each other and there's this hum in the air, like the low buzzing sound of a fluorescent light. Crackles and pops, the energy bouncing between us positively sizzles.

"Edward," she breathes, and that's it. It's time.

All my plans for later - out the fucking window. She's here and I want her and I don't want to wait another goddamned second to have her.

I take a step then stop. She gasps, a little squeak slips out and her eyes widen.

She knows.

She toes out of her shoes then stands up straight, waiting.

Jesus, she's so beautiful … so mine.

With a few steps from each of us, we're standing in front of each other and then it's all mouths and hands and tongues and grabbing and lifting. Sloppy kisses that make us laugh a little bit, noses that bump into each other. Forehead against forehead, she smiles, shy and kind of nervous. "This is … oh God, we're really going to do this, aren't we?"

"Hell yes we are."

Her sweater, my shirt, off. Then my arms around hers, holding her close.

"Fuck you feel good," I mumble against her mouth, licking and nibbling along her bottom lip. Hands pressed on her back, I fumble with the clasp on her bra.

She laughs softly and I pull back, tip my head, as I look at her. "I had this planned so much differently." She grins and takes a deep breath. "I even had this sexy little nightie to wear to bed tonight."

I groan, imagining what she'd look like. "You can show me later. I need you. Right now."

She nods and her fingers dig into my arm. "Later, yes, later."

"Oh, baby," I moan once her bra is off. I want to lick and suck and spend hours with my mouth just on her perfect tits. I walk us toward the bed, stumbling, touching, kissing … wanting.

I follow her down, shifting and maneuvering until she's in the center. Push my fingers into her hair, slide the elastic off, and then spread her hair out. It looks even better than I pictured.

"I've wanted this, you, right here, for so long," I whisper against her skin as I lick a trail across her collarbones.

"I've wanted it, too. I've thought about this so much, what it would be like with you." Her body moves against mine, needy, like she can't get close enough.

Her hands are everywhere, around my biceps, on my back, in my hair, on my ass. She ghosts her lips wherever she can reach - my chest, along my arm, my chin. She spreads her legs, making room, and I settle between her thighs. Even through two layers of denim I can feel how hot she is. I swivel my hips, angle my cock so it presses right against her. She thrashes her head and the groan that bubbles up from her chest makes my dick swell to the point that it hurts.

"Mmmm, that feels good." She gives me a sweet but sexy smile and I love that she can tell me and show me what she likes.

My hand glides over her stomach to the button on her jeans. Kissing her, our tongues tangled and twisted, I manage to get the button undone and the zipper down. My fingers dip inside her panties and find her clit. I circle and rub, just how she likes it.

"Yes, Edward … oh … ahhh." She bites her lip and then locks her eyes on mine. They're clear and bright and there's not even the slightest hint that she doesn't want me as much as I want her.

I rock against her hip, my cock aching.

"Touch me, Bella, come on," I urge and raise my hips so she can get at my damned jeans. I knew I should have left the sweats on. Her hands shake and she has to try a few times to get the button undone. She gives me a shy smile.

"I'm not very good at this," she says with a slight shrug of her shoulders and a roll of her eyes. Unbuttoned and unzipped finally, it takes a few tugs and grunts, and we both laugh a little when my feet get stuck as I try to wiggle out of my jeans. I definitely should have kept the sweats on.

"Fuck," I mutter and I kick my legs until my feet are free and the jeans fall to the floor. Next, hers come off and then there's only my boxers and her underwear between us.

I take a moment to drink her in then crawl over her, fingers and lips touching every place I can reach.

Skin, there's so much soft, sugar cookie-scented skin.

"Oh, yes," she almost purrs as I travel over and around all the sweet spots on her body. The hollow of her throat, the center of her chest, her shoulder, the sensitive, silky skin between her belly button and the top of her underwear.

Her fingertips run up and down my chest, then stop when she gets to the top of my boxers.

"Baby, I'm dying here. Touch me, please." I want to fuck her, but this part, the touching and kissing, feels too good to stop.

Her legs fall open more, knees bent, and my whole hand is inside her underwear. She's so slick and hot, her breath coming in choppy bursts as I continue circling her clit. Her fingers finally, finally, wrap around my cock and I sigh into her mouth. Messy kisses, all tongues and teeth, muttered curse words asking for more and a few 'fuck yeah's and we're both panting, grinding against each other.

She starts whimpering, making that one sound she always does when she's close to coming.

"More, Edward. I'm gonna come." She stretches, wanting, needing. She's so close. Chest flushed pink, beads of sweat between her tits, strands of hair stick to the side of her face, her forehead. Eyes shining, lips swollen and red … she's everything I want and so much more.

"Jesus, Bella. You're here, with me, in my bed." I buck into her hand, her strokes awkward and out of rhythm, but it still feels fucking incredible.

"Faster, please. Oh … yes, just like that." Now she finds a rhythm, matching mine, and we're both breathing hard, heavy, on the brink of coming. With a groan, because God I don't want her to stop, I shift my hips so I'm out of her reach. I'm seconds from exploding and there's no way I'm doing that before I'm inside of her.

"Hurry, baby, come, so I can have you," I prod, needing to get her ready.

A few more circles, a press of my thumb as I plunge two fingers inside of her, and she's almost there. In and out, stretching her, even though I know it won't be enough, she whimpers and moans. I swallow them as I kiss her, my tongue matching my fingers, swirling inside her mouth while my fingers work her closer and closer to coming.

"You're so fucking beautiful," I whisper, breathing against her neck.

My cock is still hard, and I grind against her. Her legs go around my waist, my mouth finds her nipple. I lick and suck, pinch. Her hands move to my face, her thumbs brush across my cheeks.

"Edward, oh God, baby. Feels so good." She lifts her head, presses her lips to mine. "I can't wait to feel you inside of me," she says as she stares into my eyes.

I groan, her words making my dick throb even more. "I want you so fucking bad." My fingers move faster, faster until she throws her head back and comes, hard.

"Yes," I say as I watch her fall apart. "Holy fuck, you look so hot when you come." She grinds against my hand, her pussy clenched around my fingers.

"Oh God, oh God," she says over and over and her body shakes every time I touch her.

I lean down to kiss her again, and pull my hand out so I can get her naked. I kneel between her thighs and drag her panties down her legs. Once I have them off, I toss them over my shoulder, unable to tear my eyes away from her.

"Bella." Her name is a whispered prayer, a plea, and suddenly, I can't even find the words to tell her how much I love her, how much she means to me. How much I want her, in all ways, forever.

I stare at her for a few moments, memorizing the way she looks right now. "I love you. So much," I tell her, too much emotion bubbling in my throat makes it almost impossible to talk.

"I love you, too. Make love to me, Edward. Please." She reaches for me. Her hands shake as she presses them to my chest, the tips of her fingers right above my heart. I feel it all the way down to the bottom of my feet and to the top of my head. Warmth and want and need and an overwhelming sense to simply have her, keep her.

I lean forward and rest most of my weight on my forearms. Stretched out over her, we're skin to skin, everywhere, for the first time. It's already almost too much and I haven't even gotten anywhere close to being inside of her yet.

"Oh … it's just ... please," Bella whispers, clutching my arms so tightly it feels like she's hanging on for dear life.

"Shhh, I've got you," I murmur and I cover her mouth with mine and kiss her. Slow and deep, even though every part of me wants fast and hard.

We kiss until I get dizzy and have to pull back to take a deep breath. I run my fingers through her hair, down the side of her face. The tips of her fingers do the same, across my forehead, over my cheeks, along my lips. So soft, featherlight, and it feels fucking amazing. Our eyes lock on each other, breaths matching, bodies primed and ready for the next step. Without a word, I reach beneath my pillow and grab a condom. She watches, eyes wide, tongue licking her lips as I put it on.

"Are you ready?"I ask, and my voice shakes. I'm not nervous, not really, but this is Bella and we're finally going to make love and it makes my head spin.

"Yes," she says, sure, and I have to kiss her again.

I lift my hips then stop right at her entrance. "Hang on to me, okay? I'll try to go slow."

"I want this, Edward, want you. It's okay, it's gonna be perfect," she says as she moves a little to get where she wants to be, needs me to be.

I lift and then let myself push inside of her, just a tiny bit. "Oh, fuck, Bella," I moan, because even barely inside of her feels fucking incredible.

Slowly, I move, pushing inside a little more with each thrust. She groans, and it doesn't sound quite like it feels all that good. I stop and look down at her. I kiss her, letting my mouth, my tongue soothe away the hurt.

"If I could make this not hurt, I would." But oh God, she feels so good around me. Hot and tight, my cock throbs inside of her. I dip my head, swipe the flat of my tongue across a hard nipple. Sucking it into my mouth, she arches her back. I slide even deeper inside of her. Almost. She's stretched so tight around me and it feels like nothing I've ever imagined.

"Me, Bella. Look at me," I pant. Our skin slick, muscles taut, it's taking all I have to keep myself from letting go and sinking fully inside of her, but I wait.

Her eyes find mine and though I can tell it hurts, she gives me a smile.

"There it is," I murmur and brush my lips across hers. "You ready? Just a little more and then I'll be all the way inside of you."

"Oh, Edward," she breathes, though it's unsteady.

"I know, baby. I know. You feel so fucking incredible." My hips move a little, slow, because I know she's hurting.

"Move, Edward. It's okay." Her voice wavers and her fingers slide up my arms, into my hair.

My arms shake and burn from holding myself up, but I can't move. All this time, all the waiting, and I don't want it to be over. I know as soon as I really start moving it won't take but a few thrusts until it's embarrassingly over.

She feels so, so good.

She wraps her arms around me, holding onto me tighter, and whispers in my ear, "Now, Edward. I'm ready."

"Jesus, Bella. I didn't know, I can't," I moan as I relax and let go, sinking deep inside of her. "Oh yessssss." I breathe deep, in and out, against her neck, afraid to move, afraid not to.

Her breath catches, a painful gasp squeaks out, and she's so still. I snap my head up and push her hair back off her forehead. Her eyes are squeezed shut, mouth in a tight, flat line, teeth firmly embedded in her bottom lip. "Bella?"

She takes a few deep breaths, her fingernails dig into my arms. I don't move. I kiss her cheeks, her eyelids, the tip of her nose. "Are you okay? Do you want me to move?"

My legs are on fire, my chest so tight I can't breathe. Sweat pours down the side of my face, my neck.

"I'm okay, it hurts a little."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I whisper over and over again, but she feels so good I can't help but lift my hips and push inside of her.

In and out, in slow strokes, I move until her grip loosens and her body melts into the bed. "Oh yes," she pants and that's when I know it's better.

I watch her face, kiss her wrist when she lifts her hand to my cheek. "Edward," she whispers, and I can't say anything, not a word. All I can do is keep moving. I don't want to ever stop. "I love you," she says softly, her eyes saying everything else she can't find words for.

Nothing has ever felt this good.

I'm close already. I want her to come first but I don't think I can wait.

"Shit, Bella, I'm gonna come. Are you close?"

Heavy breaths fill the air around us. Skin slaps against skin, soft moans from each of us as I continue to move in and out of her. Fast and then slow, my body responds to every sound she makes, every touch.

"Oh, mmmm … oh yes," Bella breathes as she arches her back and wraps her legs tighter around my waist.

My fingers grip her side, I slam my hips against hers. Frantic, faster, wanting to hold off, but unable. "Bella, fuck, I'm so close, baby."

"Do it, come, Edward."

I press my mouth to hers, my tongue sliding against her lips, dips into her mouth. "I love you," I whisper hoarsely.

Every muscle in my body tenses, and then with one final thrust, I pick up my head and watch her eyes as I come inside of her for the first time.

In that moment, as I pulse inside of her and she clamps down around me, I know I'll never, ever want anyone or anything as much as her.

Panting as I try to catch my breath, I collapse on top of her, my cock still inside of her. Her hands glide up and down my back, she kisses the side of my face, then I feel fingers run through my damp hair.

"Holy hell," I mumble against her shoulder. "That was …."

She giggles a little and it makes my cock twitch inside of her. "Yeah, it was."

I lift my head, lick up the side of her neck and then close my mouth over hers. Kissing her, I shake in her arms as the reality of what just happened settles over me.

"Are you okay? Was it good?" I ask as my hands touch her everywhere, checking for … I don't even know.

"It was perfect," she answers immediately.

I brush my lips across hers and then gently bite on the bottom one. "Liar." I chuckle. "But I promise the next time will be better."

I finally slip out of her and then roll to my side, sliding the condom off and tossing it into the trash. "Come here," I murmur and pull her to me as we settle back on the pillows.

I know we need to clean up, I know there's probably a little blood and that can't feel good, but I don't want her to move just yet.

I run my fingers through her hair, feel her heart beat against my chest. I'm sure mine's beating just as hard, as fast. "I know that probably wasn't the best, but I'll make it up to you, don't worry."

"I'm sure you will." Her voice is rough and husky and it really makes me want to roll over on top of her and make good on my word right this second.

She chuckles a little and both of us just lie there, letting the intensity of the moment fade away a bit. Another few minutes pass while we don't say anything and then her stomach rumbles. I do roll over now, and kiss her soundly on the mouth. "Let's get cleaned up, get some food in that stomach, and then well … we'll see what I can do about showing you I do know what I'm doing when it comes to having sex with you."

"Shut up, it was perfect. I promise." She smiles and lifts her head, her mouth beside my ear. "Though I definitely won't complain about doing that again and again," she licks my neck, then nips at my earlobe, "and again."

"Fuuuuuck, baby," I groan, pressing my hips to hers. She's still warm, wet, and it really would only take a few seconds for me to get hard again with how good she feels.

Her stomach grumbles again. "That's it." I laugh as I reluctantly roll off her and stand up. I slide my fingers in hers and tug, until she stands up, too. "Bathroom, then food, then more of that." I tip my chin toward the bed, the rumpled, still warm sheet and blankets making me feel hot all over.

"Christ, I just … I love you so much," I say and shake my head. I look her up and down, she still looks the same, like my Bella, but I know everything's changed now. "You're so hot," I say with a sigh because she's naked and it's true.

She dips her head and tucks her chin into her shoulder, her cheeks pink. "You just got lucky, you don't have to butter me up." She giggles when she turns to look at me after she takes a deep breath.

We stare at each other for a few seconds, and I know if we don't move, I'm dragging her gorgeous ass right back into bed.

Once we're cleaned up and she's dressed in one of my t-shirts and no panties per my request, and I'm in a pair of loose basketball shorts, commando, because the less clothes the better, we go downstairs and eat.

It's perfect. No awkwardness at all, but there is lots of quiet talking, and plenty of touching and kissing, not mouth to mouth though, because chili breath is not sexy - at all - not even on Bella.

And then, after dessert and a movie and brushed teeth, we slip beneath the sheet and blankets and I cover her body with mine. "More, Bella. Let me make love to you again. I'll make you feel so good," I whisper against her lips.

We do, and it is better this time. And when she comes, a long time later, shuddering beneath me, I follow right behind, knowing I'll never get enough of her.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

Tree branches scratching against the side of the house as they are buffeted by the wind wake me up. I'm warm, almost hot, and I realize it's because I have long, silky brown hair draped over my bare chest, a soft, smooth leg laid over my thigh, knee in the perfect spot to cause all kinds of problems - both good and bad - and lips that every so often brush against my side. I lift the blankets and look, admire, burn the vision of her perfect ass, her sexy legs, her gorgeous face onto my brain.

Bella. Is. Naked. In. My. Bed.

_Holy shit._

I almost laugh out loud. I do make this crazy weird combination snort-sigh sound that makes her cuddle closer. She lets out this adorable breathy sigh when I run my finger up and down her back and I watch and wait as she settles back to sleep. Mind reeling, body sore in all the right places, I relax back into my pillow. In other words, I'm as comfortable as can be and have no intention, no desire to ever, ever, move.

Why the hell would I want to?

A few more minutes pass and I spend them touching her, listening to her breathe, and telling myself over and over again that it's too soon to wake her up again. Not that I don't want to, because hello? Bella is naked in my bed, but I know she has to be sore and I'm not that much of a greedy bastard to push for a third time. Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I am, but I can wait. Bella will need a nice, long, hot and steamy shower and considering some of my very favorite times imagining what finally having sex with her would be like, it seems rather fitting that the next time I have her is in the shower. Talk about dreams coming true.

I drop a kiss on the top of her head, run my fingers through her hair, and smile in complete and utter contentment. The wind continues to whistle through the trees, and I watch as the moonlight casts shadows along the floor and up the walls. Every now and then the light will shine just right and make Bella's skin practically glow. She's so beautiful. Having her next to me in my bed is a hundred, a thousand times better than I even imagined. I shift a little beside her so that I can look at her face. The urge to kiss every inch of her is so strong. I can't help but nuzzle my nose along her jaw, her cheek and then to that one spot that always smells so fucking good right behind her ear. She sighs and when I pull back, there's the sweetest smile on her face. I want to wake up to that smile, right there, every day for the rest of my life.

I groan quietly, not that I don't mean it, because holy hell I've never meant anything more, but instantly I get my dad, Jasper and Emmett, too, in a way I never have before. The way they feel about Mom, Alice, and Rose, I understand every sappy word they've ever said, every time either Jasper or Emmett has blown me off to spend time with Ali and Rose. I even get the way I find my dad just watching, smiling at Mom, even when she does the simplest things. It's about being complete, having that one person to love that makes you feel like no matter what happens, they will always be by your side.

Reaching across Bella, I grab her notebook and a pen, needing to write, to tell her what I'm feeling right at this moment.

My pen scratches across the paper. Bella's soft breaths, the nighttime sounds of the house that I never pay attention to but now, somehow, I can hear every one as I write, fills the air. Words pour out, and I let them. I have no idea if I'm making any sense, it doesn't really matter if I am or not, Bella will understand what I'm trying to say. I fill the page. Words that used to scare me like love and forever and heart and need and again and everything are repeated more than a few times. There are a few fucks thrown in there, too, because well, I'm me and I can't help it.

Some time later warm, soft fingertips ghost over my knee.

"Hey." Her voice is thick with sleep, her hair tangled both from my fingers and the fact that she's a wiggler in bed. There's a wrinkle on her cheek from her pillow, her lips are swollen from my kisses, and she's never looked sexier.

I brush the back of my fingers down the side of her face and lean to kiss her because she's right here and I can.

"What are you doing?"

I tap the pen against the page and then close the notebook. "Talking to you," I tell her with a shrug.

"Edward." She sighs. I toss the notebook and pen back on the desk. She can read it later, hopefully without me anywhere around. I mean, I don't get embarrassed telling her anything, but still, I'm a guy - there's only so much sap I can stomach, even when it's my own.

I lay back down on my pillow and we're nose to nose.

She swallows then licks her lips. I want to lick her. Again. Everywhere.

"Did we really?"

I grin and nod. Totally pleased with myself because holy shit it was fucking incredible. I can't wait to do it again. "Yep. Twice."

She giggles.

I love that sound.

I love her more.

"Wow," she whispers, breathless and raspy and it makes my dick hard.

I reach for her and slide my leg between hers. Hand on her ass, the other buried in her hair. "You can say that again. Are you okay? Sore?"

Her cheeks flush pink and she dips her head beneath my chin. Fucking adorable as shit. I squeeze her ass and run my nose along her neck. She smells so good. Like peppermint and sugar cookies and sweat ... and me.

"I'm perfect, never been better," she whispers then kisses my chest.

We settle back into the pillows, completely wrapped around each other. "Fall asleep with me, Edward, just like this," she murmurs softly, sleepily, and I kiss the top of her head.

"I can't think of anything better," I tell her and then shake my head when she laughs at me. "Fine, I can think of a few things, like time number three in the shower, but holding you while we sleep is pretty fucking awesome, too."

"Mmmmm, shower huh? I think that can be arranged." Her words are slow and garbled, she's barely awake.

"Sleep, baby." I kiss her temple, then her cheek.

"I love you," she says so softly I can barely hear her. "Forever."

I pull her closer, and whisper in her ear, "You bet your sweet ass forever. I'm never letting you go."

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**So, that is that. They finally did it … twice! I hope it was worth the wait! These two, I swear, they make me smile and heart full of all kinds of love. We're almost to the end people, just a few chapters left. **

**In case you didn't hear or haven't been by the FB page lately, I'm writing something special - The Letter: A Peyton Outtake from _The Breakers_ for Stand Up For Katalina. For all the information on donating to this awesome cause and to find out what and who it's all about, check it out here: **

**katalina . fandomcause . info / about /**

**Most of your favorite authors are contributing and I have to say, it's an honor and a privilege to take part in something so special for one of our own. **

**Okay, leave me some love for the lovin' you guys got this time, okay? The last few weeks have been a bit much and I miss you all! **

**See you soon! (a week, two tops, fingers crossed!) **


	22. The Perch

**Disclaimer: SM owns the character, but I own Creeper and his Drummer Girl. **

**I didn't think we'd make it, but here we are … the last chapter. I'm not going to say anything but thank you. For everything. **

**See you at the bottom, I'll be waiting. **

**Becky, thank you. You know why.  
**

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~  
**

**Chapter 20 - The Perch**

**BPOV**

"She would have loved this," Phil says softly as he lays an arm over my shoulder. His arm is heavy, sturdy, and right now so very needed.

I blink back hot tears, but they fall anyway. It feels like they've been falling forever, but I nod despite the fact that I want to throw myself down on the ground and curl into a little ball.

"She would," I whisper hoarsely.

I don't even know how the words can come out, my throat is so raw, like it's been rubbed with sandpaper. My head hurts, my fingers throb from keeping them curled and clenched for so long - my heart aches.

She's gone.

I take a shuddering breath and Phil squeezes me tighter. I rest my head on his shoulder and we stand there silently, each lost in thought, as we stare out across the Arizona desert. We've been in Phoenix for two days and today we said the final goodbye to Mom. The ceremony was simple, just like she wanted. A few close friends, her family, wishes to rest in peace, and then her ashes scattered in the wind.

Without meaning to, or really wanting to, I smile, and then a quiet laugh slips through my lips. "Could she have planned this any better?" I ask and then shake my head.

Phil chuckles beside me, kisses the side of my head. He leaves his mouth there, and I close my eyes. "You know your mom, always so sure that things happen for a reason," he says after a breath. There's a slight, quiet laugh from him as well. Neither of us really wanting to smile, but the memory of Mom, the pull of her spirit, make it impossible not to.

"Yeah," I say with a sigh.

I have to admit, everything turned out pretty perfect. I mean, if you're going to die and ask that your ashes be spread, you couldn't really pick a better place and time than Arizona at the end of February. Sunny and clear, a brilliant cobalt blue sky full of fluffy white puffs of cotton clouds, the temperature a pleasant seventy degrees and it's like Mom hand-picked the perfect day. Knowing her, she probably did. The woman didn't think about things like medical power of attorney, but her funeral, yeah, she had that planned out to a tee. Go figure.

Even her passing away happened like it'd been scripted for a movie.

Once the new year started, Phil spent a lot more time in Forks. It was as if he were preparing me for the end, and I guess in a way he was. We had dinner together almost every night along with Maggie and Edward. More often than not, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and Rose would join us as well. When we were really lucky, Carlisle and Esme would come, too. A house full of laughter and people, it was everything I'd always wanted. Esme and Maggie would flit around the kitchen, Phil would hold court for the guys, and Rose, Alice, and I would watch and laugh, occasionally throwing in a comment or two just to mix things up.

It was comfortable and easy … it made me feel like we were all a family.

Each day that passed, with every bump of a hip while Phil and I did the dishes after dinner, and every joke about Phil's horrid taste in television programs - I mean really, how many shows about tow trucks and pawn shops can one man watch - has brought us closer together. Some nights it would be just the two of us, sitting on the sofa, talking - really talking. We talked about Mom and our time in Phoenix. We talked about Edward and about the future. And every day brought me closer to being able to say goodbye to Mom.

There wasn't any one thing. No dream at night where she talked to me, no great epiphany where all of a sudden I knew everything was going to be all right, not even one of those Lifetime moments where time stands still, the clouds part and the sun shines down, and all the answers become clear. No, instead, it was a slow but steady calm that spread through the house, through Phil, and through me until one night, in the wee hours of the morning, the hours that I used to spend outside trying to escape the guilt and the anger and the fear, Mom spared us all and slipped quietly from the here to the someplace else.

It was beautiful in its simplicity.

Peaceful, silent, and without a big fuss … and she was gone.

Within minutes, the house was full. Edward and his parents, our friends, the paramedics that arrived to take Mom away - there was a flurry of activity, showing that even in death, life goes on. Edward worried, Esme fussed, and Carlisle watched over us all, but really, he didn't need to.

It hurt. It was the hardest thing I've ever done to kiss Mom one last time knowing I'd never hold her hand again or be able to lay my head on her chest, but it was time. With Edward on one side of me and Phil on the other, I watched Mom be wheeled away from a house she never saw, never made her own, and one that I wasn't sure I would ever, truly, be able to call home.

At this point, I'm not even sure where home is anymore.

Before that thought has too much time to burrow, I feel, before I see, Edward approach.

"I'll go talk with Carlisle and Esme for a bit," Phil says softly as Edward slides his fingers between mine. Strong and tender, he hasn't been far from my side since it happened. "Love you, sweetheart." Phil kisses my cheek, pats Edward on the shoulder as he walks by, leaving me and Edward alone.

There hasn't been much time for that over the past few days.

I know behind us Maggie is here. Emmett, Jasper, Rose, and Alice, too. Our old neighbor, Mrs. Hinojosa, a few of the wives and players that Mom and Phil were close to from when we lived here. I wonder if I should be sad that there are so few people. I think maybe I should, but my dad and I were my mom's whole life, and then it was me and Phil and I know that's what made her happiest, so instead of being upset, I smile. I was so very lucky. All the love she had to give and it was focused on me. How can I be sad about that?

Phil doesn't often flaunt or use his money to his advantage, but in this case, he went all out. Before I knew it, he'd chartered a private plane to bring all of us to Phoenix, booked suites for us to stay in while we're here, contacted the funeral home and took care of the practical details that I tried not to and didn't want to think about, and in general, was just all-around amazing. From the way he took charge and got everything arranged so quickly and easily, I know he's had a plan in place for some time.

Just another reason why I love him so much.

"It's really something," Edward whispers in my ear as he moves me in front of him. "I can see why you love the desert so much and why your mom wanted this to be her goodbye."

His arms wrap around me and I lean back against him, knowing that he'll hold me up even if it feels like I'll fall. He's been my strength and support, my rock, for days … and really ever since the very beginning.

"I love it here. Mom did, too. She didn't come camping with me and Dad very often, but when she did, we always had the best time," I tell him and take a deep breath at the instant tug in my stomach those memories cause. "I miss her." Tears burn in the corner of my eyes again and my throat tightens. I swallow past the bubble of emotion and take a moment to try to relax against Edward. I really don't feel like crying anymore.

He kisses the side of my neck, his breath warm, his lips soft, and says, "I know."

Neither of say anything for a few minutes. The sun continues to shine, the breeze carries just the slightest bit of cool, and the horizon seems to stretch on and on and on. Not everyone loves the desert. It surprises me that Edward does. He's lived with lush, wet, and green everywhere he looks his whole life; the Arizona desert must seem like another planet to him. Dry and brown, dotted with scrub brush and cactus, hardly any color anywhere to be found, but still, I love it. Not that I don't love the soaring trees and the dense forests of Forks, because I do, but here in the desert, there is beauty, too.

"Tell me something, a story, about coming here with your mom and dad," he whispers against my cheek. He trails kisses up and down, light and gentle, but filled with so much love. "I have a hard time picturing you in this place. Help me see."

My breath catches, my heart swells, then stops, then fills so much it might just keep going out of my chest and up to the sky. For so long I've kept every happy memory, every good thought, locked in a box inside of me, too afraid to open it, almost as if sharing my past, the memories I have of my parents would somehow take them away from me. I've known all along that's not how it works, but letting go, letting Edward all the way in, has always seemed like such a huge step. Standing here together, right now, I can't remember why it felt like it would be so hard. I should have known it would be as easy as everything else has been.

I pull his arms tighter around me and weave my fingers with his. I stare at our joined hands, two big enough to carry so much all the time, the other two wishing for nothing more than to stay entwined forever. I lift our right hands and kiss the back of his once, twice, then a third time. I wish, not for the first time, that I was as good with words as Edward. So many things I want to be able to voice so that he truly understands how profoundly he's changed my life … changed me. Big ways and small ways, sometimes in ways I don't even realize until it hits me. So I think for a moment, going back in time in my mind, to find something I can share to show him the Bella I used to be … and maybe still am but have just forgot about for a little while.

"Okay, well, this isn't about the desert, but it pretty much personifies Mom and Dad," I begin and I have to squeeze Edward's fingers to keep myself from falling apart as the memory from that time starts to bloom clearer and clearer in my mind. "I was almost eight, it was the summer, and we'd just moved into the new house. Dad had been promoted and Mom wanted a house with a bigger yard; she said she needed the space for her workshop." I have to stop for a moment. Remembering Mom as she bounced from new project to new project, never truly finishing one before a new whim would catch her fancy and she'd be off in another direction makes it so I can't speak, the picture of her so vivid in my mind.

When I start again, my voice is lighter, my heart more at peace. "Anyway, they found one they could agree on, which actually meant Mom found exactly what she wanted and Dad gave it to her because that's what he did. At the time, I didn't realize how gorgeous it was, but picturing it now, it was such a great house. Two stories, with a wide front porch. Plants everywhere in pots and baskets. There were so many windows. My dad tried to tell her they'd be a pain to keep clean, that dust would get in the house, but she just waved him off. She loved the natural light."

I get lost in my head for a moment, swept away by the pictures of Mom and Dad moving furniture, arguing about where to put the couch, the television. I can almost smell the sugar cookies Mom used to bake in the wide open kitchen as the ever-present Arizona sunlight streamed through the windows. I can hear my dad laugh as he moved the Christmas tree from place to place around the living room before always, _always_, winding up in the first spot Mom picked.

"Tell me more," Edward whispers in my ear.

Another deep breath. Calmer now, happier, too, I keep going. "One day after everything was unpacked and we were eating breakfast, Mom looked across the table at me and my dad and announced we were going to the nursery to buy a tree. The neighborhood we'd moved into was brand new, so the landscaping was pretty much non-existent except for grass. Mom said that a house wasn't a home without a tree, and because Dad never argued, at least not about the things that were important to Mom, we spent the day picking out the perfect tree."

I laugh at the memory, seeing it, remembering it clear as anything. "Hours, Edward. It took almost all day for her to pick out that silly tree. Either it was the wrong kind, the leaves were the wrong color, the bark was too dark, too light. Tree after tree after tree she looked at, looking for something only she knew. Finally, after I'd whined all day and Dad was losing his infinite patience, she clapped, pointed, and yelled so loud everyone in the entire city could hear her, 'This one! This is it.'"

Edward chuckles in my ear, his chest rumbles against my back and I can feel it all the way down to my toes. Deep and low, it makes my skin prickle in the best way. I melt against him, and let his warmth seep into my shirt, my skin, all the way inside of me. He presses his cheek against mine. It's smooth because he shaved this morning, and it's soft and smells spicy and clean.

He turns and gives me a quick, sweet kiss then asks, "What kind was it?"

"An Ash. I later learned it was a Raywood Ash, but for the longest time I didn't know the difference. You should have seen it."

"I bet it was something else after she looked for so long."

I shake my head. "No," and a true, full laugh bubbles out of my throat. "It was pathetic, Edward. Think Charlie Brown's Christmas tree. It was misshapen, only had a few branches with these wilted, yellowish brown leaves on it. The thing looked half, if not mostly, dead. I thought Dad was going to have a fit right there in the middle of the nursery. He spluttered and shook his head and Mom just stood there with her hands on her hips and tapped her foot and said over and over, 'Charlie, this is it. I want this one.'My poor dad, he kept looking at my mom like she'd lost her mind, but of course he gave in and bought it. Since it was summer and stayed light outside until late, there was plenty of time to plant it when we got home. We'd picked up pizza on the way and she made us eat it outside on a blanket, with the poor tree in its bucket right next to us.

"She went on and on, talking about what the tree would look like, how it would change colors in the fall and winter. Her words were so emphatic, like she couldn't talk fast enough or say enough of them to get her point across. That happened sometimes, when she was really passionate about something. She used her arms and hands, waving them, spreading them wide to emphasize how big the tree would grow."

"You do that, too, you know, when you go off on one of your wild tangents," Edward tells me and I can feel him smile against my cheek. I want to disagree with him, but I know I can't.

"I love that I'm like my mom that way," I tell him, and hold that thought deep inside to come back to later. "Dad and I couldn't even get a word in, she just kept going on and on. But what I do remember, or well, I'd forgotten but now I remember, is that she talked about roots and the importance of having good, strong ones so that the tree could stand the test of time. Phoenix weather might seem tame, but it's not. It's hot and dry and then the wind and the sand are brutal sometimes. Plus there's hail and even thunderstorms and lightning."

I stop for a second and put my thoughts in order. Everything's swimming around like water going down a drain, swirling and spinning. My heart races, blood sings through my veins as I think about her words that day and how perfect they are to remember, today of all days. "Anyway, she said to me, 'Baby, the tree and it's roots are like my love for you and your dad. It grows and grows, bigger, stronger every day. It might start out small, it might not make sense to anyone else. There might be times that the tree bends, maybe even breaks a little or loses its leaves and some might say it's ugly, but as long as the roots are there, as long as it's watered and cared for and loved, it'll thrive and grow until nothing, not even wind or rain or lightning can tear it down. Kind of like the way I love you and Daddy. Always and forever, no matter what happens, whether Daddy forgets to take his boots off and tromps mud all over my clean floors or if you forget to hang up your towel after your bath or make a bad grade on your math test, I will always love both of you.'"

Warm tears stream down my face, but they're happy ones as I silently remember watching, and helping in the way a seven-almost-eight-year-old could, my dad dig the hole and wrestle the scraggly tree into the ground. Once it was in, crooked but Mom was convinced it was straight, we all stood there, together. Mom on one side of me, Dad on the other, a family, admiring our first tree.

It was a perfect moment and one I haven't thought about since.

"I sat under that tree every day during the summer and when school started, I usually ate my snack there. It grew so fast, just like Mom promised, and by the first fall when the leaves turned, exactly like she said they would, then came back in the spring, it was almost big enough for Dad to put a tire swing on. I watched that tree, every day, until we left and went to Forks."

Silence stretches and with each second that passes, I feel more and more at peace. "We'll plant a tree like that one day, Bella. I promise." Edward's words, so simple and true and they paint a picture of a future I want more than I've ever wanted anything else.

"I can't wait." And, oh God, I can't.

When I finish talking, it's as if not only Mom but Dad, too, is here, all around … everywhere. A gust of wind, this time warm and gentle, almost like a hug, swirls around. The sun's just begun to set, brilliant beams of golden light spread over the ground. Majestic Saguaro cacti sprawl across the landscape like sentinels standing at the ready, guarding the desert, with arms high and wide in the air. The sky is streaked with pink and purple, the clouds almost gray against the pale blue sky. I can hear the low murmur of everyone behind us, but Edward's arms around me, his warm breath against my neck, are the only things I can really concentrate on.

"I wish I could have met them," Edward says as he rests his chin on my shoulder.

I turn and kiss his cheek, rest my nose in the dip between his shoulder and neck. His long-sleeved t-shirt is soft and feels so good against my skin … it smells even better. Like fresh air and warm sun and all him. No one dressed up for today; Mom never would have wanted that. She was definitely more a jeans and bare feet girl. The woman wore a bright red peasant skirt, a loose, flowy white blouse with ruffles and flip-flops when she and Phil got married, so she definitely wouldn't have wanted anyone wearing dresses, heels, or suits and ties for her final hurrah.

"They would have loved you so much. Dad would have tried to be all big and bad, but his bark was always so much worse than his bite. Granted, at ten it's not like he had to try to scare away any boys or anything." I giggle and holy hell does it ever feel good to talk about him and remember and smile and let my heart be happy while doing it. "And Mom," and my voice catches, but it's okay. I turn and face him, raising my arms to wrap them around his neck. My fingers twirl in the ends of his hair. His eyes are so warm, so bright and glittery and most of all filled with love … for me. He's been worried, and I hate knowing that, but he wouldn't be my Creeper if he didn't worry at least a little. "Mom would have loved you almost as much as I do," I tell him.

"Bella," he breathes and now, I need to kiss him.

I stand on my tiptoes and press against him. I pull him closer and tilt my chin, lips ready and waiting. He can tell what I want because he tightens his grip on my hips and tips his head to the side. And then, his mouth in on mine and I don't care that there are people behind us, don't care about anything but him and his lips and the fact that it feels better than anything has in a long time. The kiss is slow and deep and just what I want, what I need. With every twirl of his tongue and every breath that passes between us, I feel my heart get lighter and lighter. It pounds inside my chest, the beat as loud and hard as my bass drum. Edward must feel it as it hammers against his chest, it's beating so hard and so fast, but it's the good kind of hard and fast. It's life and love and letting go … and most of all, moving forward.

"I love you. So, so much," I murmur when I have to take a breath. "Thank you for being here with me."

"Oh, baby," he sort of chuckles. It's a little rough and raspy, there's a lot of emotion brewing inside of him, I can tell. His lips move to my ear, his hands to the small of my back, and says, "I'll always be with you."

And it hits me.

He will be.

Always.

It's not like I didn't know that, but now, standing in the middle of the desert, I truly know. Forks, California, Timbuktu, or anyplace else that we may go, I know it'll be together. The future used to scare the hell out of me. Not knowing where I'd be, where I'd go … who would be there, but now, because of Edward, I don't ever have to worry about any of that ever again.

My spine tingles and I shiver.

"Are you cold?"

I shake my head. I pull back and smile at him, a smile so big his eyes widen and his eyebrows dip. He stares at me and I can tell he's worried I've completely lost my mind.

"Bella?"

Poor boy, he's about three seconds from freaking out.

I giggle a little, and now I know I must sound and look like I've completely lost it, but if anything, I'm more sure of him … of everything, than I've ever been in my whole life.

"We're going to be okay," I say happily.

"Ummmm," he stammers, swallows. His mouth opens, snaps shut, the opens again but he doesn't say anything.

I throw myself at him and wriggle, trying to climb him like I'm a monkey and he's a tree, until he gets with the program and helps me up. My legs wrap around his waist, my arms tight around his neck and all I want to do is laugh and kiss him until he's dizzy. Probably not the best idea seeing as how I'd wind up on the ground with a sticker in my ass, but I throw caution to the wind and kiss him anyway.

He might be wondering what in the hell is going on with me, but that doesn't stop him from kissing me back. We do manage to stop before the dizziness sets in, but the happiness - the completeness - oh yeah, that's more than there.

"I love you." I sigh once again and rest my forehead against his.

"Ah, baby, not that I'm ever one to complain about having you throw yourself at me, but who are you and what the hell have you done with my girlfriend?"

He looks so adorably confused. He wants to smile but he's not sure he should. "Can't you feel it, Edward?" I ask and hold his face in my hands.

"All I feel is you rubbing up against me, which feels fucking good in case you couldn't tell." He lifts and holds me tighter, closer. "What am I supposed to be feeling exactly besides turned the hell on in the middle of a desert?" He's trying so hard to keep up with me, which I know at the moment is impossible.

"I can't describe it," I say breathlessly. There's so much, and I don't know where to start.

He kisses me again, lips first, then each cheek. "Try, please. You're killing me here, baby."

I take a deep breath, and let the calm fill me once more. Regretfully, I unwind and unwrap and put my feet on the ground. Needing his touch, I grab his hand and tangle our fingers together. I glance around, trying to find a place to sit and then pull him toward a big, smooth rock.

"Okay." I huff, once we're situated next to each other on the warm, flat surface. "It's like now, there's nothing holding me back, holding us back. I want to be with you. I want to go to college and travel and have sex in the middle of the afternoon and walk on the beach and someday," I swallow, but it feels like I've swallowed a big ball of sunshine, "someday, we're going to get married and have babies and plant trees and take our kids camping in the desert and to Disney World and maybe our daughter will play the drums like me or soccer like you and our son will look like my dad and smile like my mom and we'll just …" I take a breath because I feel a little lightheaded. "We're going to live happily ever after. Together."

He gasps, or gulps, then he sort of squeaks and kind of moans all at once. "Jesus Christ, I fucking love you." He pulls and I'm in his lap. "Whatever, wherever, it'll always be me and you, Bella. Always."

"Promise?" I don't really need to ask, I just like to hear the answer.

"You bet your sexy ass I promise." He growls, grins, then smashes his lips to mine and kisses me senseless. Once we come up for air, the night has gotten decidedly cooler and I know we need to back to the hotel for dinner. "Are you ready to leave?" he asks, his voice sweeter, softer as if he doesn't want to remind me we have to go.

I stand and pull him up with me, glance over my shoulder at our friends and family still standing and waiting. I look back out over the desert, memorizing it, not that I'll ever forget. Leaving here, leaving Mom will be hard, but it's time. "Yes," I whisper.

"You okay?"

I nod. I am.

"Let's go home," he says as he starts to lead us toward everyone.

I pull him to a stop. "Home is wherever you are," I tell him, meaning it with all I am.

"I swear, one day you're gonna kill me with that sweet stuff, Isabella Marie Swan someday Cullen."

His stomach grumbles loudly and I giggle. "Not if you die of starvation first," I tell him with a grin.

We take a few steps, hands clasped, and I look back, whispering, "Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad."

Edward hears, he squeezes my hand but he doesn't say anything. He doesn't have to. He already knows that the only place I want to be is beside him, always.

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**So … you all knew that was coming, yes? I hope I handled it okay … it was the way Bella wanted, so I hope it doesn't leave anyone left wanting. **

**This is it, the last regular chapter of Creeper and Drummer Girl. There will be an Epilogue, a final goodbye worthy of these two (I hope) coming soon. I'll save some of the thank yous until then but for now, I'll just tell you all that I love and adore and appreciate every single one of you that have followed me on this journey. You're why I write, truly you are. **

**Now if you'll indulge me while I take care of some personal thank yous.**

**Laurel: Can you believe we've made it through yet another story? Goodness this one had me worried for a bit! There aren't enough words, and that's a scary thought for someone as wordy as me, to tell you how much you mean to me and how much I love and thank you for everything you do for me. We still have more work to do, more journeys to take, and there isn't anyone I'd rather have by my side than you! **

**Jami: My soul sister and better half. This story never would have gotten done without our late night writing sessions and your endless words of support (and a swift kick in the ass when I needed it most) I love you, adore you, and I swear in Chicago, I'm going to kiss you all over your gorgeous face. **

**Bornonhalloween: A tougher taskmaster I'll never have, my friend. You have taught me so much, made me a better writer, and for that, I'll always be grateful. Even more than that, we've become friends, and that, is the best gift of all. I love you! **

**Robsmyyummycabanaboy: Jen, my sweet friend, you are so wonderful and every chapter, your words of love and support made me smile and filled my heart. Your help has been invaluable (and hey, you guys, how could you NOT realize that the Bella chapters were drum terms? Those came from this one here and every one was perfection!) Thank you for coming along on this ride, I love you! **

**Jules: Girl, you are so lovely and your enthusiasm always put a smile on my face. Late night freak outs didn't even scare you and I love you lots! **

**Becky (my sweet pea), Caren, and Kassiah … my dream team in the background. I don't even have words for you three other than thank you and I love you. **

**Okay, enough from me. Thank you for reading, for loving and supporting and for sharing this with me. I love you all! **

**See you soon with the Epi … leave me some love, this one hurt a little! **

**Erin~ **

***PS- Don't forget to donate to Stand Up 4 Katalina to get the special Peyton outtake from _The Breakers._ There are over 100 amazing authors donating to this incredible cause for a very special member of our fandom. If you need any information, check it out here:  
**

**katalina . fandomcause . info / about /**


	23. Breakaway

**Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, I own the plot. **

**Thank you, all, so so much for everything. This and _Watching Her_ have been true labors of love for me and I appreciate you taking this journey with me more than you'll ever know. The love and support for me, for this Edward and Bella, has blown me away and made my heart so full. **

**To my girls: Laurel, J'me, Bornonhalloween, Robsmyyummycabanaboy, and Jules, saying I love you and thank you doesn't seem like enough, but it's all I got. I couldn't have done this without any of you! Becky, Caren, and Kassiah - you three rock my world and my love for you knows no bounds. Jaime Arkin, your banner MADE this story for me, right from the very beginning. Thank you for sharing your talent with me and the rest of us. **

***sigh* It's the end. I know some might be sad, but it's time. See you at the bottom.**

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~~**

**Epilogue - Breakaway**

_Bella, _

_Finally. _

_I won't even tell you how many tries I had to go through to even start this letter - I think I used up half the notebook. Nothing sounded right, but I can't ever go wrong with your name, so there you go. There's really not anything better to me than the sound of your name … unless it's you, saying my name when I'm inside of you because nothing will ever sound better than that. _

_Ever. _

_Can you believe we're graduating tomorrow? Graduating, baby! How fucking awesome is that? This year has been so mind-boggling, sometimes I can't even believe everything that's happened. It's crazy when I think about it. Last year at this time I was planning my summer with Jasper and Emmett, not knowing that a few days later my whole life would change. Every dream I ever had, everything I thought I wanted simply disappeared the second I saw you. I never told you this, but I saw you once before I found you in the woods. (Jesus, that makes it sound like you were lost or something and I came to your rescue, doesn't it? Never mind. Don't answer that, okay?) But I did see you. I was in my car and you were going the opposite direction and I swear that was all it took for me to be completely yours. Thank God for not being able to sleep, right? I would have found you eventually you know, I had to, but stumbling across you in the dead of night just made it that much sooner. _

_It gave me more time to watch you. More time to want you. More time for notebooks and sugar cookies. More time to love you … though I'm pretty sure I loved you right from the start. _

_It's been almost a year. A YEAR, Bella, that you've been in my life and I honestly can't remember what it was like before you. I don't want to. I know I did my thing … I played soccer, my piano, and guitar. I hung out with Jas and Emmett and the guys and spent way too much time eating pizza and playing video games. I got dragged to the movies, sometimes even the mall, by Ali and Rose. I went to parties and saw my other friends. I did my homework and ate dinner with my parents, but I can't ever remember being truly happy. Like want to write it in the sky, yell it from the rooftops, happy. I would say run through town naked happy, but I'm afraid I'd only give Emmett ideas and then Rose would kill me. I don't think I'd be very happy if I was dead, do you? _

_The moon was so bright tonight, did you see? And the sky was full, so full, of stars. Up until last summer I never stopped to really pay attention to them, never had a reason to, you know? But the moon and the stars kept me company all those nights I spent walking to you. One night I'm going to have you walk from my house to yours just so you can see and hear everything I did. I miss it sometimes, is that strange? Don't get me wrong, seeing you every day, being able to touch you and kiss you and hold your hand or twist your hair in my fingers (and damn, I am SO going to miss Spanish class … promise me that we'll take at least one class together when we get to UCLA, please?!) is the best thing ever, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit to missing a little bit that sense of excitement I had every night as I walked through the woods to your house. Not knowing what you'd be wearing - you know the Baloo t-shirt is still my favorite - or maybe the Ariel one, though I really loved Minnie Mouse, shit, I'm not sure I can even pick a favorite. I do know the hot pink shorts are definitely on the list - they make your ass look so fucking good - or if you'd play your drums or dance or just sit and read, not knowing if you'd be sad (I never liked that very much) or happy, if you'd read my letter first or wait until I left … if you'd smile at me (always my favorite) … just all of it, I miss sometimes. _

_Do you ever think about how everything worked out? Not that I have any doubt that we were meant to be together, but really, have you ever tried to picture how we'll tell our kids how we met? Something like, 'well, you know baby girl' … we're having a girl first, did I tell you that? One who looks just like you, but maybe with a little better taste in music, because seriously, Bella, I still can't quite believe that you don't like the Beatles. Anyway, we'll tell her how I saw you one day, couldn't stop thinking about you, then deep in the woods, in the dead of night, I found you and we lived happily ever after. We'll have to skip that whole Creeper part, oh, and the freaking you out part … and probably the watching you part because I mean who in the hell does that? God, it's a wonder you didn't have me arrested! _

_But you knew, didn't you? Just like me, from the very beginning, that what we have is different, special and something that is just ours. My dad loves my mom, Emmett loves Rose, Jasper loves Ali … Phil still loves your mom, but I swear, Bella, I fucking swear, that no one in the history of ever has loved anyone as much as I love you. We're young, we're just barely starting on our forever together, but I can't imagine there will ever be a day when I love you more than I do right now. Oh, I've heard those speeches that people give in movies, you know the ones, there's some big, fancy, beautiful wedding full of beautiful people, and someone gets up and gives a toast and says something like 'I hope you look back on your life together and today is the day you loved each other the least.' It's a great sentiment, and I get it, I do, but I'm also not sure it's entirely true. I might be wrong, I probably am, and I'm sure at some point in the future you'll pull this letter out and it'll be staring at me in black and white how wrong I was, but it's what I feel right now._

_We're starting the rest of our lives together tomorrow, baby. We're going to spend the summer traveling. You're going to cheer me on as I play all over the world, and we're going to eat strange food, meet new people, see things we've only read about in books or seen in movies. We're going to start school together in the fall, we're going to live in our very first apartment together, just me and you. We're going to cook together, watch TV together, go to class (like I said, just one class, promise me, okay?) and study. Take walks on the beach, take lots and lots of showers because no lie, showering with you is really fucking high on my list of favorite things to do with you. We're going to stay naked for entire weekends, we're going to stay up all night talking or my most favorite thing to do with you … make love until we pass out from exhaustion. We're going to see and be and do whatever we want, whenever we want. _

_Those are just a few of the reasons why I don't know how I can love you more than I do today. We have everything, right now … how can it get any better than this? _

_I know you're scared about leaving Forks - I am, too, you know. I'm scared you're going to get tired of me. I'm scared I might not be enough for you. I'm scared that I'll fail, that I won't make the National Team and then I won't know how to move past that or find a new path. I'm scared we're going to fight and I'll say something that hurts you that I can't take back. I'm scared you'll get sick and I won't know how to take care of you. I'm scared that maybe, somehow, someway, I'll disappoint you. I know you'll tell me that one won't ever happen and I don't honestly think it will, but there's always a chance for everything I guess. _

_But back to happy things, we're graduating tomorrow! Did I mention that already? I really can't wait to get you alone, you know that right? The last month or so has been crazy, hasn't it? Getting the apartment set in LA, getting all the travel itineraries in order (you do realize you're going go to be in charge of making sure we don't get lost or miss our planes and buses, don't you? If you leave it up to me, we'll probably end up in some hut in the middle of nowhere) dealing with our parents' incessant talks about being safe and responsible. I mean come on, if I have to hear Dad or Phil tell me one more time to always keep cash … and a condom in my wallet, keep my phone charged, and open the door for you or listen to my mom sniff then tell me she's not crying when she totally is, I might scream. I know they're worried, they wouldn't be our parents if they weren't, but you gotta give it to them, not many parents out there would let their only children traipse all over the world together for an entire summer. I know we'll see them along the way, and that'll be great, and I know we won't be exactly alone since we're traveling with twenty-one other guys, their families and girlfriends, coaches and who the hell else knows, but it's going to be so fucking cool, baby. _

_I can't wait to get started. I can't wait to start our beginning. _

_Do me a favor? Wear this shirt under your graduation gown tomorrow. I know we're supposed to dress up, but it's not like anyone will know and besides, what is Principal Banner gonna do, tell us we can't graduate? He loves me which means he loves you, so don't worry about it, just wear the shirt, okay? _

_I'm going to tell you something, and God help me if you ever tell Emmett or Jasper any of this … I must be an idiot for giving you so much ammunition to use when I piss you off, but I'm stupid in love with you so why the hell not, I guess. When it comes to you, I find that I sometimes do things that no one in their right mind would do. But anyway, here goes … I picked this shirt out for you, Cinderella, because I want to be your Prince Charming. You've been so alone for so long, Bella. You don't have a wicked stepmother and you've never been treated badly or anything, but like Cinderella, you lost your family. I know you've had Phil and Maggie, and they love you, but I want to be your knight in shining armor (wrong Disney movie, I know, but just go with me, okay? This is hard enough as it is!) I want to slay your dragons, I want my kiss to be everything to you, I want to be the one that you ride off into the sunset with. _

_You're my person. You're only mine and I want it to always be that way. I'll share you with Phil, with Maggie and my parents and our friends. Eventually we'll have our own family and I'll have to share you with our kids, but at the end of the day, when we go to sleep at night, you'll be mine. _

_Tomorrow is the first day of our fairytale, of our happily ever after, and I hope you're as excited about that as I am. _

_I'll love you forever, Bella. _

_Yours Always,_

_Edward_

_PS … Will you please, pretty, pretty please, make some cookies for us to take on the plane tomorrow? I promise I'll let you have the window seat, you can even drool on my arm if you need to use me for a pillow. Oh … and sprinkles. Make sure there's sprinkles! _

**~~~~OOO~~~~OOO~~~~**

**And of course they're going to live happily ever after! This is the end, there won't be any more. I won't say ever because that's a long time, but there are no plans to add anything else to this story. It's marked complete and I intend to keep it that way. **

**Some have asked what my plans are. Um … the short answer is, I'm tired. I'm taking a break for a bit, until at the very, VERY soonest, the first of the year. I do have one more story in my head, one that I've been working on for some time now, but for right now, I need to miss Edward and Bella (any E and B, not just my own) for a bit before I'm going to come back to them. Make sure you have me on alert so you'll know when the urge to write more E and B hits, because I know it will! I'm also working on my own original fiction. If and when I have news on that front, you can best believe I'll share so continue to check in on FB, follow me on Twitter or sign up on the blog for emails. **

**Laurel has the PDF of _The Breakers_ about half done, so it will be ready for you all to download soon. _Watching Her_ and _Drumsticks and Penalty Kicks _will be next, so be on the lookout for announcements about that, okay? **

**A quick self-pimp if you don't mind- my SoulSister, prettykittyartist, and I wrote a naughty little one shot for our friend, Nic's, birthday. I'd love for you to check it out! We're named thesoulsistersofsin. J'me and I had a blast writing it, so don't be surprised if in the future you see a few things pop up here and there from us, so follow and alert and you'll know when we do! **

**www . fanfiction s/ 8670680 /1/ Glimmer**

**Thank you, again, from the bottom of my heart for reading, reviewing, loving, and believing in me and in this story! This has been my most favorite journey, thanks for letting me share it with you! **

**Leave me some love, one last time, okay? My heart hurts a little, it's hard letting my babies go and saying goodbye! **

**Lots of love,**

**Erin~ **


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